How do I deal with my 13 year old gay grandson?

Alienating your grandson over something so petty as a nickname is rather childish . Judith I think you need to cave on this one. He’s not putting his life in danger or taking drugs which would necessitate putting your foot down . Also since it’s bothering you so much, I would take the advice of another poster and read up on sexual dysphoria . Nagging and being cruel and toxic is not going to help if this is your grandsons real issue

Judith Works said:

I need help please. My grandson who is 13 wants me to call him Nova - not Noah - anymore and to use pronouns like they/them when I am talking to him. I told his mom no. She supports him 100%. She is not a Christian. He went to church with me for 10 years or more and then decided he did not want to go anymore. That was fine. I understood. Do I call him those names now? I told them no and I was adamant but I dont know what to do now - as I have pushed them away. Our daughter holds us a grudge too for the past and seems very angry with us. Im at a loss now. Please help me with advice.

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First and foremost apply the two greatest commandments (Mt. 22:37-39.). If you are loving God, you are living in obedience. So you must stand on His word. And you must love your grandson. It is not for us to judge anyone, but to love them, regardless of their circumstances. Tell him that you love him no matter what, but that you cannot love what he is doing - love the sinner but not the sin. Treat him with respect and dignity but don't pander to the forces at work within him. Pray for him and for his parents for their misguided ways. If you have an opening, you can ask him if you can explain your opposition, and pull out that Bible! It is so hard nowadays for a child living in these times. To better understand what he has had to endure, see https://godcherishesyou.com/a-devilish-indoctrination/ and What Are We Teaching Our Children? - God Cherishes You

Judith Works said:

I need help please. My grandson who is 13 wants me to call him Nova - not Noah - anymore and to use pronouns like they/them when I am talking to him. I told his mom no. She supports him 100%. She is not a Christian. He went to church with me for 10 years or more and then decided he did not want to go anymore. That was fine. I understood. Do I call him those names now? I told them no and I was adamant but I dont know what to do now - as I have pushed them away. Our daughter holds us a grudge too for the past and seems very angry with us. Im at a loss now. Please help me with advice.

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Why did you tell them "no"? If my grandchildren want to use different names, I'll call them those names. Why? Because God shows unconditional love to me, and I want to show them that same love, while expressing my disapproval for their lifestyle only when they ask me my opinion. When God provides me with opportunities to witness to them about what God has done in my life and what I believe based on his Word, I do prayerfully and lovingly. Otherwise, I pray persistently for them daily.

Maybe you can ask him if he heard of the comic character named "Nova". If he finds out that name is more of a male superhero name and then decides to change it then he is likely being a leftist poser.

The enemy would like you to give in and compromise. The whole world had turned evil in the sight of God over hundreds of years, yet Noah by reverence to God saved mankind. You named him well and should keep calling him Noah. Also tell him that you love him and so does God. If you ever see an opening tell him the story of his name.

Judith Works said:

I need help please. My grandson who is 13 wants me to call him Nova - not Noah - anymore and to use pronouns like they/them when I am talking to him. I told his mom no. She supports him 100%. She is not a Christian. He went to church with me for 10 years or more and then decided he did not want to go anymore. That was fine. I understood. Do I call him those names now? I told them no and I was adamant but I dont know what to do now - as I have pushed them away. Our daughter holds us a grudge too for the past and seems very angry with us. Im at a loss now. Please help me with advice.

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You call him by his preferred names, though make it clear it is an adjustment for you to get used to. If he asks, be honest and tell him that God doesn't approve of his lifestyle, but if he is not part of the church, then he is in the world and sin is part of the world so this is sort of to be expected.

Judith Works said:

I need help please. My grandson who is 13 wants me to call him Nova - not Noah - anymore and to use pronouns like they/them when I am talking to him. I told his mom no. She supports him 100%. She is not a Christian. He went to church with me for 10 years or more and then decided he did not want to go anymore. That was fine. I understood. Do I call him those names now? I told them no and I was adamant but I dont know what to do now - as I have pushed them away. Our daughter holds us a grudge too for the past and seems very angry with us. Im at a loss now. Please help me with advice.

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So call them Nova. They didn’t ask if you approve and frankly it doesn’t matter. They asked for a display of your love and respect.

Judith Works said:

I need help please. My grandson who is 13 wants me to call him Nova - not Noah - anymore and to use pronouns like they/them when I am talking to him. I told his mom no. She supports him 100%. She is not a Christian. He went to church with me for 10 years or more and then decided he did not want to go anymore. That was fine. I understood. Do I call him those names now? I told them no and I was adamant but I dont know what to do now - as I have pushed them away. Our daughter holds us a grudge too for the past and seems very angry with us. Im at a loss now. Please help me with advice.

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His legal name is Noah (unless he has legally changed his name).

The whole pronouns thing going on these days is absolutely silly, don't enable it. He is a male, and in the English language we call him: He, His, Him, You.

All else is enabling a mass-delusion.

I would call him nova just to be nice and pray for him.

I would advise taking it out of the specific context for a moment, and consider what might be needed to love God and to love your grandson as your would have your grandson love you.
Love God as someone who has overlooked (or forgiven) all that you have done wrong. God has done so, just because it was offered and you said, yes please.
Now, consider how to love your grandson as God has loved you. How often have you asked for, expected, or accepted God calling you Beloved when your true name was Sinner? Sometimes we (or our father) overlooks things, because we know to do otherwise will break the relationship. Why would we hold our young to a standard that we ourselves cannot live up to?
This situation is hard. I wouldn't pretend otherwise. It is awkward. I'm sure your grandchild knows this. They are looking for your love and support as a person, not as a gender or sexual preference. Seek their truest self and love them as much as you can. It is what Jesus would want.

To everyone who is giving theological advice, allow the grandmother space to figure a way to keep her family close, while staying true to her beliefs. In such a way some have entertained angels.

Sparagmos said:

I suggest you read up on gender dysphoria, both from a medical perspective and from the perspective of someone experiencing it. Like any medical condition, it is something that happens to people, not something that they pretend. In laypersons terms, wires are crossed in the brain. A person may have the body of a woman, but the brain of a man. This causes real anguish as they have to “pretend” to be something different than what their brain tells them they are.

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^This

Judith Works said:

I need help please. My grandson who is 13 wants me to call him Nova - not Noah - anymore and to use pronouns like they/them when I am talking to him. I told his mom no. She supports him 100%. She is not a Christian. He went to church with me for 10 years or more and then decided he did not want to go anymore. That was fine. I understood. Do I call him those names now? I told them no and I was adamant but I dont know what to do now - as I have pushed them away. Our daughter holds us a grudge too for the past and seems very angry with us. Im at a loss now. Please help me with advice.

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There are two choices in which how to deal with this issue: (1) The truth, as God has revealed to us in His Holy Word, the Bible, or (2) the humanistic worldly approach with answers that are often filled with lies and deceit, meant to distract us from the truth.

One approach relies on God, the other on man. It used to be satan who convinced everyone not to keep The Commandments. Now it's the "Christians."

If you push your grandson away, you will regret it. Be kind, be loving, and if he wants to be called something different - so be it. They know that you don't approve, but you've made your point. If they're 400 miles away, that is already enough of a barrier. Don't put up any more.

Call him grandson going forward and pray he doesn't ask you to call him granddaughter.

Keep calling him by his real name. If the time comes where he continues to insist on this madness disown him. Your not the one who is disfunctional he is and probably his parents most likely the deranged mom. There comes a time to cut off such nonsense for your own health and sanity.

buzuxi02 said:

If the time comes where he continues to insist on this madness disown him

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And this is why there is such a high suicide rate among LGBT people. What other sins would you disown your own grandchild for?

Sparagmos said:

And this is why there is such a high suicide rate among LGBT people. What other sins would you disown your own grandchild for?

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No it's not. They have a high suicide rate because most are mentally ill. With all the exogenous hormones they take and other imbalances of course it's going to happen. But braindead society puts the blame elsewhere, making everyone mentally ill.

Gays are more mentally ill because most have been subjected to almost unrelenting emotional abuse as soon as they realize they’re gay. A lot have had to deal with being abandoned to homelessness and other types of financial abuse . Thinking your family hates you and wants you to die is a horrible burden to put on a child . Even being questioned and accused constantly is burdensome and upsetting.

I grew up with a toxic male chauvinist idiot father who had an extremely limited idea of what was acceptable for women to do. The fact that I wanted to learn how to use tools or run track and hang out with my best friend was enough for him to continually accuse me of being a lesbian . Since I’m not gay it bothered me until I realized he was an ignorant and immature man. This is why I told Judith to leave her grandson alone . My uncle also used to do this to his oldest son who also wasn’t gay and I remember him being in tears because this is so distressing . I have sympathy for gay people because I couldn’t imagine being gay for real and being subjected to even more toxic emotional and verbal abuse along with the fact that it’s semi acceptable among some religious people to physically abuse and even murder gays.

I’ve got a biology degree and being gay is a part of the range of human behaviors and it’s natural . The gender switch happens during fetal development and it’s permanent. You’re just lying to yourself if you think you can change someone’s sexual orientation by brainwashing them . You’re just gaslighting and harassing them.

Tropical Wilds said:

They asked for a display of your love and respect.

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.... and the greatest way to do that properly, is to love God first and foremost. Since God abhors any form of homosexuality, indeed, abhors all forms of sexual impurity and immorality, I would suggest your advice is not loving to God, and indeed is dishonourable to Him. Christians must honour God first, then honour the rest of us providing that form of ‘honouring’ doesn’t dishonour God.

If you are not a Christian then you’ll make your own judgements based on what society or your conscience thinks.

If you are Christian and suggest that something is legally or morally ok, and it is not so in heaven, then be prepared for the consequences which may even be your spiritual death. Be careful as to what you promote as being behaviour that’s acceptable to God. Warning given in love.

Since God made gays the way they are, what right do you have to continually abuse them emotionally and verbally ? And not all Christians believe that the prejudices of a Bronze Age tribe should be continued in the 21st century .