My husband said, He is willing to Stand before God whilst continuing in sin.

Graced25 said:

My husband, of nearly 20 years, is a christian but left me after having an affair with another woman.
I didn't know this was happening behind my back. When I finally discovered his affair I said,
"You're committing adultery. This is wrong and it's hurting God and me"

His reply, "I'm willing to stand before God for what I am doing".

What does that comment mean?
He's continuing the affair and wants to divorce me.

I am absolutely broken and don't exactly know where to go from here.
Our Pastor is aware of what is happening but he denies being in a relationship with anyone to our pastor.

I am concerned for the comment.
Why is he not frightened of the consequences?

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I am sorry dear sister. I think it means that he wants to continue his affair and sin against you and God sadly. Sounds like he has has lost his faith so for the moment does not consider God. You can pray for him but it sounds like he would rather continue in sin rather then return to God. As the scriptures teach men love darkness rather then light because their deeds were evil. God will strengthen you and is close to you even when sometimes we may not see him. Lean on him and he will be your strength.

God bless

Graced25 said:

My husband, of nearly 20 years, is a christian but left me after having an affair with another woman.
I didn't know this was happening behind my back. When I finally discovered his affair I said,
"You're committing adultery. This is wrong and it's hurting God and me"

His reply, "I'm willing to stand before God for what I am doing".

What does that comment mean - "I am willing to stand before God for what I am doing"
He's continuing the affair and wants to divorce me.

I am absolutely broken and don't exactly know where to go from here.
Our Pastor is aware of what is happening but he denies being in a relationship with anyone to our pastor.

I am concerned for the comment.
Why is he not frightened of the consequences?

Click to expand...

Since your pastor is aware of this why not ask him or her to help with counseling the two of you?

I sounds like his conscience is seared and he is deceived.

Prayers for mercy are in order.

You could ask your Pastor to arrange a meeting with you both? Just take a written summary of what he said to you and ask the pastor to read it - matters will be harder to deny...

Very sorry for your struggle -

Graced25 said:

My husband has left the Church as well and doesn't want to speak to the pastor, anymore, sadly.

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All you can do at this point is tell him you would like for the two of you to get counseling. You will just have to wait and pray to God for comfort and peace. Until your husband is willing to discuss this issue there is nothing that can be done.

Graced25 said:

My husband, of nearly 20 years, is a christian but left me after having an affair with another woman.
I didn't know this was happening behind my back. When I finally discovered his affair I said,
"You're committing adultery. This is wrong and it's hurting God and me"

His reply, "I'm willing to stand before God for what I am doing".

What does that comment mean - "I am willing to stand before God for what I am doing"
He's continuing the affair and wants to divorce me.

I am absolutely broken and don't exactly know where to go from here.
Our Pastor is aware of what is happening but he denies being in a relationship with anyone to our pastor.

I am concerned for the comment.
Why is he not frightened of the consequences?

Click to expand...

I know it probably doesn't help but you aren't alone. Some of us understand full well the pain you are feeling right now.

You must consider your marriage from all angles and why he feels justified by the decision to walk away and find another. This is beyond an affair. He’s willing to end it and that usually references deep seeded issues.

You didn’t get here overnight. Reflect on complaints, disappointments, and problems you've experienced. View the situation even handedly. You’ve both played a part.

If you want to restore your marriage you must be willing to forgive and open to the Lord’s work in you both. Ask Him to make you a wife who honors and respects her husband. Ask Him to make your husband a man who loves and cherishes his wife.

I would seek companionship with a mature Christian woman with a stable marriage. Ask your pastor for a suggestion. It may be tempting to discuss the issue with others but I don’t advise it. It could make things awkward if you reconcile.

Keep love in the forefront of your thoughts and affirm your love for him and desire for healing and restoration every day. Reach out to Christian ministries and ask for prayer. Most allow you to submit the requests online. Do it every month. Having intercessors on your team will help.

Avoid blame...for yourself and for him. Entrust the matter to God and rest in Him until He resolves it on your behalf.

~Bella

Graced25 said:

My husband has left the Church as well and doesn't want to speak to the pastor, anymore, sadly.

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It seems that your husband is not, or is no longer, a Christian.

Sadly, that means that the marriage is over.

Praying for you.

Graced25 said:

His reply, "I'm willing to stand before God for what I am doing".

What does that comment mean - "I am willing to stand before God for what I am doing"

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If there is anything at all important in his comment, it would only be that he is not about to back down from the affair or explain it. But mainly, it looks like he wanted some sort of snappy come-back to your irrefutable statement about his having committed adultery.

Graced25 said:

I am concerned for the comment.
Why is he not frightened of the consequences?

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It could be empty bravado to save face in an argument with you, and there could actually be fear lurking beneath. Or it could be a cold expression of a person who has truly seared his conscience and doesn't care anymore. Ask the Lord for discernment so you can know what you're dealing with and how to respond, both verbally and in action.

If it's the former there might be hope for the marriage. If the latter then you probably need to reconcile yourself to that. There's an old book, Love Must Be Tough by Dobson, that's very helpful in showing that boundaries have to be drawn against a spouse in serious sin.

Graced25 said:

What does that comment mean - "I am willing to stand before God for what I am doing"
He's continuing the affair and wants to divorce me.

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It means he doesn't care about what he is doing, if its sin or not or whether it will land him in hell or not. Some people are like that, they prefer the pleasures of this world more than eternal blessings. Let him have what he wants.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 1 Corinthians 7:15

Just wondering if drugs are involved - this can mess up ones grip on reality and combined with say Zen Buddhism which is atheistic and amoral you have a seriously deceptive cocktail.