God through action (being the direct cause) or inaction (not intervening to prevent) destroys almost everything I care about having.
God does nothing ( again action/inaction) to help me while I beg for help.
I know it doesn't seem like it but God is not sending the problems and suffering that you are going through.
We live in a fallen world; stuff happens and Christians are not immune from it.
God continues to pile spiritual things on me despite the fact that I don’t care.
I don't know what you mean by "piling spiritual things on me".
But in some way, on some level you do care, or you wouldn't be on a Christian forum posting in the Christian advice section.
And somehow this is supposed to make me love and trust him.
No of course not.
God is not an authoritarian figure who says "you don't love me enough yet, have some more suffering." James says that every good and perfect gift comes from God. What you are going through doesn't sound at all good, never mind perfect, so it hasn't come from him.
He can give strength, peace and comfort as you go through it - or you could just endure it without any of those things.
can anyone explain how this is supposed to work?
What do you mean "how this is supposed to work"?
Are you saying that if we believe in God we are "supposed to" have a problem free life as a reward for believing in him? Or that answered prayer means "give me what I want and give it to me now"?
We are
supposed to love God because he created us, has given us gifts and talents, has made it possible for all our sins to be forgiven, and forgotten, through Jesus, whom he sent to offer his perfect life in exchange for our sinful ones, has given us his Spirit, eternal life and every spiritual blessing all this, when all that we deserved from God was punishment and death.
Jesus did nothing wrong at all - we have; yet he suffered separation from God so that we will never have to.
John says, "we love because he first loved us" - unconditionally.
We are not supposed to say "I will only love you if I don't have any physical problems." I did that for years; my faith depended on my feelings and circumstances and not on the love, patience and grace that God had already shown me.