The reason I am losing faith is the pain in God’s plan, why does he think more will bring me back?

Questioning Brother said:

I would completely give up the spiritual things to have her healed. They mean very little to me without that.

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That's because you love her... the gift God gave you was the time with her. But all things must come to an end in this world, no one lives forever.

Since you know love, you can also relate to what the Father felt giving His only Son as propitiation for your sins on the cross, and the pain that must have been seeing His Son treated so by evil men... and you can also relate to Jesus' words on the cross - My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?

So you are closer to the cross now than you'll ever be. In this you must pick up your cross and follow Him. This is your burden to bear.

And it's no comfort, so you can be happy for that. There are times in our life we just have to bear our own crosses.

Song playing as I am reading your post "Haven't Seen it Yet.. Danny Gokey". Yeah.. just luck it plays at the same time I am reading your post

He is not against you He IS for you. We must have faith and not doubt. No matter what we see hear and feel.. not matter what happens to so and so. Get His promises and stand. Every promise is YES and AMEN!

Like fear.. you say NO God has not given me the spirit of fear but power and love and a sound mind. You have to put on HIS Armor.. you have HIS joy.. you have HIS peace you are strong in the power of HIS might. Are we seeing a pattern here? Yeah it is ALL HIM!

Have people you know that well stand on the word by faith and not doubt. Doubt stops God.. oh but His compassion is duh like no other. Faith ..something wonderful is about to happen

This is a fallen world and out words that after all this we WILL answer for. So Speak faith. speak His word.. call those things that be not as though they were. We have not because we ask not.. or were asking for personal reasons. What we ask .. make sure it goes in line with the word.

You will have the surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus. In Jesus..
Again.. another "everything little thing.. every little thing is going to be ok" He will work it out for YOUR good. Praise GOD glory to the king of kings and lord of lords.. AWESOME!

Questioning Brother said:

I am losing my faith in Him due to the pain in life. I don’t care whT it is for, and I don’t want ANYTHING that could come out of going through this. I beg for help and prevention of more, and when I do I get a lot of the “be still...” and “ my grace is sufficient “ and “plan for goodness” verses. Those answers are utterly destroying any love, trust, or positive feelings I have for God. If God wants me to come back to Him, why does he think more pain (either He inflicts it, or He allows it, doesn’t matter), wil bring me closer rather than drive me from him and ensure my eternal hatred of Him?

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My brother, I read your heart-breaking post, and it is evident that you have endured suffering. I wanted to give you the answers you seek, but I didn't know how, so I spent about 35 minutes searching and reading christian articles and scriptures - trying to find an answer that does not include "it is for a purpose", "be still...", and so on.

I kept finding the answers you so don't want to hear, so I instead decided to just speak to you from my heart - and trust that God helps me.

I have asked the same questions you ask here - because in my own life I have known great suffering.

While I know this about you and not about me, still, I feel I must share at least a little of why I have asked your questions in my own life.

In the past 10 years, I have experienced

1 Being on life support for 7 days with no hope of recovery until a miracle woke me up.

2 I have experienced 7 major surgeries - one lasted 8 1/2 hours.

3 I have experienced the loss of two sisters, a brother, and both of my parents.

4 I am preparing for my 8th major surgery now.

5 My heart has felt crushed; my body exhausted; my mind questioning. I've felt anger, confusion, and incredible heartache.

6 Throughout my entire childhood (until I left home at 17) I experienced beatings; being thrown across rooms; my head beat into walls; being sexually assaulted by two male members - one was my grandfather; and being told often, "you should never have been born".

Every single person here at CF can write a story of suffering. It is common to every man, woman, and child. But there is a day coming when all pain will be washed away --- there will be no pain of any kind --- every tear will be wiped away, and we shall live like that for eternity --- IF ---- we stay steadfast and true to our faith in Christ through our sufferings here. We will be higher than the angels because of our faith through trials and suffering.

If I say to God, "I am leaving you because you won't remove my pain", then God will say, "That is your choice, my daughter, but you will miss out on so much I have planned for you, and you will not live with me in my kingdom free of pain for eternity".

I hate that you hurt. It pains my own heart for you. YOU ARE BELOVED OF GOD especially if you remain faithful to him when Satan tries to separate you from your Lord through trials and suffering. You only give Satan more power over your life if you leave your Lord. He has promised He will never leave you nor forsake you no matter what. That is His free will... to one day come and get us and reward us with His promises forever, just as it is our free will to accept this eternal paradise of love or to forfeit it for something far more painful than our common sufferings on Earth.

If you hurt - if are abandoned - are physically or emotionally sick - have chronic pain or issues beyond your ability to fix and beyond a doctor's ability to cure.... try to put your thoughts toward saints who RIGHT NOW are imprisoned in other countries simply because they are Christians. Many are martyred even today. They do not say that they no longer believe or love the Lord. They do not renounce Christ even under extreme torture ... they proclaim Christ through every form of torment ... many unto death. Think on the Apostles - all except one is recorded as having been martyred for Christ. One was crucified upside down; one was roasted inside a boar over a fire; one was stoned to death; and on it goes. Their reward is so great in heaven. But suppose they caved under torment and said, "Lord, you must not love me to let me know this pain, so I renounce you and you are my enemy instead of my Friend." What would have been the result in regards to all their years of testimony and preaching and teaching - and of converting thousands to Christ?

I don't want to sound unfeeling. Believe me, I feel the pain that is in your heart, and I want so much for God to work a miracle to remove the suffering. You are loved. You are my brother. Please don't walk away from your family. We need you - your voice - your testimonies - your prayers - your advice - your comfort - your help in interceding for the salvation of our nation in so many ways.

Pull up your bootstraps, Brother. Take the slings and arrows of the enemy as a testament to the fact that you are in the army of the Lord and have known battle. Proudly let your battle scars show so that you can point to them and tell the younger, less experienced soldiers how you got them and how in the end, the enemy was defeated.

It's up to you, Brother. But the body of Christ needs you and loves you.

Questioning Brother said:

You are still talking about a God who does not care what you are going through.

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I know it may be emotionally...satisfying to speak this way of God, but I'm pretty sure you don't really believe, deep down, what you've written here. If you truly believed God didn't care, you'd have left Him behind entirely, never talking or thinking about Him again.

A God who didn't care would not have died for your sins; He wouldn't have made sunsets and sunrises; He wouldn't have made chocolate, or sex, or kittens; He wouldn't have made grand mountain vistas and stunning ocean panoramas; He wouldn't have made you able to love, and laugh, and enjoy the stars and moon overhead at night; a careless God would not have made you able to appreciate the wonder of a towering redwood, or crashing waterfall, or thunderstorm. No, a God who didn't care would have made you an automaton, mindless and disposable, in a world cold, and dark, and featureless.

Pain has the awful effect of sharply narrowing our focus. I know this very well. Pain blots out gratefulness, and thoughtfulness, and joy. It can become all one can see and when it consumes one's focus, it becomes more painful still, feeding off of itself, growing until it engulfs one entirely.

No one, you see, ever eased their pain by fixating on it, becoming blind to all good things as a result. It is foolish to ignore pain, of course, but stewing in it, massaging it, and allowing it to make you bitter and ungrateful creates new pain and forms a dark, unhappy course of life that soon grows out of all proportion to its initial cause. When you sow a wind of bitterness and anger, you will reap a whirlwind of the same.

Questioning Brother said:

A God that it is a waste of time asking for anything, because He is just going to say, “I did everything with Christ, so go away. You couldn’t possibly need anything else AT ALL.”

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I understand your unhappiness is provoking this cartoonish description of God. He answers prayer quite a lot, actually. But not always. He didn't answer His own Son's prayer to be released from the horror of the sacrifice he came to earth to make; He didn't answer Paul's prayer to be relieved of his "thorn in the flesh"; He didn't save Stephen from being stoned to death. But none of these people thought, therefore, that God answered no prayer, that He was uncaring, and cold, always refusing to come to the aid of His children. Such thinking is irrational, it's unreasonable, and simply doesn't comport with reality. God answers prayer all the time. Countless are the stories of His doing so. I see God's answers to my prayers every day, though He hasn't relieved me of my pain and weakness. It doesn't follow that because God hasn't answered some of my prayers that He therefore answers none of them. I'm certain you know this, though your upset and frustration provokes you to say otherwise.

Questioning Brother said:

And if you are unhappy with that answer, you are doubting and headed to Hell. It says to bring Him our requests, indicating he wants us to seek his help. The God you describe must just want to hear us cry so he can laugh.

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Hardly. But He doesn't do as we wish just because we stamp our foot and rage against Him when His answer to our prayer is "No."

Questioning Brother said:

He isn’t going to do a damn thing.

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Nonsense. And shame on you for speaking so ill of God, who in no way deserves your anger and resentment! If there is anyone who doesn't warrant such rudeness and defiance, it is Him, the One who gave you your wife and the many joys you've experienced with her, the One who gave you His only Son, too, in payment of your sin-debt, the One who has given you life, will and thought which you are using to despise Him.

Questioning Brother said:

Actually, I would be FAR more comforted by things being random, rather than the will of someone who makes great and bold claims about His love for me. God talks a good game as they say.


I do hope you get better. Your story doesn’t help me (tales of others’ suffering do nothing for me), but I wouldn’t wish pain on anyone.

There is no meaning to the suffering. Period.


why bother praying? The God you describe doesn’t care and will do what he wants regardless. There is no point to prayer to such a God. The pain is teaching me . It is teaching me He doesn’t care. It is teaching me that He can’t be relied upon in trouble. It is teaching me that He would rather I suffer and hate Him than lift a finger to change it. So don’t suppose that I am not learning from these experiences.

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Romans 8:18 onwards is a good passage to mediate on whenever you see physical suffering.

18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

19 For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.

20 For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope,

21 Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.

22 For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now.

23 And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.

24 For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?

25 But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

Questioning Brother said:

I am losing my faith in Him due to the pain in life. I don’t care whT it is for, and I don’t want ANYTHING that could come out of going through this. I beg for help and prevention of more, and when I do I get a lot of the “be still...” and “ my grace is sufficient “ and “plan for goodness” verses. Those answers are utterly destroying any love, trust, or positive feelings I have for God. If God wants me to come back to Him, why does he think more pain (either He inflicts it, or He allows it, doesn’t matter), wil bring me closer rather than drive me from him and ensure my eternal hatred of Him?

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Until you accept the fact that you are the problem and not God, you will get nowhere. Job whinged and whined for a year. Have you considered that just maybe God is not the cause of the problem? Have you not read that there is a terrible enemy that seeks to devour Christians? You play right into Satan's hands. Satan is the destroyer, not God. If your problems are not being resolved, then you need to humble yourself, quit accusing God, confess your sin and beg for God's help. If it is not forthcoming then there is a good reason. Find out the real reason (the truth may surprise you) and you may be able to do something about it. Judging God as you do is spiritual suicide. It's not helping anyone else in your circle either.

Questioning Brother said:

Actually, I would be FAR more comforted by things being random, rather than the will of someone who makes great and bold claims about His love for me. God talks a good game as they say.


I do hope you get better. Your story doesn’t help me (tales of others’ suffering do nothing for me), but I wouldn’t wish pain on anyone.

There is no meaning to the suffering. Period.


why bother praying? The God you describe doesn’t care and will do what he wants regardless. There is no point to prayer to such a God. The pain is teaching me . It is teaching me He doesn’t care. It is teaching me that He can’t be relied upon in trouble. It is teaching me that He would rather I suffer and hate Him than lift a finger to change it. So don’t suppose that I am not learning from these experiences.

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For what it is worth to you, I agree God is doing this, no matter the means he may be using. You might think he is doing this to you, but he may be doing this IN you. Life in Christ is a serious thing. A lot of clutter needs removed. But first, understand, this life is not about you. It's not even for you, in the final analysis.

God does what he does for his own purposes --not for yours. He is going to accomplish what he began for his own sake. This is where I find my satisfaction. In THIS I have found his love for me.

I'm praying for you, Questioning Brother. I'm praying that God will help you through this time of pain and confusion. I'm praying that God will help you understand...as much as humans are able...His purposes and plans in all things (not just pain). May He give you the answers that you need but most importantly, may he help you experience Himself in a new way. The fact is that God and His ways are hard to understand...sometimes He seems downright cruel. However, He is not cruel, He just sees the big picture in a way we can not. Pain exists and it can be quite baffling to us finite humans but, as He told Paul, His Grace truly is sufficient. I know God loves me and I can't imagine turning my back on Him, no matter how dark things get. He cries with us, He walks through fire with us, He sustains us and makes us stronger.

I hope and pray that this helps. I'm sorry my thoughts aren't more organized.

Questioning Brother said:

I am losing my faith in Him due to the pain in life. I don’t care whT it is for, and I don’t want ANYTHING that could come out of going through this. I beg for help and prevention of more, and when I do I get a lot of the “be still...” and “ my grace is sufficient “ and “plan for goodness” verses. Those answers are utterly destroying any love, trust, or positive feelings I have for God. If God wants me to come back to Him, why does he think more pain (either He inflicts it, or He allows it, doesn’t matter), wil bring me closer rather than drive me from him and ensure my eternal hatred of Him?

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It sounds like you may feel you are a bit of a victim and blame the Lord. It is easy to think that way when troubles come. I urge you to change the way you see your situation. It goes against our nature to not feel sorry for ourselves at time but we are to be different. Christians are not victims no matter what, we are insanely blessed even when we don't feel like it.

Questioning Brother said:

I am losing my faith in Him due to the pain in life. I don’t care whT it is for, and I don’t want ANYTHING that could come out of going through this. I beg for help and prevention of more, and when I do I get a lot of the “be still...” and “ my grace is sufficient “ and “plan for goodness” verses. Those answers are utterly destroying any love, trust, or positive feelings I have for God. If God wants me to come back to Him, why does he think more pain (either He inflicts it, or He allows it, doesn’t matter), wil bring me closer rather than drive me from him and ensure my eternal hatred of Him?

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Ok hear out my little story. There was a man who loved God very much and he always wanted a son. The man became a Pastor and had a large congregation. His wife gave him a son and the Pastor adored him. For his 8th grade graduation the Pastor gave his son an expensive watch and a couple weeks after he got it, a boy named Oscar who was also 15 killed the boy for it. The Pastor was devastated. There was a technicality in the case and the boy walked. The Pastor was furious, justice was not served for his precious son, and he still needed answers. The pastor befriended the boy to find out why he did it. The answer was he needed to buy food for his family. On the Pastors way home, he heard the voice of the Lord tell him to preach to the boy and tell him about Jesus. The Pastor said,' Lord, I cannot. I understand he needed food but I will never see my beloved son on this earth again. That kid is no better than a common murderer and I want to see him pay." The Lord sent an angel to the pastor that night and showed him his son in heaven. He was smiling in gorgeous white garment and having fun, and the Pastor got to hug him. Then the angel showed him Oscar as a man. He was preaching to a large congregation and won many souls for Christ. Then the angel showed him another man. This man was sinning and cursing the Lord and doing crime. He looked disheveled and mean. " Who is this?" Asked the Pastor. " This is your son if he had lived to the age if 28. He got in with bad people and would have went to hell." " How did Oscar change so much to become a Pastor?"" He can only do this if he learns about Jesus from you. " The Pastor then understood Gods mercy. God brought his son home while he was still in Jesus and would be saved. He approached Oscar, and told him who he was and the boy cried uncontrollably and begged for forgiveness and asked him how could he be so nice to him after killing his son. The Pastor told him about Jesus and the rest came true.

Jaxxi said:

Ok hear out my little story. There was a man who loved God very much and he always wanted a son. The man became a Pastor and had a large congregation. His wife gave him a son and the Pastor adored him. For his 8th grade graduation the Pastor gave his son an expensive watch and a couple weeks after he got it, a boy named Oscar who was also 15 killed the boy for it. The Pastor was devastated. There was a technicality in the case and the boy walked. The Pastor was furious, justice was not served for his precious son, and he still needed answers. The pastor befriended the boy to find out why he did it. The answer was he needed to buy food for his family. On the Pastors way home, he heard the voice of the Lord tell him to preach to the boy and tell him about Jesus. The Pastor said,' Lord, I cannot. I understand he needed food but I will never see my beloved son on this earth again. That kid is no better than a common murderer and I want to see him pay." The Lord sent an angel to the pastor that night and showed him his son in heaven. He was smiling in gorgeous white garment and having fun, and the Pastor got to hug him. Then the angel showed him Oscar as a man. He was preaching to a large congregation and won many souls for Christ. Then the angel showed him another man. This man was sinning and cursing the Lord and doing crime. He looked disheveled and mean. " Who is this?" Asked the Pastor. " This is your son if he had lived to the age if 28. He got in with bad people and would have went to hell." " How did Oscar change so much to become a Pastor?"" He can only do this if he learns about Jesus from you. " The Pastor then understood Gods mercy. God brought his son home while he was still in Jesus and would be saved. He approached Oscar, and told him who he was and the boy cried uncontrollably and begged for forgiveness and asked him how could he be so nice to him after killing his son. The Pastor told him about Jesus and the rest came true.

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That does indeed sound like how God can work sometimes. He has our eternal fates to consider, far more important than our brief stay on earth. I doubt he takes any pleasure in it, but He will use and allow terrible things and turn them into eternal good

Questioning Brother said:

YOU are the one saying he doesn’t care about what we are going through.

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But I have not once actually written this. I've said God needs nothing from us, and can't be manipulated by us, but this isn't the same thing as saying He doesn't care about our circumstances.

Questioning Brother said:

This would be preferable to the pain.

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Pain would not be the only thing you would be free of. Mindless automatons feel no love, no joy, no satisfaction, no excitement, no passion. You would be free of pain as an automaton, yes, but also of the affection and friendship of your wife, of the pleasure of a good meal and an excellent joke, of the contentment of a job well done and the peace and comfort of being held in the arms of one who loves you. Pain is only a part of being the person God has made you to be. Don't let it crowd out all of the other good things that are also part of your existence.

Questioning Brother said:

He does answer my prayer (I only really have one , maybe 2 at the outside). The problem is the answers are always, “No.”.

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You only have one or two requests that you've made of God? That's odd. And maybe its also part of the problem. It sounds like God has had little place in your life. Does He have any place? Is God your Heavenly Father? Or just a religious fallback when life gets beyond your control?

God is preparing us all for eternity. What happens after we die is the "Big Show," the "Main Event." It goes on and on, beyond imagining, shrinking to nothing the few moments we exist here on earth. Why, then, live as though now is all there is? God certainly isn't fixing His eyes upon our short time here but is intending to ready us for an eternity with Him.

Imagine standing on the front porch of a mansion that extends upwards and outwards, right and left, beyond your sight. The mansion is stunning in its size and beauty and promises incredible things to those who enter into it. But, there is a time of waiting on the porch before the door to the mansion opens and one can go into the joy and wonder beyond. What a strange thing it would be for those on the porch to begin to think that the porch was the really important thing; that it was all there was and had to be enjoyed to the fullest degree. It would be stranger still if those on the porch began to fear the door that must open to allow them into the mansion, raging against the builder of the mansion for not making it possible for the porch to be enjoyed as much as those on it would wish it to be enjoyed, and not keeping the door closed as long as those on the porch wanted it to be closed.

This is how many - even most - of us think of our lives, and deaths, and the eternity to follow. We've come to see the "porch" of our temporal lives as the important thing rather than the "mansion" of eternal delight (or damnation) soon to open to us. And so, God urges us in His word:

Colossians 3:1-2
1 Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.
2 Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.

Matthew 6:19-20
19 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.
20 "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal;

2 Corinthians 5:1-10
1 For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
2 For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven,
3 inasmuch as we, having put it on, will not be found naked.
4 For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed but to be clothed, so that what is mortal will be swallowed up by life.
5 Now He who prepared us for this very purpose is God, who gave to us the Spirit as a pledge.
6 Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord—
7 for we walk by faith, not by sight—
8 we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord.
9 Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him.
10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.

aiki said:

Imagine standing on the front porch of a mansion that extends upwards and outwards, right and left, beyond your sight. The mansion is stunning in its size and beauty and promises incredible things to those who enter into it. But, there is a time of waiting on the porch before the door to the mansion opens and one can go into the joy and wonder beyond. What a strange thing it would be for those on the porch to begin to think that the porch was the really important thing; that it was all there was and had to be enjoyed to the fullest degree. It would be stranger still if those on the porch began to fear the door that must open to allow them into the mansion, raging against the builder of the mansion for not making it possible for the porch to be enjoyed as much as those on it would wish it to be enjoyed, and not keeping the door closed as long as those on the porch wanted it to be closed.

This is how many - even most - of us think of our lives, and deaths, and the eternity to follow. We've come to see the "porch" of our temporal lives as the important thing rather than the "mansion" of eternal delight (or damnation) soon to open to us. And so, God urges us in His word:

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That is a really good way of putting it

doctorwho29 said:

That does indeed sound like how God can work sometimes. He has our eternal fates to consider, far more important than our brief stay on earth. I doubt he takes any pleasure in it, but He will use and allow terrible things and turn them into eternal good

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Exactly! What a shame if the Pastor had blamed God and cursed Him for what was actually a blessing bestowed on the Pastors son- but he could not see the beauty of what God had actually done through his human pain and limited vision. He only thought of his own pain and what resembled loss. Had he sought justice on his own, he would have interfered with Gods plans for Oscar, and been responsible for all the souls now forever lost that would have been saved through Oscar. Sticking with Gods plan, he could almost rest assured he would spend eternity with his son and that is more important than ANYTHING.

Questioning Brother said:

I would completely give up the spiritual things to have her healed. They mean very little to me without that.

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Jesus said, “He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” (Matthew 10:37).

I think you have your priorities wrong, brother. We are to love God before anything else. Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son Isaac for God. Do you not think such a decision was not painful for him?

Questioning Brother said:

You are still talking about a God who does not care what you are going through. A God that it is a waste of time asking for anything, because He is just going to say, “I did everything with Christ, so go away. You couldn’t possibly need anything else AT ALL.” And if you are unhappy with that answer, you are doubting and headed to Hell. It says to bring Him our requests, indicating he wants us to seek his help. The God you describe must just want to hear us cry so he can laugh. He isn’t going to do a damn thing.

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Jesus (who is God) was whipped, and beaten, and crucified upon the cross (which is more painful and humiliating than you can imagine) because He cares for us. He did this so as to save us from our sins that deserves punishment.

Questioning Brother,

I went back through many of your posts to see if you provided some information about your wife.
But I noticed something: Not a single post you wrote says that you had been praying for your wife to be healed so that SHE no longer suffers; only so YOU no longer suffer.

You keep saying that you're "losing faith", yet you've been saying that for several years. You also revealed that your initial conversion was more about avoiding hell than loving God...that you would prefer material blessings instead of spiritual ones...that you don't really care about other's sufferings, only your own...that you only want to follow God because of what He can do for you. In fact, here's what you wrote that struck me the most:

I want a life of ease, comfort, and stability. Beyond that the only
other thing is to not go to Hell. That is pretty much my main reason
for wanting to be ANY kind of follower of Christ. He is the only way
to avoid it.

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It's funny how you say that the reason you wanted to be a follower of Christ was so you don't go to hell. Do you really believe that Christ doesn't know your true intentions? Do you think that by simply believing that God/Jesus exists is ALL you need to go to Heaven?

You say that you want an easy life. Even if you knew you didn't deserve an easy life, you'd want it anyway, just because you think you should have whatever you want.

I really wonder what your wife wants...

Questioning Brother said:

I will admit one thing. I recently realized that I absolutely detest being comforted when I am upset. It actually angers me when I am upset and people try to give me comforting. That maybe the issue with God as the only “help” he is providing is comforting.

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Then why did you post here?