Feeling depressed and now sad and guilty over a friendship

s1980

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Can i please ask for prayer. I have been feeling up and down feelings of loneliness, total unmotivation, sadness and a need for attention mostly I think because of Covid and isolation. I am married and have a wonderful family but most days I am working from home alone and feel very alone.

I have made the effort to meet and make new friends over the last few weeks and it has helped somewhat. But suddenly one friend is now ignoring me and I find myself completely beating myself up about what I could have done or said wrong to offend or hurt that person.

I have been in even more tears with this feeling that I could have hurt someone but I honestly cant figure out what it is i may have done or said. this was last week and I have tried to text and call but this person is now ignoring all my messages.

I am very emotional and when i get like this i do tend to send alot of messages and keep trying to resolve it so I feel like a fool for coming on to strong and being pushy.

i am going to back off now but i am feeling hurt and confused over what went wrong and what i should do not to get things back. i just hate the feeling that i may have upset or hurt someone unknowingly and not ever have a chance to make things right

this has totally consumed my thoughts and feelings for the last few days that i find myself constantly checking my phone and praying for a response, any response at all but nothing. i just want this situation resolved so it is not hanging over me and giving me feelings of guilt.
 

pdudgeon

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From your letter, I would say that you have already done your part in trying to resolve an issue between yourself and that person.
But at the same time, you also have to give them time to miss you.

I know that sounds strange when they are so much on your mind, but sometimes "love bombing" just repels rather than attracts. hugs :groupray:
 
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s1980

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From your letter, I would say that you have already done your part in trying to resolve an issue between yourself and that person.
But at the same time, you also have to give them time to miss you.

I know that sounds strange when they are so much on your mind, but sometimes "love bombing" just repels rather than attracts. hugs :groupray:

thanks for this perspective I can totally agree with your advice and regret so much having sent so many texts! I dont know why I do what I do sometimes when I am overcome with emotions and I am sure I have made the situation so much worse!
 
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ajcarey

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Can i please ask for prayer. I have been feeling up and down feelings of loneliness, total unmotivation, sadness and a need for attention mostly I think because of Covid and isolation. I am married and have a wonderful family but most days I am working from home alone and feel very alone.

I have made the effort to meet and make new friends over the last few weeks and it has helped somewhat. But suddenly one friend is now ignoring me and I find myself completely beating myself up about what I could have done or said wrong to offend or hurt that person.

I have been in even more tears with this feeling that I could have hurt someone but I honestly cant figure out what it is i may have done or said. this was last week and I have tried to text and call but this person is now ignoring all my messages.

I am very emotional and when i get like this i do tend to send alot of messages and keep trying to resolve it so I feel like a fool for coming on to strong and being pushy.

i am going to back off now but i am feeling hurt and confused over what went wrong and what i should do not to get things back. i just hate the feeling that i may have upset or hurt someone unknowingly and not ever have a chance to make things right

this has totally consumed my thoughts and feelings for the last few days that i find myself constantly checking my phone and praying for a response, any response at all but nothing. i just want this situation resolved so it is not hanging over me and giving me feelings of guilt.

Since you can't think of something specific you said or did to hurt this person, there is no point feeling guilty and beating yourself up over it. If you really hurt them unjustly and they have been harmed thereby then they have a duty to confront you about it so you can understand what you might have done wrong and how you can resolve it. People will often walk out of friendships and Christian fellowship that seemed to be going very well without giving any reasons at all. Odds are that there were no valid reasons to exit like they did or they would have at least said why they were exiting. It is important to learn not to get sidetracked by vague and/or unfounded feelings of guilt- we can't do better than what we honestly know and understand as we honestly seek the Lord- and the Lord understands that. And it's important to overcome the need to have everything with everyone we know feeling resolved and square all the time- it is just not realistic and the Apostle's specific wording in this exhortation is very deliberate and very wise: "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." (Romans 12:18)

This season you are going through will pass eventually and God has made many promises for you to lay hold of and rest on. Cast your burden on Him and focus on doing what you already know to do to please Him and what He clearly reveals to you as you seek Him. He will honor that and His peace will sustain you.

"17 For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God? 18 And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear? 19 Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator." (1 Peter 4:17-19)

"6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: 9 Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. 10 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. 11 To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen." (1 Peter 5:6-11)
 
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LoricaLady

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I agree that if you can't think of anything wrong that you did, and you have been trying so hard to figure it out, that you probably didn't do anything wrong. Some people just do insensitive and unkind things. You "friend" could be one of them.

I pray you will let it go and are given direction for other sources of companionship and general peace.
 
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Paul4JC

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Lord we pray for s1980 for healing from this relationship. That she'd be able to move forward with her life according to your good will. That she'd trust you and your love and look to you continually. In Jesus name, Amen.
 
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Stephanie7

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Heavenly Father, I pray that You will reach the friends heart that they may answer even with a brief message or explanation, saying why they haven't been responding? I pray that s1980's husband and children will see her loneliness and keep her busy during the times they are at home and make her feel loved. I ask that You will be her first and foremost special friend, In Jesus Name, Amen
Your friend may be busy or unable to contact you at this time, and hasn't had time to respond so the absence of communication may have nothing to do with you. God bless you.
 
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Szilver

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Praying that the problem will get solved and the friendship gets back to normal.
I'm sorry you're going through this, I've been through something similar with a very close friend about two weeks ago. I know it can feel depressing, but it's not your fault in my opinion. Sending hugs and much love.
 
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