Loneliness

With Christ you are never alone.

It sounds like your love language is through words of affirmation, something your husband does not seem able to understand. Taking a walk out of the situation might help. Learning to forgive your husbands foibles also can help.

My husband suffers from saying the wrong thing when I need affirmation as well. One time recently it got so bad I walked out and did Ti Chi in the back yard till I calmed down. Afterward when I went in he apologized and i accepted it knowing he'll slip again. He human, and the problem with human husbands is they sometimes hurt us.

Don't worry, we hurt them sometimes as well. Men especially are poor at communicating this often making matters worse. Still, love is communication however imperfect. Allowing G-d to step in and heal the wounds our humanity create can go a long way in overcoming your depression.

anewday said:

I know many people are struggling with loneliness this year, but how do I deal with this as a married woman? My husband has always been hard to talk to on deeper levels. Since I got married, friends are few and far between.

It's been especially hard since we are separated but still living together. I was feeling pretty good about stuff when he told me he wanted to keep going to therapy when I said I couldn't handle it anymore (too many past triggers brought up). That made me hopeful that he was trying to change.

I've been pretty depressed the last few days, due to being inside all the time and not around many people anymore. I mentioned it to him yesterday and that made it worse. He got all mad. Later he apologized, but its just another reason why this isn't working. He got upset at me again last night over something too.

I met up with some ladies today and it was such a relief to be able to talk without being judged or made to feel bad about how I feel or think.

I slipped back into depression mode when I got back home since I feel like I can barely talk to my husband anymore...I dunno just needed to vent. Prayers appreciated...

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You know, I've realized recently just how isolated I'd become these past several years of my marriage, too. I used to be involved in community theater and choir groups. I loved going out and visiting museums and amusement parks, or spending a weekend hiking in the mountains. I haven't been able to do any of that for a long time now. My whole life has just been work, home, work, home. And home has not been a safe, warm refuge of love and warmth, like a home should be. It's been a place of depression, sadness, loneliness, despair. More than once, I've heard myself saying, "I'd rather be at work than at home". That is a tragic thing for a person to say. All of my time, energy, emotion, attention, and money has just been sucked up by this life I've been living. I've had so little opportunity to do anything for myself.

I don't mean to ramble. I'm a natural introvert, so I don't crave social interaction much. But I do wish I had a friend or two. I have no family nearby except an elderly mother and aunt. I wish I just had one person to hang out with sometimes. Just one!

Are you still planning to move out? You know I understand everything you're going through.

Long for the Lord’s compassion when you are alone !

When He went ashore He SAW a great crowd, and He had COMPASSION on them, because they were LIKE SHEEP WITHOUT A SHEPHERD. And He began to TEACH them MANY THINGS. -Mark 6:34

When He saw the crowds, He had COMPASSION for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. -Matthew 9:36

When He went ashore He saw a great crowd, and He had COMPASSION on them and healed their sick. -Matthew 14:14

"I have COMPASSION on the crowd, because they have been with me now three days and have nothing to eat. -Mark 8:2

Even when you are in a great crowd, you feel alone, the Lord saw you!

Even when you are in the church,
feel alone; the Lord saw you!

Even when you are harassed, helpless, and alone; the Lord saw you!

Even when you are sick and alone, the Lord saw you !

Even when you are hungry and alone, the Lord saw you !

This is what is written about the Lord’s compassion:

As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion TO THOSE WHO FEAR HIM. -Psalms 103:13

Let those who are alone, harassed, helpless, sick, and hungry, understand fear of the Lord” and the Lord shows His compassion to them.

The Heavenly Father shows His compassion to His children.

This is what the Lord said about the Heavenly Father :

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! -Matthew 7:11

ASK that you may understand and HAVE this FEAR OF THE LORD, that is, to stand in awe of His great love
and find the Lord shows COMPASSION on you !

Let us understand a proverb and a saying, the words of the wise and their riddles; for the Heavenly Father have spoken:

My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, -Proverbs 2:1

making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; -Proverbs 2:2
yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, -Proverbs 2:3
THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THE FEAR OF THE LORD and find the knowledge of God. -Proverbs 2:5

Yes, understand this fear of the Lord !
Then your heart will be filled with His compassion. Then you know you are not alone.

anewday said:

I'm quiet but enjoy being around people. It was awkward this last time though, but that's due to just not being around many people this year in general due to covid. I work at home full time and have been struggling being here and around him all the time with not many others to talk to.

I'm not sure why I'm struggling so much right now. It doesn't help that I try to suppress how I feel since I've been in survival mode for so long.

Yes, I still want to move out, unless I have a change of heart and he changes more. I don't think you are rambling. I hope you are doing well .

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Sister, I know exactly how you feel. I've been saying the same thing. I've been in Survival Mode for so long now! I suppress everything, I internalize it, because I don't have the luxury to break down and sob like I want to do. I have to work, I have to care for my home, family, pets, chores, responsibilities. All while my heart is neglected, lonely, hurt, scared, frustrated. We just become robots after enough time goes by.

I hope you find a way to get out. I'm still in the process of moving. It's going slowly, I can't find furniture, money is so tight, I have no way to transport or carry large items in my small car. But the apartment is so bright, clean, sunny, and quiet! I can't wait to make it my new home!

A big hug coming your way! <3

anewday said:

It's been especially hard since we are separated but still living together. I was feeling pretty good about stuff when he told me he wanted to keep going to therapy when I said I couldn't handle it anymore (too many past triggers brought up). That made me hopeful that he was trying to change.

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A non-Christian friend of mine also has this problem, which is also not helping her at all. If you are a Christian, God is always there, not only to listen, but to help you through whatever it is you are going through - and so much more than any human can. He's our Counselor!

anewday said:

I've been pretty depressed the last few days, due to being inside all the time and not around many people anymore. I mentioned it to him yesterday and that made it worse. He got all mad. Later he apologized, but its just another reason why this isn't working. He got upset at me again last night over something too.

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I don't know what is going on, but God sees everything and knows the heart of every individual. This might be high time to get alone with God and allow Him to guide you. Perhaps you might be able to reach your husband from a renewed heart.

anewday said:

I met up with some ladies today and it was such a relief to be able to talk without being judged or made to feel bad about how I feel or think.

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Not sure what you mean by "judged", but if it's the judgement seat of Christ, then they are highly mistaken in doing so. It's His seat for a reason, and a very big one. But if you mean by your husband, I'm not sure if he's a Christian but if he isn't, he can judge you, but only through a Godless lens that maybe one day you might be able to reach him through your own actions. If he is a Christian and is judging you unrighteously, he will be corrected even by the hand of God Himself - I've personally witnessed this happen to a brother in Christ which he is now absolutely serving God to the best of his ability.

I can't say this or that about your life or your husband's, but God sees everything. My highest advise to you is to go directly to God about this and everything. Let Him speak to you rather than going to people and let me tell you I have vented to God and many others have, I'm sure. Even Nehemiah did. I certainly hope the best for you and your husband.