Earth is hell for me because of my afflictions
Hell is obviously hell that you don't want to go to
and the more I think and read on heaven the more that becomes hell for me too, "think on the promises of God" I do. "focus your mind on eternity" I do. That's a big part of the problem.
I already know I have nothing to look forward to in this life, it's a complete wash for me.
but I just have this pessimistic view of heaven and the new earth too. Like I'm so used to never getting anything I want and always getting what I hate that I just don't expect it to stop in eternity, because of scripture promising an end to some things I'd like and promising me that the one thing I can look forward to is singing (which I hate) to a person who has made this life on earth Hell on earth for me. Sometimes that feels like an insult, to praise and worship and do an activity I loathe for a person who has afflicted me, denied me good things, and then promised me I will never get some things I want forever.
My nephews and niece bring me joy, they bring my sister even more joy, and that brings me sorrow knowing I will never be able to experience that joy, as I'll NEVER have children of my own.
Sometimes I think the best thing God can do for me is to just wipe me from existence, that would be the most benevolent thing to make it so that I'm just not conscious anymore, then there is no loss and no negativity.
and yet I fear that because the one thing that Christians always try to be helpful with is that "God will change your desires" which doesn't sound like fulfilling desires as much as it sounds like brainwashing, and to me that's basically not existing either, if you met me in heaven or the new earth and I just love singing and eating bananas, that's not me, that's my replacement.
Yesterday I got the premonition that God would withhold another dream of mine, even in eternity: to travel through space. That God would limit us to just the one planet forever. That for me would be so crushingly disappointing to me. I can't take that, that there's a way that I'd be disappointed in God, but I can see it happening to me the more things He promises to withhold. I can't be happy just falling on my face and singing. That is the 3rd Hell for me.
How do I deconstruct the third hell?
Often, I too had thought that I was not really partial to sitting around singing songs, especially forever, since I am a high energy person. I would probably prefer a mission of some sort and since God is love and knows our thoughts, He already knows this. Christ came that we may live more abundantly not to stifle our creativity! I wrote on this to help connect the dots so we may better understand how to live this abundant life according to scripture. God wants to bless you but to do so we must gain some understanding on how this all works. God bless,
your post breaks my heart and I hope this helps...
The Abundant Life
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.
And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. Psalms 1:1-3
Here, in this scripture, this spiritual writing, the way to achieve the abundant life is put forth. First, it says to not listen to people who know nothing of God. The reason for this of course is that they know nothing of spiritual, “things” or how the world operates. This world operates on spiritual law even if you do not believe it. Jesus explained this in Matthew when he said,
for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things; and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof, in the day of judgement. For by thy words thou shall be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned. Matt. 12:34-35. Your words come from what you believe, what is in the core of your being, your heart. These words do not have to be spoken, they are your very thoughts which are creating your life according to what you think and say. This is huge! Once this is understood, action can be taken to adjust your mind so you may pursue the course you desire.
It also says in the opening Psalm that, “the blessed man”, or woman “delights in the law of the Lord” and he “meditates”, on this day and night. So, this is not some passing thought about this spiritual system but thinking intensely on how this spiritual law operates and controlling one’s mind. This is why Christianity or spiritual law does not work for some people. They may even go to church to gain a deeper understanding but then walk out and live just like the people of the world who have no knowledge or understanding. This is not faith that there even
IS, a spiritual system, so depending on what they believe it is done unto them. To have real faith we must first learn that there is a spiritual system giving to us according to what we think, feel and do. Then, when we realize this, that God is real, that power moves in the unseen realm according to your thoughts and words, we may put our faith into motion creating the abundant life.
I am the door; by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:9-10
Jesus came to explain how the things of God operate so we could have “life” and have it more abundantly. Everything in this spiritual system works by faith, that is, what we believe and how much love is in us. That is why throughout the scriptures it speaks of the connection between the heart, the center of your very being, your words, faith, which can be faith in good things or bad and corresponding results which are manifested in your life. The scriptures are the keys to the kingdom and when we think correctly we can manifest good results.
This also works in good times or bad. As you see in the Psalm even in times of, “drought”, the leaf shall not whither. That is, you will be blessed no matter whether it is a recession, a time of political unrest, regardless of circumstance if you are living with your ear inclined to your inner intuition trusting in God to give you guidance, you will know what to do.
Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8
This changes life! Knowing these things you can truly have life, a good one, blessed with peace, love, happiness and prosperity. Yes, if anyone is lacking in any of these areas ask and it will be given, believing that you receive that which you ask for. This is “calling things which are not as though they were”, another powerful scriptural concept.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33
The, “righteousness” spoken of here is living according to God’s ways which are a divine system of goodness and love with spiritual law operating as the foundation. Everything is systematically organized under spiritual law so we are first to seek this “kingdom”, within us.
The scriptures also explain that God is in and through all things, of course that includes us and I have previously written about the fact that we are made in the, “image of God”. Scripture also defines God as love, light and spirit so it may not be the God you first believed in as a child, some large theologian we all probably pictured at one time. Many of us have had let downs over the years to say the least but know this, we are living in a spiritual realm which responds to your thoughts, so live in love, seek that which is good, ask inwardly for guidance and you will be blessed. For you are a child, son or daughter of the living God and it is His good pleasure to give you the kingdom.
Until next time, love and light to all!
Author: therealmbydanielmears
Daniel Mears is a spiritual author from Phelan, CA who recently released the book entitled, The Realm. He is the son of a literally illumined minister and an eye witness to this powerful event, the wondrous light of God!
View all posts by therealmbydanielmears
Author
therealmbydanielmearsPosted on
October 22, 2018Categories
Uncategorized
