Single mum in need of emotional support

HI there

I cannot really say too much to support, since I am over 60 and a fella.
However, I do hear your cry.

I am sure there are others on this forum who are better placed in age and gender to support you.

Hello, Amanda! The thing to do probably would be to explain your situation, etc. on the Requests for Christian Advice forum here. This one here is just for saying 'Hello' as a new member, but that one will get you the audience you are looking for.

Welcome to CF Amanda!

Welcome to CF! I’m sorry to hear about the predicament you’ve been put in. There are many specific forums dedicated to the support you need.
I hope this place helps you find peace and comfort

Amanda1 said:

Hi, i'm 28 and a single mum to my 6 year old son. His dad walked out on us years ago and i'm still heartbroken about it and heartbroken for my son. It hurts me that I have to go through parenthood alone. So I would like to talk to others with similar experiences, to comfort each other. I'm new here so i'm not 100% sure how this works. So please message me if you'd like to talk, even if you're not a single mother. I just need encouragement right now. Thank you

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Hi Amanda and welcome to CF.

I was definitely in your shoes years ago. I was raising my son whose dad would not claim him without a DNA test - which proved he was the father. He left anyway when our little boy was 2 years old.

I was devastated and so lost, but my little son and I were completely rescued when I found a local spirit-filled church. I was so nervous the first time we went, but I heard a message I had never heard before - a message of mercy, grace, and unconditional love.

I began attending every service, and before long I promised God that I would make him my husband - no dating anyone. I said, "It's just you and me, Lord. You are my husband from now on." I spent the next two and a half years as a member of that church; joining classes, attending Joyce Meyer Conferences, and intercessory prayer groups. I spent time lying face down in my bedroom every night and just worshiped God; not asking for anything, I just proclaimed to him how wonderful he was - how grateful I was to be loved by him. I read bible stories to my little boy before bedtime, and at the age of 5, he actually came to me and said that he knew God was calling him to ministry. I was so taken aback by that, but I stayed calm and told him I believed him and that I supported him.

After 2 1/2 years of living this way, I began to long for a human husband. I was afraid to trust my own judgment and so I prayed to the Lord that He would choose for me. Amazingly, young men I had known in my past as friends but had not seen in years, suddenly began to call me. But their lives had not changed at all since we were crazy teenagers, and it was obvious to me that they were the enemy's attempt to get me off course. For the first time in my life, I actually had enough discernment that I saw through them - and one by one I told them not to call me again.

Then an amazing thing happened. A knock on my front door - and a young man from my church whom I had seen there hundreds of times but never spoken to was standing in my doorway. He told me that for some reason I had been on his heart a lot. He had to ask the pastor my name and address and said he wanted to just talk with me and see if I needed any kind of prayer. As we sat drinking coffee and talking, God was telling him that I was to be his wife. He told the Lord "no, she isn't", LOL, but God told him 3 times, "Rowland, this is your wife." A few minutes later, he actually recognized me for the first time. I had known his older sister more than 10 years prior, and on one occasion, our eyes locked and we stared at each other for several seconds but never once had spoken. He told me that he was M___'s little brother, and then my eyes were suddenly opened and I recognized him! Three days later, I heard God speak to my heart and tell me that this man was to be my husband. It was a very emotional moment between myself and God, and later when the young man came over for pie and coffee, he nervously explained that he had to tell me something the Holy Spirit had told him. His face turned red, and he said, "God said that you were going to be my wife." Without a hitch, I said, "I know, He told me the same thing."

That was 28 years ago, and our marriage is still miraculous at times. We are so happy. My son absolutely loves the Lord with all his heart and loves the man I married so much that he says he is the dad God sent him. They speak on the phone almost every other day. To this day, we believe God kept us from recognizing one another the whole 2 1/2 years we attended the same little church of no more than 60 people. God had been preparing us both, you see.

I say all this to tell you that there is one thing which will always work - regardless of the need. And that is by making the Lord Jesus Christ the center of your world... the lover of your soul... your husband, friend, instructor, healer of the heart, counselor, advisor.... just make him everything above and beyond what anyone has been to you. This is a perfect scenario for God to prepare you to receive an amazing life - blessed by amazing friends - perhaps one day to be blessed by a man who loves God with all his heart - who will be an amazing blessing to you and your child. That's between you and the Lord - whatever you might want to happen.

Be encouraged, my sister. The Lord has not missed a single second of your life. He looks at you with so much love and joy because you are so precious to him. He lead you here. He has so much in store for you and your child.

Make Jesus everything - because it is in Jesus that we find everything we could ever need or hope for. He is the door. Make him first in every decision - seek wisdom and godly council from educated and spirit-filled women of God - get involved with a church, with bible classes, and life groups. When you are ready, let the Lord lead you into a bit of ministry. I started in the church nursery; from there, children's Sunday school classes, then youth ministry with my husband, Eventually, I was leading worship in church, pastoring and evangelizing alongside my husband, and was once the keynote speaker at a women's conference.

Finally, surround yourself with people who truly and deeply love you and who make you feel safe and comforted.

Here are a few parts of Isaiah 54 personalized for you. I feel the Lord wants to reach out to you in this way right now.

“Amanda, do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

For your Maker is your husband—
the Lord Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.

The Lord will call you back, Amanda,
as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
only to be rejected,” says your God.

“For a brief moment you were abandoned,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
. . . with everlasting kindness
I will have compassion on you, my Amanda.”
says the Lord your Redeemer.

“To me this is like the days of Noah,
when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you,
never to rebuke you.

Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.


And a part of Isaiah 43

“Amanda, don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you. I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you. When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down. When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead end— Because I am God, your personal God.”


Lord, I pray that You will betroth Amanda to you forever. I ask that she be betrothed to You in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. Hosea 2:19

“Lord, I pray You would declare that Amanda will call You ‘My Husband,’ . . . Hosea 2:16

Father, in Jesus' name I pray for favor upon Amanda and her wonderful, amazing child. Give them both a calling, and lead them in righteousness for your Name's sake. Send friends to minister to them. Protect them and prosper them in Jesus' holy name. Amen.

Joining others in welcoming you. My heart goes out to you. You and your son are in my prayers to our Lord, Hope you find your times here rewarding.

Hi Amanda1,

Welcome to CF. Glad you are here. So sorry to hear your story, that is such a tough situation to go thru. You are strong! Hope you find the support you need here. May you and your son find peace and healing. Take care. Peace, love and blessings to you <3

Welcome sister . Hugs and love

Welcome to CF. I hope your time here is edifying.

I was a single mother. But that wasn't my identity. I didn't join any groups or participate in events or activities for single parents. I never embraced the label. Motherhood is a part of me. But there's a lot more too.

I told myself it happened. Now what? Sorrow and depression won't alter the truth. It doesn't create a healthy environment at home. I needed to show up for my daughter. She needed my presence. Not sadness.

Allowing a ghost to determine today and tomorrow is wrong. He made a choice. All I needed to decide is whether I'd live or exist. I chose life. I was determined to have the life I sought. A great career, good friendships, and companionship. I wasn't giving up.

I decided a long time ago nothing would break my stride. Just like the song. I may hurt and be disappointed. But a TKO? Not on my watch. Never. That assigns too much power and worth to something it doesn't deserve.

Grit is the answer and so is God. You have to decide that failure isn't an option. Nor is hopelessness and apathy. God has a better plan for you. It ain't over. The mountain seems daunting from the bottom. Stop focusing on the summit and challenges of reaching that place. Start walking. A year later you'll see how far you've come.

Your mindset is the difference between a breakdown and a breakthrough. You've paid enough. No more punishment or blame. No more sorrow and self-recrimination. A new day has come.

The Lord said, Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. —Isaiah 43:19

Keep your eyes on the Prize. Not the problem. It's the end that matters most. I've lived it. If you told me then where I'd be today; I wouldn't believe it. All things are possible. We need to get on His page and plug into His frequency. When you see the mundane through holy eyes you step into another realm.

You've been in the valley long enough. The promised land awaits. Come out and walk towards it.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

Hello Amanda,
welcome to CF.

I hope you'll enjoy your stay here.

Hi Amanda, welcome, glad you are here! Single mom life is definitely tough and since you've been at it a while now, it is a great idea to reach out for mutual support and encouragement! Does dad have any interaction with son?

Hi and I hope you enjoy it here.

How can a man walk away from his children that sucks so bad, prayers are with you

Welcome Amanda, God bless you & little one