hopelessly same sex attracted

GDL

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This bigotry

Watch out for those who tell you that identifying sin is bigotry.

In Christ we're all to be working with God working in us to overcome sins, whichever ones we may struggle with. This is part of the full scope of our Salvation and the verses I gave are part of the grace and processes we have been given to win the battles.
 
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Sabertooth

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We can't have communion with God and sin a lot.
At least, not knowingly/willfully. At best, it is a growing process and there is grace to accommodate that process. :bow:
 
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At least, not knowingly/willfully. At best, it is a growing process and there is grace to accommodate that process. :bow:

Yes i totally agree.
Quenching the Holy spirit with sexual sins is not the way to go though... of course God has lots of patience until we can overcome with his help, but if you want 'fellowship with God' you must be somewhat clean.
 
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Thomas White

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I'm a lesbian and I hate it. I've known since I was like 11. I want to be a Christian and follow Jesus and be celibate so bad but I give in to my flesh and desire every single time it pops up, and the more often it happens the less guilty and concerned I feel.

I'm a virgin (thank God) but I'm scared one day I'm going to give in to my feelings and sin in the worst possible way of this I could. What people say get to me. "You're in denial. You can't run away from this. You can avoid it all you want but you're still a lesbian. You hate yourself. Stop hiding. I feel bad for you. I pity you. You've become just like the homophobes who hurt you, who hurt us. You want it. I know you do. Don't ignore your true feelings."

I hate it. I know it's wrong. But I want it so bad. But I'm losing the conviction of sin. I feel like a ticking time bomb who's going to sin and give up on God. I feel if the temptation was right in front of me right now, and I had an option to say no, I wouldn't say no. I just feel overwhelmed with desire. The more I avoid it the more I want it. The more it festers in me.
But I want to love God. I want to follow Jesus. I'm scared I'm not born again. If I loved Jesus I wouldn't willfully give in to temptations and willfully sin multiple times.

I hate being a homosexual, it's making me hate other homosexuals, sometimes I think about hurting myself or indulging in substances just to deal with the crippling sense of cognitive dissonance. I don't want it to be my identity, but I've thought of myself as "lesbian" for such a long time it's hard to shake off. I hate it. I just want it gone. I want it gone.

It's coming to the uncomfortable question of "if a girl kept pressuring you, flirting with you, or even worse, would you try to flee? or would you give in?" I fear it would be the latter. Because even though I don't want it, my carnal self, my flesh, does.

I don't even feel worthy to repent to God, because I've repented of the same thing tons of times. God isn't fooled by my crap, and it's probably gonna happen again. I hate myself too much to talk to God. He's probably ashamed of me.

And please, I don't want any comments telling me to hold out the hope for a straight marriage and children. I don't want to be married. I don't want kids. I don't want to lose my virginity. I am not attracted to anything about men.

I simply just wish I can be chemically castrated or something. To be removed of all sexual desire. That way I can be a celibate and never deal with same sex temptation ever again. It'll be so much easier to serve God that way. I don't see myself losing faith that way.

I don't know what I'm looking for here. Prayers? comfort? advice? I just hate myself. I want to stop being gay. I want to stop wanting it.

God loves you however you are. He did not send His Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it. Be true to God and true to yourself. If something is a sin, God will tell you. Just follow Him first, love your neighbors, and trust in Jesus to save you. All the other is extra. Trust in God. He made you. He doesn't make mistakes. Don't condemn yourself. He hasn't condemned you.
 
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Blade

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Almost PM you but.. maybe it will help someone else. There was this young girl that would cry out to God for this exact thing. She hated it so much. Every day she cried out to Him. I am one for faith and standing on the word but.. our lord oh He is full of compassion.

I can still see her.. one day she woke up and every desire for the same sex was gone.. as if it was never there. She just wanted to be like GOD wanted.

What He has started in you He will finish. This new so to speak desire for Him to be as He made you.. IS the confirmation that the destination is there.

Not here to boast.. why I would rather PM. Never want to be seen or heard in times like this. HE ALONE must get all the glory and praise. He has heard you.. He loves you. For each one of us.. since He is GOD He alone.. He came just for you. He died just for you. He made all for you. This is not some group hug or group love. Each one of us are the most important one to Him. HOW He does this I truly don't know.. I just rejoice knowing He does this for every one of His children.

Your not alone.. your loved .. sis now get this.. you have been forgiven. You have been set free. YES I know what you see and feel.. Hes not done yet :) Oh it looks dark.. but your not alone. You will wake up fresh and new.. no desire for the same sex. See what ever we desire when we pray.. believe we receive it we will have it. This.. this is of God. WHERE Do you think this desire to change came from? :)

I only share what I KNOW. As He told Sarah...what is to hard for the lord? So.. in this moment.. forgive your self and rejoice. Praise Him for He loves you never left you.. never ever left.

You ......didn't see or hear but He cried with you.. you didn't feel yet you are still right now in His arms. You have been set free.. Satan has no more hold on you. You asked.. He heard.. its done. What was is gone.. in Jesus name. I lie not.. you will wake up fresh and new.. new desires. The enemy is really lying to you. He can never tell the truth. Every lie flip it :)

Father as Christ said and I know you hear us. I humble myself before you and Father give her a peace out of no where so she knows you are there and what you have already done. Just to help her faith yet a promise also. I take hold of the enemy at it root..loose her set her free....she belongs to Jesus Christ king of kings and lord of lords. Thank you Father give her great JOY in JESUS name
 
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Mark Quayle

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I'm a lesbian and I hate it. I've known since I was like 11. I want to be a Christian and follow Jesus and be celibate so bad but I give in to my flesh and desire every single time it pops up, and the more often it happens the less guilty and concerned I feel.

I'm a virgin (thank God) but I'm scared one day I'm going to give in to my feelings and sin in the worst possible way of this I could. What people say get to me. "You're in denial. You can't run away from this. You can avoid it all you want but you're still a lesbian. You hate yourself. Stop hiding. I feel bad for you. I pity you. You've become just like the homophobes who hurt you, who hurt us. You want it. I know you do. Don't ignore your true feelings."

I hate it. I know it's wrong. But I want it so bad. But I'm losing the conviction of sin. I feel like a ticking time bomb who's going to sin and give up on God. I feel if the temptation was right in front of me right now, and I had an option to say no, I wouldn't say no. I just feel overwhelmed with desire. The more I avoid it the more I want it. The more it festers in me.
But I want to love God. I want to follow Jesus. I'm scared I'm not born again. If I loved Jesus I wouldn't willfully give in to temptations and willfully sin multiple times.

I hate being a homosexual, it's making me hate other homosexuals, sometimes I think about hurting myself or indulging in substances just to deal with the crippling sense of cognitive dissonance. I don't want it to be my identity, but I've thought of myself as "lesbian" for such a long time it's hard to shake off. I hate it. I just want it gone. I want it gone.

It's coming to the uncomfortable question of "if a girl kept pressuring you, flirting with you, or even worse, would you try to flee? or would you give in?" I fear it would be the latter. Because even though I don't want it, my carnal self, my flesh, does.

I don't even feel worthy to repent to God, because I've repented of the same thing tons of times. God isn't fooled by my crap, and it's probably gonna happen again. I hate myself too much to talk to God. He's probably ashamed of me.

And please, I don't want any comments telling me to hold out the hope for a straight marriage and children. I don't want to be married. I don't want kids. I don't want to lose my virginity. I am not attracted to anything about men.

I simply just wish I can be chemically castrated or something. To be removed of all sexual desire. That way I can be a celibate and never deal with same sex temptation ever again. It'll be so much easier to serve God that way. I don't see myself losing faith that way.

I don't know what I'm looking for here. Prayers? comfort? advice? I just hate myself. I want to stop being gay. I want to stop wanting it.
There is one thing that to me is important --we need, as believers, to stop thinking in the terms of the world's narratives.

From what Scripture says, a homosexual is not someone with certain urges (though the urges can be fed and even disciplined (focused on, practiced, habits formed, etc into sin)), but a person who practices homosexuality. For example, if I was to (as happened to me a few times, particularly as a teen) to feel a sudden rush of desire for someone of the same sex, it does not define me. The Bible says clearly, that no homosexual will see the Kingdom of God (I Cor. 6:9, 1 Tim. 1:9-10 and many more) So, I say, you are not a homosexual by your urges, for one reason, because I don't want to condemn you, and for another reason, because according to what I can tell from Scripture, your urges do not keep you from the Kingdom of God.

The secular world will tell you also that it is a scientific fact that a homosexual is a born homosexual (which Ellen Degeneres at one point took issue with, and I think she was right), because I have seen how both the body and the mind can be trained, as the Bible indicates --renewed, brought under control.

One last note, and this may not help you at first, but you may recognize it later. Your concepts, achievements, even Christian growth (as you assess it) are not as important to God as the final result he is after in making you a member of the Bride of Christ. If you indeed belong to Christ, he will complete what he has begun in you, but it is not likely it will quite look like what you expected. God is not like us, and he doesn't think like us. But if you belong to him, there is nobody waiting to take your place in the body of Christ. That spot is YOURS.

PS> the devil loves for you to concentrate on this that torments you --ask wisdom of God. It may be years coming, before you notice prayers being answered. There are bigger issues out there than the apparently insurmountable desires you feel. But you belong to God --not to yourself.
 
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Rene Loup

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A little mantra I use when dealing with sexual desire is saying to myself, "This is someone's son/daughter."

I would recommend reciting this often every time those lustful desires come after seeing anyone. Never give up.
 
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Job3315

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I'm a lesbian and I hate it. I've known since I was like 11. I want to be a Christian and follow Jesus and be celibate so bad but I give in to my flesh and desire every single time it pops up, and the more often it happens the less guilty and concerned I feel.

I'm a virgin (thank God) but I'm scared one day I'm going to give in to my feelings and sin in the worst possible way of this I could. What people say get to me. "You're in denial. You can't run away from this. You can avoid it all you want but you're still a lesbian. You hate yourself. Stop hiding. I feel bad for you. I pity you. You've become just like the homophobes who hurt you, who hurt us. You want it. I know you do. Don't ignore your true feelings."

I hate it. I know it's wrong. But I want it so bad. But I'm losing the conviction of sin. I feel like a ticking time bomb who's going to sin and give up on God. I feel if the temptation was right in front of me right now, and I had an option to say no, I wouldn't say no. I just feel overwhelmed with desire. The more I avoid it the more I want it. The more it festers in me.
But I want to love God. I want to follow Jesus. I'm scared I'm not born again. If I loved Jesus I wouldn't willfully give in to temptations and willfully sin multiple times.

I hate being a homosexual, it's making me hate other homosexuals, sometimes I think about hurting myself or indulging in substances just to deal with the crippling sense of cognitive dissonance. I don't want it to be my identity, but I've thought of myself as "lesbian" for such a long time it's hard to shake off. I hate it. I just want it gone. I want it gone.

It's coming to the uncomfortable question of "if a girl kept pressuring you, flirting with you, or even worse, would you try to flee? or would you give in?" I fear it would be the latter. Because even though I don't want it, my carnal self, my flesh, does.

I don't even feel worthy to repent to God, because I've repented of the same thing tons of times. God isn't fooled by my crap, and it's probably gonna happen again. I hate myself too much to talk to God. He's probably ashamed of me.

And please, I don't want any comments telling me to hold out the hope for a straight marriage and children. I don't want to be married. I don't want kids. I don't want to lose my virginity. I am not attracted to anything about men.

I simply just wish I can be chemically castrated or something. To be removed of all sexual desire. That way I can be a celibate and never deal with same sex temptation ever again. It'll be so much easier to serve God that way. I don't see myself losing faith that way.

I don't know what I'm looking for here. Prayers? comfort? advice? I just hate myself. I want to stop being gay. I want to stop wanting it.
Thank you for your vulnerability, it helped me understand your situation a little more. My rule is, if is not in God’s heart, mind or plans, then I don’t want it either. When I get tempted I take a good look at the sin instead of running from it. I actually sit down with God (in prayer) and I welcome Him into the temptation. I ask Him to take a look and help me understand and figure out why is the devil using that tactic, why am I tempted in that area and what is the devils strategy. Then, I work from there. It’s also important to know if the situation is emotional, spiritual or just from the flesh or a mix. Also if it came through an open door (an idea from a movie, a lie you agreed with or even a generational curse). Once I have a clear understanding of the sin, then I work accordingly; repent, declare, seek help, ect.

The Bible says that God doesn't tempt us, it also says to resist the devil and he will flee from you, so I keep in mind that if God says that is because He wants us to be aware of the devils tactics.

Something very important we must understand is that once we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, our identity changes. Before, we were sinners without hope, but after accepting Salvation, we become sons and daughters learning our new identity and as we learn we still struggle from time to time, but maturity comes with time, you start getting better at identifying the devils fiery arrows. Even though our behavior changes, it’s more an awakening or a manifestation of God’s nature, truth and reality in you, yeah we resist temptation, but at some point knowing your identity and love for God becomes your shield and priority so temptation becomes less powerful in you. It’s important that you align with what God says about you. Don’t say you are a lesbian, say that you are a daughter of God who is struggling with a sin, but you know Jesus conquered sin and because He became your sacrifice, you get to enjoy the fruits of His labor. Every day declare your alliance to God and the Kingdom of Heaven. The Bible says that we need to grow from Glory to Glory (revelation to revelation) and that we must renew our minds with God’s truth.

Bob Hamp has a lot of great teachings about freedom. Foundations of Freedom helped me a lot to understand my identity in God.
 
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DamianWarS

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I don't even feel worthy to repent to God, because I've repented of the same thing tons of times. God isn't fooled by my crap, and it's probably gonna happen again. I hate myself too much to talk to God. He's probably ashamed of me.

you are not alone. What you face is the struggle of sin and here is what Paul says about his own struggle

Romans 7:15-25
We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!


There isn't a time in my life that this passage hasn't applied personally. my advice is to keep seeking Christ and go to where he is directing you. if you think these sorts of feelings came out of abuse or from some tramtic event(s) then you might want to consider going to a Christian counsellor, not to remove the feelings or "fix" them but to deal with the event(s) of trauma.
 
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Sketcher

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I'm a lesbian and I hate it. I've known since I was like 11. I want to be a Christian and follow Jesus and be celibate so bad but I give in to my flesh and desire every single time it pops up, and the more often it happens the less guilty and concerned I feel.

I'm a virgin (thank God) but I'm scared one day I'm going to give in to my feelings and sin in the worst possible way of this I could. What people say get to me. "You're in denial. You can't run away from this. You can avoid it all you want but you're still a lesbian. You hate yourself. Stop hiding. I feel bad for you. I pity you. You've become just like the homophobes who hurt you, who hurt us. You want it. I know you do. Don't ignore your true feelings."

I hate it. I know it's wrong. But I want it so bad. But I'm losing the conviction of sin. I feel like a ticking time bomb who's going to sin and give up on God. I feel if the temptation was right in front of me right now, and I had an option to say no, I wouldn't say no. I just feel overwhelmed with desire. The more I avoid it the more I want it. The more it festers in me.
But I want to love God. I want to follow Jesus. I'm scared I'm not born again. If I loved Jesus I wouldn't willfully give in to temptations and willfully sin multiple times.

I hate being a homosexual, it's making me hate other homosexuals, sometimes I think about hurting myself or indulging in substances just to deal with the crippling sense of cognitive dissonance. I don't want it to be my identity, but I've thought of myself as "lesbian" for such a long time it's hard to shake off. I hate it. I just want it gone. I want it gone.

It's coming to the uncomfortable question of "if a girl kept pressuring you, flirting with you, or even worse, would you try to flee? or would you give in?" I fear it would be the latter. Because even though I don't want it, my carnal self, my flesh, does.

I don't even feel worthy to repent to God, because I've repented of the same thing tons of times. God isn't fooled by my crap, and it's probably gonna happen again. I hate myself too much to talk to God. He's probably ashamed of me.

And please, I don't want any comments telling me to hold out the hope for a straight marriage and children. I don't want to be married. I don't want kids. I don't want to lose my virginity. I am not attracted to anything about men.

I simply just wish I can be chemically castrated or something. To be removed of all sexual desire. That way I can be a celibate and never deal with same sex temptation ever again. It'll be so much easier to serve God that way. I don't see myself losing faith that way.

I don't know what I'm looking for here. Prayers? comfort? advice? I just hate myself. I want to stop being gay. I want to stop wanting it.
I hear you.

I am very used to inordinate desire for women as a straight male. And I have reasons to believe that life-long singlehood may well be in the cards for me, so I cannot expect true relief as long as I live. Lustful thoughts towards women happen all the time for me. Even though my orientation is right, what I do with it is wrong, and I have no fix for it.

Yet, God reminds me that I am a disciple, and with that is a reminder that I can choose to act like a disciple. It's not the spiritual nuclear bomb that you are asking for and that I have asked for more times than I can count, but if the best I can do is grind, then I have to grind.

I would also advise finding trustworthy women whom you can be friends with, who can be trusted with this information and keep it to themselves. These need to be women who will acknowledge the wrongness of when you say "yes" to these temptations, but not condemn you or treat you like someone who believes it isn't a problem. And while they need to see and acknowledge this part of you, it shouldn't be the centerpiece of their relationship with you. For instance, there's a guy in my men's group who is mostly gay. It took him about a couple of years to admit that to us, but the common interests we all had and built our friendships on were still there. He's still one of us. He keeps coming around, so I think we're loving him well. Not all people who are gay or bisexual have a story like that when it comes to the church, but I want that for you.
 
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Mark Quayle

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A little mantra I use when dealing with sexual desire is saying to myself, "This is someone's son/daughter."

I would recommend reciting this often every time those lustful desires come after seeing anyone. Never give up.

That is very useful.

Along with however sincere you truly are, if you are intellectually honest with yourself, you must avoid tempting situations --to the degree of "if you hand offend you cut it off"-- it is that important, is what I mean. Don't play with temptation.

Bur the thing I have found most useful is reading huge swaths of scripture, memorizing the verses that seem most relevant, like, "walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh."
 
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Annie777

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I'm a lesbian and I hate it. I've known since I was like 11. I want to be a Christian and follow Jesus and be celibate so bad but I give in to my flesh and desire every single time it pops up, and the more often it happens the less guilty and concerned I feel.

I'm a virgin (thank God) but I'm scared one day I'm going to give in to my feelings and sin in the worst possible way of this I could. What people say get to me. "You're in denial. You can't run away from this. You can avoid it all you want but you're still a lesbian. You hate yourself. Stop hiding. I feel bad for you. I pity you. You've become just like the homophobes who hurt you, who hurt us. You want it. I know you do. Don't ignore your true feelings."

I hate it. I know it's wrong. But I want it so bad. But I'm losing the conviction of sin. I feel like a ticking time bomb who's going to sin and give up on God. I feel if the temptation was right in front of me right now, and I had an option to say no, I wouldn't say no. I just feel overwhelmed with desire. The more I avoid it the more I want it. The more it festers in me.
But I want to love God. I want to follow Jesus. I'm scared I'm not born again. If I loved Jesus I wouldn't willfully give in to temptations and willfully sin multiple times.

I hate being a homosexual, it's making me hate other homosexuals, sometimes I think about hurting myself or indulging in substances just to deal with the crippling sense of cognitive dissonance. I don't want it to be my identity, but I've thought of myself as "lesbian" for such a long time it's hard to shake off. I hate it. I just want it gone. I want it gone.

It's coming to the uncomfortable question of "if a girl kept pressuring you, flirting with you, or even worse, would you try to flee? or would you give in?" I fear it would be the latter. Because even though I don't want it, my carnal self, my flesh, does.

I don't even feel worthy to repent to God, because I've repented of the same thing tons of times. God isn't fooled by my crap, and it's probably gonna happen again. I hate myself too much to talk to God. He's probably ashamed of me.

And please, I don't want any comments telling me to hold out the hope for a straight marriage and children. I don't want to be married. I don't want kids. I don't want to lose my virginity. I am not attracted to anything about men.

I simply just wish I can be chemically castrated or something. To be removed of all sexual desire. That way I can be a celibate and never deal with same sex temptation ever again. It'll be so much easier to serve God that way. I don't see myself losing faith that way.

I don't know what I'm looking for here. Prayers? comfort? advice? I just hate myself. I want to stop being gay. I want to stop wanting it.

Hi gal, please don't condemn yourself. I know homosexuality is a sin, but I believe that the best way to be free from it is to know why you're attracted to people of the same sex (ask God to show you?) and then seek help (need not be Christian kind of help but you must be comfortable with it). God bless you and keep you.:)
 
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SANTOSO

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I'm a lesbian and I hate it. I've known since I was like 11. I want to be a Christian and follow Jesus and be celibate so bad but I give in to my flesh and desire every single time it pops up, and the more often it happens the less guilty and concerned I feel.

I'm a virgin (thank God) but I'm scared one day I'm going to give in to my feelings and sin in the worst possible way of this I could. What people say get to me. "You're in denial. You can't run away from this. You can avoid it all you want but you're still a lesbian. You hate yourself. Stop hiding. I feel bad for you. I pity you. You've become just like the homophobes who hurt you, who hurt us. You want it. I know you do. Don't ignore your true feelings."

I hate it. I know it's wrong. But I want it so bad. But I'm losing the conviction of sin. I feel like a ticking time bomb who's going to sin and give up on God. I feel if the temptation was right in front of me right now, and I had an option to say no, I wouldn't say no. I just feel overwhelmed with desire. The more I avoid it the more I want it. The more it festers in me.
But I want to love God. I want to follow Jesus. I'm scared I'm not born again. If I loved Jesus I wouldn't willfully give in to temptations and willfully sin multiple times.

I hate being a homosexual, it's making me hate other homosexuals, sometimes I think about hurting myself or indulging in substances just to deal with the crippling sense of cognitive dissonance. I don't want it to be my identity, but I've thought of myself as "lesbian" for such a long time it's hard to shake off. I hate it. I just want it gone. I want it gone.

It's coming to the uncomfortable question of "if a girl kept pressuring you, flirting with you, or even worse, would you try to flee? or would you give in?" I fear it would be the latter. Because even though I don't want it, my carnal self, my flesh, does.

I don't even feel worthy to repent to God, because I've repented of the same thing tons of times. God isn't fooled by my crap, and it's probably gonna happen again. I hate myself too much to talk to God. He's probably ashamed of me.

And please, I don't want any comments telling me to hold out the hope for a straight marriage and children. I don't want to be married. I don't want kids. I don't want to lose my virginity. I am not attracted to anything about men.

I simply just wish I can be chemically castrated or something. To be removed of all sexual desire. That way I can be a celibate and never deal with same sex temptation ever again. It'll be so much easier to serve God that way. I don't see myself losing faith that way.

I don't know what I'm looking for here. Prayers? comfort? advice? I just hate myself. I want to stop being gay. I want to stop wanting it.

I understand you are considering celibacy.
This is what we have heard :
The disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry." -Matthew 19:10
But he said to them, "Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. -Matthew 19:11
For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it." -Matthew 19:12

Sunflower,
Consider the life of those eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Click the video below.


 
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Mark Quayle

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I know it's not worth it. I know Jesus is so much more important and that acting on these feelings will hurt my relationship with Him.

Thing is I agree with you, relationships aren't a big deal. I know I can live without one. I see a celibate life as a happy life. Which just makes the urges all the more annoying because I didn't ask for them nor do want them. I feel so stuck and trapped.

My friends aren't pressuring me either. It's just stuff I hear people say to others like me, people who forsake their desires for Christ. And it hits me personally so hard. I hear it in my head all the time.

I hope this is helpful, but consider --not saying you should act on what I say here, just consider-- that even if you have victory in this from now on, even though continually tempted and driven by it, and it consumes most of your life until it finally slacks off in your old age, what have you gained, in fact? There is so much more to walking with God than to have this for your focus. I assume you already know what I'm saying, but to me, it would be worth thinking about it again. I used to say, for my own problem with purity, what if the Devil came to this battleground, prepared to do battle with me, and I wasn't even there anymore! Might not seem possible, and it didn't with me until much later, but I prayed for a different focus for my mind to dwell on, and eventually God gave me a much higher satisfaction to pursue.
 
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Hmm

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I'm a lesbian and I hate it. I've known since I was like 11. I want to be a Christian and follow Jesus and be celibate so bad but I give in to my flesh and desire every single time it pops up, and the more often it happens the less guilty and concerned I feel.

I'm a virgin (thank God) but I'm scared one day I'm going to give in to my feelings and sin in the worst possible way of this I could. What people say get to me. "You're in denial. You can't run away from this. You can avoid it all you want but you're still a lesbian. You hate yourself. Stop hiding. I feel bad for you. I pity you. You've become just like the homophobes who hurt you, who hurt us. You want it. I know you do. Don't ignore your true feelings."

I hate it. I know it's wrong. But I want it so bad. But I'm losing the conviction of sin. I feel like a ticking time bomb who's going to sin and give up on God. I feel if the temptation was right in front of me right now, and I had an option to say no, I wouldn't say no. I just feel overwhelmed with desire. The more I avoid it the more I want it. The more it festers in me.
But I want to love God. I want to follow Jesus. I'm scared I'm not born again. If I loved Jesus I wouldn't willfully give in to temptations and willfully sin multiple times.

I hate being a homosexual, it's making me hate other homosexuals, sometimes I think about hurting myself or indulging in substances just to deal with the crippling sense of cognitive dissonance. I don't want it to be my identity, but I've thought of myself as "lesbian" for such a long time it's hard to shake off. I hate it. I just want it gone. I want it gone.

It's coming to the uncomfortable question of "if a girl kept pressuring you, flirting with you, or even worse, would you try to flee? or would you give in?" I fear it would be the latter. Because even though I don't want it, my carnal self, my flesh, does.

I don't even feel worthy to repent to God, because I've repented of the same thing tons of times. God isn't fooled by my crap, and it's probably gonna happen again. I hate myself too much to talk to God. He's probably ashamed of me.

And please, I don't want any comments telling me to hold out the hope for a straight marriage and children. I don't want to be married. I don't want kids. I don't want to lose my virginity. I am not attracted to anything about men.

I simply just wish I can be chemically castrated or something. To be removed of all sexual desire. That way I can be a celibate and never deal with same sex temptation ever again. It'll be so much easier to serve God that way. I don't see myself losing faith that way.

I don't know what I'm looking for here. Prayers? comfort? advice? I just hate myself. I want to stop being gay. I want to stop wanting it.

Do you know any other gay or lesbian Christians you can talk to? I think it's always good to talk to people who understand what you are going through, whatever the issue is, so it may be worth taking a look at some of the online Christian groups that are out there for that purpose. I'm non-gay btw and I'm not trying to promote any particular perspective on this and I'm sure there are many Christian groups out there that are non-promotional too that were set up to allow conversations to take place between people who share a common experience. That's very important.
 
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This has helped me overcome many addictions. Maybe it’ll help you too

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
 
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zoidar

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I'm a lesbian and I hate it. I've known since I was like 11. I want to be a Christian and follow Jesus and be celibate so bad but I give in to my flesh and desire every single time it pops up, and the more often it happens the less guilty and concerned I feel.

I'm a virgin (thank God) but I'm scared one day I'm going to give in to my feelings and sin in the worst possible way of this I could. What people say get to me. "You're in denial. You can't run away from this. You can avoid it all you want but you're still a lesbian. You hate yourself. Stop hiding. I feel bad for you. I pity you. You've become just like the homophobes who hurt you, who hurt us. You want it. I know you do. Don't ignore your true feelings."

I hate it. I know it's wrong. But I want it so bad. But I'm losing the conviction of sin. I feel like a ticking time bomb who's going to sin and give up on God. I feel if the temptation was right in front of me right now, and I had an option to say no, I wouldn't say no. I just feel overwhelmed with desire. The more I avoid it the more I want it. The more it festers in me.
But I want to love God. I want to follow Jesus. I'm scared I'm not born again. If I loved Jesus I wouldn't willfully give in to temptations and willfully sin multiple times.

I hate being a homosexual, it's making me hate other homosexuals, sometimes I think about hurting myself or indulging in substances just to deal with the crippling sense of cognitive dissonance. I don't want it to be my identity, but I've thought of myself as "lesbian" for such a long time it's hard to shake off. I hate it. I just want it gone. I want it gone.

It's coming to the uncomfortable question of "if a girl kept pressuring you, flirting with you, or even worse, would you try to flee? or would you give in?" I fear it would be the latter. Because even though I don't want it, my carnal self, my flesh, does.

I don't even feel worthy to repent to God, because I've repented of the same thing tons of times. God isn't fooled by my crap, and it's probably gonna happen again. I hate myself too much to talk to God. He's probably ashamed of me.

And please, I don't want any comments telling me to hold out the hope for a straight marriage and children. I don't want to be married. I don't want kids. I don't want to lose my virginity. I am not attracted to anything about men.

I simply just wish I can be chemically castrated or something. To be removed of all sexual desire. That way I can be a celibate and never deal with same sex temptation ever again. It'll be so much easier to serve God that way. I don't see myself losing faith that way.

I don't know what I'm looking for here. Prayers? comfort? advice? I just hate myself. I want to stop being gay. I want to stop wanting it.

Hi sister,

I understand the enormous burden this is on you. I think the good thing in this is that you don't want to have the desire for women, and God sees your struggle, not only that, He suffers with you. Jesus loves you very much. He would love you as heterosexual and he loves you as homosexual. Don't blame youself for what you are at this moment of life, it's not your doing. We all have things we struggle with, it may be inappropriate contentography or alchohol. No matter the struggle Jesus can set us free. As we struggle we have to remain faithful to Jesus, and fully lay out our heart to him, give our crumb of life to him and trust in his mercy over all else. If it helps we can remind ourselves vocally: "I'm not worthy to belong to you jesus, but I trust in your mercy".

I wish you a merry Christmas! And I'll pray that your burden will be lifted off, sooner and not later and until then that you will stay faithful in Christ Jesus, our Lord. The Lord bless you and keep you! Amen!

/Peter
 
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nolidad

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I'm a lesbian and I hate it. I've known since I was like 11. I want to be a Christian and follow Jesus and be celibate so bad but I give in to my flesh and desire every single time it pops up, and the more often it happens the less guilty and concerned I feel.

I'm a virgin (thank God) but I'm scared one day I'm going to give in to my feelings and sin in the worst possible way of this I could. What people say get to me. "You're in denial. You can't run away from this. You can avoid it all you want but you're still a lesbian. You hate yourself. Stop hiding. I feel bad for you. I pity you. You've become just like the homophobes who hurt you, who hurt us. You want it. I know you do. Don't ignore your true feelings."

I hate it. I know it's wrong. But I want it so bad. But I'm losing the conviction of sin. I feel like a ticking time bomb who's going to sin and give up on God. I feel if the temptation was right in front of me right now, and I had an option to say no, I wouldn't say no. I just feel overwhelmed with desire. The more I avoid it the more I want it. The more it festers in me.
But I want to love God. I want to follow Jesus. I'm scared I'm not born again. If I loved Jesus I wouldn't willfully give in to temptations and willfully sin multiple times.

I hate being a homosexual, it's making me hate other homosexuals, sometimes I think about hurting myself or indulging in substances just to deal with the crippling sense of cognitive dissonance. I don't want it to be my identity, but I've thought of myself as "lesbian" for such a long time it's hard to shake off. I hate it. I just want it gone. I want it gone.

It's coming to the uncomfortable question of "if a girl kept pressuring you, flirting with you, or even worse, would you try to flee? or would you give in?" I fear it would be the latter. Because even though I don't want it, my carnal self, my flesh, does.

I don't even feel worthy to repent to God, because I've repented of the same thing tons of times. God isn't fooled by my crap, and it's probably gonna happen again. I hate myself too much to talk to God. He's probably ashamed of me.

And please, I don't want any comments telling me to hold out the hope for a straight marriage and children. I don't want to be married. I don't want kids. I don't want to lose my virginity. I am not attracted to anything about men.

I simply just wish I can be chemically castrated or something. To be removed of all sexual desire. That way I can be a celibate and never deal with same sex temptation ever again. It'll be so much easier to serve God that way. I don't see myself losing faith that way.

I don't know what I'm looking for here. Prayers? comfort? advice? I just hate myself. I want to stop being gay. I want to stop wanting it.


Hi Sunflower.

While I do not know the depth of temptation you have to endure, I do understand the intensity of the struggle you are going through.

Yes you do have a sexual orientation that God calls abominable. But He loves you despite your orientation. YOU are worthy to repent before God! Jesus made you worthy! It is about the fact that He died and paid for your sins (including Lesbianism).

I am not encouraging yo to sin, but every time you may (hopefully never) just practice 1 John 1:9 and acknowledge your sin before God. He has promised to forgive and cleanse you. And Jesus made it clear there is no limit to the number of times you can go to Him to seek forgiveness.

Also remember that in Hebrews you now have the right to boldly approach th ethrone of God to find grace to help in time of need.

Chemical castration cannot remove the inner desire. Do not despair God is greater than yours or anyones worst weakness.

If you fall- GET UP! Acknowledge your sin and keep walking . Learn Psalm 23! He will lead and guide you if you want it. He knows your heart and the ache inside it.

YOu may never overcome lesbianism. Then celibacy is what you must bear. God will give grace to aid you and allow you. You may or may not be perfect in overcoming. Remember 1 John 1:9.

If he does cleanse you and make you "straight" praise God! If He doesn't? Praise God! In ALL things give thanks, for this is His will for you. I will pray for you . That God lead and guide and comfort you in this terrible storm.

IN Him:

Ron
 
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