Should I start looking for a different church ?

HappyHope · Nov 13, 2020

Jetma1572 said:
I take my walk with God very seriously that's why I'm reaching out and asking for advice I'm not trying to treat this like im shopping at a " supermarket" there is good to the church and that's why I'm so indecisive about leaving and I'm not trying to whine because somebody doesn't like me I'm no better then them and they aren't of me, we are all children of God I just wanted to seek some advice and suggestions. I've tried talking to them being involved in ministry and asking to serve but it seems like I'm pushed away on that I don't want to just leave when things get difficult but I also don't want to be treated like we don't belong either. I want there to be some growth in a church where I could eventually help serve in the church but if I'm ignored how can I ? how am I treating them badly exactly if I'm trying my best to love and appreciate them and get involved ?

I doubt the problem it you if you have tried getting involved to no avail. I was mildly unscheduled for children’s ministries at one church. It made no sense to me. My education is in Christian ministry. My experience is in Christian homeschool, Sunday School teaching, and online ESL tutoring. I couldn’t believe them. I woke up early and stayed up late preparing for children’s church. I love love loved it. So much joy then suddenly lame flattery when I asked what was up. And I couldn’t move up the chain to address it. My coworker was the pastor’s cousin. The pastor’s wife was head of children’s ministry and the head elder was the pastor’s father. No way was I about to pit family against each other, so I left that church.To this day I am still at a loss as to what happened. Sometimes you never know where the breakdown is for sure.

HappyHope · Nov 13, 2020

Jetma1572 said:
No I understand your intent of giving me some good advice I apologize if I took that in the wrong context earlier I just didn't want to come across as I'm not trying in my church. But I agree with you here I'm called to serve Christ not myself and what you said about treating these 30 year olds with the Love of God is something I wasn't fully doing and thank you for pointing that out because I didn't realize I was so concerned with having them desire to accept me that I lost sight of how to treat them with the love of God like telling them I'd pray for them and showing them grace and joy . Ill be a shining light of Christ next time I see them and ill keep my focus on Christ instead of focusing on things that are really out of my control. Thank you for your reply and helping me see this

You have a very good heart. Love your reply.

Brian Mcnamee · Nov 13, 2020

Jetma1572 said:
Hey I've been a Christian for a year and a half now and I've been feeling like I'm in a rut like I'm just stuck lately about attending the same church I've been going to , I have been at this same church since I joined nearly 2 years ago and I used to really enjoy it , but I've always felt out of place at it with people my own age it didn't bother me then like it does now and I'm not even sure why it does but it just hurts they make me feel like I'm not good enough or I'm not a good enough Christian. some of the older people are very nice and respectful when I attend but the people around my age (30) won't even acknowledge me , they are all pretty close together either related or growing up together . I've tried to reach out and go to events with my kids that they run and its the same thing, my husband, kids and I are just left to the side and I don't know if its because we are new or if its something we did. they do dress differently then us in the ways of the woman wear skirts and dresses and have long hair and I don't but this shouldn't be why right? but it would be a sad reason to me if this was the case.
I keep telling myself it shouldn't matter, I go to church not for others but for God its just I want to feel like I'm apart of the church, be apart of fellowship , but I see no growth anytime soon . and I want my husband and kids to feel apart of it also. my husband feels the same way I do he has gone to BBQS and other events that they have held and feels left out . I don't know if I should bring this up to my pastor or just leave it because this may not even be a big deal , but I have for the last couple of weeks just haven't attended church in person just have done it online, I'm wondering if I should just search for another church or maybe even considered online church . I've Prayed and Prayed about this and I feel like taking a break is the answer just for a little , just spend time with God on my own , read the scriptures and prayer and worship music. I just want to know if anyone was in this situation or knows of a situation like this and what they did , just looking for advice thank you so much for reading .

Hi It is a bit tough being the new one and if you are in a group that has a lot of life long friends together they are already tight and I'm sure they are not intentionally shunning you but they are probably a bit clueless about including new people into their established circles. I think if you plan on staying the best way to make inroads is to start serving in the children's ministry. My wife and I moved 500 miles away and joined a new church and she started volunteering with the kids. Soon she knew the kids by name and they knew her she got to meet the parents when they dropped off and picked up and 10 years later she is well acquainted with so many families having seen many brothers and sisters going through there and now she knows a lot of the parents and all too.

Jetma1572 · Nov 14, 2020

HappyHope said:
You have a very good heart. Love your reply.

thank you <3

Jetma1572 · Nov 14, 2020

HappyHope said:
I doubt the problem it you if you have tried getting involved to no avail. I was mildly unscheduled for children’s ministries at one church. It made no sense to me. My education is in Christian ministry. My experience is in Christian homeschool, Sunday School teaching, and online ESL tutoring. I couldn’t believe them. I woke up early and stayed up late preparing for children’s church. I love love loved it. So much joy then suddenly lame flattery when I asked what was up. And I couldn’t move up the chain to address it. My coworker was the pastor’s cousin. The pastor’s wife was head of children’s ministry and the head elder was the pastor’s father. No way was I about to pit family against each other, so I left that church.To this day I am still at a loss as to what happened. Sometimes you never know where the breakdown is for sure.

I'm sorry this happened to you

I agree sometimes things just don't work out, I hope and pray you found someplace that brings you joy

HappyHope · Nov 15, 2020

I hope you find your fit.

aiki · Nov 15, 2020

It is more than "well meaning" to urge the OP to remain where she is and serve God rather than herself, it's biblical. God calls all of His children to be self-sacrificing (Matthew 16:24-25; John 12:24, 25) and to be so out of deep love for Him and for those things that He loves, which are those difficult fellow believers we want to ditch because they don't see things our way, or just rub us the wrong way and don't satisfy what we want in community with other believers. It is spiritual immaturity, not godly wisdom, that urges the Christian to put their relationship with God over or before enduring in love with these unattractive brothers and sisters in Christ - as though these two things are somehow contrary to each other. They aren't. The former necessarily entails the latter. There is no healthy relationship with God that doesn't involve loving one's neighbor (and even before one's neighbor, one's family in Christ) in the way God has loved us: persistently, faithfully, and self-sacrificially. The apostle John makes it clear that if we love God, we will love His way. What way is that? Loving those who do not love us:

1 John 4:10-11
10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

When Jesus spoke of hating family and leaving them for his sake, he was not speaking of leaving fellow Christians but was speaking in context of division between people over the truth he was preaching, of divisions between believers and non-believers. Jesus's comments about this division does not apply to the situation the OP is in. And this stands to reason also because, if the construction marc b has put on Jesus's words is accurate, it puts God's word in direct contradiction with itself.

What did the apostle Paul write about what it was like to serve God faithfully in the Early Church?

2 Corinthians 12:15
15 And I will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved.

CaspianSails · Nov 29, 2020

Jetma1572 said:
Thank you, I'll look for that book and give it a read , yes I've approach them and some of them will be nice but there's no scencerity to it if that makes sense it's like they won't continue a conversation there's no attempt there . I attend a UPC church and I'm fairly new to doctrine I know there are major differences in UPC and other dominations and im on a road to searching out what the truth is and praying I'll find the right answers thank you so much for your reply

I think you will find the book I mentioned will likely not be in agreement with the teachings of the UPC. They have some doctrine which could be questionable to most believers who are not UPC. UPC teaches that there is not a triune GOD as we see demonstrated in the scripture but a God who manifests in three ways. That would make passages like the baptism of Christ difficult to understand as would the fact that Christ prayed to His Father and that He said He would send the Comforter after He ascended, the Comforter of course in the Holy Spirit. The book is foundational doctrine which has been taught for quite a long time. UPC is not the originator of their doctrine as the heresy has been present for some time. Their notion of salvation is not in line with the Bible either. I would not continue in that church. Salvation is all of God and nothing of man. Salvation occurs when the Holy Spirit reveals Christ to you and is received by you which causes repentance. Works are not a means to salvation but are a result of being changed by the Holy Spirit to be like Christ. Works do not save. Ephesians 2:8-9 speak to that. May God lead you to Himself and to a body of believers grounded and rooted in the faith.

Search

Search

Should I start looking for a different church ?

HappyHope

Well-Known Member

More options

HappyHope

Well-Known Member

More options

Brian Mcnamee

Well-Known Member

More options

Jetma1572

Active Member

More options

Jetma1572

Active Member

More options

HappyHope

Well-Known Member

More options

aiki

Regular Member

More options

CaspianSails

Well-Known Member

More options

Similar threads