The Excuse Game

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I'm sorry, I'm not a doctor. I'm not even a Doctor of Philosophy. In particularly, I'm not a metaphysician with a PhD in J.M.E. McTaggart's theory of time, which rejects both A-series and B-series theories of time. If I did have such a PhD, I could give you a note stating that time is an illusion so that you didn't miss a week, you missed a moment, which itself doesn't exist. But, alas.

Would you help me become a doctor, any kind of doctor?
 
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LaSorcia

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Well, you could convert to Catholicism, pick out a dire spiritual problem in the church, write and talk about it extensively, get martyred and then be declared a doctor of the church after some time, but I won't help you do that. I'm too busy.

Let's start a prayer chain.
 
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Quid est Veritas?

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I would, but I am very forgetful, so I keep forgetting to take it off again. Consequently I repeatedly cut off my blood supply to my fingers and had to have them amputated. Alas, I have but one finger left.

Could you type this for me?
 
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I would but I've sworn off all things worthy-of-being-done for the new year. That pretty much limits my options to giving bad advice and making bad excuses.

How can I consistently keep my New Year's resolutions?
 
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Mayflower1

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I would but I've sworn off all things worthy-of-being-done for the new year. That pretty much limits my options to giving bad advice and making bad excuses.

How can I consistently keep my New Year's resolutions?

I can't constantly keep my New Years Resolutions, because I usually dont have a detailed enough plan or motivation to do so.

Can someone watch my kids? Gonna take a nap. ^_^
 
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Mayflower1

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Sorry, I'm legally blind, I can't watch anything. (What the heck is illegally blind, anyway???)

Make a plan, and stick to it.

I can't. Too tired from watching my kids. Lol.

Get a seeing eye dog to watch my kids.
 
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mama2one

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sorry, we stood in super long line & hired last one to watch our kid



since we grabbed last dog sitter, loan me $$$ for all weekend, out of town, over-the-top date with hubby
 
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Mayflower1

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sorry, we stood in super long line & hired last one to watch our kid



since we grabbed last dog sitter, loan me $$$ for all weekend, out of town, over-the-top date with hubby

I think I am allergic to money. I usually spend it right away to get rid of it. So don't have any.

Take this dog. It is beginning to bark incessantly.
 
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Quid est Veritas?

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I keep telling you, that is not a dog with a skin condition, but a rare type of dogwood. That is why it keeps barking.

Do a complicated three car-swop with me, so that I can take one in to be serviced.
 
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Mayflower1

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I keep telling you, that is not a dog with a skin condition, but a rare type of dogwood. That is why it keeps barking.

Do a complicated three car-swop with me, so that I can take one in to be serviced.

(That had me cracking up, lol)

Eh too complicated.

Just wait until one breaks down, then have it towed.
 
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