Question to Calvinists

STommy · Nov 17, 2020

(Sorry for the long winded post. Incredibly frustrated right now.)
Hi, I'm an unbeliever. Long story short, at one point I thought I believed in Christ and was even baptised but later on I realized I wasn't saved. I fell into all manner of sin and my heart, over time, grew hard and cold against God. I've been on this site asking questions over the past few weeks in regards to my own salvation. Things like how to feel godly sorrow, repentance, and what faith is and where it comes from. Because I thought, who better to ask about this than some Christians themselves? But a common theme has been occurring in this community that's obvious to even me an unbeliever, and it has been a HUGE stumbling block for me. Its that there are always two sides to the answers I get. A calvinist answer and a what I guess I would call normal answer(idk).
I asked what I could to do be saved and some have to me to repent and believe. Which is what the Bible clearly lays out in the gospels. Concise, simple, and hope filling honestly.
But then calvinists come in and throw a wrench in all of that with the doctrine of election and predestination. That God chose some to be saved and not others. And I'm going to be honest, my soul can't take it anymore. The thought that God may not have chosen me, or those that I care for. The constant questioning of whether I am elect or if I've been predestined to hell. It's maddening.
The Christian community is constantly fighting over this issue in regards to salvation and its been a huge, spirit crippling battle. Who am I to listen to? Some are even so bold as to say calvinism is the gospel. And others completely disagree. Some tell me to throw calvinism out of my mind and others say don't. And its THE most confusing dilemma I've EVER been in. And then when I question the dilemma of predestination the calvinists just say "Who are YOU to QUESTION GOD!?" If I'm predestined to hell or as some may say "Passed over" or "Not chosen by God" then why do I live? What's the point? Only to amass wrath for myself....Why not kill myself now!? Cause if you calvinists really believe what you teach then I couldn't choose God anyway! I can't follow Him! Because He hasn't ordained me to do so! I can't seek him even thought I want to! I can't be saved even thought I want to be! My wants don't matter!? And what about my family!? What about them!?

So to sum up, this question is specifically aimed at Calvinists but I will take answers from all who will listen.

Should I worry about if I am elect or not?

Should I just cry out to God with whatever genuineness I can muster in my sinful, deceitful heart? AND WHAT IF HE WON'T HEAR SINCE HE DOESN'T HEAR THE PROUD OR THE SINNERS? OR THE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T CHOSEN?

My mind is tearing itself apart because of this kind of stuff. I'm literally losing all sense of myself and falling into deeper and deeper sin, despair, hate towards myself and God. Maybe killing myself would be better...

Tree of Life · Nov 17, 2020

Any good Calvinist would tell you that in order to be saved you must repent and believe.

If you hear the word of God and find yourself convicted that you are a sinner and that Jesus is a savior, then this is great evidence that the Holy Spirit is at work in your heart.

As a younger Christian I used to question all the time whether or not I was genuinely saved or genuinely elect. Then a thoughtful Calvinist friend pointed out to me that the fact that I was vexed about this question at all was good evidence that the Spirit was at work in my heart and God’s hand was upon me. The unregenerate and unelect don’t care about whether or not they are saved. They scoff at the idea that they need to be saved. So if you have any fear of God and are concerned about your salvation at all, this is very good news!

Carl Emerson · Nov 17, 2020

God is outside of time...

What is wrong with you believing that He chose you because you chose Him?

You are overthinking it.

Bottom line is - do you give your all to Jesus or not?

Don't let this intellectual game rob you of salvation.

Ask for what you don't have.

Don't have a repentant heart? - ask for it.

Keep it simple.

Read the gospel of John and respond to a Faithful God who loves you more than you will ever know.

STommy · Nov 17, 2020

Carl Emerson said:
God is outside of time...

What is wrong with you believing that He chose you because you chose Him?

You are overthinking it.

Bottom line is - do you give your all to Jesus or not?

Don't let this intellectual game rob you of salvation.

Ask for what you don't have.

Don't have a repentant heart? - ask for it.

Keep it simple.

Read the gospel of John and respond to a Faithful God who loves you more than you will ever know.

I wish I could. It seems so simple. But even prominent preachers like P. Washer, Sproul, and MacArthur tote this kinda stuff. Its just really hard you know? Being bombarded by all these different doctrines that people say "YOU MUST AGREE WITH THIS OR YOUR NOT SAVED."

Jeshu · Nov 17, 2020

STommy said:
Should I worry about if I am elect or not?

Honest my dear fellow you don't know what you are missing. God's love is greatest ever and to be set free from even very hardy sin all because i accept His grace over my life because of my faith in Christ. It is amazing what a God seeking heart receives when they put their faith in God's love as revealed in Scriptures.

Would you like being a child of God? Would you like Jesus as King of your heart? Would you like to believe in the word of God? Would you like to stop your sin because you loved to stop doing them?

All of that dwells in the heart of God's chosen. Those who love sin hate God and would never submit to His reign over their hearts. A rebellious lot those doomed to perish.

Sometimes we are let by wrong for some time thinking it is fun but then in the end when we are all empty of good times and out of pocket then remorse comes welling up in our hearts and we seek a way out of our darkness.

It is then time to say the famous words. LORD PLEASE COME AND SAVE ME! If you recognise this within you then you know the Holy Spirit is dwelling in you and gently pushing you into the right direction.

Faith in Jesus brings us God's loving grace and over time all our good life lost comes back again and He takes out our stony heart and gives us a heart of flesh.

So call upon the Lord to be saved even now.

To Mourn Rightly.
Those who mourn The Wicked often in control,
those ones who have us helpless in our plight,
those ones who devastate our human soul,
those ones who have no regard for right,
those ones who have us in their cruel grip,
those ones who don't love our Lord one bit,
those ones who us of our good life strip,
those ones who cast us in the bottomless pit.
Yet those ones who mourn evil in their heart,
those ones the Lord will grand eternal bliss!
For those ones who in faith from wrong depart,
those ones will be freed with Love's eternal kiss!

Carl Emerson · Nov 17, 2020

Nonsense it is between you and Him.

You wont be able to say at Judgement that So and So said this.

It is not about that - it is about you.

You either give you life to Jesus or you dont.

Everything begins with a child like step.

Your move...

Jeshu · Nov 17, 2020

STommy said:
"YOU MUST AGREE WITH THIS OR YOUR NOT SAVED."

All who call upon The Name of The Lord shall be saved! Practise believing that when you are in need of salvation rather than let theories and teachings of men hinder your walk with God.

Acts 2:21 "And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’"

Union With Christ · Nov 17, 2020

TULIP with Scriptures

disciple Clint · Nov 18, 2020

STommy said:
(Sorry for the long winded post. Incredibly frustrated right now.)
Hi, I'm an unbeliever. Long story short, at one point I thought I believed in Christ and was even baptised but later on I realized I wasn't saved. I fell into all manner of sin and my heart, over time, grew hard and cold against God. I've been on this site asking questions over the past few weeks in regards to my own salvation. Things like how to feel godly sorrow, repentance, and what faith is and where it comes from. Because I thought, who better to ask about this than some Christians themselves? But a common theme has been occurring in this community that's obvious to even me an unbeliever, and it has been a HUGE stumbling block for me. Its that there are always two sides to the answers I get. A calvinist answer and a what I guess I would call normal answer(idk).
I asked what I could to do be saved and some have to me to repent and believe. Which is what the Bible clearly lays out in the gospels. Concise, simple, and hope filling honestly.
But then calvinists come in and throw a wrench in all of that with the doctrine of election and predestination. That God chose some to be saved and not others. And I'm going to be honest, my soul can't take it anymore. The thought that God may not have chosen me, or those that I care for. The constant questioning of whether I am elect or if I've been predestined to hell. It's maddening.
The Christian community is constantly fighting over this issue in regards to salvation and its been a huge, spirit crippling battle. Who am I to listen to? Some are even so bold as to say calvinism is the gospel. And others completely disagree. Some tell me to throw calvinism out of my mind and others say don't. And its THE most confusing dilemma I've EVER been in. And then when I question the dilemma of predestination the calvinists just say "Who are YOU to QUESTION GOD!?" If I'm predestined to hell or as some may say "Passed over" or "Not chosen by God" then why do I live? What's the point? Only to amass wrath for myself....Why not kill myself now!? Cause if you calvinists really believe what you teach then I couldn't choose God anyway! I can't follow Him! Because He hasn't ordained me to do so! I can't seek him even thought I want to! I can't be saved even thought I want to be! My wants don't matter!? And what about my family!? What about them!?

So to sum up, this question is specifically aimed at Calvinists but I will take answers from all who will listen.

Should I worry about if I am elect or not?

Should I just cry out to God with whatever genuineness I can muster in my sinful, deceitful heart? AND WHAT IF HE WON'T HEAR SINCE HE DOESN'T HEAR THE PROUD OR THE SINNERS? OR THE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T CHOSEN?

My mind is tearing itself apart because of this kind of stuff. I'm literally losing all sense of myself and falling into deeper and deeper sin, despair, hate towards myself and God. Maybe killing myself would be better...

Sounds like you have found so very good reasons why you do not want to be a Calvinist. So you have several other options, why not check out a few churches and decide where the Holy Spirit fills your heart. It is not reasonable to decide not to become a Christian just because you do not accept one view of it.

Hazelelponi · Nov 18, 2020

STommy said:
(Sorry for the long winded post. Incredibly frustrated right now.)
Hi, I'm an unbeliever. Long story short, at one point I thought I believed in Christ and was even baptised but later on I realized I wasn't saved. I fell into all manner of sin and my heart, over time, grew hard and cold against God. I've been on this site asking questions over the past few weeks in regards to my own salvation. Things like how to feel godly sorrow, repentance, and what faith is and where it comes from. Because I thought, who better to ask about this than some Christians themselves? But a common theme has been occurring in this community that's obvious to even me an unbeliever, and it has been a HUGE stumbling block for me. Its that there are always two sides to the answers I get. A calvinist answer and a what I guess I would call normal answer(idk).
I asked what I could to do be saved and some have to me to repent and believe. Which is what the Bible clearly lays out in the gospels. Concise, simple, and hope filling honestly.
But then calvinists come in and throw a wrench in all of that with the doctrine of election and predestination. That God chose some to be saved and not others. And I'm going to be honest, my soul can't take it anymore. The thought that God may not have chosen me, or those that I care for. The constant questioning of whether I am elect or if I've been predestined to hell. It's maddening.
The Christian community is constantly fighting over this issue in regards to salvation and its been a huge, spirit crippling battle. Who am I to listen to? Some are even so bold as to say calvinism is the gospel. And others completely disagree. Some tell me to throw calvinism out of my mind and others say don't. And its THE most confusing dilemma I've EVER been in. And then when I question the dilemma of predestination the calvinists just say "Who are YOU to QUESTION GOD!?" If I'm predestined to hell or as some may say "Passed over" or "Not chosen by God" then why do I live? What's the point? Only to amass wrath for myself....Why not kill myself now!? Cause if you calvinists really believe what you teach then I couldn't choose God anyway! I can't follow Him! Because He hasn't ordained me to do so! I can't seek him even thought I want to! I can't be saved even thought I want to be! My wants don't matter!? And what about my family!? What about them!?

So to sum up, this question is specifically aimed at Calvinists but I will take answers from all who will listen.

Should I worry about if I am elect or not?

Should I just cry out to God with whatever genuineness I can muster in my sinful, deceitful heart? AND WHAT IF HE WON'T HEAR SINCE HE DOESN'T HEAR THE PROUD OR THE SINNERS? OR THE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T CHOSEN?

My mind is tearing itself apart because of this kind of stuff. I'm literally losing all sense of myself and falling into deeper and deeper sin, despair, hate towards myself and God. Maybe killing myself would be better...

No you shouldn't worry about whether or not your predestined.

Calvinists believe two things, salvation can't be lost and that ALL who believe have been predestined to do so.

When it comes to salvation Scripture is clear. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that He is raised from the dead you will be saved. (Romans 10:9)

Its amazingly simple... Jesus said that all who are drawn to Him and drawn by God, so if you feel drawn to believe that drawing comes from God, and Jesus won't lose you.

Don't allow arguments about this minute point or that confuse you. What I've here written IS what Calvinists believe (I'm a Calvinist so I know this), and its all from scripture, and it need not be more complicated than that.

Hazelelponi · Nov 18, 2020

STommy said:
I wish I could. It seems so simple. But even prominent preachers like P. Washer, Sproul, and MacArthur tote this kinda stuff. Its just really hard you know? Being bombarded by all these different doctrines that people say "YOU MUST AGREE WITH THIS OR YOUR NOT SAVED."

So don't worry about doctrine. All that kind of stuff is what you'll work out later, after your saved... not before.

For now, just find a good church that you feel ministers to you for now... visit several in your area without worry, then pick the one you enjoyed going to most.

Don't complicate the uncomplicated. Later on, as you grow in Christ, your understanding of doctrine may change, but for now, very little matters outside of what I've spoken of. Just find a church family, and believe in and confess Christ.

STommy · Nov 18, 2020

Hazelelponi said:
No you shouldn't worry about whether or not your predestined.

Calvinists believe two things, salvation can't be lost and that ALL who believe have been predestined to do so.

When it comes to salvation Scripture is clear. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that He is raised from the dead you will be saved. (Romans 10:9)

Its amazingly simple... Jesus said that all who are drawn to Him and drawn by God, so if you feel drawn to believe that drawing comes from God, and Jesus won't lose you.

Don't allow arguments about this minute point or that confuse you. What I've here written IS what Calvinists believe (I'm a Calvinist so I know this), and its all from scripture, and it need not be more complicated than that.

But what if God doesn't want me to believe or won't let me. Because that's what these calvinists have preached. That God just won't let some believe. He just leaves them to die. That's terrifying. What if I have been abandoned to my sins as well? Or what if my confession of faith is a false confession AGAIN?

Hazelelponi · Nov 18, 2020

STommy said:
But what if God doesn't want me to believe or won't let me. Because that's what these calvinists have preached. That God just won't let some believe. He just leaves them to die. That's terrifying. What if I have been abandoned to my sins as well? Or what if my confession of faith is a false confession AGAIN?

If God was abandoning you, you wouldn't be here now wanting to know how to be saved.

So confess with your mouth that Christ is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead...

He doesn't leave you without help... place your trust in Him and His love for you...

(Read my next post. I'm splitting them up for a reason.)

Hazelelponi · Nov 18, 2020

STommy said:
what if my confession of faith is a false confession AGAIN?

How do you know that your confession was false?

Because you later questioned? How do you know God wasn't there guiding you through that time, in order to bring you back now, even stronger?

God doesn't abandon us... even if it seems we abandon Him. He is Faithful, even when we are not.

Come home.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

Perhaps the most important lesson you need to learn, is that we aren't here saving ourselves, but rather, it is Jesus who saves us.

Anything that follows is out of a heart who loves Him for that.. perhaps that's the part your missing.. that realization.

Your salvation doesn't rest in the sincerity of a confession, or your works, but in the person and work of the Christ, Jesus, who saves you.

When you understand that, the rest falls into place.

STommy · Nov 18, 2020

Hazelelponi said:
How do you know that your confession was false?

Because you later questioned? How do you know God wasn't there guiding you through that time, in order to bring you back now, even stronger?

God doesn't abandon us... even if it seems we abandon Him. He is Faithful, even when we are not.

Come home.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

Perhaps the most important lesson you need to learn, is that we aren't here saving ourselves, but rather, it is Jesus who saves us.

Anything that follows is out of a heart who loves Him for that.. perhaps that's the part your missing.. that realization.

Your salvation doesn't rest in the sincerity of a confession, or your works, but in the person and work of the Christ, Jesus, who saves you.

When you understand that, the rest falls into place.

Well you have definitely calmed my mind a little. Thank you. I'll try to focus on Christ from now on.

Hazelelponi · Nov 18, 2020

STommy said:
Well you have definitely calmed my mind a little. Thank you. I'll try to focus on Christ from now on.

Pray Psalms 51:10 - you'll find it helpful.

UnpopularOpinion · Nov 18, 2020

STommy said:
(Sorry for the long winded post. Incredibly frustrated right now.)
Hi, I'm an unbeliever. Long story short, at one point I thought I believed in Christ and was even baptised but later on I realized I wasn't saved. I fell into all manner of sin and my heart, over time, grew hard and cold against God. I've been on this site asking questions over the past few weeks in regards to my own salvation. Things like how to feel godly sorrow, repentance, and what faith is and where it comes from. Because I thought, who better to ask about this than some Christians themselves? But a common theme has been occurring in this community that's obvious to even me an unbeliever, and it has been a HUGE stumbling block for me. Its that there are always two sides to the answers I get. A calvinist answer and a what I guess I would call normal answer(idk).
I asked what I could to do be saved and some have to me to repent and believe. Which is what the Bible clearly lays out in the gospels. Concise, simple, and hope filling honestly.
But then calvinists come in and throw a wrench in all of that with the doctrine of election and predestination. That God chose some to be saved and not others. And I'm going to be honest, my soul can't take it anymore. The thought that God may not have chosen me, or those that I care for. The constant questioning of whether I am elect or if I've been predestined to hell. It's maddening.
The Christian community is constantly fighting over this issue in regards to salvation and its been a huge, spirit crippling battle. Who am I to listen to? Some are even so bold as to say calvinism is the gospel. And others completely disagree. Some tell me to throw calvinism out of my mind and others say don't. And its THE most confusing dilemma I've EVER been in. And then when I question the dilemma of predestination the calvinists just say "Who are YOU to QUESTION GOD!?" If I'm predestined to hell or as some may say "Passed over" or "Not chosen by God" then why do I live? What's the point? Only to amass wrath for myself....Why not kill myself now!? Cause if you calvinists really believe what you teach then I couldn't choose God anyway! I can't follow Him! Because He hasn't ordained me to do so! I can't seek him even thought I want to! I can't be saved even thought I want to be! My wants don't matter!? And what about my family!? What about them!?

So to sum up, this question is specifically aimed at Calvinists but I will take answers from all who will listen.

Should I worry about if I am elect or not?

Should I just cry out to God with whatever genuineness I can muster in my sinful, deceitful heart? AND WHAT IF HE WON'T HEAR SINCE HE DOESN'T HEAR THE PROUD OR THE SINNERS? OR THE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T CHOSEN?

My mind is tearing itself apart because of this kind of stuff. I'm literally losing all sense of myself and falling into deeper and deeper sin, despair, hate towards myself and God. Maybe killing myself would be better...

1.If you think about being saved or are scared if you were or not then you alredy are being called because it's Holy Spirit convincing you of your sins.

2.Ok next thing you need to understand that salvation is free gift Ephesians 2:8-9 and if you believe you get SEALED untill day of redemption Ephesians 1:13-14 , gospel is 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 .
That Christ died fullfilling Old Testament prophecy , giving us proof that he was the promissed Messiah and that God can know future from beginning and did not lie , validated the all redeption thing.

3.If you accept it then you're sealed with Holy Spirit.
4.You don't have to do anything after that to keep being sealed , literally anything , you can even kill yourself and go to heaven. If you could lose then it couldn't be eternal in first place get it ?

Salvation is not hard , its actually simplest thing ever , people love to confuse things with wickedness of their own heart or to satisfy their own heart desires add things to it.

About Elected , yes God elect people , you still have free will .
God just Elected you to become alive and be born again by knowing that if he let's you to be born you would freely choose him with your free will.
Like imagine you have two sperms cells , God knows one will be believer and other not , just won't let unbeliever in this time at that situation get to the egg before believer . God closes and opens wombs of woman.

so thats election
Calling is when he sends Holy Spirit to convince you of sin ( your current situation) and to get saved gives you preacher , gospel of salvation at appointed time he called you.
Like he will not call you at 1 year old cuz you can't understand the gospel at that time.

Thats why Elected people are given angels for protection so they can get alive untill the calling while unbelievers don't .

eleos1954 · Nov 18, 2020

STommy said:
(Sorry for the long winded post. Incredibly frustrated right now.)
Hi, I'm an unbeliever. Long story short, at one point I thought I believed in Christ and was even baptised but later on I realized I wasn't saved. I fell into all manner of sin and my heart, over time, grew hard and cold against God. I've been on this site asking questions over the past few weeks in regards to my own salvation. Things like how to feel godly sorrow, repentance, and what faith is and where it comes from. Because I thought, who better to ask about this than some Christians themselves? But a common theme has been occurring in this community that's obvious to even me an unbeliever, and it has been a HUGE stumbling block for me. Its that there are always two sides to the answers I get. A calvinist answer and a what I guess I would call normal answer(idk).
I asked what I could to do be saved and some have to me to repent and believe. Which is what the Bible clearly lays out in the gospels. Concise, simple, and hope filling honestly.
But then calvinists come in and throw a wrench in all of that with the doctrine of election and predestination. That God chose some to be saved and not others. And I'm going to be honest, my soul can't take it anymore. The thought that God may not have chosen me, or those that I care for. The constant questioning of whether I am elect or if I've been predestined to hell. It's maddening.
The Christian community is constantly fighting over this issue in regards to salvation and its been a huge, spirit crippling battle. Who am I to listen to? Some are even so bold as to say calvinism is the gospel. And others completely disagree. Some tell me to throw calvinism out of my mind and others say don't. And its THE most confusing dilemma I've EVER been in. And then when I question the dilemma of predestination the calvinists just say "Who are YOU to QUESTION GOD!?" If I'm predestined to hell or as some may say "Passed over" or "Not chosen by God" then why do I live? What's the point? Only to amass wrath for myself....Why not kill myself now!? Cause if you calvinists really believe what you teach then I couldn't choose God anyway! I can't follow Him! Because He hasn't ordained me to do so! I can't seek him even thought I want to! I can't be saved even thought I want to be! My wants don't matter!? And what about my family!? What about them!?

So to sum up, this question is specifically aimed at Calvinists but I will take answers from all who will listen.

Should I worry about if I am elect or not?

Should I just cry out to God with whatever genuineness I can muster in my sinful, deceitful heart? AND WHAT IF HE WON'T HEAR SINCE HE DOESN'T HEAR THE PROUD OR THE SINNERS? OR THE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T CHOSEN?

My mind is tearing itself apart because of this kind of stuff. I'm literally losing all sense of myself and falling into deeper and deeper sin, despair, hate towards myself and God. Maybe killing myself would be better...

Whenever the Bible mentions predestination, it is always predestination to be saved. The Bible nowhere teaches that God has preordained or predestined anyone to be lost.

“Look to Me, and be saved, All you ends of the earth! Isaiah 45:22 NKJV

For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved…1 Timothy 2:4 NKJV

“All” has to mean “all.” If God wants all humankind to be saved, that has to mean that He does not want anyone to be lost. Therefore He has not chosen or predestined anyone to be lost.

For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Romans 8:29
having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself…Ephesians 1:5 NKJV

These and Romans 8:30 are the only times predestination is mentioned in the NKJV.

God’s predestination always leads to salvation. Nowhere does the Bible teach that anyone is predestined to be lost. Some people reason within themselves, independently from Scripture, that since God knows who is going to be lost, that takes free choice away. But Scripture teaches we are all predestined to be saved. Therefore the only way to be lost is by using our God-given free choice to be lost.

Backsliding is not unusual .... satan never gives up .... it's a never ending battle with him.

How many times will God forgive? more times than we are to forgive one another ...

In Matthew, Jesus says that we should forgive each other “seventy times seven times” (Matthew 18:22), a number that symbolizes boundlessness.

Concentrate on the love of God and rest in Him. You ARE going to mess up here and there .... when you do ... return to Him, ask Him to help you overcome your sin.

May the Lord bring you peace to your mind. In Jesus name, AMEN.

Philippians 1:6

New Living Translation
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

TheWordIsOne101 · Nov 23, 2020

STommy said:
(Sorry for the long winded post. Incredibly frustrated right now.)
Hi, I'm an unbeliever. Long story short, at one point I thought I believed in Christ and was even baptised but later on I realized I wasn't saved. I fell into all manner of sin and my heart, over time, grew hard and cold against God. I've been on this site asking questions over the past few weeks in regards to my own salvation. Things like how to feel godly sorrow, repentance, and what faith is and where it comes from. Because I thought, who better to ask about this than some Christians themselves? But a common theme has been occurring in this community that's obvious to even me an unbeliever, and it has been a HUGE stumbling block for me. Its that there are always two sides to the answers I get. A calvinist answer and a what I guess I would call normal answer(idk).
I asked what I could to do be saved and some have to me to repent and believe. Which is what the Bible clearly lays out in the gospels. Concise, simple, and hope filling honestly.
But then calvinists come in and throw a wrench in all of that with the doctrine of election and predestination. That God chose some to be saved and not others. And I'm going to be honest, my soul can't take it anymore. The thought that God may not have chosen me, or those that I care for. The constant questioning of whether I am elect or if I've been predestined to hell. It's maddening.
The Christian community is constantly fighting over this issue in regards to salvation and its been a huge, spirit crippling battle. Who am I to listen to? Some are even so bold as to say calvinism is the gospel. And others completely disagree. Some tell me to throw calvinism out of my mind and others say don't. And its THE most confusing dilemma I've EVER been in. And then when I question the dilemma of predestination the calvinists just say "Who are YOU to QUESTION GOD!?" If I'm predestined to hell or as some may say "Passed over" or "Not chosen by God" then why do I live? What's the point? Only to amass wrath for myself....Why not kill myself now!? Cause if you calvinists really believe what you teach then I couldn't choose God anyway! I can't follow Him! Because He hasn't ordained me to do so! I can't seek him even thought I want to! I can't be saved even thought I want to be! My wants don't matter!? And what about my family!? What about them!?

So to sum up, this question is specifically aimed at Calvinists but I will take answers from all who will listen.

Should I worry about if I am elect or not?

Should I just cry out to God with whatever genuineness I can muster in my sinful, deceitful heart? AND WHAT IF HE WON'T HEAR SINCE HE DOESN'T HEAR THE PROUD OR THE SINNERS? OR THE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T CHOSEN?

My mind is tearing itself apart because of this kind of stuff. I'm literally losing all sense of myself and falling into deeper and deeper sin, despair, hate towards myself and God. Maybe killing myself would be better...

The Problem

Matthew 13:1-9 (NKJV)
On the same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the sea.
And great multitudes were gathered together to Him so that He got into a boat and Sat and the whole multitude stood on the shore.
Then He spoke many things to them in parables, saying: "Behold, a sower went out to sow.
And as he sowed, some the seed fell by the wayside; and the birds came and devoured them.
Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth.
But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away.
And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up and choked them.
But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.
He who has ears to hear, let him hear!"

Matthew 13:18-23 (NKJV) "Therefore hear the parable of the sower:
When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, then the wicked one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart? This is he who received seed by the wayside.
But he who received the seed on stony places, this is he who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy;
yet he has no root in himself but endures only for a while. For when tribulation or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he stumbles.
Now he who received seed among the thorns is he who hears the word, and the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word and he becomes unfruitful.
But he who received seed on the good ground is he who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and produces: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty."

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