Meh,
Men can be enablers. They believe they're helping us. But I abhor that. I need to be held to a higher standard.
Personally I am not sure how many men actually believe they are helping women deep down. I suspect many enable purely to feel the warm fuzzy emotions the derive from being in the presence of vulnerable women. They enjoy it for the sake of it.
The problem is emotional intensity. Might be the same why many women can fall into the behavior of seeking out abusive men. They give a dominating energy that is cheap and in full supply, even if it is extremely unhealthy. In some ways for most people relational junk food is realistically the highest romantic high they will achieve.
It feeds something inside of me. Several years ago I explored a possibility. In the course of our conversation he called me out on something. Totally appropriate. He said I had so much going for myself no one would say it. But he would. Because it disappointed him and he wanted me to be better.
My friends were livid! *lol*
I have come to learn that just because a woman appears livid does not mean she doesn't secretly like it, lol.
But I wasn't. He was right. I valued his honesty and willingness to say it. That was one of the reasons I ended up liking him so much. He wasn't afraid to challenge me. Or push me to be confront hard truths. I need it because I want to grow. I like being stretched.
A good thing to hear, an example of positive femininity. One where a woman can engage in her biological urges in a healthy and productive manner. While true egalitarianism probably demands more than that, as human beings with evolved urges we need to at least find some practical middle ground.
I love being vulnerable with a man. I've never been treated as a child. But I've encountered a lot who desire a doll. I used to share the things I did openly in the past. Their ears would perk up. They were seeking a well behaved ideal. A true looking glass. Dolls, trophies, and Stepfords are different versions of that ideal.
Sadly I am one of the men who finds that appealing. An element of toxic masculinity that I have to continually keep in check. Hope you can understand this, lol.
That only applies to the person I'm with. In my daily life I'm not like that. I march to my own drummer.
Curious, in this regard do you find more pushback coming from the socially conservative community of men or the feminist community of men?
Compliance is my weakness. Following someone's lead isn't easy. Not if you're doing right. You have to be pliable. Even when you're upset, disappointed, or scared. You have to stay open and receptive. The beauty of its unfolding ignites something in him which feeds me in turn. Losing your autonomy can be appealing with the right person.
A politically charged subject matter that needs to be contemplated and communicated with a sober and caring mind. Sadly modern discourse makes this almost impossible leaving many men and women psychologically confused and consequently unable to embrace each other to a satisfactory degree. Instead they express themselves in unhealthy outlets if at all.
We really need to challenge feminists reign in such discussions socially.
I'm laughing hard real time! I can hear you saying this. *lol*
Yours in His Service,
~Bella
Lol. My vocabulary becomes larger when it comes to talking about a subject I despise..