Hypocrite "Christian" men

Proverbs3five · Nov 3, 2020

I've noticed there's a specific mold in the "Christian" community:

The-"Christian"-man-who-thinks-its-ok-to-watch-inappropriate content-and-have-premarital-sex-with-women-yet-somehow-believes-he-deserves-to-marry-a-virgin

This mold is everywhere, probably in this forum. The arrogance of this behavior Is ungodly. Nowhere in the Old Testament or New did our father, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob tell men to engage in as much premarital sex as possible to whoever will give it to him, but be sure to marry a virgin. Both men and women are to remain virgins until marriage, and if a man chooses not to meet the standard, he has no right to disqualify women for marriage simply because they have done what he himself has also done. Disgusting.

Time and time again we see in the Bible that God hates hypocrites and this area is no different. Study the scriptures and you will find that it turns out that God isn't your 'bro' who wants you to score all the chicks before settling down. Study the scriptures and you will find He holds both sexes to the same standard.

And all you "Christian" inappropriate content/masturbation addicts out there, continuously deleting your browser history yet professing to be sexually pure, watching inappropriate contentography is a sin, too. Pray about it. Look it up.

Tolworth John · Nov 3, 2020

You are only half right in identifying the common problem among Christian men.

You also need to identify the problems among Christian women.

The purity of the marriage bed is valued by God, and we are to protect the purity of our eyes, mind and tongue.

No one section of society is solely at fault.

Tony B · Nov 3, 2020

Tolworth John said:
You are only half right in identifying the common problem among Christian men.

You also need to identify the problems among Christian women.

The purity of the marriage bed is valued by God, and we are to protect the purity of our eyes, mind and tongue.

No one section of society is solely at fault.

Yes. My ex wife was unfaithful more than once...to different men.

Finding a Christian lady to be my wife has been an impossibility. The ones I met that were eligible, we're not suitable. They seemed more loyal to their denominational religious practises than to God, and were carrying thorns in their baggage that would bring stress and harm to a relationship.

I don't blame the women so much as blame the church and its lame pastoral oversight, for being ineffective in helping men and women in the church be properly prepared for marriage. Active post-marriage mentoring by pastoral couples is almost non-existent.

Just my observations, and experiences.

com7fy8 · Nov 3, 2020

Yes, I can have inappropriate content going on in my imagination, without going near any websites, while I might condemn a woman who talks morality while her behavior seems to be trying to get my attention to what is not moral with her. Self-righteously looking down on her is wrong, too.

And intimacy with worry is not virgin.

com7fy8 · Nov 3, 2020

Tony B said:
Finding a Christian lady to be my wife has been an impossibility.

I would say if we invest with God, we get all He has for us.

Tony B said:
I don't blame the women so much as blame the church and its lame pastoral oversight

1 Timothy 3:1-10 > I would say Jesus Christ's church now is succeeding in obeying His word. So, I do not say "the church" is failing. But invest in obeying God, and discover all He does with us. We are now already reaping according to how we have been sowing . . . inside ourselves.

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful." (Colossians 3:15)

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

Be an example of this, in the sight of God, and you will connect with whoever else is obeying this.

Tony B · Nov 3, 2020

com7fy8 said:
I would say if we invest with God, we get all He has for us.

1 Timothy 3:1-10 > I would say Jesus Christ's church now is succeeding in obeying His word. So, I do not say "the church" is failing. But invest in obeying God, and discover all He does with us. We are now already reaping according to how we have been sowing . . . inside ourselves.

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful." (Colossians 3:15)

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

Be an example of this, in the sight of God, and you will connect with whoever else is obeying this.

If only I could find His church, tell me where it is so that I can invest in that.

We are reaping what we have sown...consider marriage breakdown, the climatic chaos, plagues, wars, civil unrest, pandemics.... and many in the church, along with the world, are bearing the penalties.

Satan has an open invitation into the church. If we want righteousness in our midst, for males and females, we have to adopt and constantly practice righteous behaviour in every area of our lives.

bèlla · Nov 3, 2020

inappropriate contentography and lust are serious problems that afflict both sexes. Women can be equally licentious. Entering the cesspool is easier than departing. Avoidance is wiser. Nevertheless, we err and must seek the Lord's forgiveness and healing where necessary and deliverance for strongholds.

I believe in transparency in my relationships. If we can't come clean with one another we're incompatible. I don't believe in sticking my head in the sand or sweeping things under the rug. I believe in informed decisions. I ought to know what I'm taking on and so should he.

I think its morally unacceptable to have sexual relations with others and you can't admit it. I don't need to know the details. But playing the "under the blood card" won't work with me. I'll assume you're hiding other things.

Purity and chastity can be fetishized. I've dealt with it in the past. Sin is sin. One offense isn't better than another. If you're struggling in an area and contemplating partnership, you need to tell the truth. Allow others to provide prayer and accountability.

Consideration is a big part of this. If you have an addiction or stronghold you can't drop that in someone's lap after the vow. Who does that? Tell the truth and allow them to come alongside and support you. Many avoid the truth to alleviate the consequences. But they didn't consider the same when they took up the sin. In both instances they're thinking of themselves.

It's unethical to foist your struggles on someone unawares. I want to know the person's in my corner in spite of my shortcomings. That increases my affection and respect. But if you deceive me that's another matter. Depending on the lie, I may leave.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

com7fy8 · Nov 3, 2020

Tony B said:
If only I could find His church, tell me where it is so that I can invest in that.

I offer . . . His church can be in churches . . . reaching others there who are not His church. We can use a church as a fishing hole. And as we get with God, now we can discover others who are with Him.

My experience is the real ones have hope for the ones who are not for real. And they do not give up hope for any person, at all. They pray for any and all people, and feed their example.

But first I can need much deep correction, myself, so I can tell the difference about people. And once God has me discover who His real people are, now I still need real correction so I can do well with them and obey their example.

And possibly God has put me with a real Christian woman . . . so I can get real correction with her so I find out how to love in a close relationship. He can use someone else who is not perfect . . . along with me

And I need to have "longsuffering" ready for when I start discovering how even my mentors can have problems, can be wrong somehow, at times >

"with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love," (Ephesians 4:2)

So, I understand we need to actively seek our Father for real correction of our character so we can obey Him and become able to discover who are His real examples > Hebrews 12:4-14.

com7fy8 · Nov 3, 2020

Bèlla said:
If you're struggling in an area and contemplating partnership, you need to tell the truth. Allow others to provide prayer and accountability.

If I do not trust a person enough for the person to know everything about me . . . why would I want to even date a person I do not trust?????

But I need to make sure with God about who to trust, and how it is good for each person to be trusted. Discover each one. Enjoy spending time with people and getting to know them. If we really hope to spend eternity with people, what is the hurry?

bèlla · Nov 3, 2020

com7fy8 said:
If I do not trust a person enough for the person to know everything about me . . . why would I want to even date a person I do not trust?????

I agree. But I've seen threads on issues like these. Most responses advised otherwise. Citing the past, under the blood, and so on. How do you achieve oneness by keeping secrets?

But I need to make sure with God about who to trust, and how it is good for each person to be trusted. Discover each one. Enjoy spending time with people and getting to know them. If we really hope to spend eternity with people, what is the hurry?

It takes a long time to know someone. To understand their bones. There's always unknowns. God is part of the process. But we can't dismiss common sense and wisdom. You need all three.

I'm not a slow decision-maker. I pray, weigh it out, and pull the trigger. I know what I can live with. When I'm vetting that's a consideration. Telling the truth is a must. I understand fear. I'll make the person comfortable. But if they can't unveil, I'm the wrong fit. I don't need a year to figure that out.

I love confessing to my partners. Maybe I'm weird!

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

com7fy8 · Nov 3, 2020

Hi Bèlla . . . I said:
If I do not trust a person enough for the person to know everything about me . . . why would I want to even date a person I do not trust?????

And you said:
I agree. But I've seen threads on issues like these. Most responses advised otherwise. Citing the past, under the blood, and so on. How do you achieve oneness by keeping secrets?

Yes, though, our past is under the blood. This is good to stand for, to confess Jesus by standing for how if He has forgiven us, then we are forgiven.

I also said:
how it is good for each person to be trusted

and said:
Enjoy spending time with people and getting to know them.

So-o-o > trusting a person does not necessarily mean I need to make sure he or she knows everything. I test if I could trust him or her with something, but I also be prayerful about if it would be good to call attention to certain things?

I think at times I have made a point of sharing very sensitive material with certain ones because I was doubting if they really accept me. I don't think doubt should drive what we do.

And there are ones whom I would trust with anything, but I prayerfully share what I find God wants to get attention. I might share about what is current . . . what really might matter and be relevant, anyway.

And like I offered > one can take time to talk about things, enjoy taking our time to share since we intend to be permanent Christian family with one another.

If someone has given me one's word that the past is under the blood, no matter what, and therefore there is no need for the person to know everything, then I might not hurry to get into my past things, but share personally in the present. But I test people who claim they can let go of anything of my past, because some people might claim they can handle anything, but I might not be sure about them. I might manage what gets attention, hopefully to what feeds us with what we need.

Noxot · Nov 3, 2020

Well this is a place of social media and so the torture of trying to make yourself seem so good so that you are accepted in this giant chaotic web of tribal fellows is always going to be stabbing at us if only in the unconscious parts.

The great old father Abraham didn't have Pandora's Box opened. We experience Temptations that many Saints in the past did not. but it's okay because we humans will always find a way to muck things up, internet or no internet.

One of the most powerful heads of the Beast certainly has to do with our sexual nature.

We should also keep in mind that each human being is a unique experience of reality though we share in common things such as all of us having a flesh. but the flesh and the human brain is complex enough that a simple equation may not be able to express the fullness of the situation. inappropriate content is not the root of the problem, it's just a symptom. And it's no wonder if people hate the things that enslave them. maybe all they can do is hate the error since they're not strong enough to overcome their own hell. So they should at least try to say good things, because being 1% good and 99% horrible at least has some goodness in it. God does not want you to destroy the 1% goodness just because you're 99% wrong. It's a good idea to try to be kind, merciful and wise because of knowing that there is evil that can easily arise in any of us.

Junia · Nov 4, 2020

Tony B said:
If only I could find His church, tell me where it is so that I can invest in that.

We are reaping what we have sown...consider marriage breakdown, the climatic chaos, plagues, wars, civil unrest, pandemics.... and many in the church, along with the world, are bearing the penalties.

Satan has an open invitation into the church. If we want righteousness in our midst, for males and females, we have to adopt and constantly practice righteous behaviour in every area of our lives.

I

It takes a while to find the right church for you but Godly churches are out there. Or could you start one?

We ARE the church. If we meet in a coffee shop with another Christian we are having fellowship. We can read bible and pray with them, encourage each other etc

Junia · Nov 4, 2020

Bèlla said:
inappropriate contentography and lust are serious problems that afflict both sexes. Women can be equally licentious. Entering the cesspool is easier than departing. Avoidance is wiser. Nevertheless, we err and must seek the Lord's forgiveness and healing where necessary and deliverance for strongholds.

I believe in transparency in my relationships. If we can't come clean with one another we're incompatible. I don't believe in sticking my head in the sand or sweeping things under the rug. I believe in informed decisions. I ought to know what I'm taking on and so should he.

I think its morally unacceptable to have sexual relations with others and you can't admit it. I don't need to know the details. But playing the "under the blood card" won't work with me. I'll assume you're hiding other things.

Purity and chastity can be fetishized. I've dealt with it in the past. Sin is sin. One offense isn't better than another. If you're struggling in an area and contemplating partnership, you need to tell the truth. Allow others to provide prayer and accountability.

Consideration is a big part of this. If you have an addiction or stronghold you can't drop that in someone's lap after the vow. Who does that? Tell the truth and allow them to come alongside and support you. Many avoid the truth to alleviate the consequences. But they didn't consider the same when they took up the sin. In both instances they're thinking of themselves.

It's unethical to foist your struggles on someone unawares. I want to know the person's in my corner in spite of my shortcomings. That increases my affection and respect. But if you deceive me that's another matter. Depending on the lie, I may leave.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

I

Yes. all our sins for all time are under the blood but in a marriage there needs to be honeaty and trust. My father not only abused me and my sister but our mother , his wife, too. Is he forgiven? Yes he is a believer and has been forgiven by God all His sins paid for... So I trust him? Would I love with him or become his carer in old age??? No way!

It isn't about whether God has forgiven them but is the marriage healthy? Trust and openness between the couple?

SkyWriting · Nov 4, 2020

Proverbs3five said:
Time and time again we see in the Bible that God hates hypocrites and this area is no different.

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Luke 17:3-4
Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

Tony B · Nov 4, 2020

WrappedUpinHisLove3 said:
It takes a while to find the right church for you but Godly churches are out there. Or could you start one?

Have been looking for 35 years in Oz and haven't come across one yet. I gauge a fellowship by this rule...if I had children and had to leave them in the care of that fellowship, would I be confident they would be properly cared for and nurtured in all of God's ways, and be given a good chance of becoming good Christians/followers of Christ. In every case the answer so far has been a resounding no, I could not be confident at all.

WrappedUpinHisLove3 said:
We ARE the church. If we meet in a coffee shop with another Christian we are having fellowship. We can read bible and pray with them, encourage each other etc

I agree with that. I have been running a Christian fellowship notice in the local newspaper at my cost for two years now. I did get some response to that, but they all seem to be looking for a church that holds a worship service. They can't seem to grasp that where two Christians are gathered together, doing whatever is wholesome, there is fellowship. They've been so conditioned by their denominational upbringing they can't see outside of it, even though they say they are. I can't help them.

bèlla · Nov 4, 2020

com7fy8 said:
So-o-o > trusting a person does not necessarily mean I need to make sure he or she knows everything. I test if I could trust him or her with something, but I also be prayerful about if it would be good to call attention to certain things?

There's no one-size-fits-all response. There are things some tolerate I'd never accept and the same holds true in reverse. I like the truth. Even when it hurts. Lies diminish my respect and when its gone it never returns. There are no caveats.

But I test people who claim they can let go of anything of my past, because some people might claim they can handle anything, but I might not be sure about them. I might manage what gets attention, hopefully to what feeds us with what we need.

I'm leery of secretive types. They're not my cup of tea. The people I find most appealing are more transparent. That holds true for friends and companions. I'm the wrong fit for someone guarded who requires time and patience to unlock. They need a different friend or partner.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

Tony B · Nov 6, 2020

com7fy8 said:
My experience is the real ones

Ok, I mustn't be a real one if you say so. But if my Father thinks I am, where does that put you and others that think like you.

I'm very much at peace with my decisions, even though they have meant great hardship in my life. I reckon out there somewhere is a lady that has the same loyalty to Jesus, and convictions about denominations and their peculiar religious practices as I have, and has gone through similar hardships, and who has the 'guts' to stand with me. She won't be prepared to compromise her love for Jesus and be sidetracked into a man-made religious institution, nor water down His standards, no matter what she is challenged by...not many men or women out there will do that!

bèlla · Nov 6, 2020

Tony B said:
I reckon out there somewhere is a lady that has the same loyalty to Jesus, and convictions about denominations and their peculiar religious practices as I have, and has gone through similar hardships, and who has the 'guts' to stand with me.

Even if she hasn’t, she’ll stand with you nonetheless because she believes in you. That’s how love works. You don’t need identical circumstances. You need committed people who want to stay put.

If God can demonstrate the same to two unsaved girls who met on the Internet and built a lifelong connection. How much more for His servant who loves Him?

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

com7fy8 · Nov 6, 2020

Tony you said:
If only I could find His church, tell me where it is so that I can invest in that.

And I offered one thing I said said:
My experience is the real ones have hope for the ones who are not for real. And they do not give up hope for any person, at all. They pray for any and all people, and feed their example.

But first I can need much deep correction, myself, so I can tell the difference about people. And once God has me discover who His real people are, now I still need real correction so I can do well with them and obey their example.

And you said:
Ok, I mustn't be a real one if you say so. But if my Father thinks I am, where does that put you and others that think like you.

I offer I am not saying what you are. I did not mean you are or are not.

I am offering what has been good for me, in case it is good for you . . . since you did ask how to find God's church . . . right?

Yes, there are major problems in church culture. But Jesus has His sheep who have His pastors for them. And my experience is we can find these people in church settings, but be ready to also discover the exact opposite. In order to have genuine relating with Christ's pastors and sheep, we need to be ready for dealing also with ones who are against God's people; because where God's people are, there are Satan's opposing. And Jesus has us loving them > Matthew 5:46, 1 Timothy 2:1-4.

So, possibly, by the way, you can see I am going with scripture about how to love; so this is not only about what I think, but I have discovered things God's word says, which I am offering.

Hypocrite "Christian" men

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