Wrong section maybe?

Neostarwcc · Sep 22, 2020

No clue if this is in the right section or not. Im getting sick of being a wuss and posting all kinds of new threads on CF about the same stuff going on in my personal life. I'm NOT happy in any way, shape, or form nor do I think that that's what God wanted for me. The road to happiness is full of all kinds of misery. Im not meant to be happy I'm here to be a slave of Christ and a slave to mankind and quite frankly it angers me a little when people say I can be happy. I dont think that's quite possible being that im completely off my rocker and right now I'm stuck in the biggest bipolar low that I've ever had in my ENTIRE life.

But nobody realizes what a bipolar low is like except those who have experienced it. I dont care what therapists or psychiatrists or what anyone else says. When im having a manic low its impossible to be happy. Idc what mind control tricks you try on me, its not possible. Also?

Several close people of mine are just dying. One of which was regleghunter who recently passed away from cancer and everyone knows from the forums. Another was a friend of several years who died from an opium overdose because he tried to buy heroin and a dealer sold him pure opium instead. 3 of my grandparents died within the last 5 years many from cancer. Theres a thread specifically tied to regleghunter but I couldn't reply to it. Why? Because I feel so guilty because he begged for prayers before he died and I didn't say a thing. Im filled with guilt and sorrow and I mourn with the rest of CF on his passing. When I pass I dont want there to be a thread for me. I dont want peopke to know or cry for me. I just... want to fade away from you guys.

Trust me when I say this. I am NOT suicidal. It doesn't matter how horrible my life gets I made a commitment to Jesus to be in it for the long haul. it doesnt matter how horrible im feeling, I have a mission to do for Christ and its not my time to go home until my mission is over. Not when I say its over.

I called my Christian counselor that im paying nearly $300 a month to see a false prophet directly to my wife and im considering doing so directly to his face because he and every other worldly counselor seems to think a man who is mentally ill and a follower of Jesus.

People say im a narcissist who doesn't care about people and takes advantage of everybody but the far is fro, the truth. I'm a very caring human being, I just think nothing of myself yet , the world revolves around me and should revolve around "poor old me." I keep telling therapists and psychiatrists dont even attempt to examine my brain because its something that cannot be examined. I'm a one of a kind complete psychopath.

But at the same time, don't think that I don't have a heart or that I don't care because that is FAR from the truth. I love you guys more than anything, I love my wife more than anything and the only people I know in my life are my wife, mother, and you guys. I do, I've loved virtually every member of CF since I first made my dedication to Chrisg and became a member here. I may be massively screwed up in the head, but I know what love is. Ty for reading, ty for not I really don't care. I just wanted to talk somewhere that wasn't my Christian counselor telling me I'm experiencing extreme hardships in the spiritual realm.

Amittai · Sep 22, 2020

1. You don't come over to me as a psychopath
2. Prayers were asked for and you didn't "say" them but I am convinced your heart "beamed" them towards God.

A_Thinker · Sep 22, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
No clue if this is in the right section or not. Im getting sick of being a wuss and posting all kinds of new threads on CF about the same stuff going on in my personal life. I'm NOT happy in any way, shape, or form nor do I think that that's what God wanted for me. The road to happiness is full of all kinds of misery. Im not meant to be happy I'm here to be a slave of Christ and a slave to mankind and quite frankly it angers me a little when people say I can be happy. I dont think that's quite possible being that im completely off my rocker and right now I'm stuck in the biggest bipolar low that I've ever had in my ENTIRE life.

But nobody realizes what a bipolar low is like except those who have experienced it. I dont care what therapists or psychiatrists or what anyone else says. When im having a manic low its impossible to be happy. Idc what mind control tricks you try on me, its not possible. Also?

Several close people of mine are just dying. One of which was regleghunter who recently passed away from cancer and everyone knows from the forums. Another was a friend of several years who died from an opium overdose because he tried to buy heroin and a dealer sold him pure opium instead. 3 of my grandparents died within the last 5 years many from cancer. Theres a thread specifically tied to regleghunter but I couldn't reply to it. Why? Because I feel so guilty because he begged for prayers before he died and I didn't say a thing. Im filled with guilt and sorrow and I mourn with the rest of CF on his passing. When I pass I dont want there to be a thread for me. I dont want peopke to know or cry for me. I just... want to fade away from you guys.

Trust me when I say this. I am NOT suicidal. It doesn't matter how horrible my life gets I made a commitment to Jesus to be in it for the long haul. it doesnt matter how horrible im feeling, I have a mission to do for Christ and its not my time to go home until my mission is over. Not when I say its over.

I called my Christian counselor that im paying nearly $300 a month to see a false prophet directly to my wife and im considering doing so directly to his face because he and every other worldly counselor seems to think a man who is mentally ill and a follower of Jesus.

People say im a narcissist who doesn't care about people and takes advantage of everybody but the far is fro, the truth. I'm a very caring human being, I just think nothing of myself yet , the world revolves around me and should revolve around "poor old me." I keep telling therapists and psychiatrists dont even attempt to examine my brain because its something that cannot be examined. I'm a one of a kind complete psychopath.

But at the same time, don't think that I don't have a heart or that I don't care because that is FAR from the truth. I love you guys more than anything, I love my wife more than anything and the only people I know in my life are my wife, mother, and you guys. I do, I've loved virtually every member of CF since I first made my dedication to Chrisg and became a member here. I may be massively screwed up in the head, but I know what love is. Ty for reading, ty for not I really don't care. I just wanted to talk somewhere that wasn't my Christian counselor telling me I'm experiencing extreme hardships in the spiritual realm.

I certainly haven't experienced you as a narcissist or a psychopath. You sound like someone who is encountering a level of difficulty in this life, which you are willing to share with your brothers and sisters.

I would add that it is the experience of many christians that life is tough, ... so please do not feel that you are being uniquely burdened.

I have gone through tough periods in my life, where, essentially the only thing I had to hold onto was God, ... and the love of my brothers and sisters in Christ.

The most recent of these periods lasted three years, ... and ended just a year ago. It is hard for me to affirm that I had a day of happiness in those years. It was like being a soldier at war ... it can be hard to "enjoy" that. My pastor was just recently talking about how we should "enjoy" all that God has placed in our lives. For myself, I don't how that could be true.

I'd like to do something to help you in your journey. It's just an offering ... so, no pressure. Just an offering ...

Strive to see yourself as God's child ... and understand that sometimes you will be up ... and sometimes you will be down. It's okay.

Know that God understands that you are struggling ... and that He, ever so gently and steadily, perhaps, ... is bringing you through.

Rest in the truth that God expects no more from you ... than what you are able to manage at this point.

Try to find elements of life ... which please you ... and raise your spirits. God gives us these things ... to balance the evils and sorrows which we must bear. There is no weakness in reveling in the gifts God gives to hold us up.

Handle ever so lightly as you can ... those things which cause us pain in this life. If we try to take it all in ... and try and process it all ... it will be too much for us. There is only so much that we can bear ... and God doesn't require that we bear more than our share.

So I don't have to despair that I haven't met every need, ... or witnessed to every person, ... or grieved every loss, ... or tried to ameliorate every heartache. That really is God's responsibility. I am just His child ... and am only called to smile, ... or to give a kind word, or a hug ... when I can.

Be blessed Neostarwcc. You are not alone. We struggle and sorrow with you.

You have my prayers for your good.

Your brother forever,

Chuck

pdudgeon · Sep 22, 2020

((HUGS))

Paul4JC · Sep 22, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
No clue if this is in the right section or not. Im getting sick of being a wuss and posting all kinds of new threads on CF about the same stuff going on in my personal life. I'm NOT happy in any way, shape, or form nor do I think that that's what God wanted for me. The road to happiness is full of all kinds of misery. Im not meant to be happy I'm here to be a slave of Christ and a slave to mankind and quite frankly it angers me a little when people say I can be happy. I dont think that's quite possible being that im completely off my rocker and right now I'm stuck in the biggest bipolar low that I've ever had in my ENTIRE life.

But nobody realizes what a bipolar low is like except those who have experienced it. I dont care what therapists or psychiatrists or what anyone else says. When im having a manic low its impossible to be happy. Idc what mind control tricks you try on me, its not possible. Also?

Several close people of mine are just dying. One of which was regleghunter who recently passed away from cancer and everyone knows from the forums. Another was a friend of several years who died from an opium overdose because he tried to buy heroin and a dealer sold him pure opium instead. 3 of my grandparents died within the last 5 years many from cancer. Theres a thread specifically tied to regleghunter but I couldn't reply to it. Why? Because I feel so guilty because he begged for prayers before he died and I didn't say a thing. Im filled with guilt and sorrow and I mourn with the rest of CF on his passing. When I pass I dont want there to be a thread for me. I dont want peopke to know or cry for me. I just... want to fade away from you guys.

Trust me when I say this. I am NOT suicidal. It doesn't matter how horrible my life gets I made a commitment to Jesus to be in it for the long haul. it doesnt matter how horrible im feeling, I have a mission to do for Christ and its not my time to go home until my mission is over. Not when I say its over.

I called my Christian counselor that im paying nearly $300 a month to see a false prophet directly to my wife and im considering doing so directly to his face because he and every other worldly counselor seems to think a man who is mentally ill and a follower of Jesus.

People say im a narcissist who doesn't care about people and takes advantage of everybody but the far is fro, the truth. I'm a very caring human being, I just think nothing of myself yet , the world revolves around me and should revolve around "poor old me." I keep telling therapists and psychiatrists dont even attempt to examine my brain because its something that cannot be examined. I'm a one of a kind complete psychopath.

But at the same time, don't think that I don't have a heart or that I don't care because that is FAR from the truth. I love you guys more than anything, I love my wife more than anything and the only people I know in my life are my wife, mother, and you guys. I do, I've loved virtually every member of CF since I first made my dedication to Chrisg and became a member here. I may be massively screwed up in the head, but I know what love is. Ty for reading, ty for not I really don't care. I just wanted to talk somewhere that wasn't my Christian counselor telling me I'm experiencing extreme hardships in the spiritual realm.

(Going back to basics in the only thing that keeps me going. Do my best, repent and go to the cross when I fail. Try my best again. God is easy to live with. I didn't know him but from what i've heard of him, I'm sure regleghunter would have forgiven you and loved you the same.)

Lord we pray for Neostarwcc. Help him along his journey. We all have to take up our cross and follow you, yet we all fail. Thanks that you are the author and perfecter of our faith, and we can focus on you. When we fail, we confess it, and move on, as it's covered by your love on the cross for us. None of us does it all perfectly, if we did, we wouldn't need your salvation. Help us not to look at others, and ourselves but to you. Thank you. In Jesus name, Amen.

2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. [Heb 12:2 NASB]

Pavel Mosko · Sep 22, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
I dont think that's quite possible being that im completely off my rocker and right now I'm stuck in the biggest bipolar low that I've ever had in my ENTIRE life.

Yes and I seem to recall you have had some big health issues too, as far as your digestive system and needing surgery goes.

Neostarwcc said:
But at the same time, don't think that I don't have a heart or that I don't care because that is FAR from the truth. I love you guys more than anything, I love my wife more than anything and the only people I know in my life are my wife, mother, and you guys. I do, I've loved virtually every member of CF since I first made my dedication to Chrisg and became a member here. I may be massively screwed up in the head, but I know what love is. Ty for reading, ty for not I really don't care. I just wanted to talk somewhere that wasn't my Christian counselor telling me I'm experiencing extreme hardships in the spiritual realm.

Sometimes things are tough and there just aren't any easy answers. I got some life long issues I'm dealing with myself, and thinking about them this morning I was considering giving up hope. In spite of everything though there usually are a few bright spots, things that can bring us hope, or at least things we should be grateful for. And gratitude is important; because it fights depression.

Neostarwcc · Sep 22, 2020

Pavel Mosko said:
Yes and I seem to recall you have had some big health issues too, as far as your digestive system and needing surgery goes.

Sometimes things are tough and there just aren't any easy answers. I got some life long issues I'm dealing with myself, and thinking about them this morning I was considering giving up hope. In spite of everything though there usually are a few bright spots, things that can bring us hope, or at least things we should be grateful for. And gratitude is important; because it fights depression.

Yes, and that is apparently healing. My surgeons nurse checked on that a week or two ago. But there's still something wrong with my bowels that a GI doctor is going to look over in October at the local hospital. Im a little nervous about the colonoscopy I think hes going to do to check what's going on with my large intestine and if there's a blockage.

But yeah, theres all call of things wrong with me lol. I coukd share stories with you guys for days. But what I look for is support from my fellow brothers and sisters and God himself. I know that when it is time for me to go home it will be a much happier and much more

I'm faithful to God and I'm faithful to Jesus. There isn't a single thing I wont do for them that they can command me to do. Right now my evangelizing and love for theology is being done in my comfort zone. Aside from having to make friends with homosexuals and transsexual men. That's a big challenge in my life. But yeah God is using me right now in my comfort zone. Eventually he's going to bring me outside of my comfort zone and start talking to real people irl.

Church doesn't count thats just a bunch of real people with the exact same views that I have 2-3 times a week and lately because of the corona virus never. But I can't go to my church frequently because its a 4t minute drive across the border in the City I was born in.

But yeah. Life goes on. I have health issues but as far as I know they're not terminal. I am fat but I also have perfect cholesterol, my blood pressure was the lowest it has ever been when I went in for surgery immin great health right now. I should live for another 20 years easily. I got to keep bugging you guys

, like with regleghunter CF just ksnt CV without me and without you guys

Heaven wouldnt be heaven without you guys. I cannot wait until I can talk to you guys fuly healed and episodd free. That... would be amazing.

Neostarwcc · Sep 22, 2020

Paul4JC said:
(Going back to basics in the only thing that keeps me going. Do my best, repent and go to the cross when I fail. Try my best again. God is easy to live with. I didn't know him but from what i've heard of him, I'm sure regleghunter would have forgiven you and loved you the same.)

Lord we pray for Neostarwcc. Help him along his journey. We all have to take up our cross and follow you, yet we all fail. Thanks that you are the author and perfecter of our faith, and we can focus on you. When we fail, we confess it, and move on, as it's covered by your love on the cross for us. None of us does it all perfectly, if we did, we wouldn't need your salvation. Help us not to look at others, and ourselves but to you. Thank you. In Jesus name, Amen.

2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. [Heb 12:2 NASB]

There's no thank button so, thank you! This helped a lot.

Neostarwcc · Sep 22, 2020

pdudgeon said:
((HUGS))

(Hugs) you're warm like my mom. A fantastic Catholic and friendly to everyone. Can't wait to see you in the next life.

Neostarwcc · Sep 22, 2020

A_Thinker said:
I certainly haven't experienced you as a narcissist or a psychopath. You sound like someone who is encountering a level of difficulty in this life, which you are willing to share with your brothers and sisters.

I would add that it is the experience of many christians that life is tough, ... so please do not feel that you are being uniquely burdened.

I have gone through tough periods in my life, where, essentially the only thing I had to hold onto was God, ... and the love of my brothers and sisters in Christ.

The most recent of these periods lasted three years, ... and ended just a year ago. It is hard for me to affirm that I had a day of happiness in those years. It was like being a soldier at war ... it can be hard to "enjoy" that. My pastor was just recently talking about how we should "enjoy" all that God has placed in our lives. For myself, I don't how that could be true.

I'd like to do something to help you in your journey. It's just an offering ... so, no pressure. Just an offering ...

Strive to see yourself as God's child ... and understand that sometimes you will be up ... and sometimes you will be down. It's okay.

Know that God understands that you are struggling ... and that He, ever so gently and steadily, perhaps, ... is bringing you through.

Rest in the truth that God expects no more from you ... than what you are able to manage at this point.

Try to find elements of life ... which please you ... and raise your spirits. God gives us these things ... to balance the evils and sorrows which we must bear. There is no weakness in reveling in the gifts God gives to hold us up.

Handle ever so lightly as you can ... those things which cause us pain in this life. If we try to take it all in ... and try and process it all ... it will be too much for us. There is only so much that we can bear ... and God doesn't require that we bear more than our share.

So I don't have to despair that I haven't met every need, ... or witnessed to every person, ... or grieved every loss, ... or tried to ameliorate every heartache. That really is God's responsibility. I am just His child ... and am only called to smile, ... or to give a kind word, or a hug ... when I can.

Be blessed Neostarwcc. You are not alone. We struggle and sorrow with you.

You have my prayers for your good.

Your brother forever,

Chuck

Thank you, what you said made me cry. You just call the general mental health diagnosis psgchotic but its not really fair to those of my brothers and sisters who are also schizophrenic psychotic. So I apologize. Its insensitive of me considering scizophrenics who do lose their mind occasionally like me need to be taken care of 24 hours a day to make sure we don't hurt ourselves or anyone else.

My commitment to Chrisg may be strong but there were many times where i was in danger due to a psychotic episode. I needed the support of my wife and family to keep us all safe and also had go ho away for a week to Utica and I needed their 24/7 expert advice in getting better. I have a team so you're righg k should be greatful to God. There isn't a single promise Gd has told me that he's failed to keep. Need to focus on that instead of the "whag ifs"

My mom is right that a crazy stressful life sets me off and I need less stress. But being the head of my family is very stressful. Being a slave to christ and my fellow other members of humanity puts a lot of stress. You just have to focus on the good and not the bad i guess.

Neostarwcc · Sep 22, 2020

So i just found out a few hours ago that my wife has feelings for another man and has for almosg two months now and has been "tempted to leave me for him". I know who this person is he's a member of a guild my wife and i are in. Im an officer and said man is a GM in the guild so I have to talk to the main two G s about this tomorrow. Im definitely NOT happy that I can't discuss this with my wife but instead have to make drama everywhere.

But honestly today I'm just heartbroken.

sunshineforJesus · Sep 22, 2020

Im so sorry you're going through such a rough time and will be praying for you.
If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here for you.

Amittai · Sep 23, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
... a member of a guild my wife and i are in. Im an officer and said man is a GM in the guild ...

Please be cautious about "guilds" (I've been there). It may be that you are not obligated to remain in it. Jesus & Paul and the rest of them said, "keep it simple".

As for "slave of Christ" His only requirement of you when He said "My burden is light" is to simply lift up our needs - without words much of the time.

Jesus can be "Grand" and not the people with their swords and plumed hats!

TriciaR · Sep 23, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
No clue if this is in the right section or not. Im getting sick of being a wuss and posting all kinds of new threads on CF about the same stuff going on in my personal life. I'm NOT happy in any way, shape, or form nor do I think that that's what God wanted for me. The road to happiness is full of all kinds of misery. Im not meant to be happy I'm here to be a slave of Christ and a slave to mankind and quite frankly it angers me a little when people say I can be happy. I dont think that's quite possible being that im completely off my rocker and right now I'm stuck in the biggest bipolar low that I've ever had in my ENTIRE life.

But nobody realizes what a bipolar low is like except those who have experienced it. I dont care what therapists or psychiatrists or what anyone else says. When im having a manic low its impossible to be happy. Idc what mind control tricks you try on me, its not possible. Also?

Several close people of mine are just dying. One of which was regleghunter who recently passed away from cancer and everyone knows from the forums. Another was a friend of several years who died from an opium overdose because he tried to buy heroin and a dealer sold him pure opium instead. 3 of my grandparents died within the last 5 years many from cancer. Theres a thread specifically tied to regleghunter but I couldn't reply to it. Why? Because I feel so guilty because he begged for prayers before he died and I didn't say a thing. Im filled with guilt and sorrow and I mourn with the rest of CF on his passing. When I pass I dont want there to be a thread for me. I dont want peopke to know or cry for me. I just... want to fade away from you guys.

Trust me when I say this. I am NOT suicidal. It doesn't matter how horrible my life gets I made a commitment to Jesus to be in it for the long haul. it doesnt matter how horrible im feeling, I have a mission to do for Christ and its not my time to go home until my mission is over. Not when I say its over.

I called my Christian counselor that im paying nearly $300 a month to see a false prophet directly to my wife and im considering doing so directly to his face because he and every other worldly counselor seems to think a man who is mentally ill and a follower of Jesus.

People say im a narcissist who doesn't care about people and takes advantage of everybody but the far is fro, the truth. I'm a very caring human being, I just think nothing of myself yet , the world revolves around me and should revolve around "poor old me." I keep telling therapists and psychiatrists dont even attempt to examine my brain because its something that cannot be examined. I'm a one of a kind complete psychopath.

But at the same time, don't think that I don't have a heart or that I don't care because that is FAR from the truth. I love you guys more than anything, I love my wife more than anything and the only people I know in my life are my wife, mother, and you guys. I do, I've loved virtually every member of CF since I first made my dedication to Chrisg and became a member here. I may be massively screwed up in the head, but I know what love is. Ty for reading, ty for not I really don't care. I just wanted to talk somewhere that wasn't my Christian counselor telling me I'm experiencing extreme hardships in the spiritual realm.

I am sorry to hear all this. But I just wanted to encourage you in that, in Christ you are a new creation. You therefore cannot be a narcissistic or psychopath. If you're in Christ you are hidden in Him. Its His righteousness.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV

For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
Colossians 3:3‭-‬4 ESV‬‬

and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—
Philippians 3:9 ESV

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:1 ESV

Hope it’s ok to say all this, but maybe it is looking at the simple things. Just to focus on simple faith. There's also no condemnation for those in Christ. It is to just as has been said - the basics. Repent when you need to, turn to Christ. Walk with Christ. Abide in Him.

Wrong section maybe?

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

baggage apostate

Well-Known Member

Traditional Catholic

the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing

Arch-Dude of the Apostolic

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

is so in love with God

baggage apostate

Active Member

Similar threads