.

Men and women have different roles in the body of Christ. Women raise our children and teach them about God at a young age, they give council to their husbands, and give charity to the fatherless. Men are call to ministry, to spread the gospel, to give bread to their families, fatherless and widows. The epistles to the Ephiseans are a great read about women.

God told me before that the only thing that's going to go slow in my life is my future marriage. I wondered how that could be, and He said that she's going to go wherever I go as far as traveling. In other words, she's hardly going to leave my side. So whatever words that would be used to describe that, you can add that to the profile as well. Maybe loyal? Perhaps some other word would be better. I don't know. I'm also going to have an incredible boldness come upon me one day and it will stay. I need a wife that will not hold a reserve when it comes to certain matters either.

Bèlla said:

What characteristics make you feel comfortable and less reserved?

~Bella

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It's going to help that she knows what she wants and doesn't beat around the bush. Because I'm going to be very upfront with her when we meet. God's given me that liberty. I just trust God will tell her what she needs to know at that time. (That I'm the one)

Bèlla said:

Danigt,

Thank you for replying. On the personal front, what qualities do you find enduring in the opposite sex?

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

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Servitude, loyalty, love, charity, companionship, council, altruism, femininity, warm, tranquility. Every men likes to feel his wife needs him and wants him. Atleast for me, men want to serve as much as they want to be serve.

Bèlla said:

Gentlemen,

Please lend me your ear. Ladies are beset with many voices. But wise ones know to seek the source and I'm addressing you.

Never mind Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and popular programs. In your opinion, what defines a woman's essence? The qualities you enjoy and can't encounter elsewhere.

What resonates with you and stimulates your masculinity like nothing can?

I appreciate your honesty and willingness to enlighten us.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

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Wow, what a question. I chicken out at this point. May I suggest Mark Gungor as one who has great insight into male/female relationships.

Bèlla said:

What resonates with you and stimulates your masculinity like nothing can?

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Someone that is happy to be a woman, happy with her femininity, and isn't trying to look or be like a man. In terms of attributes that personally turn me on:
Someone that is happy with who she is. God fearing and loving, gentle, caring, honest, conciliatory, hospitable, loyal, courageous, humble, considerate of others, communicative, looks for a balance in everything, looks to her spiritual physical and emotional welfare, has learnt to be satisfied whether that be in lack or abundance.

I hope to offer the same in kind!

Her scent. And how shiny her coat is.

So very difficult to say; I consider women to be something like a different species,
the word "fey" comes to mind, but without the darker associations. (heh. usually)

They have a kind of appreciation for beauty, they complete a circuit of joy (I am not speaking of the sexual but just the presence). Simple thoughtfulness at some times, simple appreciations, love for others. Strength in weakness despite frailties, endurance through emotional and physical trials. Childishness at some times and terrifying strength in others. Art I think. They take things lightly that I take seriously, or seriously the things that I take lightly. Spontaenuity? But perhaps I am drifting into my own personal ideals here.

Queens. A true woman really is a Queen or a Goddess. And not just a pretender. The same can be said of men, or myself. We hold them sacred. And then attempt to profane them as quickly as possible.

There was a woman once, who very much had a child's spirit; I remember playing in the ocean waves with her on a midnight, and tripping across rooves in the twilight. Time passed, and we don't see much of each other anymore. She works with autistic children, and sent me a picture of a child dancing in the raindrops. I once told her, if the whole world burned and I could save only one thing, I would save your giggle. That was years ago.

Her health (mental or physical) was never good but in early December she had and survived having a child. As Covid came in and the lockdowns began I thought of her, and worried for her, and remembered what I had said. Because it seemed the whole world was burning now, and I had saved nothing and we didn't talk much these days.

But at some point, she sent me a small video of her child being rocked in a rocker and enjoying the swinging. She wasn't in it, just her baby. But in the background, she was talking to him and swinging him and giggling. No matter what had happened, I had saved her giggle, it was on my phone.

It was enough.

Bèlla said:

Tony,

Thank you for chiming in.

You've said a mouthful! In your opinion, how can a woman behave like a man? Most of the qualities you mentioned are found in Proverbs. I recognize them.

Can you touch the benefit of being conciliatory from your perspective please? We don't hear it mentioned very often.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

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Yes, it was a bit of a mouthful Bella....in for a penny, in for a pound I say.

Acting manlike...prolly should have said 'looking' manlike....short back and sides hairstyle, aggressive nature, coarse language. I'm not saying the ladies acting this way aren't worthy of affection, I just personally find it unattractive.

Conciliatory.... a lady that's willing to try to understand the other perspective, willing to negotiate for fairness, not antagonistic, is peace loving, has a soft demeanour not hard and noisy.

In regard to a 'woman's essence', how do you see that influencing the way a woman regards a man? I hope you don't mind me turning the topic back on you, but from a man's perspective it would be useful to know.

Bèlla said:

Danigt,

Thank you for unpacking your response. Wow, you've started out with a bang!

When you say servitude what are you implying? Can you share some examples please? You mentioned need too. What makes a man feel needed? Is it something we say, do, and so on?

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

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It means acts of service, it is a way to show love.
Feel needed is just that, if the other person doesnt need us, where is the room for charity or servitude. Two powerful languages of love.

Danigt22 said:

altruism, .

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You've used a very nice word there.

For me, altruism comes before anything else. Perfection isn't what I'm looking for - as long as she's genuinely altruistic, the rest is just minor detail.

I've met women in the past who ticked all of my superficial 'criteria' - but when push came to shove, they wouldn't lift a finger to help anyone. Most of them wouldn't even apologise for bumping into you.

It stands to reason doesn't it? Altruistic wife = GOOD mother. Why would I want to marry a woman who spends two thirds of her life counting the likes on her selfie as she walks straight past the homeless person? Answer: I wouldn't.

Humility is a key element too. We all have dreams - the LORD knows I have mine, but set goals, work furiously towards them, pull all nighters, work a mind numbing job to stash the money up to FUND your projects, take pride in your stalwart work ethic, don't just do ONE thing once and expect it to all land in your lap. You'd be amazed at how many egotistical, bone-idle, brats I know. A cruel assessment, but it's got to be said.

Yes, it's curable - and NO, I'm not convinced that it's their true character, but for as long as they're like that I'm swiping them left. I don't want to be an OnlyFans hubby. Or married to a pair of eyebrows.

Other than that, I don't expect a lot. Humility and altruism are the two main components. Two traits any human being anywhere in the world can have right NOW if they want them.

Bonus points for: creativity, quirkiness, weird fashion, self deprecating humour, quality banter, empathy for animals and NOT a Tory!