Hi All. New to this and hoping to get some guidance and assistance with my issues. I feel like I'm to blame for my mental struggles however my marriage isn't helping. Im 28 and my wife is 29
So I got married at the end of 2018, and while we were waiting for the house paperwork to go through we lived with my mum. During this time the realtor allowed us to do maintenance and start moving things into our home. During this time I wanted to do things at home. Clean, move stuff in etc however my wife didn't want to do anything until we could actually move in. Fine, I did what I wanted to without her. Now when everything went through and it was time for us to move in she got a domestic worker to assist with cleaning instead of doing it herself with me.
So anyway, we moved in and she was working at the time, and our house was located between our respective jobs. So i gave her my car (stick shift) and used another vehicle so that she has a good vehicle to travel to work. She damaged the rims and bumper and never apologized. So i took the car back and got her an automatic vehicle so it'll be easier for her. She went to work for 3 months after that then left work. She didn't give me a reason why, and every time I asked she'd get angry. Im generally timid in nature and due to my parents divorce I do my best to avoid conflict because it give me anxiety.
So she hasn't worked for over a year and its taking a strain financially but I'm managing. However she's making no effort to find a job and she doesn't help out around the house. She wakes up at 11am eats and watches TV until bedtime. When I ask her to prepare food she wants me to be there because she doesn't want to "serve" me, maybe she feels that its demeaning. Anyway I have to pay all the bills, clean, do laundry, work and everything else while I feel like she does nothing.
This along with other things have made me feel less attracted to her, hence our intimacy diminished and now she's upset that we don't have a intimate relationship and she doesn't feel a connection. I can't connect with her because I don't want to spend the rest of my life working so hard so she can do nothing. I feel like I don't have a teammate.
Yeah so some advice would be great. I spoke with my pastor the last time we had a fight and he suggested couples counseling however she refused counseling.
I feel like I'm being pushed to a point where I want to separate because I don't want to end up like my parents who lived together miserably for 13 years and at the same time. Its not fair that I have to do everything and she feels entitled to complain and treat me badly. She doesn't respect me and actually told me she doesn't
So I got married at the end of 2018, and while we were waiting for the house paperwork to go through we lived with my mum. During this time the realtor allowed us to do maintenance and start moving things into our home. During this time I wanted to do things at home. Clean, move stuff in etc however my wife didn't want to do anything until we could actually move in. Fine, I did what I wanted to without her. Now when everything went through and it was time for us to move in she got a domestic worker to assist with cleaning instead of doing it herself with me.
So anyway, we moved in and she was working at the time, and our house was located between our respective jobs. So i gave her my car (stick shift) and used another vehicle so that she has a good vehicle to travel to work. She damaged the rims and bumper and never apologized. So i took the car back and got her an automatic vehicle so it'll be easier for her. She went to work for 3 months after that then left work. She didn't give me a reason why, and every time I asked she'd get angry. Im generally timid in nature and due to my parents divorce I do my best to avoid conflict because it give me anxiety.
So she hasn't worked for over a year and its taking a strain financially but I'm managing. However she's making no effort to find a job and she doesn't help out around the house. She wakes up at 11am eats and watches TV until bedtime. When I ask her to prepare food she wants me to be there because she doesn't want to "serve" me, maybe she feels that its demeaning. Anyway I have to pay all the bills, clean, do laundry, work and everything else while I feel like she does nothing.
This along with other things have made me feel less attracted to her, hence our intimacy diminished and now she's upset that we don't have a intimate relationship and she doesn't feel a connection. I can't connect with her because I don't want to spend the rest of my life working so hard so she can do nothing. I feel like I don't have a teammate.
Yeah so some advice would be great. I spoke with my pastor the last time we had a fight and he suggested couples counseling however she refused counseling.
I feel like I'm being pushed to a point where I want to separate because I don't want to end up like my parents who lived together miserably for 13 years and at the same time. Its not fair that I have to do everything and she feels entitled to complain and treat me badly. She doesn't respect me and actually told me she doesn't