I'm Crushed..

I just need to type it out. Cuz I don't know how I'm feeling right now. It's a miserable thing when you're hated, despised, and conspired against. And it's because you would not back down from what you know is right.

My head is still spinning. I'm frozen emotionally. Not focusing on God. Don't think I can, at least right now. No peace, just this aimlessly wandering soul. To top it off someone I thought was a friend totally misunderstands me. It's as if they were taken over by aliens or something.

*sigh*

Deamiter and LAWise520, when I first posted I was just not knowing what to do with the tangle of emotions, the hurt, the disillusionment, the anger, and the pain. Frozen and numb, I was unable to pray.

A surprising thing happened. Yesterday I turned on tv. An old timey gospel program was on. Then Ray Boltz sang a song about laying it all down at His feet....being worn and weary and tired of carrying it all alone. A dam broke. Tears flowed. My frozen heart melted. God broke through the frozen dam of my heart. I realized I had been holding tight to that burden. I layed it down. It was like escaping from a heavy chain.

So I go to church. The sermon was about God's glory, of all things. His compassion, loving kindness, tender mercies, mercy, grace, and forgiveness. Forgiveness!

Ok, it was like the refrain from a song in 'The Color Purple'......God is tryin' to tell you sumthin'....God is tryin' to tell you sumthin...right now' ..and I heard Him!

God ministered to me through your words, Deamiter and LAWise520, and through Ray Boltz's song, and then at church yesterday. He enabled me to do something I could have never done in my own strength....forgive the ones who hurt me. I emailed them this morning.

Thank you

God bless each and every one of you. Your posts were as a balm for my weary soul. May God bless each of you richly. And may all the blessings you each endow on others return to you hundred-fold.

You guys rock!!!

i will never forget any of you. Thank you and God bless you. I pray all is well with each of you (((hug)))

1watchman said:

It is so good and uplifting to see one find peace in God in the face of troubles. I pray all will continue well for you. Trust God always for He cares always!

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Thank you 1watchman for your encouraging words. May God bless you.

Northbrook said:

Brinny, the best book on forgiveness I have ever read came out recently (2017). It is called Fire Road: The Napalm Girl's Journey through the Horrors of War to Faith, Forgiveness and Peace. Do you remember the famous Life Magazine photo of the little Vietnamese girl running down a road trying to escape from the napalm dropping down from airplanes overhead? Remember her mouth was open in a scream, and all her clothes had been burned off? Well, the author of this book is the famous "Girl in the Picture" (Life Magazine, 1972, during the Vietnam War). This book, which is available on Amazon.com, is an audiobook of eight audio CD's. In the first two CD's, she talks about her trauma and recovery. THEN, FOR SIX MORE CD'S, she talks about converting to Christianity and reaching a place where she could FORGIVE the napalm bomber who burned her. She even talks about meeting him in person, and how he absolutely broke down in tears when he saw her. As a librarian, I recommend this book.

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Thank you (((hug)))

bèlla said:

I'm sorry to hear you're hurting Brinny. I'm praying for healing and restoration in the barren places and strained connections. Most importantly, I'm asking the Lord to revive your heart and quicken your spirit. *hugs*

Yours in His Service,

~bella

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Thank you so much. The dear ones in this thread are what kept me posting and staying here on CF. Thank you for your kind words and prayer. God bless you. (((hug)))

Tone said:

Brinn Brinn, you're not crushed right now though right?


You know what they say about being crushed right...?

...it's a great time to have some juice!

or is that lemons...and lemonade...?




Yah bless radiant sis.!

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No, I'm not crushed now....I was when I posted this, and the wunnerful people in this thread, and elsewhere on CF, kept me coming back to this site....they were a Godsend for me. I just happened to see something that reminded me about this thread, and so i posted tonight. I will never forget these wunnerful people who picked up my crumpled crushed soul. (((hug)))