Some suffering is caused by:
1. Result of being in a fallen creation, we have disease and nature disasters
2. In-built consequences of personal failure (we reap what we sow)
3. Persecution for Christ. 2 Timothy 3:12
But I gather yours is of a different sort.
There are very good reasons why God allows christians to suffer / go through trials / times of difficulty. In the book of Job, we are given a great insight to this question.
4. God could be chastising us in order to bring us back to Himself. Hebrews 12:4-13
5. God could be allowing us to go through the fire of affliction / difficulty to purify us. Job was more righteous a person than most christians today Job 1:1, yet he suffered greatly. When gold is put into the fire, the dross is burnt up and your left a purer metal. That is how suffering helps us. Our happiness isn't the primary focus, but rather holiness.
There is a saying I once read:
- too much sun makes a desert.
- too much sun (ease in life) makes a desert (spiritually).
It is difficult to understand why we go through difficulties at times, Job didn't know why he was going through such suffering and he never found out. Although he was a very upright man Job 1:1, yet he was made purer still by the sufferings he endured. In the end, he realised the goodness of God and simply rested in the knowledge that God is good. It is really an act of faith.
We should always remember that no one suffered more than the Lord Jesus Christ (who was totally innocent) and we can go to him, our Great High Priest, in our times of need. Hebrews 4:15-16
If your feeling that your being drawn back to God, by the sounds of it, it is the work of the Holy Spirit. Do not resist Him but get yourself before God in prayer, don't do your own thing.
Our conscience is an in-built alarm that should condemn us when we sin and cause us seek God's forgiveness.
I hope this helps in whatever difficulties your going through.