Hello From a Struggling Christian

Welcome to CF

Thank you for sharing a little bit about yourself.

I hope you enjoy your conversations here.

Bekuta_ said:

Hey, my name is Bekuta. I'm 20 years old, from Massachusetts.
I grew up Baptist, until I was about 10 years old. Out of the blue, my family stopped going to church, and religion just sort of stopped being a part of my life. Throughout my early to mid teens, I was a pretty militant atheist, and prided myself on "owning Christians". I still remember the open hostility I showed on the couple occasions I had to go to church for some family event. Looking back, it was just my way of feeling superior, even if I was just putting down other people for their beliefs.

That stopped after about 16; I opened up to religion a lot more and understood it was an important part of people's lives. Around that same time I had also dabbled in Paganism. It was mostly out of interest for my heritage, and it was nice feeling that sort of connection to nature. But those beliefs fell through around the time I turned 17, and I started to get drawn back towards Christ. For the past couple years I had been struggling in finding my footing, until very recently when I decided I needed to fully devote myself to the Lord. I try not to look back on any of my previous religious (or non-religious) phases, with disdain; I consider them integral steps that, in the end, lead me back to God.

I still feel myself struggling to find my foothold in my beliefs sometimes: sometimes wondering how much I actually believe, or if it's even worth it. But I know that God loves me, even on those days when I question myself, and I just have to find the will to keep moving forward.

I'm hoping that joining this forum will allow me to meet some new people, and will help me in my journey of making God a part of my life. I look forward to getting to meet you all, and I hope you're all doing great.

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Welcome to the forums.
I grew up in Methuen. Lived in NH for 20 years BUT currently reside (somewhat sadly) in NJ.
Thanks for sharing your testimony.
Yes, you need to find the will to move forward, but being a Christian means that you realize that you are an insignificant nothing unable to do anything unless Jesus enables you. It's seeing yourself as the exact opposite of what you thought about yourself when you were fighting against Him.
So, moving forward basically means positioning yourself beneath His almighty arm to protect you from everything that wants to pull you away from Him.
Lots of great people on here.
May the Lord bless you and strengthen you, friend.

Welcome to CF Bekuta!

Welcome to CF! Enjoy your stay with us!!

Welcome to C.F.!

Glad to have you.

Hello and welcome to the CF!

Good to see you posting here. Be a blessings to others as much as you can and the blessings will come back to you in return.

i hope Christ will restore you in all your divided heart, so that united in Him you may bring praise to God.

Hi and welcome here.

Isn't God good...

Watching your journey and drawing you back to Himself with love is a beautiful thing.

May your life be enriched among us - many here have made a similar journey so you are in good company.

Hello welcome to CF,.. I think that we all struggle from time to time in our faith but just know above all that Jesus loves you.

Welcome and i hope you make good friends here. Have a great day

Bekuta_ said:

Hey, my name is Bekuta. I'm 20 years old, from Massachusetts.
I grew up Baptist, until I was about 10 years old. Out of the blue, my family stopped going to church, and religion just sort of stopped being a part of my life. Throughout my early to mid teens, I was a pretty militant atheist, and prided myself on "owning Christians". I still remember the open hostility I showed on the couple occasions I had to go to church for some family event. Looking back, it was just my way of feeling superior, even if I was just putting down other people for their beliefs.

That stopped after about 16; I opened up to religion a lot more and understood it was an important part of people's lives. Around that same time I had also dabbled in Paganism. It was mostly out of interest for my heritage, and it was nice feeling that sort of connection to nature. But those beliefs fell through around the time I turned 17, and I started to get drawn back towards Christ. For the past couple years I had been struggling in finding my footing, until very recently when I decided I needed to fully devote myself to the Lord. I try not to look back on any of my previous religious (or non-religious) phases, with disdain; I consider them integral steps that, in the end, lead me back to God.

I still feel myself struggling to find my foothold in my beliefs sometimes: sometimes wondering how much I actually believe, or if it's even worth it. But I know that God loves me, even on those days when I question myself, and I just have to find the will to keep moving forward.

I'm hoping that joining this forum will allow me to meet some new people, and will help me in my journey of making God a part of my life. I look forward to getting to meet you all, and I hope you're all doing great.

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Hi and welcome to the forums.

I am pleased another one of Christ sheep who lost their footing is back in the fold.

As for you youth I think this below pretty much answers anything about it or doubts you may have;
12Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

Doubts creep in with all believers, I pray for my faith to be strengthened a great deal in this world of deceit and one of the things that keeps me, is searching for truth in GOD’s Word which affirms much in Science, Archaeology, and Prophecy.

I think it helps to keep company with Christians who are also on a journey searching truth and not just jumping on a church doctrine bandwagon. Many fall away because of doctrines and seeing Christians the same as everybody else and doing as everybody else. This is not what we are called to do. We are suppose to bring honor and glory to GOD on our journey and to grow in fruits of the Spirit.

This is good thing to remember, we are saved for good works.

I don’t know if you are aware of this but your calling is from GOD Himself, HE knew you from the beginning and knew you were special to HIM.

Below is straight out of scripture not my words;
God from the beginning chose you for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth

You will come to realize at some point you are part of the one true church, the body of Christ, not an organization made by man.

Peace be with you Sister


We no longer look to be served. We look to serve and give our lives for others. No longer fight for privilege, influence and status. We esteem others better than ourselves and put their interests above our own.

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him

Hello Bekuta,
welcome to CF.

I hope you'll enjoy your stay here.

Bekuta_ said:

Hey, my name is Bekuta. I'm 20 years old, from Massachusetts.
...
I still feel myself struggling to find my foothold in my beliefs sometimes: sometimes wondering how much I actually believe, or if it's even worth it. ... .

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It is great that you have humbly returned to the fold. At your age I was lost and for another ten more years. I suggest that you just keep reading the Word, meditating it, memorizing it, and meeting the person of Jesus. Do not get bogged down in difficult issues but focus first on your relationship with Christ. Get to know Him and you will be alright.

Welcome to CF!
I think that you've had an amazing journey thru life so far. I'm glad that you found your way here to us, and I really look forward to seeing how things develop for you.

As someone who is even now STILL learning how to "Do Life", I can relate to what you have gone through, and I have some good news!
As long as we live, God gives all of us a chance to learn something new about Him every day.
And the opportunity to learn never stops, because God is all around us.

Bekuta_ said:

Hey, my name is Bekuta. I'm 20 years old, from Massachusetts.
I grew up Baptist, until I was about 10 years old. Out of the blue, my family stopped going to church, and religion just sort of stopped being a part of my life. Throughout my early to mid teens, I was a pretty militant atheist, and prided myself on "owning Christians". I still remember the open hostility I showed on the couple occasions I had to go to church for some family event. Looking back, it was just my way of feeling superior, even if I was just putting down other people for their beliefs.

That stopped after about 16; I opened up to religion a lot more and understood it was an important part of people's lives. Around that same time I had also dabbled in Paganism. It was mostly out of interest for my heritage, and it was nice feeling that sort of connection to nature. But those beliefs fell through around the time I turned 17, and I started to get drawn back towards Christ. For the past couple years I had been struggling in finding my footing, until very recently when I decided I needed to fully devote myself to the Lord. I try not to look back on any of my previous religious (or non-religious) phases, with disdain; I consider them integral steps that, in the end, lead me back to God.

I still feel myself struggling to find my foothold in my beliefs sometimes: sometimes wondering how much I actually believe, or if it's even worth it. But I know that God loves me, even on those days when I question myself, and I just have to find the will to keep moving forward.

I'm hoping that joining this forum will allow me to meet some new people, and will help me in my journey of making God a part of my life. I look forward to getting to meet you all, and I hope you're all doing great.

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yeah, you really not should try to offend christians...i mean no offense...but you gotta admit christianity can have infinite lessons on something like an envelope...
to me...that's like native american philosophy like how everything has an identity...
but look, think and believe whatever you want to get through times...if that is what you require...
direct your questions to christians like i do...good luck...

Hi, welcome here! I admire how humble and clearheaded you sound. I'm sure you have a lot to bring to CF, I hope you will enjoy your stay!