Sister thinks she’s lesbian

SeekingGloryOnThisJourney · Sep 22, 2020

Over the last year or two I have been watching my sister fall into the lie of homosexuality.
It started with an comic featuring two males in the dating life.
i wasn’t too concerned about it. But then...she told a friend she had a “crush” on a girl, because she simply found her pretty. (I know who this crush was, she is very pretty.)
The friend told me, and I was surprised. I didn’t tell my sister because she doesn’t know I know.
Then she started watching shows with strong LGBT+ motives. Even cartoons such as the rebooted She-Ra and The Owl House. Keep in mind she’s quite old for that.
Then she started writing weird stories about lgbt characters.
Before all this she didn’t support it.
I don’t know what to do. What can I do? She’s her in person and she doesn’t know I know all this.
Advice?

seeking.IAM · Sep 22, 2020

I think knowing your sister's age may help guide persons who may want to offer advice. Your text above reads more like you think your sister is a lesbian than she thinks she is a lesbian. Has she said so or are you surmising based upon what you've heard?

Isilwen · Sep 22, 2020

I wish I had some advice for you, but I do not. My fourteen-year-old daughter who doesn't live with me let me know this past year that she is gay.

So all I am doing is loving her for who she is and not coming down on her. To me, doing so will bot have good consequences. It is also her choice to be gay if she chooses. I am all about her making her own choices, even if they aren't what I would choose for her or myself. She is also 1200 miles away and I have no real say. I learned that from her older siblings.

So, i have no advice to share, beyond pray.

Anthony2019 · Sep 22, 2020

I pray that God will give her the courage to accept the things that cannot be changed, the strength to change the things she can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
May our Lord, in His perfect wisdom, guide and protect your daughter and surround and hold her in His love.

xaris · Sep 22, 2020

SeekingGloryOnThisJourney said:
Advice?

pray, she needs the work of the cross opened up to her eyes and heart. So she may receive a new heart/be born again. IOW, a spiritual battle.

Danigt22 · Sep 22, 2020

I used to be bisexual before coming to the lord. It mostly comes in what I value, I used to put selfpleasure above morality and purity. I abandoned what was right, and gave my back to God. You need to persuade her into giving the lord a chance, without her accepting the lord Jesus Christ she will never change her mind.

bèlla · Sep 22, 2020

SGTJ,

It's probable your sister had thoughts long before the period mentioned. I've known many bisexual and lesbian women and watched more than few enter that space from heterosexual relationships. In most cases they had thoughts or attractions to their sex and tried to repress them. Some had experiences during their youth and never disclosed it to anyone until they felt comfortable doing so.

There are numerous places on the Internet she can go to have thought provoking discussions on the topic without impropriety. You'd never know. The best recourse is keeping the lines of communication open. If she feels she can't talk to you she'll find others in your place. Spend more time listening and pray for her. It could be a phase as someone mentioned. But I'd caution you not to assume that's definite.

Her reception to physical intimacy with a woman is the deciding factor. Some are enamored with the idea of being with another. Others are physically attracted to both sexes. And some prefer their own sex above men. That isn't always due to abuse or dysfunctional childhoods. But there's usually an emotional connection she lacks with the opposite sex.

Experimentation occurs more than Christian parents admit or are willing to face. Children raised in these environments are aware of their stance. They develop covert skills to hide their behavior. I attended a Catholic high school with 1,100 girls. I promise you. A lot goes on behind the scenes no one discusses.

The positive in all of this is awareness. The issue was brought to light. You can be proactive and provide support and prayer. Don't let the left hand know what the right one is doing. Allow the Lord to prepare her heart to receive the truth. Pushing the issue can backfire and drive the person further down the rabbit hole.

In your prayers, ask the Lord to use the situation for His glory. Her experiences may be a blessing to others facing the same later on. Trust His providence and leave her in His care. There's a chance it may go away or be something she struggles with. Either way, stay close. Let her see you're in her corner no matter what.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

Pavel Mosko · Sep 22, 2020

SeekingGloryOnThisJourney said:
Over the last year or two I have been watching my sister fall into the lie of homosexuality.
It started with an comic featuring two males in the dating life.
i wasn’t too concerned about it. But then...she told a friend she had a “crush” on a girl, because she simply found her pretty. (I know who this crush was, she is very pretty.)
The friend told me, and I was surprised. I didn’t tell my sister because she doesn’t know I know.
Then she started watching shows with strong LGBT+ motives. Even cartoons such as the rebooted She-Ra and The Owl House. Keep in mind she’s quite old for that.
Then she started writing weird stories about lgbt characters.
Before all this she didn’t support it.
I don’t know what to do. What can I do? She’s her in person and she doesn’t know I know all this.
Advice?

You mean besides pray? Pretty tough beyond that it's nearly impossible to talk someone out of this. I do hear that some people with the gift of exorcism can sometimes work wonders, assuming of course that is purely some kind of demonic influence and not something in the person's biology like her brain etc.

ISteveB · Sep 22, 2020

SeekingGloryOnThisJourney said:
Over the last year or two I have been watching my sister fall into the lie of homosexuality.
It started with an comic featuring two males in the dating life.
i wasn’t too concerned about it. But then...she told a friend she had a “crush” on a girl, because she simply found her pretty. (I know who this crush was, she is very pretty.)
The friend told me, and I was surprised. I didn’t tell my sister because she doesn’t know I know.
Then she started watching shows with strong LGBT+ motives. Even cartoons such as the rebooted She-Ra and The Owl House. Keep in mind she’s quite old for that.
Then she started writing weird stories about lgbt characters.
Before all this she didn’t support it.
I don’t know what to do. What can I do? She’s her in person and she doesn’t know I know all this.
Advice?

There's a proverb which states---- as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.

The idea is that whatever we focus our thinking on, that's what we will become.

Thankfully, we actually have a choice in the matter.
So, ask her what she wants, and if she's open to hearing what God has to say about it.

Paul tells us that we walk in the spirit by thinking on spiritual things--- God's Word. Or we walk in the flesh by thinking in natural things. Romans 8:4-8.

He then tells us in Galatians 6--- if you sow to the flesh, of the flesh you will reap corruption. But if you sow to the spirit, of the spirit, you will reap life everlasting.

Seems to me that the best way is to ask her what she wants..... Does she want eternal life, or eternal judgment. Life is found in Jesus, and we deny ourselves, pick up our cross and follow him. Or, judgment--- we live however we please.

Jesus further stated--- if you seek your life, you will lose it, but if you lose your life for my sake, you will keep it to eternal life.

Hope she chooses Jesus.

Pavel Mosko · Sep 22, 2020

SeekingGloryOnThisJourney said:
Advice?

Was your sister ever molested as a child? If so therapy might help.

(The stuff you mentioned watching Sheera etc. and writing LGBT fan fiction sounds a little suspicious to me even though I've known adults online who have been into that stuff before.)

SeekingGloryOnThisJourney · Sep 22, 2020

Pavel Mosko said:
Was your sister ever molested as a child? If so therapy might help.

(The stuff you mentioned watching Sheera etc. and writing LGBT fan fiction sounds a little suspicious to me even though I've known adults online who have been into that stuff before.)

Nope. Ironically, I was.
But she never knew.

SeekingGloryOnThisJourney · Sep 22, 2020

ISteveB said:
There's a proverb which states---- as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.

The idea is that whatever we focus our thinking on, that's what we will become.

Thankfully, we actually have a choice in the matter.
So, ask her what she wants, and if she's open to hearing what God has to say about it.

Paul tells us that we walk in the spirit by thinking on spiritual things--- God's Word. Or we walk in the flesh by thinking in natural things. Romans 8:4-8.

He then tells us in Galatians 6--- if you sow to the flesh, of the flesh you will reap corruption. But if you sow to the spirit, of the spirit, you will reap life everlasting.

Seems to me that the best way is to ask her what she wants..... Does she want eternal life, or eternal judgment. Life is found in Jesus, and we deny ourselves, pick up our cross and follow him. Or, judgment--- we live however we please.

Jesus further stated--- if you seek your life, you will lose it, but if you lose your life for my sake, you will keep it to eternal life.

Hope she chooses Jesus.

Thanks.. I’m waiting for the right opportunity. She’s said to her friend before that she, quote on quote “thinks she’s right”.

SeekingGloryOnThisJourney · Sep 22, 2020

seeking.IAM said:
I think knowing your sister's age may help guide persons who may want to offer advice. Your text above reads more like you think your sister is a lesbian than she thinks she is a lesbian. Has she said so or are you surmising based upon what you've heard?

She’s told her friend that she “thinks she’s a lesbian”. (Which was quite a while ago- and she’s only listened/watched more and more LGBT content since then.)

ISteveB · Sep 22, 2020

SeekingGloryOnThisJourney said:
Thanks.. I’m waiting for the right opportunity. She’s said to her friend before that she, quote on quote “thinks she’s right”.

thinks is the key.....

most of the christian experience is about our thought life.
Paul tells the Colossians in Colossians 3 that our thoughts will determine our state.

1 If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. 2 Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. 3 For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.
5 Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, 7 in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them.
8 But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, 10 and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him,

God is inviting us. It's up to us to choose.....

SeekingGloryOnThisJourney · Sep 22, 2020

thecolorsblend said:
America has been subjected to the most massive and widespread campaign of social engineering in human history vis a vis LGBT whatchamacallit over the last fifteen or twenty years. As a result of that effort, a lot of girls and young women have found themselves doing precisely what you describe because every major social and technological influence in their lives has told them it's a positive thing to do.

It may sound great to these women in theory. But in actual practice... well, I shall try to be diplomatic here.

Most women are fundamentally unstable at their core. There are reasons for that but I would do best to avoid discussing them for right now. Suffice it to say, it is true. One thing women get from a heterosexual relationship is the order and stability that the average heterosexual man brings to the table.

To put it another way, most women don't have the first iota of a clue about what it REALLY means to be in a relationship with a woman. They may experiment, they may dabble, but when it's all said and done, most of them want more stability than the average woman is capable of bringing to a relationship.

I've seen several girls and women go through this arc. Ordinarily, they frame it in therapeutic terms. "I dated women a few times but, eh, I realized that I just prefer the company of men, no big deal".

They usually frame it that way because the alternative requires telling the truth: "I was driving myself crazy and right when I was on the brink, my 'girlfriend' was there to drive me even crazier and push me over the edge".

All of this is a long way of setting the table so that I can say that this might very well be a phase that your sister is going through. If her arc lines up with what I have seen, then you're probably looking at six months or a year of her having a girlfriend before she realizes what many other women have also realized (but dare not say out loud) before her: The mass media have lied to her and she's not equipped to be in a relationship with a flighty, impulsive, overly-emotional woman because she's a flighty, impulsive, overly-emotional woman herself.

I'm not making any promises here. But for a lot of women, they really are tourists in that world. And they typically discover fairly quickly how much they don't belong.

Pray for her to learn the error of her ways. But also know that real life is on the side of traditional Christian morality on this subject.

Thank you.
As kids she always had crushes on guys which makes this even more surprising.
I honestly can’t see her with a “girlfriend”. (From an unbiased point of view because of the exact things you’ve mentioned.) it’s definitely because of the Media. Before I was Christian I also supported LGBT because of the media.
I’ve also seen exactly what you say happen to another friend of mine.
She was an immigrant from China, sweet girl, very smart and funny, and overall loved everything. She also had guy crushes because that’s what young girls do.
When she came to America and found Instagram and other social media it all changed. Her entire personality. And then out of the blue she “announced” she was bisexual.
LGBT is (mostly- I know there are some people who really struggle with this) a trend. I hope my sister realizes that.

SeekingGloryOnThisJourney · Sep 22, 2020

LaBèlla said:
SGTJ,

It's probable your sister had thoughts long before the period mentioned. I've known many bisexual and lesbian women and watched more than few enter that space from heterosexual relationships. In most cases they had thoughts or attractions to their sex and tried to repress them. Some had experiences during their youth and never disclosed it to anyone until they felt comfortable doing so.

There are numerous places on the Internet she can go to have thought provoking discussions on the topic without impropriety. You'd never know. The best recourse is keeping the lines of communication open. If she feels she can't talk to you she'll find others in your place. Spend more time listening and pray for her. It could be a phase as someone mentioned. But I'd caution you not to assume that's definite.

Her reception to physical intimacy with a woman is the deciding factor. Some are enamored with the idea of being with another. Others are physically attracted to both sexes. And some prefer their own sex above men. That isn't always due to abuse or dysfunctional childhoods. But there's usually an emotional connection she lacks with the opposite sex.

Experimentation occurs more than Christian parents admit or are willing to face. Children raised in these environments are aware of their stance. They develop covert skills to hide their behavior. I attended a Catholic high school with 1,100 girls. I promise you. A lot goes on behind the scenes no one discusses.

The positive in all of this is awareness. The issue was brought to light. You can be proactive and provide support and prayer. Don't let the left hand know what the right one is doing. Allow the Lord to prepare her heart to receive the truth. Pushing the issue can backfire and drive the person further down the rabbit hole.

In your prayers, ask the Lord to use the situation for His glory. Her experiences may be a blessing to others facing the same later on. Trust His providence and leave her in His care. There's a chance it may go away or be something she struggles with. Either way, stay close. Let her see you're in her corner no matter.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

Thank you. I don’t think she’s thought this before, when we were kids she had many crushes on many different boys.
I’ll definitely be keeping an eye on her.

thecolorsblend · Sep 22, 2020

SeekingGloryOnThisJourney said:
Thank you.
As kids she always had crushes on guys which makes this even more surprising.
I honestly can’t see her with a “girlfriend”. (From an unbiased point of view because of the exact things you’ve mentioned.) it’s definitely because of the Media. Before I was Christian I also supported LGBT because of the media.
I’ve also seen exactly what you say happen to another friend of mine.
She was an immigrant from China, sweet girl, very smart and funny, and overall loved everything. She also had guy crushes because that’s what young girls do.
When she came to America and found Instagram and other social media it all changed. Her entire personality. And then out of the blue she “announced” she was bisexual.
LGBT is (mostly- I know there are some people who really struggle with this) a trend. I hope my sister realizes that.

If it makes you feel better, the LGBT community was widely rejected for the last several decades out of ignorance. Most people knew nothing about them.

Then, following the media blitz, they've been widely accepted for the last decade or so also out of ignorance. Most people still didn't know anything about them.

But now, support for the LGBT community and cause are both dwindling. People know them now, they know who they are. And from an informed standpoint, people are slowly abandoning their support for them. It's been showing up in polls for a few years now. GLAAD is scared you-know-whatless about it.

So there's a chance that we might be on the other side of this fad in a few years.

Tony B · Sep 22, 2020

If for example, it was my daughter contemplating this, then I would say to her it's natural to be attracted to a member of the same gender, be that due to their looks or the way they act, but it is totally unnatural and wrong to allow that to go to a sexual desire. You have to block those thoughts off as soon as they occur.

I would tell her that she is going down a rocky road that would only lead to grief, not only for her but also for her family and those around her.

I would also have to say to her that since my home is a Christian home I wouldn't be able to allow any homosexualty behaviour in it, or homosexual couples to dwell in it, or she to visit with her homosexual partner.

coffee4u · Sep 22, 2020

Is your sister a Christian? Has she given her life to Christ?

There are two paths we can take, that of self-gratification of what feels good to us at the moment or the path of God which in this case is purity and morality. We make choices every day and yes there is always a choice. When people say they have no choice what they really mean is they have no self-control but instead take the path of what they want.
She is choosing to watch LGBT motives, choosing to write weird stories, choosing each of these things. She herself needs to want to live her life for Jesus, no one can force her, this is her free will. The best you can do is pray for her and if she is a Christian try and show her that Gods way is purity because the person sexual immorality hurts is the person committing the sin.

ovis90 · Sep 23, 2020

Isilwen said:
I wish I had some advice for you, but I do not. My fourteen-year-old daughter who doesn't live with me let me know this past year that she is gay.

So all I am doing is loving her for who she is and not coming down on her. To me, doing so will bot have good consequences. It is also her choice to be gay if she chooses. I am all about her making her own choices, even if they aren't what I would choose for her or myself. She is also 1200 miles away and I have no real say. I learned that from her older siblings.

So, i have no advice to share, beyond pray.

It sound good that you love and accept her, but Gods word is saying that this people will not go to Heaven doesn't that worry you? As much God is loving, but he has rules which shouldn't be broken.

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