What was the reason for your divorce?

Mutual decision. She and her boyfriend thought it best if we split and divorce.

The immediate cause of my divorce was my unfaithfulness.
The long term big cause was lack of communication and secondary God was leading her to be more conservative while God was leading me to be more liberal.

Ours was doomed from the beginning. We were two young people who were very wounded and immature. I thought being married would change things for the better and we could create something happy and wonderful. He though being married meant he had a someone to take care of things at home and help him earn a living and he could be free to do as he chose.

He was abusive and cheated on me a lot. I stuck it out for 11 years, staying with him for most of 10. I gave up when he started taking it out on our son when I stood up to him. Every ounce of romantic love I felt for him died when he started mistreating our oldest child.

Abuse - but it took him being violent to our then only child after he got what he always wanted (a son) before I had the courage to leave with the kids.

I was in an unevenly yoked marriage with a Muslim convert. We were both very new to our faiths when we married and as I read the Bible more realised that we should never have married in the first place but it was too late by then.

Anytime I think about the 'why' questions if becomes complex.

Probably the most easily distilled answer I can find is, it needed to be done.

J Daniel said:

Was both parties believers or was it more complex than that?

Sometimes we think if both are evenly yoked all is good - but other problems are still there.

I know people say divorce is like a constant death - (but if you got out of a situation that was horrible will more seem like a rebirth of life).

I think it is important to engage with divorced people - to know the DOs and DON'Ts!

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my wife of ten years had an emotional affair, then abandoned Jesus/divorced me/took my children.

I found a deeper walk with Christ and I have MORE joy now than before. But It’s incredibly painful most days. Good thing this life is a vapor! Then eternity!

Abuse

Sorry LoveA

Without going in to ugly detail,mine was biblical.

For me it was the bowl. She always took food from my bowl.

TMI

Renata8 said:

My marriage was emotionally abusive, draining, toxic and controlling. The day he hit me and slammed me into a glass mirror, I left a few weeks later and never looked back. Vanished without a trace

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God bless you

God bless you too Lost4words.

The success of fulfilling a happy marriage is to control your tongue, always do good onto each other, seek peace and pursue it, argue, fight and work on your marriage, because a great marriage takes work and it’s worth the work. Allow God to be your council, you do what you can and he’ll do what you both can’t.

God bless you all

J Daniel said:

I think it is important to engage with divorced people - to know the DOs and DON'Ts!

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Thank you Daniel! I like this idea. But it is complex. And I hesitate to write about someone else in a public forum. Feel free to write me a mail if you're also divorced and want to talk.

He was not a believer and insisted on referencing christians in derogatory terms on a regular basis despite my belief.

He drank alcohol in excess and was mentally abusive.

HisGraceAbounds said:

Mutual decision. She and her boyfriend thought it best if we split and divorce.

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I can relate. My husband and his fiancée were getting impatient, too.

I've actually been married and divorced twice, which I realize makes me a leper in the Body of Christ, but it is what it is.

Both times I married a church leader. My first husband and I were together for 27 years and had six kids, but the violence and abuse just spiraled out of control until I was terrified he was going to kill one of us. Even though we had police and Social Services documentation, I was still condemned because I "abandoned" my sacred vows.

A few years later, I married another church leader. Within weeks of our wedding, he was sexting other women, introducing my preteen sons to inappropriate content, and being physically violent with my children. After five years of multiple affairs, a sick obsession with my teenage daughter, confronting him with church elders, counseling, and much pleading and tears, I discovered child inappropriate content on his phone and left. He moved in with one of his mistresses shortly thereafter and they were engaged before I even filed for divorce. They were married a few months ago and he is already cheating on her.

SusaninBC
WOW, that was one sick guy. I'm amazed I don't hear any bitterness in your post. Sounds like Jesus has done an amazing work in your heart.

dayhiker said:

SusaninBC
WOW, that was one sick guy. I'm amazed I don't hear any bitterness in your post. Sounds like Jesus has done an amazing work in your heart.

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It hasn't been easy, that's for sure. Even though the marriage was shorter than my first one, my divorce was more difficult, and it's been stressful dealing with family members who expected me to just get over it and move on. That's where the bitterness was. I once loved him deeply, and I now pray for him and his new wife to come to repentance. But it takes time... you have to feel everything you need to feel, and you need to grieve before the bitterness leaves. People don't always understand that, and they're impatient for you to move on so they don't have to feel awkward. I still feel very alone, but Jesus is so faithful. So I am grateful.