Give "Bad" Advice (3)

That's the last thing you need. My advice? Quit being so grabby.

On what setting should I have my voltmeter if I want to measure the DC voltage of my truck alternator?

Firstly, remember that the alternator converts to AC, so AC to DC which is a band I think. So music is the food of love, and the purest expression of Love is John 3:16. So set it to 316.

How can I convince everyone that my calculations on the apocalypse are the right ones?

brow beat em over the face with a bible. for extra emphasis, make it a KJV.

make puffy reappear

Why don't you make a family genogram and then you can discover the generational patterns that have you so hung up on puffy.


I need to know where to buy some sturdy caltrops. I'm going to put them all around my garden to keep out interlopers.

Believe everything you read on the Internet.

Petros2015 said:

Believe everything you read on the Internet.

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Hi Petros2015, to play this game, you have to give bad advice to the question above you. After that, ask your own question.

Ah. I use Etsy for all my caltrop needs; you can keep out interlopers while adding a decorative flair.

I'm thinking about proposing to my gf, but can't decide how and when would be appropriate. Any ideas?

^

What are some ways to get in?

Look, last year I found a fat housebreaker in my living room. I pumped him so full of lead, all his clothes were dyed deep scarlet. Must have got in by climbing through the roof. A real sick guy too - about a month later, I found out he had left about a half dozen rotting carcasses up there. So you must check the roof for any weaknesses. You can't be too careful. Afterall, although it was the Christmas season, this thug broke in to my home. So much for peace and goodwill to men. Really, what is the world coming to.

How to keep out the poisonous miasma of disease floating about.

Capture it in a petri dish.

What's a good method of discerning whether or not my neighbours are lunatics?

LaSorcia said:

What's a good method of discerning whether or not my neighbours are lunatics?

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Build a giant 12' papermache moon sculpture in your adjoining yard next to their bedroom window, lit up internally with some of these

Amazon.com : handheld floodlight 10,000 lumen

Record their reactions over several months to see the effect it has on them, don't light it every night, follow a fibonacci sequence as a control for the experiment to take their expectations out of the equation. You should know pretty soon.

I'm trying to plan ahead for the future - any ideas on stock picks?

Buy more cows and don't spend overmuch on a fancy bull.

How can I juggle a busy work and homelife schedule?

make every day a bring your family to work day.

How can this election fiasco end quickly?

By assassinating all involved parties.


Help, the cuckoo in my cuckoo clock has a sore throat!

If the bellows are torn give it some NyQuil and that should fix it.

Where would be a good place to profit off my helpful advice? No offense.

Buy an ad on Christian Forums. All the illustrious members here will then know about your sage advice services.

More importantly, what flavors should I use in my cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving?

Grinded up used face masks would be the perfect flavor for your cranberry sauce. All of your guests will be pleased!

I am exhausted. What could i take that would give me an energy rush?

Green tea! Drink it, have green tea enemas and use a green tea neti pot wash. You'll be flying around the room in no time.


I need to know when enough is enough.

Lord Give Me A Sign said:

Grinded up used face masks would be the perfect flavor for your cranberry sauce. All of your guests will be pleased!

I am exhausted. What could i take that would give me an energy rush?

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Talking of face masks. I found one on the street, saves me paying for one.

LaSorcia said:

I need to know when enough is enough

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When someone spells it enuff.

Every year I plant my Christmas tree on the 6th, but it keeps dying on me.