Should A Christian Man Marry A Divorced Woman?

SimpleLiving2019 said:

It’s just the topic at hand, the matter of the divorced woman on this thread. And to quote that the verse says “let him leave” is just quoting the verse. As to the matter of the wife leaving, if she leaves, she leaves, there is no scripture that ever prohibits a man from merely taking another wife...in addition to the one that left, unless your earthly laws prohibit it, which could be an different discussion. So it’s not a matter of trying to make the conversation interesting, I am just dividing the Word accurately. This is also where your particular use of the word spouse starts (continues) breaking down and not working scripturally.

There is a husband. There is a wife. The roles are different. The rules for each role is different. The husband is not the wife, and the wife is not the husband.

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And yet, all the commentary I just provided for you is true.

To bear out on what a believing husband would do in the case where the law of his country does not permit an additional wife, and his unbelieving wife departs.

If she departs, and remains sexually pure then he should not divorce her. And he is now bound, by the law of his country not to marry an additional wife. But let him not lay that at God’s feet, that is his country’s ruling that is putting him there. So let him have peace, or maybe his wife will return.

There is a high chance an unbelieving wife who departs will not remain sexually pure, but if she is a virtuous woman, and does, and his country’s law restrict him from taking an additional wife. Then let him not divorce her, else he does cause her to commit adultery. And let him have peace, there is no more division and spiritual battle in his home...and she is a virtuous woman, she may return as well.

SimpleLiving2019 said:

To bear out on what a believing husband would do in the case where the law of his country does not permit an additional wife, and his unbelieving wife departs.

If she departs, and remains sexually pure then he should not divorce her. And he is now bound, by the law of his country not to marry an additional wife. But let him not lay that at God’s feet, that is his country’s ruling that is putting him there. So let him have peace, or maybe his wife will return.

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Yea, I'm not sure at all how that has anything to do with the commentary I provided from I Corinthians. Do you have a specific response to what I actually said? Or are you more interested in just talking to yourself?

SPF said:

Yea, I'm not sure at all how that has anything to do with the commentary I provided from I Corinthians. Do you have a specific response to what I actually said? Or are you more interested in just talking to yourself?

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It was really just a continuation of my previous post, I should have just edited and added it. I deleted your quote. I was just using the reply button to continue on with my post. As for for my last few posts, it is addressing that you are making a leap of logic and muddying the roles of husband and wife by combining them into spouse, and asking me to do the same thing so I can see your conclusions, and a bit of bearing out on my part on the matter of when a unbelieving husband or wife departs.

None of the verses you have shown implicitly justify the wife to remarry another husband. Which is ultimately what you are trying to bear out.

SimpleLiving2019 said:

As for for my last few posts, it is addressing that you are making a leap of logic and muddying the roles of husband and wife by combining them into spouse, and asking me to do the same thing so I can see your conclusions, and a bit of bearing out on my part on the matter of when a unbelieving husband or wife departs.

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I think the only time I've done this was specifically with the passage in I Corinthians, but that's because Paul does. Just look at the passage:

1Co 7:10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband
1Co 7:11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

1Co 7:12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.
1Co 7:13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.

1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.

1Co 7:15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him[or her] leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.

1Co 7:16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

You can see that in the Corinthian passage, Paul is addressing both husbands and wives equally. It is only in the Matthew passage where Jesus is specifically speaking to the husband, something that I've acknowledged from the beginning.

SimpleLiving2019 said:

None of the verses you have shown implicitly justify the wife to remarry another husband. Which is ultimately what you are trying to bear out.

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This of course isn't true. You do understand what an "exception" is, right? Matthew 5:32 is about remarriage, not divorce.

Mat 5:32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Jesus is clear in this passage that if a husband divorces his wife for any reason other than adultery that the result of her remarrying is that she is committing adultery. It necessarily follows therefore, that if the reason for the divorce is adultery that when the wife remarries, she is not committing adultery.

So there's one instance in which a wife can remarry.

Now when we look at I Corinthians, which addresses husbands and wives equally - we can see that in this instance, when the marriage is an unequally yoked marriage, that if the unbelieving spouse leaves (husband or wife), that the believing spouse (husband or wife) is then free to remarry another believing spouse and that they are no longer under bondage.

Thus, in Scripture we have two instances in which a spouse may divorce and remarry without committing adultery.

SPF said:

1Co 7:10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband
1Co 7:11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

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That verse right there tells the wife who departs to remain unmarried. Notice how that unmarried part is left out for the husband. Don’t insert it to fit your theology, and don’t take from the other one to do the same.

A husband and wife role reversal lens applied to scriptures does not work and only creates confusion. Keep them in place, and all the scriptures line up perfectly.

SimpleLiving2019 said:

That verse right there tells the wife who departs to remain unmarried. Notice how that unmarried part is left out for the husband. Don’t insert it to fit your theology, and don’t take from the other one to do the same.

A husband and wife role reversal lens applied to scriptures does not work and only creates confusion. Keep them in place, and all the scriptures line up perfectly.

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You're so obsessed with focusing on only the role difference between men and women that apparently you're literally incapable of engaging in any meaningful dialogue. Clearly you are bringing a lot of personal history and issues to this conversation which make it virtually impossible to have a conversation with you.

The fact that after everything I've said and all the commentary I've posted, that the above is your response demonstrate that sad reality. Best of luck to you.

And for the record, what you totally and completely missed is that it isn't until verse 12 that Paul starts speaking of unequally yoked marriages. And in that instance, it's clearly identical what he is saying to the spouses. But I suppose you aren't able to register that. Seeing as you offered no response, and probably think that the response you just gave somehow negates the reality that in an unequally yoked marriage, a Christian spouse (husband or wife), who is divorced by the unbelieving spouse is free to remarry.

SPF said:

And for the record, what you totally and completely missed is that it isn't until verse 12 that Paul starts speaking of unequally yoked marriages. And in that instance, it's clearly identical what he is saying to the spouses. But I suppose you aren't able to register that. Seeing as you offered no response, and probably think that the response you just gave somehow negates the reality that in an unequally yoked marriage, a Christian spouse (husband or wife), who is divorced by the unbelieving spouse is free to remarry.

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None of those specific verses you listed there (1Cor 7:10-16) grant either the husband or wife implicit permission to remarry. They do discuss at the beginning the wife remaining unmarried if she depart though.

I wouldn’t even go to those specific verses for myself to look for permission to remarry as a man, that isn’t addressed there.

Those verses offer that you let the unbeliever depart and you are called to peace, which is exactly what you get when you don’t have to deal with that division and spiritual battle everyday. So let them depart. Ok. You are not duty bound to try and stop them or follow them. It is an enormous and dangerous leap of logic to infer teachings on remarriage in there.

It continues to boil down to you finding inferred meaning into verses that is not there, and your whole system builds upon itself, so that later in scripture you refer back to exception clauses, which you also inferred meaning into that isn’t there and find harmony in all of this system of doctrine you have. I’m not strictly blaming you, much of the church teaches the same thing. Then people wonder why they get in a snare of a situation and keep getting convicted by the scriptures.

Perfect example for you SPF. If I had a virtuous wife, who was an unbeliever, and she departed from me, and went to her parents house to live, and remained pure. If I divorce her then I cause her to commit adultery. I am now in trouble with God. You would lead me to believe by your interpretation of 1Cor 7:10-16 that I could just divorce her and move on with a new marriage. Incorrect. Now I would actually be the guilty husband of Mat 5:32 causing her to commit adultery and breaking the exception clause in Mat 19:9, which means I also commit adultery. This is another place where your theology breaks down and gets me into hot water (if I were to follow your advice, which I wouldn’t)


One thing you will notice with my breakdown of doctrine on this matter...is it doesn’t get anyone in hot water mega-snares ...that’s telling. At the end of the day I’m going to be sitting free and clear from snares, while those who follow your doctrinal advise are gonna find themselves trapped in one.

DEUTERONOMY 24:1-4
1 When a man has taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes, because he has found some uncleanness (???) in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.

.... so, as it is written, and in the context of what was recorded that Jesus said on the Mount, the Holy Spirit has declared that the divorced lady can marry again. Jesus and The Holy Spirit are One, therefore it's impossible for Him to go against this edict.

Tony B said:

DEUTERONOMY 24:1-4
1 When a man has taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes, because he has found some uncleanness (???) in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.

.... so, as it is written, and in the context of what was recorded that Jesus said on the Mount, the Holy Spirit has declared that the divorced lady can marry again. Jesus and The Holy Spirit are One, therefore it's impossible for Him to go against this edict.

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Well, Jesus lays that squarely at Moses’ feet. Jesus has his own teaching on the matter in the New Testament which are much more narrow.

The real issue here, is that once a man and a woman are joined in marriage, they are one flesh and the wife is bound to the husband till he dies. Not adultery, nor divorce actually truly removes that status between them.

The only reason the husband is allowed to marry again in the New Testament is because it was never prohibited that a husband could not have more than one wife even simultaneously, he could be one flesh with more than one wife, each of them is bound to him for life. So even if a man is rightfully divorced, and remarries, his first wife is still bound to him till he dies in God’s sight, the new wife is a serial polygamy and is also bound to him for life and one flesh with him. This is also the reason if his first wife marries another that the new husband commits adultery, because in God’s sight, she is still bound to her original husband even though a divorce took place, and multiple simultaneous husbands were never allowed to women by God, she can only be bound to one man, with the original husband, and that original husband is who she is bound to till he dies.

Look through the scriptures, at all the great men of God. They may have had many wives, but they didn’t marry another man’s divorced wife while he lived, if they did it is not recorded, even though Old Testament law allowed it. If I missed one there I do request correction, I take no joy in being wrong.

SimpleLiving2019 said:

Well, Jesus lays that squarely at Moses’ feet.

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Well that's a silly saying. God gave Moses the law, Moses didn't fabricate it from his own understanding.

Jesus was speaking/teaching to the Jews who were under the jurisdiction of the old covernant and laws, and said that He hasn't come to do away with the law that Moses was given, but to fulfil it. The new covernant was established through Jesus' death and resurrection, which happened sometime after He taught from the Mount.

Jesus' teaching regarding marriage and divorce whilst He was on the Mount was squarely directed at any man (and by default, woman) that divorced their partner for wrong/unjustifiable reasons, they will not be exonerated from any blame for the destruction of that marriage, they can expect to be punished. Further to that, if they then married another then they will be regarded as an adulterer, and whoever marries them likewise. And as far as the innocent parties are concerned, they are free to marry again if they so wish. There is no changing in God, His moral laws are the same yesterday, today and forever, and likewise His judgements.

Bringing the issue of polygamy into the discussion is so obtuse it beggars a response, it is just completely irrelevant.

Satan has stuck a hook into you, and shutting your mind off to sound judgement. I don't know how far he will be able to drag you before you realise it, but I sincerely hope not too far.

If I was a moderator on this site I would have to close you out of any further discussion in this thread. Your stubbornness on the issue is dangerous and a weakness, it is not a strength.

Tony B said:

Well that's a silly saying. God gave Moses the law, Moses didn't fabricate it from his own understanding.

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Mat 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

Well, Jesus says Moses suffered it, so silly or not. It would have been very easy for Jesus to say words to just continue what Moses had suffered, but he went narrower.

Tony B said:

Bringing the issue of polygamy into the discussion is so obtuse it beggars a response, it is just completely irrelevant.

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Well, it is not completely irrelevant, as it helped to clear up the specific role rules of husband and wife, as it is an easy one to point to and the only reason a husband can remarry in the New Testament, a serial polygamy. Though the thread is about the divorced wife, several people swap wife and husband in the verses regularly, which is wrong.

Tony B said:

Your stubbornness on the issue is dangerous and a weakness, it is not a strength.

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I was actually not going to add much more to the thread, but SPF requested that I answer his analysis, so I got back into it.

Tony B said:

Satan has stuck a hook into you, and shutting your mind off to sound judgement. I don't know how far he will be able to drag you before you realise it, but I sincerely hope not too far.

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Hmm, not sure what to make of that. I will take that to the Lord in prayer and see what he thinks. You kind of approach me with the appeal to authority stance. I’m not saying that cannot be the case in the body of Christ, it certainly can, I’m not certain I trust your discernment though. It’s just something I have to put in prayer to Jesus, and I will do that.

SimpleLiving2019 said:

If I had a virtuous wife, who was an unbeliever, and she departed from me, and went to her parents house to live, and remained pure. If I divorce her then I cause her to commit adultery. I am now in trouble with God. You would lead me to believe by your interpretation of 1Cor 7:10-16 that I could just divorce her and move on with a new marriage.

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Im beginning to think you have reading comprehension problems. Paul teaches in I Corinthians 7 that in the case of an unequally yoked marriage that it is the unbelieving spouse that must initiate the divorce.

You’re simply not able to grasp the nature of the one flesh covenant and the part that God plays in it.

SimpleLiving2019 said:

Hmm, not sure what to make of that. I will take that to the Lord in prayer and see what he thinks. You kind of approach me with the appeal to authority stance. I’m not saying that cannot be the case in the body of Christ, it certainly can, I’m not certain I trust your discernment though. It’s just something I have to put in prayer to Jesus, and I will do that.

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SL, fasting and prayer are sometimes needed. I'm not trying to put you down, but your rationale to many of us is incomprehensible. I won't say any more with you on the topic, as I would merely be repeating previous posts.
Shalom.

SimpleLiving2019 said:

The real issue here, is that once a man and a woman are joined in marriage, they are one flesh and the wife is bound to the husband till he dies. Not adultery, nor divorce actually truly removes that status between them.

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You're entitled to your opinion, even if it is wrong. There are 2 exceptions to this, and I don't think you actually understand what an "exception" is. The first is in Matthew:

Mat 5:32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Let's try this one more time. I'm going to restate the verse in another way that is true to the text, but will hopefully make it easier for you to understand:

but I say to you that 100% of the time a woman is divorced by her husband, that when she remarries, she will be committing adultery EXCEPT if the divorce was due to adultery, in that case, she will not be committing adultery.

That is what Jesus is saying. That is what an "exception" is.

What is marriage? Between two Christians, marriage is a covenant made between a man a woman, and God. God seals the marriage covenant, and the two become one flesh. Jesus is clear that getting a divorce on paper isn't capable of severing the one flesh covenant EXCEPT if the divorce is a result of adultery.

Adultery is the only action that a spouse can perform which is capable of severing the one flesh covenant. Does this mean that spouses ought to always get divorced when an adultery occurs? Certainly not. Reconciliation and restoration should always be explored first. But given the nature of marriage, the intimacy it creates both physically, spiritually, and emotionally - a violation as serious as sexual relations with another is the ultimate betrayal and violation within a marriage. Only it is capable of severing the one flesh covenant.

The second exception is in I Corinthians:

1Co 7:12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.
1Co 7:13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.

1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.

1Co 7:15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him[or her] leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.

1Co 7:16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

To summarize what Paul is saying: Paul is further expounding upon the mystery of marriage and showing us a little more about the nature of the one flesh covenant and God's role. Paul says that in the specific instance of an unequally yoked marriage, that if the unbelieving spouse initiates a divorce, that the believing spouse is "not under bondage", or in other words, is free to remarry.

So there are two instances in Scripture where remarriage after a divorce is permitted without adultery being the result. The third instance for remarriage would be the death of a spouse.