Tone

"Whenever Thou humblest me, Thou makest me great."
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He's the Teacher, marriage is the classroom, and the wife is the Teacher's Pet.


**I was always the class clown...until I grew up...
 
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ReesePiece23

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Reese,

Thank you for weighing in. Can you talk about altruism a little more please? How does that look on a daily basis from your perspective? How can she increase that quality?



How would you advise someone to nurture humility in a culture which values the opposite? What steps would you recommend on their behalf? :)

Yours in His Service,

~Bella


Humility is JUST about being an eternal student of life. It doesn't matter how good you are at something, because there's ALWAYS room for fine tuning, a tighter methodology, and a better game plan. So calling yourself an expert is generally the fastest way to alienate me.

I think that's more to do with ME though. I wasn't born talented, I had to work REALLY hard to get good at things. Perhaps I'm just bitter. ^_^

Humility is also about owing your circumstances and taking accountability for your mistakes. We all mess up - it's cool. Don't beat yourself up for it. But don't blame everyone else either.

The altruism I'm talking about is one of those weird abstract things that I can't really explain, but (sort of/kind of) recognise the feeling (?). I've taken two days to reply purely because I don't think I have a satisfactory answer yet. I just know it like I know the colour green - I can't explain that either.

It's like half geisha half lover... ?

I don't know. Come back to me.
 
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bèlla

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Yes. I like a lady who is pleasing to the eye, mainly my right eye. Softly spoken with a caring and loving nature. Her being a Christian is much more important these days too. Good sense of humour would be nice too. But, i have no plans or desires to link up with anyone. I prefer my own company these days.

Pup,

Thank you for enlightening us. You've noted important qualities exemplary women often possess in spades. You have excellent taste. :)

Yours in His Service,

~Bella
 
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MehGuy

A member of the less neotenous sex..
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Meh,

Not to worry, I understand. You're entitled to down moments. :)

Thanks, looking back at it I think my post was terribly written.

I might have answered differently outside of a pandemic. But my expectations for your sex were along those lines. Strength and protection were important factors. There were moments when I said to myself, we can't melt down together. Someone has to keep their head. I didn't have the liberty of setting mine aside. And it annoyed me. Crisis management is a make or break for me today.

What is funny is that feminists often mock men for seemingly having less empathy. Even though less empathy can be advantageous during certain situations like disasters. When one needs to spring up to action and be selfless it is beneficial to have less emotions.

That's really adorable. Pun intended. *lol*

You like using that word with me, don't you? Lol..

I've never been a damsel and I'm morally opposed to train wrecks. Some people go from one extreme to the next and that's taxing. Nevertheless, I value steadiness in my companion and an ability to lean as needed. I think it's equally wrong to wear oppression like a scarlet letter or badge of honor. It negates situations where oppression is a problem.

I know that, you're femininity is respectable.

I can't relate to that. I'd be in continuous go mode to change it. ;)

I've noticed statements along the lines you've made on Twitter when I peek every now and then. The plight of men is underreported in many areas. Which shouldn't occur. Bias shouldn't be a factor when addressing hardships or helping the needy.

It is not just underreported but whenever someone does try to speak up for men's issues the are met with incredible hostility. The same group that tells men to be more expressive about their problems are shunned when they actually try to do just that. The idea of men being a victim strikes at the heart of challenging gender roles and most feminists fail this attempt to actually challenge gender roles with flying colors. It is extremely pathetic on their part and one of the reasons my hatred for feminism is so intense.

I do have a question for you though.. do you find male vulnerability to be alluring?
 
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bèlla

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I do have a question for you though.. do you find male vulnerability to be alluring?

Meh,

I'll clarify what I meant. I value transparency. You have to get naked with me or we won't get along. However, I'm a problem-solver.

When a man shares a challenge or problem. I want him to fix it. I'm willing to help him. But I'm not enabler. A person who refuses to change or better their circumstances is difficult to deal with. That juxtaposes my disposition.

I don't believe in staying stuck, wallowing in difficulties, or talking things to death. I want solutions. I'm not a limited thinker or negative. I don't feel sorry for myself.

Just because someone is vulnerable, doesn't mean its positive. I see it here. You'll have good and bad. That's normal. What isn't normal—in my mind—is complacency.

You have to try. I won't support giving up or a man being less than he can. Openness allows us to share our heart with one another. But it shouldn't end there.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella
 
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MehGuy

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Meh,

I'll clarify what I meant. I value transparency. You have to get naked with me or we won't get along. However, I'm a problem-solver.

When a man shares a challenge or problem. I want him to fix it. I'm willing to help him. But I'm not enabler. A person who refuses to change or better their circumstances is difficult to deal with. That juxtaposes my disposition.

I don't believe in staying stuck, wallowing in difficulties, or talking things to death. I want solutions. I'm not a limited thinker or negative. I don't feel sorry for myself.

Just because someone is vulnerable, doesn't mean its positive. I see it here. You'll have good and bad. That's normal. What isn't normal—in my mind—is complacency.

You have to try. I won't support giving up or a man being less than he can. Openness allows us to share our heart with one another. But it shouldn't end there.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

Your answer makes sense. This is not a black and white issue with men liking vulnerability and women not. Women just tend to like vulnerability to a lesser extent. For men I think we are more apt to be in danger of treading around the enabling level. Something you see with many feminist men, and why feminist women are often so successful in spreading their message of female hyper victimhood.

I think my personal case is strange. I believe I was born with some genetic mutations that make me more sensitive and attracted to a woman's vulnerability. Yet at the same time I treated women more like men compared to my peers. I understood that to be an egalitarian means to fight the urge to treat women like children and men like adults. It wasn't until I got older and understood neoteny that I was able to put it into better perspective, but I've always had a good grasp about gender issues.

Which is strange, because I really do love weakness in women. Without it I'm not going to be able to have any feelings for her. Part of me is even attracted to the feminist scene. Being a male feminist would give me a front row seat to women acting like hyper damsels. Yet the thought of engaging in that utterly disgusts me and I personally find such actions gravely immoral and antithetical to being a progressive egalitarian.
 
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MehGuy

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Meh,

Men can be enablers. They believe they're helping us. But I abhor that. I need to be held to a higher standard.

Personally I am not sure how many men actually believe they are helping women deep down. I suspect many enable purely to feel the warm fuzzy emotions the derive from being in the presence of vulnerable women. They enjoy it for the sake of it.

The problem is emotional intensity. Might be the same why many women can fall into the behavior of seeking out abusive men. They give a dominating energy that is cheap and in full supply, even if it is extremely unhealthy. In some ways for most people relational junk food is realistically the highest romantic high they will achieve.

It feeds something inside of me. Several years ago I explored a possibility. In the course of our conversation he called me out on something. Totally appropriate. He said I had so much going for myself no one would say it. But he would. Because it disappointed him and he wanted me to be better.

My friends were livid! *lol*

I have come to learn that just because a woman appears livid does not mean she doesn't secretly like it, lol.

But I wasn't. He was right. I valued his honesty and willingness to say it. That was one of the reasons I ended up liking him so much. He wasn't afraid to challenge me. Or push me to be confront hard truths. I need it because I want to grow. I like being stretched.

A good thing to hear, an example of positive femininity. One where a woman can engage in her biological urges in a healthy and productive manner. While true egalitarianism probably demands more than that, as human beings with evolved urges we need to at least find some practical middle ground.

I love being vulnerable with a man. I've never been treated as a child. But I've encountered a lot who desire a doll. I used to share the things I did openly in the past. Their ears would perk up. They were seeking a well behaved ideal. A true looking glass. Dolls, trophies, and Stepfords are different versions of that ideal.

Sadly I am one of the men who finds that appealing. An element of toxic masculinity that I have to continually keep in check. Hope you can understand this, lol.

That only applies to the person I'm with. In my daily life I'm not like that. I march to my own drummer.

Curious, in this regard do you find more pushback coming from the socially conservative community of men or the feminist community of men?

Compliance is my weakness. Following someone's lead isn't easy. Not if you're doing right. You have to be pliable. Even when you're upset, disappointed, or scared. You have to stay open and receptive. The beauty of its unfolding ignites something in him which feeds me in turn. Losing your autonomy can be appealing with the right person.

A politically charged subject matter that needs to be contemplated and communicated with a sober and caring mind. Sadly modern discourse makes this almost impossible leaving many men and women psychologically confused and consequently unable to embrace each other to a satisfactory degree. Instead they express themselves in unhealthy outlets if at all.

We really need to challenge feminists reign in such discussions socially.

I'm laughing hard real time! I can hear you saying this. *lol*

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

Lol. My vocabulary becomes larger when it comes to talking about a subject I despise..
 
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