Had an ex of 6 years and our relationship was on-and-off, I was increasingly toxic and mentally abusive towards her. (if you are curious, see past post links of me)
PAS THREADS:
being a spoiled brat has become the end of a relationship
on the verge of killing myself.
Am I right to feel hate towards my ex-girlfriend?
We broke up because I didn't treat her as a priority and the spark just wasn't there anymore. I was bitter during the breakup. Because of the bitterness, I did a revenge thing where I show my ex and her new bf our past intimate texts. We had a really bad text fight with her and her new bf and calling me out as a pretender Christian and parted ways bitterly.
What I took note was how I was a pretending Christian and it made me live with extreme depression for 4 years. I left church (ghosted friends and family in the church) and ended badly since they needed a church youth leader (which was formerly me) to replace my position.
I went from moving on, self-reflection, discovering more of myself, accept I was toxic, abusive etc. (all my bad traits). I enrolled to self-improvement/productivity courses , books etc. and even public speaking and you name everything! just in the name of improving myself (these were in a span of 3 years) which hopefully did give me an open mind, my toxic traits slowly gone, and having a better mindset in all.
I tried to not be a pretender Christian so I had to do some meditating and rekindling my relationship with God. After all of that, I went back to church knowing all of these in mind and constantly improving myself and my mindset.
-I finally had the courage to say sorry to them finally after 4 plus years of doing a "finding myself" kind of thing. Because of COVID-19, I just sent them a letter of apology on a second facebook account that I have but in the end they blocked my account and not sure why.
When I went back to church, her husband kept having those angry stares at me (which he never does). each time I would cuddle with their baby in church, he would have that angry stares too. I think it might have to do with me sending an apology letter and he might be the one who read the letter and not her or that they both saw it.
Not sure if I did my part correctly, if I should have apologized in person or if I should just have leave them be and never apologize.
Let me know your thoughts.
PAS THREADS:
being a spoiled brat has become the end of a relationship
on the verge of killing myself.
Am I right to feel hate towards my ex-girlfriend?
We broke up because I didn't treat her as a priority and the spark just wasn't there anymore. I was bitter during the breakup. Because of the bitterness, I did a revenge thing where I show my ex and her new bf our past intimate texts. We had a really bad text fight with her and her new bf and calling me out as a pretender Christian and parted ways bitterly.
What I took note was how I was a pretending Christian and it made me live with extreme depression for 4 years. I left church (ghosted friends and family in the church) and ended badly since they needed a church youth leader (which was formerly me) to replace my position.
I went from moving on, self-reflection, discovering more of myself, accept I was toxic, abusive etc. (all my bad traits). I enrolled to self-improvement/productivity courses , books etc. and even public speaking and you name everything! just in the name of improving myself (these were in a span of 3 years) which hopefully did give me an open mind, my toxic traits slowly gone, and having a better mindset in all.
I tried to not be a pretender Christian so I had to do some meditating and rekindling my relationship with God. After all of that, I went back to church knowing all of these in mind and constantly improving myself and my mindset.
-I finally had the courage to say sorry to them finally after 4 plus years of doing a "finding myself" kind of thing. Because of COVID-19, I just sent them a letter of apology on a second facebook account that I have but in the end they blocked my account and not sure why.
When I went back to church, her husband kept having those angry stares at me (which he never does). each time I would cuddle with their baby in church, he would have that angry stares too. I think it might have to do with me sending an apology letter and he might be the one who read the letter and not her or that they both saw it.
Not sure if I did my part correctly, if I should have apologized in person or if I should just have leave them be and never apologize.
Let me know your thoughts.