i was psychotic when i approached Jesus and ask Him to heal me on the spot. i knew i had no doubts whatsoever, i still have no doubts. i have 100 percent faith in His ability to do anything written about Him!
Still i was not in line with our Lord. Who simply told me that for good reason i had been made the way i was, and that i would bring Him glory without Him healing me from it. He even said you are not sick as such, i made you as you are. (i have been diagnosed with Schizo Effective disorder and have been in and out of Hospital completely psychotic many times over the last 24 years and have struggled enormously with depressive moods which at one stage lasted seven years, 1 and 1/2 of those suicidally depressed.)
i didn't understand much of the reason Jesus told me why He would not heal me at the time, for i had faith so why did He not come up with the goods? i remember that i was deeply disappointed.
Yet later when He began to make me stronger than my illness could throw at me, then i understood that there are more than one ways to be healed by Jesus. Making me stronger and bringing to life more good life to fight the bad life my illness brought me, contributed enormously to me supporting and loving other (mentally ill) people through their struggles.
Many people listen to what i say about Jesus as King of the heart, because i still struggle with mental illness myself, but don't often get floored by it any more, i make a good witness. And if i do fall then i just get up and i keep on going again.
i know how Jesus made me strong ever after i learned to have faith in His love. i know that much of what He taught me was spiritually true much more so than physical. For spiritually Jesus has levelled all my mountains and obstacles, and they have been huge,
while He has me walking on the Highway to Heaven,
while i know that physically i'm doomed for the grave.
Indeed i found out that spiritually in my worldly wilful sinful self i have wiped and are being wiped out, while His Kingdom He build into me who suffered wickedness. Absolutely amazing how He does that!
In Christ's Kingdom all the promises of Scripture are true! They have always been true and will always be true. Such comfort Having Him living within me. All this has come my way because i crowned Jesus King of my heart and let Him rebuild me Through The Word and into The Word.
Hallelujah!
1 Peter 1:22-25
"
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart. For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. For,
“All people are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of the Lord endures forever.”
And this is the word that was preached to you.
i will love Him forever for having saved me from my sins.
