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Tytoman

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I'm glad you're seeing a therapist! How have you been doing lately?
Much better now. But I suddenly last night I woke up in the middle of the night and I was on my OCD pill that I take 30 minutes before I went to bed. I whispered to myself automatically without control something blasphemy about the Holy Spirit. I didn’t mean to whisper anything bad. I tried to pray for forgiveness to Jesus and God but I kept messing up on my prayers and tried so hard to make a perfect prayer of forgiveness. Then I finally managed to get my prayer right and asked for God and Jesus’s forgiveness.
 
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Tytoman

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God knows you better than you know yourself.

1 Corinthians 12:3 Wherefore I give you to understand, that no man speaking by the Spirit of God calleth Jesus accursed: and that no man can say that Jesus is the Lord, but by the Holy Ghost.

Think about it. If you really blasphemed the Holy Spirit, would He still be with you, or would He have left you? If He left you, you would not even be able to call Jesus Lord and truly mean it. You would know if you truly blasphemed Him.
I have been doing much better now. But I suddenly last night I woke up in the middle of the night and I was on my OCD pill that I take 30 minutes before I went to bed. I whispered to myself automatically without control something blasphemy about the Holy Spirit. I didn’t mean to whisper anything bad. I tried to pray for forgiveness to Jesus and God but I kept messing up on my prayers and tried so hard to make a perfect prayer of forgiveness. Then I finally managed to get my prayer right and asked for God and Jesus’s forgiveness.
 
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Mari17

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I have been doing much better now. But I suddenly last night I woke up in the middle of the night and I was on my OCD pill that I take 30 minutes before I went to bed. I whispered to myself automatically without control something blasphemy about the Holy Spirit. I didn’t mean to whisper anything bad. I tried to pray for forgiveness to Jesus and God but I kept messing up on my prayers and tried so hard to make a perfect prayer of forgiveness. Then I finally managed to get my prayer right and asked for God and Jesus’s forgiveness.
So glad you're doing better! Are you on medication and therapy, or just medication? It sounds like you're still struggling with compulsions (e.g. trying to pray perfectly). What strategies can you use to work on your obsessions and compulsions?
 
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Job405

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Also I have been slapping myself on the head multiple times really hard to stop the bad thoughts making them go away.
Can you really imagine God telling you to do this? I don't think this is a good method of dealing with bad thoughts, especially since you cannot always control them.
 
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Mari17

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Also I have been slapping myself on the head multiple times really hard to stop the bad thoughts making them go away.
I know how frustrating it can be. Still, trying to get rid of the thoughts is a compulsion. What are some better ways you can deal with the thoughts?
 
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Tytoman

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I know how frustrating it can be. Still, trying to get rid of the thoughts is a compulsion. What are some better ways you can deal with the thoughts?
I tell myself not to worry. But I worry God will hold internal monologue accountable.
 
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Job405

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No because they are accidents. But what about internal monologue?
Well it says in the Bible that God will bring to light all the hidden things. I assume we will be judged based on every action, thought and motivation. That said I don't know if thoughts count as sin, or what kind of sin they are. Basically I don't know if you can blaspheme the Holy Spirit by your thoughts alone. It does say the thought of foolishness is sin in Proverbs.
 
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SarahsKnight

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Also I have been slapping myself on the head multiple times really hard to stop the bad thoughts making them go away.

Tytoman, please listen to @Mari17 's advice and encouragement in particular.

This issue for you unfortunately seems even more extreme than I have seen it in myself and in others. You are suffering greatly and the Lord knows that. He knows the bad thoughts and seeming urges to speak those thoughts aloud or at least in internal monologue distress you, and that they are not the true you, no matter how "real" they might feel. Otherwise, you surely wouldn't have cared so much the first time something like this happened to you (I assume it was the event when eating dinner with a friend as you described in your OP). It's extremely difficult to bear this burden, I know, but for whatever it can be worth, I have prayed to God that He will have mercy on you and eases your burden with the blasphemous thoughts and internal monologues. Take heart and cling to Jesus, no matter how hard this kind of OCD is to bear in daily life. I personally do not believe our great Savior would ever cast you away when you are hurting, even if in some moment of weakness you ever think you might truly be unsaved or forever condemned/evil or something like that (which at least in my experience when I suffered similarly several years ago, it was a common tempting thought for me - that at heart I somehow was never saved or never cared to believe in Christ, or that I was fated to be evil and estranged from God forever, etc. - whenever the blasphemous thoughts of bad, oppressive feelings would strike). No, He is good, even if we are not, and I firmly believe He will not let us go once we come to Him for forgiveness of sins and in belief that He was raised from the dead, that we too might be resurrected from death and unto eternal life someday. :angel:



I can understand how you feel, in the quote from you above. If empathy helps at all, I too felt tempted to hurt myself whenever the bad thoughts came and would seemingly not cease, as though if it took great amounts of pain to literally knock those thoughts out of me, I would gladly do it. I'm pretty sure I followed through on that a few times. Just so you know, someone out there - and I sure I am far from the only one - can understand what you're going through.
 
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Annner

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Also I have been slapping myself on the head multiple times really hard to stop the bad thoughts making them go away.
God loves you so much. You don’t have to slap your head to get rid of the thoughts. Scripture says our fight is not against flesh and blood. There is only ONE more powerful than those thoughts, which is the Holy Spirit. If Christ is in you, he has already given you all the power you need, the Holy Spirit. And who has more power? The Holy Spirit in you. 2 Timothy 1.7 says God isn’t giving you fear, but he has GIVEN YOU A SPIRIT OF POWER. You have that power right now. And he has ALL power, so don’t let the thoughts intimidate you. Realize and know YOU have power over it. Turn the tables on it with the truth. Stand on that fact and don’t let it move you. Say it’s ME who has power over YOU!
 
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Tytoman

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God loves you so much. You don’t have to slap your head to get rid of the thoughts. Scripture says our fight is not against flesh and blood. There is only ONE more powerful than those thoughts, which is the Holy Spirit. If Christ is in you, he has already given you all the power you need, the Holy Spirit. And who has more power? The Holy Spirit in you. 2 Timothy 1.7 says God isn’t giving you fear, but he has GIVEN YOU A SPIRIT OF POWER. You have that power right now. And he has ALL power, so don’t let the thoughts intimidate you. Realize and know YOU have power over it. Turn the tables on it with the truth. Stand on that fact and don’t let it move you. Say it’s ME who has power over YOU!
But what about what Job405 said about the thoughts of foolishness?
 
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