Am I divorced?

Jon G · Oct 12, 2020

So I was married. She cheated on me. I wanted to make it work but she didn't. After much turmoil I signed the papers but I didn't divorce her in my heart. I was not going to fight with her any longer. We have a son together. We do have a nice relationship with each other. Heres the thing. She remarried and that marriage is potentially failing. My question is...could it be that because I only divorced her on paper and not in my heart that she is in fact living in sin with the new guy? Is she still my wife in God's eyes?? Please help.

NerdGirl · Oct 12, 2020

I don't think that's what it is, my friend. I'm sorry for what you've been through, but she left and remarried and you need to move on.

miamited · Oct 12, 2020

Hi jon,

I believe that the Scriptures are clear that your wife is a fornicator. You will be also if you have sexual relations with someone other than your wife. It's a tough thing to accept, but it's also one of the greatest reasons that Jesus had to die.

Trust in Jesus.

God bless,
Ted

Albion · Oct 12, 2020

But you did divorce her. If you felt different in your heart, you nevertheless did divorce her.

Jon G · Oct 12, 2020

NerdGirl123 said:
I don't think that's what it is, my friend. I'm sorry for what you've been through, but she left and remarried and you need to move on.

Thank you for your reply. But I am looking for biblical advice: in God's eyes are we divorced?

NerdGirl · Oct 12, 2020

Jon G said:
Thank you for your reply. But I am looking for biblical advice: in God's eyes are we divorced?

You need to ask God if you only want an answer from God and not your fellow believers.

Marriage takes two. Your wife broke her vow, left you, and remarried. You are not still married to her in any way. It just sounds like you're having trouble getting over her, and for that, you have my sympathy.

timothyu · Oct 12, 2020

Jon G said:
But I am looking for biblical advice: in God's eyes are we divorced?

Yes in God's eyes you are according to the scripture. She was the adulterer and whoever she then is with is an adulterer. You are not. Matthew 5:32

Jon G · Oct 12, 2020

NerdGirl123 said:
You need to ask God if you only want an answer from God and not your fellow believers.

Marriage takes two. Your wife broke her vow, left you, and remarried. You are not still married to her in any way. It just sounds like you're having trouble getting over her, and for that, you have my sympathy.

Thank you!

Andrewn · Oct 12, 2020

Jon G said:
After much turmoil I signed the papers but I didn't divorce her in my heart.

It sounds like you're still married to her. But she's not married to you. Sad, but not uncommon.

NerdGirl · Oct 12, 2020

Jon G said:
Thank you!

I'm really sorry that you're still struggling over it. I pray God helps you heal. I know it isn't easy.

Jon G · Oct 12, 2020

NerdGirl123 said:
I'm really sorry that you're still struggling over it. I pray God helps you heal. I know it isn't easy.

Thank you. I have to be honest, the memories do hurt sometimes, but I'm not asking out of emotional despair. Its been over two years and I am doing well. I have a great relationship with her and our son is very well taken care of by both of us, so I'm good lol. I'm genuinely just curious if the divorce is valid in God's eyes just because I signed a piece of paper.

NerdGirl · Oct 12, 2020

Jon G said:
Thank you. I have to be honest, the memories do hurt sometimes, but I'm not asking out of emotional despair. Its been over two years and I am doing well. I have a great relationship with her and our son is very well taken care of by both of us, so I'm good lol. I'm genuinely just curious if the divorce is valid in God's eyes just because I signed a piece of paper.

You said you never divorced her in your heart; that made it sound like you still harbor feelings and/or hope for reconciliation, especially when you add that her current marriage is failing.

I'm glad if you're good and well and have moved on

pdudgeon · Oct 12, 2020

Jon G said:
So I was married. She cheated on me. I wanted to make it work but she didn't. After much turmoil I signed the papers but I didn't divorce her in my heart. I was not going to fight with her any longer. We have a son together. We do have a nice relationship with each other. Heres the thing. She remarried and that marriage is potentially failing. My question is...could it be that because I only divorced her on paper and not in my heart that she is in fact living in sin with the new guy? Is she still my wife in God's eyes?? Please help.

To be quite honest, these days whether you are divorced or not depends on which church you attend, and how they interpret the Bible.
Get some spiritual counseling from your Pastor on the issue, and pray for your wife.

A_Thinker · Oct 12, 2020

Jon G said:
Thank you for your reply. But I am looking for biblical advice: in God's eyes are we divorced?

Per Paul, if your wife left you and married another, you are not bound to her (i.e. you are divorced).

Jon G · Oct 12, 2020

NerdGirl123 said:
You said you never divorced her in your heart; that made it sound like you still harbor feelings and/or hope for reconciliation, especially when you add that her current marriage is failing.

I'm glad if you're good and well and have moved on

Ah yes. Both of those are true. I just want to know if, according to the Bible, we are still married. I will go forward with faith either way.. God either wants us to remain as one or he doesn't. I'm ok either way. I'm not going to go forth with our marriage on my mind if we are not married.

Jon G · Oct 12, 2020

A_Thinker said:
Per Paul, if your wife left you and married another, you are not bound to her (i.e. you are divorced).

Thank you. Can you point me to the scripture?

NerdGirl · Oct 12, 2020

Jon G said:
Ah yes. Both of those are true. I just want to know if, according to the Bible, we are still married. I will go forward with faith either way.. God either wants us to remain as one or he doesn't. I'm ok either way. I'm not going to go forth with our marriage on my mind if we are not married.

The "oneness" ended the moment she cheated on you, in my humble opinion. I know it must have been a heartbreaking thing to go through.

Sketcher · Oct 12, 2020

Jon G said:
So I was married. She cheated on me. I wanted to make it work but she didn't. After much turmoil I signed the papers but I didn't divorce her in my heart. I was not going to fight with her any longer. We have a son together. We do have a nice relationship with each other. Heres the thing. She remarried and that marriage is potentially failing. My question is...could it be that because I only divorced her on paper and not in my heart that she is in fact living in sin with the new guy? Is she still my wife in God's eyes?? Please help.

1) You are divorced, you signed the papers.
2) She is not justified in continuing this relationship with this person, nor would she be justified in beginning a relationship with someone else. Matthew 19:9 and 1 Corinthians 7:39 describe the situation perfectly.

miamited · Oct 12, 2020

timothyu said:
Yes in God's eyes you are according to the scripture. She was the adulterer and whoever she then is with is an adulterer. You are not. Matthew 5:32

Hi tim,

I'm not sure that final bit of advice is correct. Jesus said that whoever leaves their marriage is an adulterer and makes the other party an adulterer, also.

God bless,
Ted

A_Thinker · Oct 12, 2020

Jon G said:
Thank you. Can you point me to the scripture?

1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

Am I divorced?

Member

The untamed daughter

Ted

Facilitator

Member

The untamed daughter

Well-Known Member

Member

Well-Known Member

The untamed daughter

Member

The untamed daughter

Traditional Catholic

Well-Known Member

Member

Member

The untamed daughter

Born Imperishable

Ted

Well-Known Member

Similar threads