How do I defeat constant sexual temptation?

NerdGirl

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Rushing to find a woman to marry just for sex is something I thought believers should avoid.

And if something goes wrong, I have read that divorce is forbidden.
You are correct.

A wife is not for personal sexual release because a man feels horny all the time. A wife is not a blow up doll. A wife is for a lifetime commitment and relationship and partnership.
 
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codyjess

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Do you purposefully keep your eyes off of these women? Do you catch yourself staring at them, or fantasizing about them? Nobody is forcing thoughts into your head.

I look at them when they talk to me.

I don't see any problem with someone relieving sexual tension as long as they aren't engaging in lustful thoughts about other people while doing so.

This is physically possible?

I'd suggest maybe visiting your doctor to have your hormone levels tested, among other things. Such thoughts are not healthy.

Like take testosterone reducing pills or something?
 
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NerdGirl

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I look at them when they talk to me.
I trust you're looking at their faces, not their breasts or butts? When they turn to leave, stop looking. Is there any sort of dress code in your workplace? It might be a topic you tactfully could bring up with your superiors.

This is physically possible?

I'm referring to masturbation.

Like take testosterone reducing pills or something?

Well, I'm certainly no doctor, but there are ways to manage hormone levels if they're abnormal. The starting point would be getting a thorough physical and bloodwork done. If you haven't had a physical in a few years, why not start there? Ask your doctor to check your hormone levels when they check everything else.
 
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aiki

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I am constantly tempted sexually. I pray to the Lord in Jesus name that He take this temptation away from me at least a time... but it never leaves.

Any advice?

I remember as a young man having some serious struggles in this area. Darn hormones! Fortunately, back then, the 'net was not yet a thing and the incredible ease of access to inappropriate content today did not exist. It's much easier to deal with the effects of rising testosterone when you can't find a sea of inappropriate content with just a couple clicks of a mouse.

Anyway, if God answered your prayer and removed all trace of sexual interest from you, what would you be? You'd be free of your struggle with your natural, God-given sexual impulse, yes; but what do we call men who have no sexual interest? Think of the guys who were put in charge of the king's harem. The guys who had their... you-know-what removed. Right: Eunuch. What you're asking God to do is to make you a eunuch. Do you really want Him to answer that prayer?

As well, your prayer - whether you intended it to or not - is asking God to over-ride you in a way a computer programmer might over-ride a computer system. You're basically asking God to treat you like a robot and forcibly "re-write" your sexual "programming." God's primary interest in dealing with you, though, is that you would love Him (Matthew 22:36-38) - because you understand how much He loves you (1 John 4:19). You can't love God when He's made a robot out of you. Your freedom to choose is crucial to your loving God.

For these reasons (and others), God's not going to answer the prayer you've prayed. His way to freedom from sin, sexual or otherwise, is very different from what you've proposed that He do.

Have you ever wondered what's at the bottom of all your sin, what the ultimate source of your sin is? The Bible tells us that our sin comes out of Self - the "old man" the apostle Paul called it (Romans 6:6) - who is self-serving, focused on the here-and-now, moved easily and powerfully by physical impulses (fleshly-minded), and as a result cannot be brought under obedience to God. (See: Romans 8:5-8; Philippians 3:18-19; Galatians 5:19-21, etc.) This was the person you were before you were saved, ruled by the power of the World, the Flesh, and the devil (Ephesians 2:1-3).

One of the things the apostle Paul pointed out in his letter to the Roman church was that the "old man" is incorrigibly selfish and sinful; it can't be improved, it's so bad. God had to do something else with Self, with our "old man," than merely improve him. God's remedy, Paul wrote, was to put him to death. This is the only answer to the problem of sinful Self: death. (See Romans 6:1-11)

God put our "old man" to death by crucifying him with Christ on the cross of Calvary (Galatians 2:20). How, exactly, I don't know; it's a supernatural, spiritual thing God did that I am simply to accept as true, not understand in exact, mechanical detail. Like my salvation. I must believe what the Gospel tells me about my eternal future with God as one of His children. I don't get a sneak-peek into heaven; I have nothing but God's word that tells me the death of Christ perfectly atoned for all my sin. I just have to believe - like I have to believe that I am also "dead unto sin but alive unto God through Christ Jesus." (Romans 6:11)

Paul the apostle wrote that the believer must begin to "reckon," or count on, by faith, that they are free from the power of Self and sin. Not until they do, can they come free of sin as God intends that they should. Paul wasn't kidding when he said that we Christians must "walk by faith, not by sight." (2 Corinthians 5:7) In this business of reckoning ourselves dead to sin, this is exactly what we must do. We won't feel dead to sin; we probably won't be acting like we are; but God says we are, nonetheless. And so, a choice faces every believer at this point: Who or what are you going to believe? Is God right? Or are our feelings and experience more accurate, more true, than what God says? Until the believer trusts in what God says over and above what he might think, or feel, or experience, he won't ever experience the truth of what God has said about him as a "new creature in Christ."

This is what happened to the OT Isrealites. They arrived at the border to the Promised Land and chickened out. God had told them the land was theirs. He had walked them all the way to the land of Canaan, protecting them, leading them supernaturally, providing for their physical needs with manna every day and yet, the Israelites chose instead to trust in what they saw and felt about the inhabitants of the Promised Land. "They've got big cities, and giants, and huge populations!" they said, "We can't take this land." So, they denied what God had said, basically calling God a liar, and retreated from the land "overflowing with milk and honey" God had told them was theirs. (Numbers 13, 14)

Christians often do the very same thing with the spiritual "Promised Land" that is theirs in Jesus. All sorts of things are ours as "new creatures in Christ." One of them is that we have been freed from the power source of our sin: the "old man." But if we don't believe God when He tells us we're free, we do exactly what the Israelites did. And we'll wander in a spiritual wilderness as a result, a wilderness of gray, flat spirituality, regular defeat morally, and no joy in walking with God.

One other thing: Paul in Romans 6 explains about the believer's death to the "old man" and their freedom from sin, but he also spends about half the chapter reminding the Christian that they are also to live as the servants of God that they are as born-again believers. No amount of exercising faith in the truth of one's death to Self will be of any use in overcoming sin when one is not living in moment-by-moment surrender to God (Romans 6:13; Romans 12:1; James 4:7-10; 1 Peter 5:6). The two things - faith in God's promises and submission to Him - go hand-in-hand. A believer "activates" the Holy Spirit in his life as he yields fully to the Spirit's will and way. And it is only as the Spirit transforms him, conforming him to the the divine truth in which he is exercising his faith, that he truly comes free of the person and life he lived before he was saved.

This is God's way to victory over all sin. It's not a quick fix. It requires your entire life to be God's, day-by-day, to do with as He pleases. But in this life there is not only freedom from sin but the incredible joy and peace of fellowship with God.
 
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aiki

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I should point out, as well, that God won't eradicate the sexual impulse He gave you in bringing you free of Self and sin, but He will give you greater desires - desires for Him, for a knowledge and experience of Him, for the wonderful fellowship of walking with Him - than you have for indulging your sexual impulse. As God responds to your surrender to Him by transforming you, you'll find that your desire for Him overtakes all other desires, which has the effect of bringing them under His control. God promises to deal both with our ability and our desire to serve Him. (Philippians 2:13) But His way, not the easy-out, I-can-still-be-self-centered way we might prefer.
 
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Cis.jd

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I am constantly tempted sexually. I pray to the Lord in Jesus name that He take this temptation away from me at least a time... but it never leaves.

Any advice?
How old are you? If you are in your teens or maybe even early 20's you may just have hormones. You'll probably grow out of it.

If you are on the adult side then seek counseling. You may have a sex addiction.
 
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Maria Billingsley

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I am constantly tempted sexually. I pray to the Lord in Jesus name that He take this temptation away from me at least a time... but it never leaves.

Any advice?
Jesus Christ of Nazareth never said we will not be tempted. We are still in the flesh. "The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak". Keep up the good work for not falling into that temptation. Be blessed.
 
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zoidar

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I am constantly tempted sexually. I pray to the Lord in Jesus name that He take this temptation away from me at least a time... but it never leaves.

Any advice?

I think of three things:

1. Don't think you can overcome this by yourself.

2. Give your whole heart to Jesus.

3. Trust in Jesus.
 
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Daniel of Sweden

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Truly I tell you,
From Jesus himself:

Matthew 16:25
"For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it."

You must lose the flesh that you hold dear, and gain new Life by being reborn in the spirit.

That is what it took for me.
All that you want, all the easy roads you must abandon and take the narrow road.

Walk in peace, God be with you and God bless.
 
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codyjess

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I'm referring to masturbation.

I did not know you could touch without lust involved.

Anyway, if God answered your prayer and removed all trace of sexual interest from you, what would you be? You'd be free of your struggle with your natural, God-given sexual impulse, yes; but what do we call men who have no sexual interest? Think of the guys who were put in charge of the king's harem. The guys who had their... you-know-what removed. Right: Eunuch. What you're asking God to do is to make you a eunuch. Do you really want Him to answer that prayer?

If it keeps me out of hell... then yes. To be honest this is really the only sin I cannot seem to conquer. And in my opinion .... since it is natural and constant.... it is the worst one.

God put our "old man" to death by crucifying him with Christ on the cross of Calvary (Galatians 2:20). How, exactly, I don't know; it's a supernatural, spiritual thing God did that I am simply to accept as true, not understand in exact, mechanical detail.

I assumed that when we are born again, that God would kill the old man so that he wouldn't be powerful anymore. Thus my posting here. I guess I'm not saved because the "old man" is very much active and powerful by putting sexual thoughts in my head non stop.

I should point out, as well, that God won't eradicate the sexual impulse He gave you in bringing you free of Self and sin, but He will give you greater desires - desires for Him...

I guess I just need to keep praying for these desires for God.... because the flesh is very much alive and well.
 
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Gregory Thompson

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I am constantly tempted sexually. I pray to the Lord in Jesus name that He take this temptation away from me at least a time... but it never leaves.

Any advice?
It's biological, so you need a supernatural strength in God that surpasses a constant about you.
 
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Brightmoon

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You’re acting like a healthy adult human and you think that’s problem . ( shrug) I don’t know what to tell you. As far as women are concerned as long as you don’t drool on them or otherwise act like a horn dog jerk, I really don’t see the problem
 
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FutureAndAHope

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I am constantly tempted sexually. I pray to the Lord in Jesus name that He take this temptation away from me at least a time... but it never leaves.

Any advice?

Temptation is a mix of our flesh and the devil. The devil likes to inject thoughts, or pictures, into our mind to try to get us to sin.

The bible tells us to "resist the devil and he will flee from you". Resisting is to push against, or force out of our mind the wrong thoughts and images.

When ever we have a negative thought or sinful imagination we are to push it from us. Eventually the devil will tire of being pushed away and will leave you in peace for a time. But temptation may return from time to time.

Be forceful, be strong, be persistent.
 
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aiki

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If it keeps me out of hell... then yes. To be honest this is really the only sin I cannot seem to conquer. And in my opinion .... since it is natural and constant.... it is the worst one.

You've conquered all other sin in your life? Really? If that were true, you'd have conquered this one, too. The sins we struggle with are just symptoms of Self, the "old man," in charge rather than God. If you have conquered sin - I mean, really conquered it in God's way - then you have dealt with the root of your sin and so this struggle with your sexual impulse shouldn't be a struggle.

Codyjess, if you are saved, born-again, you ought to know that God accepts you entirely and only because of what Jesus did for you on the cross. God doesn't accept you as one of His own because of something about you, because you've earned His acceptance somehow; He accepts you only because of what Christ did for you and your faith in him and what he did (Ephesians 2:8-9; Titus 3:5-8). So, your success or failure at living right has no effect whatever upon your relationship with God. Now, your fellowship with God is another matter. Your sin totally screws up really knowing and enjoying God.

I assumed that when we are born again, that God would kill the old man so that he wouldn't be powerful anymore. Thus my posting here. I guess I'm not saved because the "old man" is very much active and powerful by putting sexual thoughts in my head non stop.

I don't know what the deal is, exactly, between you and God. But, being free of any sin requires the same thing: standing by faith on the truth that you are dead to sin, to its power, and living in moment-by-moment surrender to God.

You know, God made us to be conformed to whatever we fix our attention on. Advertising companies make billions every year on the basis of this fact. So, if you're fixing your attention on your sexual impulse, obsessing over your battle with it, then, guess what will shape you? That's right: your sexual impulse. God tells us in His word to focus on Jesus instead. (Hebrews 12:2; 2 Corinthians 3:18)

I guess I just need to keep praying for these desires for God.... because the flesh is very much alive and well.

Um, did you not read my post? You are calling God a liar, just like the Israelites did. God says in His word that, no matter what you feel or experience, you are dead to sin. If you want to live so that you are in your daily experience, you're going to have to start trusting what God has said and standing on it when your sexual impulse takes hold of you, as well as surrendering yourself to the will and way of the Spirit. This is what God has laid out in His word for you to do if you want to be free of any and all sin. Praying as you have isn't ever going to help you. God has told you how to be free; if you won't do what He's said, He's not obliged to do something else instead.

Romans 6:1-14 (NASB)
1 What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase?
2 May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?
3 Or do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death?
4 Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life.
5 For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection,
6 knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin;
7 for he who has died is freed from sin
.
8 Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him,
9 knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, is never to die again; death no longer is master over Him.
10 For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God.
11 Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus.
12 Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts,
13 and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.
14 For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace.
 
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Daniel Martinovich

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I am constantly tempted sexually. I pray to the Lord in Jesus name that He take this temptation away from me at least a time... but it never leaves.

Any advice?
It is actually easier than you think or know or have experienced if your single. If there was k NK ot an easy natural way to do this. God would not demand it. Very simply. Single people must stay sexually inactive. Not do anything that makes them sexually active. Which means not look at the opposite sex. Obviously not look at inappropriate content. If your hoping to get married. Don’t sit there and wonder if this is the one or that is the one. Think of and treat the opposite sex as friends and nothing more. Just commit “the right one” to the Lord at least until you learn to walk upright let in this area. We have a Off and in switch when it comes to this. You simply cannot be sexually actively and have self control at the same time. You need to turn off the switch and not turn it back on till your married. Then you can just leave it on.
 
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Jamdoc

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Are you feeding the tempting thoughts at all?

Do you watch inappropriate contentography? Do you look at adult magazines or other materials? Do you watch TV shows, movies, or music videos with scantily clad women or sexually suggestive material?

We humans are sometimes rather bad at constantly presenting ourselves with tempting things, and then begging God to remove the tempting feelings. We have to take an active role in what we allow into our minds and into our lives.

I apologize for how crude this may sound but sex drive doesn't just go away even with the absence of "stimulating" materials. In the military, especially in boot camp, nobody had access to inappropriate contentography, there were no sexy ads, we didn't watch tv or movies, we didn't even see good looking women, only female recruits with no makeup, bad haircuts, looking just as haggard as we did from sleep deprivation and being rushed everywhere they went. Nobody looked good, there was nothing sexy about any of it... but you know what?
It was an open secret that every male recruit would go off to the bathroom at least once every few weeks at night to "rub one out" simply because they still felt the urge to have to get it out.. or the fear that it'd come out in their sleep (and in that setting you didn't just get to take a shower whenever you wanted and throw your sheets in the laundry).
I don't know how it is for women, but for men... it's a biological need kind of like urinating or defecating. If you don't do it voluntarily it won't outright kill you, but eventually no matter how you try to hold it in, your body will force it out on it's own.
I have no idea how a single Christian man is supposed to deal with this in a Godly way.
I suppose with age that need might go down but. It's a real tyrant of a need.
You get to where you're trying to pray, trying to read the word of God but images are flashing in your brain unbidden that you don't want and you just can't even think when you're looking at about 2 weeks of no release.
Paul of course just said "get married" but that's easier said than done for some people depending on their circumstances.
 
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Jamdoc

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This is physically possible?
It is.. the body will react to physical stimulation even if there's no lust or thought behind it. It's not gratifying or pleasurable really.. but it can be done. It is however, debated as to whether just the act of masturbation itself, disconnecting the usually associated definitely sin things such as lust or inappropriate contentography, is sin by itself. I'm not advising such a thing because it may still be sin. But.. in extenuating circumstances.. it can physically be done.
Like take testosterone reducing pills or something?
I wouldn't advise messing with your hormones. Hormones affect far more than your sex drive, it changes your personality, attitude, and physiology.
Transgendereds go on HRT.. and have the highest suicide rate out of any population as far as I know. It definitely messes up their heads. I wouldn't advise hormone therapies for anyone unless they have abnormally low hormone levels or for something like, a man being castrated for testicular cancer, to keep him being "himself" with normal T levels, or a post menopause or post hysterectomy woman who again, has hormone replacement in order to keep being themselves. Messing with normal levels.. not a good idea.
 
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NerdGirl

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I apologize for how crude this may sound but sex drive doesn't just go away even with the absence of "stimulating" materials.

I know that. I didn't say or imply otherwise. Only that, the more you feed your senses those materials, the worse the struggle will become.

In the military, especially in boot camp, nobody had access to inappropriate contentography, there were no sexy ads, we didn't watch tv or movies, we didn't even see good looking women, only female recruits with no makeup, bad haircuts, looking just as haggard as we did from sleep deprivation and being rushed everywhere they went. Nobody looked good, there was nothing sexy about any of it... but you know what?
It was an open secret that every male recruit would go off to the bathroom at least once every few weeks at night to "rub one out" simply because they still felt the urge to have to get it out.. or the fear that it'd come out in their sleep (and in that setting you didn't just get to take a shower whenever you wanted and throw your sheets in the laundry).
I don't know how it is for women, but for men... it's a biological need kind of like urinating or defecating. If you don't do it voluntarily it won't outright kill you, but eventually no matter how you try to hold it in, your body will force it out on it's own.

I'm well aware of these things. I do understand them. That's why part of my earlier response was asking if he allows himself that relief as needed. But he didn't really answer me.

I have no idea how a single Christian man is supposed to deal with this in a Godly way.

Best to ask God then :) And delve into His word for wisdom and direction. There have been some really good replies with Scripture in this thread.

I suppose with age that need might go down but. It's a real tyrant of a need.
You get to where you're trying to pray, trying to read the word of God but images are flashing in your brain unbidden that you don't want and you just can't even think when you're looking at about 2 weeks of no release.

You need to rebuke those thoughts and get your mind back under your own control. Urges are normal and natural, but if you literally cannot control your thoughts, you might want to seek help from a professional.

Paul of course just said "get married" but that's easier said than done for some people depending on their circumstances.

Paul gave a lot of advice and opinion throughout his writings. Much of it was dependent on the time, culture, and person/church to which he was speaking. Saying "It is better to marry than to burn with lust" doesn't mean "if you're addicted to inappropriate content and can't stop masturbating, just get married". It means that between the two options, marriage is better. Which is pretty obvious :D Not that you should rush from one to the other, like it's a suitable replacement.
 
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