The Lymmerick contest

/me doesn't care if it was five lines or not

If I had no nose
And eleven toes
I would be a freak
With a red cheek
that in the dark glows

I like to drink Mountain Dew
I think that you should too
Tastes good to slurp
It makes you burp
Just make sure to say "excuse you"

/me stomps back, picks up her eyeballs, and stomps back out.

Whooooooooooo stretched the margins?

There once was a girl from the south
Who had a really smart mouth
She got smart with her Mom
Who beat her like a drum
And now she closes her mouth

Her name was Betty McSue
She lived right next to the zoo
She always sneaked in
With one evil grin
Until she step in lion poo

It is the stupidest thing I've ever wrote, but oh well...

Here's a limerick I wrote several years ago about Jesus:


The Young Man from Nazareth

There once was a young man from Nazareth
Who knew that his work would be good
He took greatest care,
Did his best to prepare
To spread kindness the best way he could.

This man, gentle young man from Nazareth
Knew his father sure had the right plan
When he said to his son,
"See you when your work's done,
And, bring home everyone that you can.

"You know, son, the world's larger than Nazareth.
It's a vast world, as you'll very soon see,
It's full of good people,
And I’m sure that they'll love you.
Thanks for offering to tell them of me."

One day, our young hero left Nazareth,
He packed up his things and set out
To teach everyone
Of his father's great love,
Through the land, his word soon spread about.

 
As he started his work with the people,
Our hero was often dismayed
To see that the love
He hoped with them to share
Was rejected, then he was betrayed.

The young man who departed from Nazareth,
With high hopes to better the world.
Now was spurned by some people
Who engendered much hate,
And this hatred on him was unfurled.

The efforts of the young man from Nazareth
Were not lost through his death on a cross.
Instead, his love was soon spread
Throughout lands, near and far,
By the people who grieved at his loss.

There's hope to be with the young Nazarine
That some day, in heaven, we’ll be
If we practice his lessons
And learn how to love,
His promise to us he will keep.

 

Patty