Hurt Feelings: Just a Rant

Introverted1293

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Jul 22, 2017
2,978
3,071
Washington
✟684,188.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian Seeker
Marital Status
Single
I am not against hurt feelings. I don't see anything wrong with it. But when your hurt feeling flies into a rage, then I have a problem with it. I just saw a video of a teacher beating a student for making a racist comment, and people said that the student deserved it. Let me just tell you that I think that racism is extremely wrong on both sides yes. It doesn't matter if you are white or black. But we should never beat people because they hurt our feelings. There is nothing right about that. The only time we should ever lay our hands on someone is when we are protecting ourselves from danger, and our loved ones from danger. But someone being mean to me or disrespecting me isn't the same as my life being in danger. That teacher went to jail for child abuse and rightfully so. And everyone who said that the kid probably learned his lesson, for he was put in the hospital with miner injuries, may be wrong about that. It sounded like that kid did not like the teacher, and now the teacher would not be able to teach. The kids injuries will heal, but that teacher's life will never be the same. Whether people see it or not that kid overpowered that teacher.

The point that I am making is that when we fly into a rage because our feelings our hurt, we give the other person that hurt our feelings more power. If someone calls me a racist slur, that's okay as long as I am alive. Will it hurt my feeling? Yes. But I can move on and still say God bless you. But people who try to be tough by beating up other people maybe strong physically, but they are weak emotionally.

So what's more important to be strong physically or to be strong emotionally?
 

timothyu

Well-Known Member
Dec 31, 2018
22,437
8,394
up there
✟303,756.00
Country
Canada
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Private
But people who try to be tough by beating up other people maybe strong physically, but they are weak emotionally.
That would apply to bullies also, but then again they are a product of their particular environment and we could have ended up the same under the right (wrong) circumstances, so perhaps they should be forgiven.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

Aaron_Bethlhm

Active Member
Nov 20, 2020
290
101
New Jerusalem (destination)
✟2,224.00
Country
United States
Faith
Anabaptist
Marital Status
Private
Well, I think in Scripture, God Himself says not to associate with a man who flies into rages (or has a bad temper). Very simply don't associate with them, because God says not to.
 
Upvote 0

Introverted1293

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Jul 22, 2017
2,978
3,071
Washington
✟684,188.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian Seeker
Marital Status
Single
Well, I think in Scripture, God Himself says not to associate with a man who flies into rages (or has a bad temper). Very simply don't associate with them, because God says not to.

I did not know that. Thank you
 
Upvote 0

Pavel Mosko

Arch-Dude of the Apostolic
Supporter
Oct 4, 2016
7,236
7,312
56
Boyertown, PA.
✟768,575.00
Country
United States
Faith
Oriental Orthodox
Marital Status
Single
I did not know that. Thank you

Besides that bit of advice from Proverbs there are New Testament examples of that wisdom from both the works of the Flesh, and the fruit of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:19-21
King James Version


19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.



Galatians 5:22-23
New International Version


22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Self control especially is listed but it tends to also relate well to the other ones especially forbearance aka longsuffering, and it hard to image gentle and kind people etc. flying into rages.
 
Upvote 0

Introverted1293

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Jul 22, 2017
2,978
3,071
Washington
✟684,188.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian Seeker
Marital Status
Single
Besides that bit of advice from Proverbs there are New Testament examples of that wisdom from both the works of the Flesh, and the fruit of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:19-21
King James Version


19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.



Galatians 5:22-23
New International Version


22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Self control especially is listed but it tends to also relate well to the other ones especially forbearance aka longsuffering, and it hard to image gentle and kind people etc. flying into rages.

Thank you very much. What you said is actually very helpful.
 
Upvote 0

Sabertooth

Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints!
Supporter
Jul 25, 2005
10,491
7,061
62
Wisconsin
Visit site
✟952,359.00
Country
United States
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
"So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be
  • swift to hear,
  • slow to speak,
  • slow to wrath;
for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." James 1:19-20 NKJV
 
Upvote 0

Monksailor

Adopted child of God.
Supporter
Jul 5, 2017
1,487
909
Port town on west (tan sands) shore line of MI
Visit site
✟187,996.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
I am not against hurt feelings. I don't see anything wrong with it. But when your hurt feeling flies into a rage, then I have a problem with it. I just saw a video of a teacher beating a student for making a racist comment, and people said that the student deserved it. Let me just tell you that I think that racism is extremely wrong on both sides yes. It doesn't matter if you are white or black. But we should never beat people because they hurt our feelings. There is nothing right about that. The only time we should ever lay our hands on someone is when we are protecting ourselves from danger, and our loved ones from danger. But someone being mean to me or disrespecting me isn't the same as my life being in danger. That teacher went to jail for child abuse and rightfully so. And everyone who said that the kid probably learned his lesson, for he was put in the hospital with miner injuries, may be wrong about that. It sounded like that kid did not like the teacher, and now the teacher would not be able to teach. The kids injuries will heal, but that teacher's life will never be the same. Whether people see it or not that kid overpowered that teacher.

The point that I am making is that when we fly into a rage because our feelings our hurt, we give the other person that hurt our feelings more power. If someone calls me a racist slur, that's okay as long as I am alive. Will it hurt my feeling? Yes. But I can move on and still say God bless you. But people who try to be tough by beating up other people maybe strong physically, but they are weak emotionally.

So what's more important to be strong physically or to be strong emotionally?
Fighting over an argument or debate or right or wrong NEVER proves anything but that the one who started it can and loves to fight and if they win that they were at the least no more than lucky.

While the point or reason of the fight goes unaddressed and still there, lying in wait for another to bring up. One can NEVER change truth with a fight. One can NEVER teach another with a fight (unless the debate was over who could fight better or luckier.)

To some, fights of any kind are barbaric; not worthy of any honor. To them, if forced to defend themselves, there is no "code of honor" for fighting. If possible, they will take down the aggressor any way with anything just like a rabid animal.
 
Upvote 0

com7fy8

Well-Known Member
May 22, 2013
13,648
6,107
Massachusetts
✟583,317.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
But when your hurt feeling flies into a rage, then I have a problem with it.
Hi :) It is good to see you :)

"for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." (James 1:20)

If someone calls me a racist slur, that's okay as long as I am alive. Will it hurt my feeling? Yes. But I can move on and still say God bless you.
Very good, that we bless wrong people!
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

com7fy8

Well-Known Member
May 22, 2013
13,648
6,107
Massachusetts
✟583,317.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
If someone calls me a racist slur, that's okay as long as I am alive. Will it hurt my feeling? Yes.
And it hurts me, that someone calls you a racist slur, and I am white.
 
Upvote 0

bèlla

❤️
Supporter
Jan 16, 2019
20,479
17,633
USA
✟933,004.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
In Relationship
Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! Do not let my heart incline to any evil, to busy myself with wicked deeds in company with men who work iniquity, and let me not eat of their delicacies! —Psalm 141:3-4

Anger frequently carries people further than intended. When tempers rise we should step away and address the issue when calmer. For some, upset is a convenient excuse for losing control. When disrespect enters the room the atmosphere changes and the gloves come off.

I have zero tolerance for outbursts and rage. We know how to rein ourselves in when we want to. Abusing the other person is wrong. Whether the assault is verbal or physical. Walking away is best. Some people delight in strife and confusion. They’re prone to fights and drama and are best avoided.

Yours in His Service,

~bella
 
Upvote 0

Tone

"Whenever Thou humblest me, Thou makest me great."
Supporter
Dec 24, 2018
15,128
6,906
California
✟61,140.00
Country
United States
Faith
Messianic
Marital Status
Private
@Introverted1293

I understand your example in the OP is a clear case of bullying and abuse, and I agree that this teacher should deal with consequences.

However, for most other day to day social interactions, I do not think it wise to be on the look out for grievances.

I think that the social climate of today is whipping people up to hypersensitivity. The Word also says that love is not easily provoked and does not keep a record of wrongs.

Overt hostility and physical abuse is one thing. Yes, remove yourself from such a situation and/or have the offender removed.

But, to put aside giving the benefit of doubt... especially on an online forum like the CF, is unnecessary.

Sometimes, how we expect people to be, because we think we know them by reading their testimony or other material here, can skew our view and cause us to project something that may not even be there.

Sometimes things we think were said in anger, may have not been that at all. It could have been the exact opposite...or it's flip side...like trepidation.

Just something to chew on.

*I get misread alot. I think it's something in my tone or the way I carry myself...or maybe just the way I look...

**People get defensive around me...but i'm really a softie..
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Tone

"Whenever Thou humblest me, Thou makest me great."
Supporter
Dec 24, 2018
15,128
6,906
California
✟61,140.00
Country
United States
Faith
Messianic
Marital Status
Private
Well one would assume not to first of all cater to it. Of course these days that would get you cancelled. Not to be associated with common hurt feelings.


Hmmmm, yeah, even Neo had to first unplug...before plugging back in after he was ready to do what must be done.
 
Upvote 0

The happy Objectivist

Well-Known Member
Jul 3, 2020
909
274
56
Center
✟58,419.00
Country
United States
Faith
Atheist
Marital Status
Married
I am not against hurt feelings. I don't see anything wrong with it. But when your hurt feeling flies into a rage, then I have a problem with it. I just saw a video of a teacher beating a student for making a racist comment, and people said that the student deserved it. Let me just tell you that I think that racism is extremely wrong on both sides yes. It doesn't matter if you are white or black. But we should never beat people because they hurt our feelings. There is nothing right about that. The only time we should ever lay our hands on someone is when we are protecting ourselves from danger, and our loved ones from danger. But someone being mean to me or disrespecting me isn't the same as my life being in danger. That teacher went to jail for child abuse and rightfully so. And everyone who said that the kid probably learned his lesson, for he was put in the hospital with miner injuries, may be wrong about that. It sounded like that kid did not like the teacher, and now the teacher would not be able to teach. The kids injuries will heal, but that teacher's life will never be the same. Whether people see it or not that kid overpowered that teacher.

The point that I am making is that when we fly into a rage because our feelings our hurt, we give the other person that hurt our feelings more power. If someone calls me a racist slur, that's okay as long as I am alive. Will it hurt my feeling? Yes. But I can move on and still say God bless you. But people who try to be tough by beating up other people maybe strong physically, but they are weak emotionally.

So what's more important to be strong physically or to be strong emotionally?
We're only going to see more of this unfortunately. Speech is now equated with violence. Say something someone doesn't like and it is now the same as if you have physically attacked them, making violence justified. This is not new but it is getting much worse. Have you heard of all the calls to put Trump supporters into re-education camps? Some suggestions are much worse.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums