- Oct 12, 2020
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(Sorry for the long winded post. Incredibly frustrated right now.)
Hi, I'm an unbeliever. Long story short, at one point I thought I believed in Christ and was even baptised but later on I realized I wasn't saved. I fell into all manner of sin and my heart, over time, grew hard and cold against God. I've been on this site asking questions over the past few weeks in regards to my own salvation. Things like how to feel godly sorrow, repentance, and what faith is and where it comes from. Because I thought, who better to ask about this than some Christians themselves? But a common theme has been occurring in this community that's obvious to even me an unbeliever, and it has been a HUGE stumbling block for me. Its that there are always two sides to the answers I get. A calvinist answer and a what I guess I would call normal answer(idk).
I asked what I could to do be saved and some have to me to repent and believe. Which is what the Bible clearly lays out in the gospels. Concise, simple, and hope filling honestly.
But then calvinists come in and throw a wrench in all of that with the doctrine of election and predestination. That God chose some to be saved and not others. And I'm going to be honest, my soul can't take it anymore. The thought that God may not have chosen me, or those that I care for. The constant questioning of whether I am elect or if I've been predestined to hell. It's maddening.
The Christian community is constantly fighting over this issue in regards to salvation and its been a huge, spirit crippling battle. Who am I to listen to? Some are even so bold as to say calvinism is the gospel. And others completely disagree. Some tell me to throw calvinism out of my mind and others say don't. And its THE most confusing dilemma I've EVER been in. And then when I question the dilemma of predestination the calvinists just say "Who are YOU to QUESTION GOD!?" If I'm predestined to hell or as some may say "Passed over" or "Not chosen by God" then why do I live? What's the point? Only to amass wrath for myself....Why not kill myself now!? Cause if you calvinists really believe what you teach then I couldn't choose God anyway! I can't follow Him! Because He hasn't ordained me to do so! I can't seek him even thought I want to! I can't be saved even thought I want to be! My wants don't matter!? And what about my family!? What about them!?
So to sum up, this question is specifically aimed at Calvinists but I will take answers from all who will listen.
Should I worry about if I am elect or not?
Should I just cry out to God with whatever genuineness I can muster in my sinful, deceitful heart? AND WHAT IF HE WON'T HEAR SINCE HE DOESN'T HEAR THE PROUD OR THE SINNERS? OR THE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T CHOSEN?
My mind is tearing itself apart because of this kind of stuff. I'm literally losing all sense of myself and falling into deeper and deeper sin, despair, hate towards myself and God. Maybe killing myself would be better...
Hi, I'm an unbeliever. Long story short, at one point I thought I believed in Christ and was even baptised but later on I realized I wasn't saved. I fell into all manner of sin and my heart, over time, grew hard and cold against God. I've been on this site asking questions over the past few weeks in regards to my own salvation. Things like how to feel godly sorrow, repentance, and what faith is and where it comes from. Because I thought, who better to ask about this than some Christians themselves? But a common theme has been occurring in this community that's obvious to even me an unbeliever, and it has been a HUGE stumbling block for me. Its that there are always two sides to the answers I get. A calvinist answer and a what I guess I would call normal answer(idk).
I asked what I could to do be saved and some have to me to repent and believe. Which is what the Bible clearly lays out in the gospels. Concise, simple, and hope filling honestly.
But then calvinists come in and throw a wrench in all of that with the doctrine of election and predestination. That God chose some to be saved and not others. And I'm going to be honest, my soul can't take it anymore. The thought that God may not have chosen me, or those that I care for. The constant questioning of whether I am elect or if I've been predestined to hell. It's maddening.
The Christian community is constantly fighting over this issue in regards to salvation and its been a huge, spirit crippling battle. Who am I to listen to? Some are even so bold as to say calvinism is the gospel. And others completely disagree. Some tell me to throw calvinism out of my mind and others say don't. And its THE most confusing dilemma I've EVER been in. And then when I question the dilemma of predestination the calvinists just say "Who are YOU to QUESTION GOD!?" If I'm predestined to hell or as some may say "Passed over" or "Not chosen by God" then why do I live? What's the point? Only to amass wrath for myself....Why not kill myself now!? Cause if you calvinists really believe what you teach then I couldn't choose God anyway! I can't follow Him! Because He hasn't ordained me to do so! I can't seek him even thought I want to! I can't be saved even thought I want to be! My wants don't matter!? And what about my family!? What about them!?
So to sum up, this question is specifically aimed at Calvinists but I will take answers from all who will listen.
Should I worry about if I am elect or not?
Should I just cry out to God with whatever genuineness I can muster in my sinful, deceitful heart? AND WHAT IF HE WON'T HEAR SINCE HE DOESN'T HEAR THE PROUD OR THE SINNERS? OR THE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T CHOSEN?
My mind is tearing itself apart because of this kind of stuff. I'm literally losing all sense of myself and falling into deeper and deeper sin, despair, hate towards myself and God. Maybe killing myself would be better...