leaving AA

SpiritualSoldier said:

I have been going to AA for about 6 years and is actually how I ended up being saved. But the past few months AA has been rubbing me the wrong way and I can't seem to connect Jesus to the program. I feel like I can't talk about Jesus openly and do not like the idea of telling another person they can choose whatever God they want to pray to, as I believe there is only one. I thought about leaving AA and attending Celebrate Recovery. Any thoughts?? When I bring this up to people in AA they are very close minded and think AA is the ONLY way to stay sober (at least my circle of friends). Please let me know your thoughts on what I should do. Thank you

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Do as your conscience leads you. AA is not the only way. Lord Jesus is the Way! I don't know Celebrate Recovery. Lord Jesus delivered me from a bondage to alcohol. When I got born again, I realised that drinking was to cover the pain and emptiness of life that had no meaning. I found meaning when Jesus found me. (I did not "find" God..... He is not the One who is lost!)

Most truly saved people ( born again of the Spirit) I know of who had alcohol problems ended up not needing AA at all, the desire to drink was taken away. They just never drank again. Jesus delivers us from addictions, AA keeps you in it by professing at each meeting you're an alcoholic. But you need to come to this determination on your own not because I'm saying it.

Seems like for some AA can be a replacement addiction.

AA helped me to come back to Christ by
#1 giving me a framework and support to stay sober
#2 giving me the freedom to seek God and put aside the misunderstandings that I had
#3 within a framework that Christ would have wanted for me anyway
The roots are traced back to the early Oxford Group which was a Christian organization at the time, probably still is but they became more interested in social movements I think; AA focuses on alcoholism

Celebrate recovery might be good for you; I would consider mixing it up a little, depending on the # of meetings you go to per week, maybe split them and see how it feels. It's still the basic step framework. People like me though, we need God to be 'Anonymous' at first so we can meet again with misconceptions aside; eventually He discloses Himself to us. If everyone talked about Jesus when I first walked in, I would have turned around and walked back out and been the less for it. It gave me the opportunity to have a personal relationship with Christ, because when I sought God with a blank slate, that's who I found.

Different meetings are handled differently, in my area most of the meetings close with the Lord's Prayer. I remember holding hands and thinking, 'these are the people I can say this prayer with', and looking at the Steps and thinking 'this is how Christianity was always meant to be'

Dave G. said:

... AA keeps you in it by professing at each meeting you're an alcoholic ...

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That's a different version of something brand named "AA". As a physical syndrome, in the version of AA that was passed on to me, we get daily spiritual help for abstaining. The "illness model" is solely in conjunction with our metabolism. We get the remission to our metabolism from abstaining, and we underpin our abstaining by good humouredly de-obsessing emotions bit by bit. This is all in the Big Book and the 12 x 12, in the editions endorsed by the conference I've been under.

As to the OP's problem it shouldn't matter to us in connection with what "god" anyone else is there. And if they are picking holes in our God we can gently remind them as per Big Book not to.

I know lots of i) Christian AAs ii) non-Christian AAs who combined AA with Smart Recovery or another programme. Bill W said not to say we have "the" only or exclusive way. We simply testified it worked for those of us with bodily alcohol syndrome (which was well known to physicians in the 1930s), who were "of our type". If you think yourself as near enough "of our type" then good, and if otherwise also good; lots of people like to combine programmes because they cross-cut according to non-conflicting principles.

ss51 said:

Seems like for some AA can be a replacement addiction.

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Some bossy people hijack it like they hijack churches. We've got to be firm with them but I hear they have ruined entire groups in the States. If your sponsor is bossing you ditch him. A decent one will be relaxing to keep in touch with. You should be gaining a wide range of insights - and lightened hearts - from the spread of fellow members.

I think AA is still good because it keeps me in mind of a very specific problem that causes disasters if it is compromised with even a little. I learn a lot from AA often by refreshing my mind when I hear other people's stories about what happens when the compromise and go back out. And I get to help them get another chance to come back in if they want. Sometimes I call AA "Alzheimer's Anonymous'. I'm in a room full of people who have to meet together because otherwise they forget they can't drink.

That "Your higher power" stuff never sat right with me either. As mentioned, there are other ways, and I suppose AA can be fine for some, but it's far from a Sunday school.

Me, I was always too lazy to attend anything like that, and found it easier putting the energy into quiting instead. I also understand it's not that simple for some. Not familiar with your alternative there, but if it tends more towards what you're looking for, I wouldn't think twice about leaving AA.

I do OA,.which is a version of OA for people with eating disorders. Whilst I never have been ok.with the "anything can be your higher power" bit and also don't like always saying I am eating disordered at every meeting (my eating disorder is not my identity. am a child of God) I have found working the programme drew me closer to God. For me I don't see it as a tool for salvation but as a cure for sickness, be it food or alcohol addiction. Just like a cancer sufferer doesn't use their chemo as a means of salvation but as a tool for recovery. Drunkenness and gluttony are sins in the Bible yes but I do believe true alcoholism and eating issues like bulimia or binge eating are not just a matter of saying to God "I know this is sin, I quit.". There is a root cause at work. When the front cause is depression or trauma there is much healing needed.

I am seeing a trauma therapist.and am coming to realise the eating issues are a result of complex trauma. As am progressing in therapy and deepening my walk with God i prayed and my church ministry team prayed with me about whether I still need to do OA as I was worrying about the higher power thing (someone warned me demons could come into me by saying serenity prayer at meetings because we say it holding hands and that could mean am holding hands with those people who are involved in occult etc) but both me and the two women ministers felt strongly that I needed to stay there for the time being and I am making some progress there again

Sadly there isn't a celebrate recovery near me anymore there did used to be that was my first choice before trying OA

A version of AA, I mean

I guess that what am trying to say is that God can use things like AA. Is it flawed? Yes. But if your only option, go for it

My therapist is a deeply committed Christ follower and yes we discuss some issues where my faith is being damaged by the trauma but he is also trained in actual therapy techniques which were invented by non christians. After all of we have a heart attack we don't worry that our cardiac surgeon is a Christian or a Buddhist or whatever, we just want to get well

My rule for These things is to stop if it is actually harming my walk with God or harming me in any way. I am conscious to keep bringing God into my healing of abuse mental illness and addictions. Therapy can help the mind but only the Lord can restore a damaged spirit. Inner healing from God is most important of all

Also some Christian programmes can be flawed. some of my Christian friends did Sozo, Elell, or Wholeness through Christ and found them helpful, others have found them harmful. One of my friends joined Bethel ministries where they do Sozo and came back attacked by a kundalini spirit. I think it depends where you go. I also had some "Biblical" counselling (nouthetic counselling) which was damaging and told me i.was partly to blame for my abuse as a child and adult and that if I was still having panic attacks around my abuser then I hadn't forgiven and was in sin. spthe person doing it had no training of work with psych patients with PTSD and were quick to claim I just failed to forgive and trust Jesus enough! So not everything with a Christian label is helpful either.

Test the spirits and fruit in all things

SpiritualSoldier said:

I can't seem to connect Jesus to the program. I feel like I can't talk about Jesus openly and do not like the idea of telling another person they can choose whatever God they want to pray to, as I believe there is only one.

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It sounds to me like you're not having a problem with working the Second Step as much as you're having a problem with how other people work their Second Step.

Remember: a lot of people (perhaps most people) come in feeling pretty squirrely about God and about people who talk about God. We need to meet them where they are, and not let the best (having a fully realized, conscious relationship with Jesus) be the enemy of the good (becoming open to the idea that there might really be a loving Power who wants to help us sort out the mess of our lives). If someone's expounding about how Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life chases a newcomer out the door so that they continue a life of active addiction, I don't think that's an improvement in their situation. And I've seen it happen more than once.

When the topic is something like Step Two or Tradition Three I feel free to acknowledge that I've returned to Christianity and am very happy about it. I talk about how so many of my earlier negative impressions might have been colored by youthful inability to understand what I was being taught, by having lousy teachers or ones who were poor examples, or certainly my stiff-necked will to do whatever it was I wanted to do. I also talk about how relationships are personal, that my relationship with God is one that he and I are working out, that I became willing to give that process a chance only when it was presented to me as an invitation to enter into a relationship, and that I owe it to other people to let them work out their relationship with God as God would have it worked out. The best that I can do is point in God's direction, affirm that he's not an ogre, and let him take care of the results.

And it doesn't hurt to be working a good program myself so that I'm not being a jerk on a regular basis.

SpiritualSoldier said:

I thought about leaving AA and attending Celebrate Recovery. Any thoughts?? When I bring this up to people in AA they are very close minded and think AA is the ONLY way to stay sober (at least my circle of friends).

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That's unfortunate, but understandable. It's common for people to turn the fact that they couldn't stay clean before they were in AA (or NA), and the fact that so many people who leave the fellowship end up relapsing, into the conclusion that there's no other way to stay clean. But in fact the message of both AA and NA is only that their programs of recovery work, and it's a violation of Tradition Ten to say that nothing else can.

I would certainly agree with the statement that without any sort of program at all, the odds of staying clean are poor. I've never seen that experiment go well. My home is in NA, it works for me and I have no desire to risk leaving.

SpiritualSoldier said:

Please let me know your thoughts on what I should do. Thank you

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I suggest not taking rash action. Talk to your sponsor. Keep coming back. Work the Steps. Trust God. Remember that recovery isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. And whatever you do, don't use.

There's been very little said here about the 12 steps, which I think it is critical that you continue to follow. 6 of those 12 steps mention God, and remember the as you know him part was a later addition made to appease the complainers (and help more people.)

The first 150 pages or so of the Big Book make it pretty clear that these spiritual principles came from the Bible and the Christian faith. That some people later watered it down to suit them doesn't mean you have to do likewise.

Do practice the 12th step, you need to meet regularly with other alcoholics. A group setting is very helpful to keep you involved with practicing that step.

I'm betting there are Christ centered 12 step groups near you.

SpiritualSoldier said:

I have been going to AA for about 6 years and is actually how I ended up being saved. But the past few months AA has been rubbing me the wrong way and I can't seem to connect Jesus to the program. I feel like I can't talk about Jesus openly and do not like the idea of telling another person they can choose whatever God they want to pray to, as I believe there is only one. I thought about leaving AA and attending Celebrate Recovery. Any thoughts?? When I bring this up to people in AA they are very close minded and think AA is the ONLY way to stay sober (at least my circle of friends). Please let me know your thoughts on what I should do. Thank you

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The 12 step program was developed by secular men, so the program doesn't confess the truth that there is only One true God. They don't believe in God as He has revealed Himself in the Holy Scriptures.

They refer to their god as a higher power and everyone is free to invent their own god and call it their higher power.

I attended NA and AA meeting for around 12 months, then left disappointed. The program doesn't allow the addicted person an exit plan, it claims that the addict remains an addict for life. I heard people identify as drug addicts after 28 years of abstinence.

I was heavily addicted to heroin for 6 years and Jesus freed me from my addiction to it 2 years ago. The difference between the 12 step program and the healing power of Jesus, is those in the 12 step program remain addicted and enslaved to their addiction for life but Jesus removes the addiction and heals the person so they are no longer addicted and He removes the desire to use again.

So when Jesus sets the addict free, it's a complete transformation. The 12 step program teaches abstinence but it doesn't offer anything to fill the great big void left in the the addicts life when they stop using. This is why they stress the need to keep coming back and making the meetings a big part of your life.

I need mention that anyone with an opioid addiction, needs to utilize one of the reduction programs where they use Methadone or Suboxone to help them cope with the withdrawal symptoms. I tried to quit cold turkey but I couldn't bare it after 2 weeks so I saw a Doctor who told me that the fastest program is 9 months so I stuck to it and never looked back.

I did attend an NA meeting about 3 months after completing the program and shared my experience. I told them that the Lord Jesus Christ had healed me and set me free from my addiction and that I wouldn't have been able to go through the process without His help. I noticed the look on the faces of the audience change when I mentioned the Lord, I got the sense that they hated the Lord and they didn't like to hear His name.

I have never felt inclined to attend any more meetings since that day.

Only Jesus fills the need we try to fill with carnality. bless you friend

SpiritualSoldier said:

I have been going to AA for about 6 years and is actually how I ended up being saved. But the past few months AA has been rubbing me the wrong way and I can't seem to connect Jesus to the program. I feel like I can't talk about Jesus openly and do not like the idea of telling another person they can choose whatever God they want to pray to, as I believe there is only one. I thought about leaving AA and attending Celebrate Recovery. Any thoughts?? When I bring this up to people in AA they are very close minded and think AA is the ONLY way to stay sober (at least my circle of friends). Please let me know your thoughts on what I should do. Thank you

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How awesome, SpiritualSoldier, that God worked thru the ministry of AA to draw you to Himself and save you! Our God is an Awesome God!


I was not one of those that God chose to immediately deliver from the addiction to alcohol upon the moment of my salvation. It was nearly 3 years after I was born again that I strongly felt the need to stop drinking, and sought help.

For reasons known only to Him, God does not deliver and heal all persons immediately of all sinful, hurtful things when we are born again. He does take many of us on a different path. Sometimes He will use our recovery from addiction to teach us and grow us more deeply in faith, hope, love. The key for each of us is to follow His lead and take the path He directs ... for us.

I was blessed to be born again when I entered inpatient treatment and was formally introduced to the way of AA. I already had faith in God, so it was not hard for me to see God in the 12 steps ... to see the Biblical principles behind them.

I was very dependent on the fellowship of AA ... meetings ... in the early years of my recovery. And I was blessed to live in the Bible Belt at the time, where meetings did tend to be more spiritual in nature. Persons there were not timid about mentioning God, Jesus, etc. That was very helpful to me.

If you are not feeling a 'God connection' at the meetings you've been attending, perhaps there are other meetings you can try? You may have already discovered that the 'atmosphere' in meetings tends to vary from place to place, depending on where they are held, type of meeting, etc.

In later years, I did briefly participate in Celebrate Recovery. I met some very nice, caring persons there. I felt very welcome. And I did like that 'God' language was freely spoken there.

Over the years, as God has steadily grown my faith in Him, I've steadily been able to let go of my dependence on AA. But always, I remember 'they' are 'there' ... if that weird, disturbing 'urge' to escape in a drink pops into my head! AA is always there to understand and help, whenever there is that 'urge'. I very much like that about AA.

Prayer and fellowship with God ... hearing and reading His Word ... fellowship with other committed, loving believers ... all those things have a miraculous way of transforming and healing our hearts and minds! That is largely what my 'recovery plan' consists of today ...

Regardless of what you decide is best for you ... AA, Celebrate Recovery, etc. ... two things I have found to be most important for me: To stay near to God ... and to His people. For most of us on this journey of faith, it proves unwise to 'retreat' into ourselves for too long and 'isolate'. God created us to need Him, to need one another. His ways for us are always best.

May God continue to bless you on your journey!

Dan1988 said:

The 12 step program teaches abstinence but it doesn't offer anything to fill the great big void left in the the addicts life when they stop using.

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Total, unadulterated hogwash. It's obvious that you weren't paying the slightest bit of attention.

Dan1988 said:

I noticed the look on the faces of the audience change when I mentioned the Lord, I got the sense that they hated the Lord and they didn't like to hear His name.

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What, you think you're a mindreader?

chilehed said:

Total, unadulterated hogwash. It's obvious that you weren't paying the slightest bit of attention.


What, you think you're a mindreader?

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Simply rubbishing a comment, just for the hell of it does nothing for your cause.

If you have a point to make then you should make it, otherwise it shows you have nothing of any substance to add so you just stoop down to the lowest common denominator and resort to false accusations.

I looked at some statistics and found that the 12 step program has a 99% fail rate. It shows that 10% of drunkards, drug addicts, gamblers etc. will attend a 12 step program at some stage in their life. Of those, only 3% will continue for a year and only 1% will stay with the program for more than a year.

That exposes the program as a spectacular failure, to me. Maybe your standards for success are much lower, I don't know.