I remain unclear on your thought.
Since Paul says that the wife must submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ and you say the husband and wife must mutually submit,
1. Should Christ submit to the church (which is a spiritual marriage) based on the principle of mutual submission?
2. Do you find Paul analogy faulty?
My thought is that this analogy, like every analogy, breaks down if pushed past its useful point.
To take an unrelated example; Paul elsewhere talks about life as a race. Now that is obviously a useful analogy when we think about it in terms of the discipline required to win a race (etc); but it would be pushed past its useful point if, for example, someone decided on that basis to deny him or herself sleep, because they had to strain ahead in the race (and so on).
Similarly with the analogy of marriage; it's a useful analogy when it teaches us helpful things about marriage or about the life of the church. It's not useful when we try to apply it in ways which go beyond its intention and end up in unhelpful outcomes.
I would argue that introducing concepts of power and hierarchy into marriage has gone past the useful point of the analogy. Husbands are not actually gods, and our relationships with them shouldn't treat them as if they are.
So the analogy is not faulty, but like every analogy, it is limited.
Note that it's not me saying husband and wife must mutually submit; Paul says it right there in Ephesians 5:21!
This idea of one flesh has a connection to the act of sex, but on a deeper level, it refers to the husband and wife becoming "one organism" that consists of a head/leader and a body/helper.
When Jesus says "the Father and I are one", he also says, "I always do the will of the Father". This "two being one" does not imply equality, it implies that the Father is the leader and Jesus is the follower.
Paul extends this headship idea from the Father to the Son, to the husband and then to the wife:
1 Corinthians 11:3
3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
So in the Bible, the husband is specifically said to be the head of the wife.
added: Jesus did the will of the Father, the husband should do the will of Jesus and the wife should do the will of her husband. That is how Paul sees it.
No no no no no. This is the heresy of subordinationism; the idea that the persons of the Trinity are not co-equal. In the Trinity there is not hierarchy; there is not leader and follower. (See the Athanasian Creed). In Jesus' earthly, human life, he was obedient to God; but that was obedience to something of which he was, in his godhood, a part.
Husband and wife becoming one is not about one taking control of the other; it is about a coming together in will as well as in body.
And again, "head" here is not about control.
