Hello. My wife passed away on 10/1/20

Are you in fellowship?

You need to be wrapped around with Prayer and love...

This is a short life and although we can be numb with pain for a season, peace will come and joy will return.

Believers will gloriously meet again on the other side.

She would want you to be at peace.

There is nothing that could really be said here from me than it must be very painful, and it will take time to recover it will be a slow process, not sure how long you both were together, though things will get better if you stick in fellowship with God who cares and loves you very much.

I have never dealt with any family dying, let alone a wife.

Though when I do have to deal with death, my only understanding will have to see that God must have needed them back now and their time has come to and end.

Whatever light your wife shine, and memories you will able to hold and use those things moving forward whatever light she brought into your life.

God bless.

Psalms 31:9 – O’ Lord have mercy on Joey in his anguish. I am certain his eyes are red from weeping; his health is broken from sorrow.

Psalms 147:3 – Heal this broken-hearted son, and bind up his wounds.

John 14:27 – Lord, You have left your grieving sons with a gift - peace of mind and heart! And the peace You give is not fragile like the peace the world gives. So help Joey to not be troubled or afraid.

John 14:18 – Send your Word and tell Joey how You will not abandon him or leave him as an orphan in the storm - that You will come to him."

Psalm 46:1 – God, be Joey's refuge and strength, a very present help in this time of trouble.

In Jesus' mighty and holy name, I pray. Amen!

Joseph Ruggiere said:

My name is Joey. My wife and best friend passed away suddenly last month. We were having a great day, but around 4pm, I walked into the bedroom, then walked back out into the Livingroom to talk to my wife, Margaret. She looked like she was sleeping on her recliner like shes done a million times. I went to wake her up, but she was gone. I couldn't believe it! There was nothing wrong with her. It was like she was just turned off...just like that. I am so lost and alone without her. I have plenty of friends, but she was my best. I'm now stuck in this horrible place...a place of dread. I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want to see anyone....I just want to be left alone. It's killing me, I know that. I am a hiker, but now, I don't even want to do that. I though finding a place like this might help. I still don't know if it will. I want my wife back. I miss her so very much......

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Joey, my heart goes out to you. If you have plenty of friends, and your wife was the best, count yourself blessed, I think right now, it sounds like life just has no flavor to it.

To keep putting one foot in the front of the other, might I suggest going over the eschatology forum where I hang out and getting involved in the discussions over there - because we talk about the rapture and the resurrection, which is the blessed hope. And that is what we all need, hope, and not be in despair.

Joey - I can't imagine what you are going through - but you will come through this.

My beloved husband was ill for 16 months before he passed , more than 8 months of this had been spent in hospital, and I had known he was not going to survive.

It still hurts desperately some 13 years later, but I'm still here and though each day can be a struggle they are not all bad.

Trust God - He will help you and give you strength

May the Lord bless you richly and restore you and give you his wonderful peace in Jesus precious name.

Welcome to the site (CF), Joey. I am so sorry for your loss.That is how my mother died when I was 12. Yes, it is a shock. Give your self liberty and time to mourn your loss. In a day with social distancing and no or very limited touch (elbow punching instead of handshakes) it makes being consoled by others more difficult as one of the things you may have lost and need is a warm touch.

Lord, please let Joey allow others in to console him. And Lord please help Joey come to an acceptance of the loss. In Jesus name, Amen

I remember a girl in art class who sat at my 4-person table for whom we each had those "scary and weird" feelings for. She tried to console me and I bit her head off. I wish I hadn't. Not only did it permanently destroy a perfectly good potentially first girlfriend relationship but it deprived me of what I so disparately needed.

I think it would VERY helpful at this time if you have a relative or very close friend or if not, a Pastor or counselor, to be close to them for a season. I know how it can be when one gets hurt so bad you just don't know how express the pain w/o crying like a baby so you withdraw and pull away so no one will see you so vulnerable. If you have a Pastor who is a good counselor, most of them are trained on helping their flock during these times, I think that might be best for you but you must be comfortable with the situation. If you just do not have someone around of whom you can trust to be that vulnerable, confidentiality and compassion CAN be bought. Find a good Christian Counseling center for this season. I have a neighbor widow whose husband died about a few yrs ago. She still refuses to accept his loss. She is a very unhappy, miserable, lonely soul but she used to be such an enjoyable person to be around and gave so much of herself into other's lives and still could be, by now.

If you are a sr cit these ARE our golden years of which we can do so much for others cause our time is freed up somewhat. Many Christians contribute their most to humanity in their sr yrs. Pastor David Jeremiah elaborated upon that this past Sunday in this sermon: Turning Point Television with Dr. David Jeremiah . I know you FIRST need to get over the shock and mourn and recover but maybe this sermon can help in seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

May the Lord be with you and hold you in His warm and loving embrace and may you lean into Him.

Joseph Ruggiere said:

My name is Joey. My wife and best friend passed away suddenly last month. We were having a great day, but around 4pm, I walked into the bedroom, then walked back out into the Livingroom to talk to my wife, Margaret. She looked like she was sleeping on her recliner like shes done a million times. I went to wake her up, but she was gone. I couldn't believe it! There was nothing wrong with her. It was like she was just turned off...just like that. I am so lost and alone without her. I have plenty of friends, but she was my best. I'm now stuck in this horrible place...a place of dread. I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want to see anyone....I just want to be left alone. It's killing me, I know that. I am a hiker, but now, I don't even want to do that. I though finding a place like this might help. I still don't know if it will. I want my wife back. I miss her so very much......

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Joey ... so sorry to hear about the loss of your wife and best friend.

Will be praying for you ... as you process through the various stages of grief. Lean on your friends ... let God heal your heart ...

Welcome to the CF. I'm sorry to hear bout your wife. I hope you enjoy the fellowship and discussions in the forums.

Joseph Ruggiere said:

My name is Joey. My wife and best friend passed away suddenly last month. We were having a great day, but around 4pm, I walked into the bedroom, then walked back out into the Livingroom to talk to my wife, Margaret. She looked like she was sleeping on her recliner like shes done a million times. I went to wake her up, but she was gone. I couldn't believe it! There was nothing wrong with her. It was like she was just turned off...just like that. I am so lost and alone without her. I have plenty of friends, but she was my best. I'm now stuck in this horrible place...a place of dread. I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want to see anyone....I just want to be left alone. It's killing me, I know that. I am a hiker, but now, I don't even want to do that. I though finding a place like this might help. I still don't know if it will. I want my wife back. I miss her so very much......

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Hello and welcome Joey.

I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine the shock of it.

I've lost loved ones, but was fortunate enough to say goodbye first.

The grieving process is normal for us all, so don't worry overly much. At least your seeking some distraction to move past the bad place your in, a positive step on your part.

I pray you find freinds and comfort here, and look forward to seeing you around the forums.

Joseph Ruggiere said:

Thank you everyone for the kind thoughts. I was married for 36 years. The thing that really bothers me is, why would God need her? She wasn't sick or very old. It's like I turned my back, and God ripped her out of my soul. To tell you the truth, I am VERY angry at the Lord. Why would He do this? Why does He let babies and little kids suffer and die with cancer? He doesn't sound like the all loving God that I was brought up to believe in. I just don't understand why He would do these things.

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Joey, I hear you. Many get angry at God at these times. I think it is a normal flow of thought as many work out their grieving. Dr. Charles Stanley (and now also, his son, Andy) tries to answer that in these sermons on video at this link: charles stanley why does God allow suffering at DuckDuckGo and I think he has written a book on it. Maybe at some time you may want to check them out.

By the way, DuckDuckGo is just another browser/search engine like google only it comes highly recommended by AFR (American Family Radio) over google because the search hits are much more abundant and relevant for Christian prerogatives.

Joseph Ruggiere said:

My name is Joey. My wife and best friend passed away suddenly last month. We were having a great day, but around 4pm, I walked into the bedroom, then walked back out into the Livingroom to talk to my wife, Margaret. She looked like she was sleeping on her recliner like shes done a million times. I went to wake her up, but she was gone. I couldn't believe it! There was nothing wrong with her. It was like she was just turned off...just like that. I am so lost and alone without her. I have plenty of friends, but she was my best. I'm now stuck in this horrible place...a place of dread. I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want to see anyone....I just want to be left alone. It's killing me, I know that. I am a hiker, but now, I don't even want to do that. I though finding a place like this might help. I still don't know if it will. I want my wife back. I miss her so very much......

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Would you do something for us Joey?
Would you mind telling us about your wife and best friend, maybe do it in stages through different posts.
Tell us of the things you did together.
Tell us how you met.
It might be a bit painful, but it would help us understand what you're going through.

I am sorry to hear about your loss . I know it is hard but God is your friend. Don’t lose hope. Welcome and be blessed

I just did a quickie on that link I sent Joey. His son, Andy, expounds in hyper drive. He says a lot with few words. I am still thinking about what he said as he soars ahead sometimes and I am glad I can pause or replay. This is only 2 min. long but it speaks a lot on your dilemma: charles stanley why does God allow suffering at DuckDuckGo or
It speaks too ALL of us about the bad in our lives and why God would allow it. His last sentence dives very deep if you remember the parallelism which he has been employing.

By the way, when Adam sinned, he handed over the Title to this world to satan. That is why he is called the ruler of this world.

Hello and welcome to CF, dear Joey.

There is already a lot of advice flowing here in this thread, so I won't add to it. I don't want to overwhelm you when you're still grieving.

It sounds as though you and your wife enjoyed a beautiful and blessed life together - almost 40 years! And she passed swiftly and without suffering. That in itself is a tremendous mercy, even in the pain of loss. So many people will never know a long, happy marriage with their best friend, nor be spared watching them deteriorate slowly and painfully, before having to say goodbye. It may not feel like it now, but these are immense blessings to be thankful for. I'm sure your wife knew how much she was adored and loved by you, that she passed in peace, and that she is smiling down, and eagerly awaiting the day when you rejoin her.

Everyone asks "why" when they lose someone they love. There is no answer other than "it was God's time to take them". I trust that we will know all when we are reunited in Heaven, and the grief we feel now will be utterly gone in our joy at being with them again, forever.

God has work for you yet to do Your beloved wife is now part of that "great cloud of witnesses", cheering you on to the purpose He has for you.

Joseph Ruggiere said:

My name is Joey. My wife and best friend passed away suddenly last month. We were having a great day, but around 4pm, I walked into the bedroom, then walked back out into the Livingroom to talk to my wife, Margaret. She looked like she was sleeping on her recliner like shes done a million times. I went to wake her up, but she was gone. I couldn't believe it! There was nothing wrong with her. It was like she was just turned off...just like that. I am so lost and alone without her. I have plenty of friends, but she was my best. I'm now stuck in this horrible place...a place of dread. I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want to see anyone....I just want to be left alone. It's killing me, I know that. I am a hiker, but now, I don't even want to do that. I though finding a place like this might help. I still don't know if it will. I want my wife back. I miss her so very much......

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I’m so sorry. ***hugs***

I'm so sorry for your loss. I pray that you find peace.

Have a great day. Does that not seem possible? Just accept the crumminess that life throws at us. Good luck with getting over your wife and everything else in your life.

Welcome.