I don't really know what my true self is. I now consider what I do, what I like, what I love, what I dislike sinful. I just don't know what my "right" true self should be.
Part of the message of the Gospel is that our "true selves," the person we are apart from God, is inevitably bound under the power of the World, the Flesh and the devil. That person is selfish, living in dangerous defiance of God. (
Ephesians 2:1-3; Colossians 1:21) But this sort of person isn't really anyone's "true self," the person they were created by God to be. God has made us to know and walk with Him and to serve Him. We were made to be His "vessels set apart and fit for His use." And when we live in accord with the purpose for our creation, we find ourselves fulfilled, enjoying God and taking great delight in serving Him.
The "true self" of every believer is Jesus Christ. God's plan for His children is to make each of them like His Son. (
Romans 8:29) There is no better "self" to be. Really, though, the life God calls us to is one of death to Self, of self-crucifixion, not self-preoccupation. (
Matthew 16:24-25; John 12:24-25; Galatians 2:20; Colossians 3:3) Dying to ourselves, you see, liberates us to live for God. One cannot live for oneself and for God; Self and God are at direct odds, seeking entirely different ends.
I know that God knows everything. But I just don't feel comfortable telling him certain things.
Much of the stuff people are encouraged to say to God these days they shouldn't be saying.
Ecclesiastes 5:2 (NASB)
2 Do not be hasty in word or impulsive in thought to bring up a matter in the presence of God. For God is in heaven and you are on the earth; therefore let your words be few.
This isn't to say that lying to God is better; it's not. But too many Christians today have a very small view of God and it shows in a careless and disrespectful manner toward Him.
Anyway, there's no point in pretending with God. Be honest - even about the uncomfortable things - but respectful, too.
I need REAL problems to talk to God about. I need REAL concerns, thoughts, and etc to talk to God about, not my foolish thoughts, desires, concerns, and other meaningless small things. (we are talking about a holy God here, what right do I have to talk to him about my stupid, fleshy, and meaningless thoughts/problems? There are bigger and more important things to be talked about)
So, God is everywhere, and knows everything, and possesses power greater than all of the universe put together. Is it taxing to Him, then, to consider your comparatively small problems? He knows how many hairs there are on your head. And He knows intimately everything you're thinking about, and doing, and dealing with in your life, not because He has taken special pains to look into your life, distracting Himself from other more important things in order to do so, but because He is God and knows all about everything, and is present everywhere all the time, and can tend to everything in the universe - big and small - all at once without overtaxing Himself in the least.
It is a very human-like God who must order His superintendency of the universe into a hierarchy of importance, putting galactic concerns well above your particular struggles and concerns. This is how
we would do things had we God's power, but it is not how He does things. He can take care of everything of whatever significance all at the same time. This is what, in part, makes Him God.
You know, if there's anything too small for God to notice, if there's something that is so insignificant it escapes His attention, then God isn't really God. By definition, God must be aware of all things and in ultimate control of them always - including you and the events of your life.
I have tried everything recommended by everybody I have sought advice from.
I have spent years trying to seek God.
I have spent years asking God to remove my desires or etc for these "more" attractive things.
I have spent years trying to re-think my relationship with God.
All of this stuff is very confusing.
It is - and it isn't. I guess it depends upon how you understand the relationship God offers to you with Himself. It is not necessary to spend years seeking God. He promises to be found by any who seek Him with a whole heart. But He draws near to us as God, right? He won't diminish who He is just to interact with us. We must deal with Him as the God He is which means we will always be His inferior, operating under His authority, according to His will and way, not our own.
Unfortunately, too many "Christians" today see God as their buddy, and themselves as a near-equal to Him. They certainly don't consider the many verses that command those who seek God to humble themselves under His mighty hand, to submit themselves to His will and way, to surrender themselves as living sacrifices to their Maker (
Romans 12:1; James 4:7-10; 1 Peter 5:6, etc.). And so, there are multitudes of Christians who are not really walking with God. It's not possible to do so under any other dynamic than that of servant to Master, inferior to Superior, branch to Vine (
John 15:3-5; Romans 6:18-22). Until one accepts this as the fundamental nature of their relationship with God, it is not possible to go deep with Him and truly enjoy Him.
God doesn't just change our desires for "more attractive things"; He invites us to discover that He is more excellent than any and all of the things we are chasing after that aren't Him. But this discovery can only be made His way, not ours. When you "taste and see that the Lord is good" you will come to desire Him more and more, and as this happens, the desires that once enticed you will fade into shadow, no longer holding the attractive power for you they once did.
If God simply forced your desires to change, if He just eradicated them instantly, He would be making a puppet out of you. God won't do that. He wants you to freely choose Him at every step of your journey with Him, remaining entirely dependent upon Him throughout it. Our struggles with wrong desires crowd us to the One who gives us victory over them. And God wants us always as close as possible.
I just can't seem to find out what I am doing wrong. Every time I almost figure something out, something even more confusing always emerges. It just goes in a constant loop.
One escapes "the loop" by knowing and living in accord with Scripture. It's not nearly as vague and confusing as some like to make out that it is.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NASB)
16 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;
17 so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.
Psalm 119:9-11 (NASB)
9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word.
10 With all my heart I have sought You; Do not let me wander from Your commandments.
11 Your word I have treasured in my heart, That I may not sin against You.
Psalm 119:104-105 (NASB)
104 From Your precepts I get understanding; Therefore I hate every false way.
105 Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.
People keep telling me things that should be happening (in my relationship with God) and they are not happening no matter what I do! I know that I am not having the expected experience that ALL true Christians should have. I just don't know what I am doing wrong.
Not an uncommon thing, I'm afraid. Discipleship is supposed to head off this sort of thing, but real, proper discipleship happens almost not at all these days. You're a casualty of this being so.
People say that I am not saved, others say that I am saved. I tell my self that I am saved, but then I get thoughts saying that I am not saved. Just what is going on? this doesn't make sense.
The Bible tells us what things mark a genuinely saved child of God. It doesn't have to be a mystery whether or not you're really saved. And it is vital to find out! Here're some of the things that mark a genuinely born-again child of God:
1. A love of the brethren.
1 John 3:14 (NKJV)
14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death.
2. A hunger for the Word of God.
1 Peter 2:1-3 (NKJV)
1 Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking, 2 as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby,
3 if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious.
Jeremiah 15:16 (NKJV)
16 Your words were found, and I ate them, And Your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart; For I am called by Your name, O Lord God of hosts.
Psalms 119:174 (NKJV)
174 I long for Your salvation, O Lord, And Your law is my delight.
3. The inner witness of God's Spirit.
Romans 8:16 (NKJV)
16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God...
1 John 5:10 (NKJV)
10 He who believes in the Son of God has the witness in himself; he who does not believe God has made Him a liar, because he has not believed the testimony that God has given of His Son.
The “witness” is not merely a sensation, a
feeling of being saved, but an unshakeable confidence in one's membership in God's family which results from the knowledge and experience of God and His truth in one's life.
(2 Tim. 1:12) And this knowledge and experience can only come by way of the Holy Spirit's illuminating and empowering work within the believer.
(Jn. 14:26; 16:13; 1 Cor. 2:9-14) Thus, it is described by Paul as the witness of God's Spirit.
4. A love for God expressed in obedience to His commands.
1 John 2:3-6 (NKJV)
3 Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments.
4 He who says, "I know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.
5 But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him.
6 He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.
5. The conviction of the Holy Spirit.
John 16:7-8 (NKJV)
7 Nevertheless I tell you the truth. It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you.
8 And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment:
6. The chastisement of God.
Hebrews 12:5-8
5 And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks unto you as unto children, “My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when you are rebuked of him.
6 For whom the Lord loves he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives.
7 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chastens not?
8 But if you are without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are you bastards, and not sons.
7. The development of the Fruit of the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-23 (NKJV)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
Ephesians 5:8-10 (NKJV)
8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light
9 (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth),
10 finding out what is acceptable to the Lord.
So, how do you stack up? Can you see the evidence of spiritual regeneration in your life?
Deep down, there is an issue of why I can't figure it out. And I take 100% blame for it even though I can't identify it at the moment. I don't know, I just really need some sort of strong rebuke to put me on the right track.
No, I think you need to see that God loves you incredibly and that walking with Him in that love is amazing - better than anything else in life. This is the motive God wants from us in walking with Him.
(
Matthew 22:36-38; 1 John 4:16-19; 1 Corinthians 13:1-3) Really, God accepts from us no other motive for our life with Him.
May I suggest a really excellent primer on spiritual living? The book is entitled "The Green Letters," by Miles J. Stanford. It is written very much in the vein of discipleship, dealing directly and practically with the nuts and bolts of walking with God. I urge you to get a copy and study it.
I've also posted several lessons I use in discipling men. They may be found in the Discipleship subforum on this site. I think they will be of help to you.
I'll be praying for you. Feel free to hash things out with me here on this forum, if you like.
