Most Christians have no concept of what Heaven is really like

mmksparbud said:

Yes, know about depression in biblical figures. But it is not a way of life, it is a temporary state. And I hope it is that for you. I had to battle it myself, for I often felt as though I was in a hole, almost like a bottomless pit and I could not climb out of it. It took work, I had to train my mind to praise and thank God every time I got that way. I felt it was a way that Satan wanted to control me. So I prayed that it would be taken from me. Over time, they totally left me and was replaced with praise and thanksgiving. It was not easy, nor quick. My father was a molester, my 1st pregnancy and abortion at the age of 12, 2 more where his, I had plenty to be sorrowful about my childhood. I was never able to have children after all that. We all have our sorrows, they must not be what defines us. Without those experiences, I would not have been able to help others through their trauma. At -69 and in my condition---there will be no more boyfriends or marriages!! And yes---I did have 2 men that loved me, and have 2 stepchildren from 1st marriage. As they say---those who can do, those who can't----
reminisce! Besides, I have one gift God gave me that helped me through all this----I have a deep and weird sense of humor! I see humor in everything and I have a sarcastic streak a mile wide that has often gotten me into trouble, even on here with the mods! So, I hope your hole gets filled, or at least a cover thrown over the thing!
I also grieve at times for my beloved husky, Bear. However, get this: I gave him up in June of last year---I cried for a week, every day, all day. I had sent a letter telling all about him and my phone number for whomever got him. I got a call 8 days after I gave him to the shelter. This lady is a Native American and she calls God her creator. In Jan of that year she had gotten a word from her creator that she was going to get another dog, (she already had 2) and his name would be Bear. She got a name tag and collar and leash and everything for him and started looking, she had seen him in her dream. When she saw my bear---that was it, she knew it was him. She took him home. And she has continued to update me with photos telling me about him. It has been more like we are sharing him. What a huge blessing. I had prayed he would have another dog, he got 2, I had prayed he would get a doggie door (very important) he got one. She had just been waiting for me to give him up. I need not have spent that horrible week crying my head off! If God cares for a dog---how much more us??

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Jamdoc said:

Well, one thing that I do feel is that God will bury me in animals to take care of.
I feel like I missed my calling, that maybe I was supposed to go into veterinary medicine rather than humans. Because God told me "no not that" in a pretty resounding way when I went into the medical field for humans, even when I kept trimming back from wanting to be a doctor, He finally got fed up and gave me an autoimmune disease so I can't work in an environment with sick patients.
It's too late in this life to go back. I don't have the physical capability now and lack the resources for school even if I could.
But if I was meant to care for animals..
Would that bring me joy? Yes
but I would still feel holes in myself.
It's a little weird to think that animals will need to be cared for if they cannot die
but that's a feeling that I get that that was part of Adam and Eve's original job.

I know it's also kinda weird because every time someone talks about a calling it's like 99% it's to start a ministry and evangelize and teach people the gospel.
but I've never felt THAT calling. The calling I've always felt has always had to do with physical, not spiritual health. I did what I thought was right and I missed the mark.
But I know for certain I was never meant to be a pastor (not that I could, being single), or missionary or whatever ministry. I take it you've noticed, I'm not very good at communicating with people, in fact as a corpsman, my bedside manner was probably my biggest challenge. I can tell people truth but most of the time, I'm the last person they want to hear it from and I have great fears that if I do witness to people they reject Christ because of my own condition. In fact that has happened before when I've tried to witness. I feel like I've done more harm than good when I try to witness.

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mmksparbud said:

Oh, yes---you will find me with the biggest Bear, Tiger, Lion and Wolf---I will be running with horses and cheetahs! I will have a home in front of this big lake, with black and white swans and many ducks and other birds. It was the original work of Adam and Eve along with the garden. I think of them brushing them, taking them to the lake for a romp in the water, feeding them, and just hanging out with them, rolling in the grass. animals are wonderful and you probably did miss your calling. But only because you apparently were not listening to Him telling where to go as you aid he told you not this a few times. I was in the medicals field for almost 30 years, Resp. Therapy and Kidney dialysis. I also owned a coupe of restaurants and took care of old people in between. My calling was in the medical field. I did follow where He lead in that area at least. Totally blew it in many other areas!! No, we can't go back and fix the things we messed up. We all make mistakes that can't be corrected and end up spending a lifetime regretting. I can honestly say that God has filed all my "holes" in life. I have been greatly blessed. Well, who knows what He will still bring us. I just keep trying to keep in His presence as long as I am here. I do not fear death---been there done that!! Went into resp. failure twice after surgeries. The last one put me into a 2 month coma. But I had a dream where I was in a room full of water, I was fighting furiously to tear throw a thick net. All of a sudden, I just gave up fighting and said "Whatever you want Lord, whatever you want." Instantly, I felt as though I was in His arms, I totally relaxed, and I could breathe. I've felt I was in His arms ever sense. Never want to leave.

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Jamdoc said:

I thought He was just putting obstacles in my way to overcome.

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mmksparbud said:

LOL!! "What we have here, is failure to communicate!!" Someone got their wires crossed? Don't hate it when that happens?!

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Jamdoc said:

yeah.. very bitterly. It actually got me thinking, maybe that was the way that led to me being married and a father, a way that I'd have been happy and not feared missing out on anything, God had a plan and I blew it and now the replacement plan isn't as good.

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mmksparbud said:

You never know. The last weeding I went to---he was 89 and she was 87 and in a wheelchair! At that age, you can't aim too high!

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Jamdoc said:

well in the 80's.. there aren't gonna be any kids. and with my genetics, it's probably a bad idea anyway.
I honestly don't expect to make it that long anyway. truthfully, I don't expect I'll have to with how the world is looking.

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mmksparbud said:

I do look forward to the day He returns and I see Him, and I can run away from this wheelchair!

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mmksparbud said:

I take God at His word, when He says there will be nor more tears

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parousia70 said:

So we won't be able to cry tears of Joy there?
Ever been so happy about something you cry tears of Joy?

No tears of pain and no tears of Joy there... just kind of a middle of the road, somewhat Prozac like, existence?

No extremes.... Catatonic, even keel, go about your business... not too happy, not too sad...

Really?

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