Hello Questioning Brother, along with
@Tone, it may help me give you a better answer if you would elaborate a bit about the "spiritual things" that God continues to pile on you (what you mean/what these "spiritual things" are, etc.).
As for some of the rest, if the GREAT love that God has ~already~ shown you (by sending His Son here as a man to die in your stead on the Cross .. e.g.
Romans 5:8-10) is not enough of a reason for you to love Him and trust Him, with your life (on this side of the grave) and with your future (in the age to come), then I'm not certain what else will!
You didn't tell us what God is withholding from you, but I can assure you that, as His child, whatever He is doing in regards to you is for your greatest good ..
Romans 8:28, 32, even if it doesn't feel like it is right now. He often withholds things from us that He knows will not be good for us (even though we may fully believe otherwise), or He withholds them for a time, until He knows that we are ready to receive them.
He remains jealous for your love & for your devotion to Him alone,
not for His good, but for yours
So, if you want to learn to trust Him, this is the perfect opportunity for you to do so ("accept and trust" as my signature line graphic says).
Delight yourself in the Lord, and surrender to Him whatever this thing is that you want Him to provide you with, knowing that as a Christian, He alone is your portion (trusting that
He will give you your heart's desire in His perfect timing .. unless He knows of a blessing that is greater still, greater perhaps than you could have ever imagined .. cf
Psalm 37:4.
Trust Him
God bless you!
--David