What are the best ways to avoid experiencing idolatry toward somebody attractive who I pray for?

jintercession

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Hi all! I'm new to this forum ;)

So basically my dilemma started out when a classmate introduced me to a boy band 5 years ago and I really liked them, but I didn't tell my parents about them for a whole year, just because they had a handful of songs sprinkled throughout their discography containing foul language. Also, the leader of the group is an atheist and he supports sins that God doesn't condone and he even broke the company computer by downloading inappropriate content (lol). In fact I speculate the reason he's opted for atheism could be because he got into inappropriate content when he was only 8 and lied to his mother in order to pursue his passion so he doesn't want to be held accountable to God but I don't know him personally so I may be way off.

Now I just thought I could just enjoy the group performances and steer clear of this guy (knowing my tendencies to become like people I like), but it's kind of difficult as he writes most of the lyrics and has a prominent spokesperson role in the group. It also doesn't help that I'm attracted to intelligence, height, confidence and a deep, raspy voice; all which he conveniently happens to posses.

Even so, I was actually fine a couple of years ago, until a friend of mine pointed out our similarities such as clumsiness and an affinity for languages. Day after day she would incessantly send photos of him to me and now I can positively say that I'm besotted with him. Now, every time I try to write a song or draw a picture or study, my mind drifts to thoughts of him, painting him through rose-colored glasses as a hero, even though in actual fact, he's never directly impacted my life .

Don't get me wrong, he seems like a polite, likable, charming guy and I wish him no harm。 I just want him to get saved desperately and thus pray for him everyday, so I don't want to forget about him entirely, however I do fear my obsession with him is distracting me from God's calling on my life.

Any help appreciated, thanks ;)
 

Ronit

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Hi all! I'm new to this forum ;)

So basically my dilemma started out when a classmate introduced me to a boy band 5 years ago and I really liked them, but I didn't tell my parents about them for a whole year, just because they had a handful of songs sprinkled throughout their discography containing foul language. Also, the leader of the group is an atheist and he supports sins that God doesn't condone and he even broke the company computer by downloading inappropriate content (lol). In fact I speculate the reason he's opted for atheism could be because he got into inappropriate content when he was only 8 and lied to his mother in order to pursue his passion so he doesn't want to be held accountable to God but I don't know him personally so I may be way off.

Now I just thought I could just enjoy the group performances and steer clear of this guy (knowing my tendencies to become like people I like), but it's kind of difficult as he writes most of the lyrics and has a prominent spokesperson role in the group. It also doesn't help that I'm attracted to intelligence, height, confidence and a deep, raspy voice; all which he conveniently happens to posses.

Even so, I was actually fine a couple of years ago, until a friend of mine pointed out our similarities such as clumsiness and an affinity for languages. Day after day she would incessantly send photos of him to me and now I can positively say that I'm besotted with him. Now, every time I try to write a song or draw a picture or study, my mind drifts to thoughts of him, painting him through rose-colored glasses as a hero, even though in actual fact, he's never directly impacted my life .

Don't get me wrong, he seems like a polite, likable, charming guy and I wish him no harm。 I just want him to get saved desperately and thus pray for him everyday, so I don't want to forget about him entirely, however I do fear my obsession with him is distracting me from God's calling on my life.

Any help appreciated, thanks ;)
This is completely normal. All my life I've had crushes on rock stars. (Eddie Van Halen, Jimmy Page)
But there comes a time when you need to make a choice on how much time you are giving this idol. And it is an idol. You don't know him personally, you only are attracted to the persona.
Think about it? Would this persona give you the time of day? If he would that's great and if he didn't would that completely crush you heart? What if he had a bad day and treated you very rudely? Would your feelings change? Probably. Mine would.

Also realize that this singer or band member is a person like you and me with good things and bad things about them. They are super talented Humans.

It's fine to have crushes especially when you are a kid. Even as an adult.
It's fine to admire them. My old boss was wild for the Rolling Stones' Keith Richards. She had his photo on her desk and totally gushed over him.
But he never met her or knew her. She didn't know him either- She was in love with his persona. :)

The real question is ?
Are you giving all of your thought time to the idol or to God?
It sounds like the Rocker has some real issues with sin. Ask The Lord if this is what he wants you involved in? Liking a famous person.
Keep balance between God and your Rocker.
Ask God to help you with your talents and gifts. He gave them to you :)
Oh and don't forget to pray for the Salvation of the Rocker.
Most of them are complete wrecks and need the love and mercy of Almighty God!
Best Wishes,
Ronit
 
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bèlla

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One of the reasons Satan has a stronghold on celebrities is the inability of believers to keep God’s agenda in the forefront of their thoughts. They’re besotted with their talent, wealth, looks or lifestyle. But God is interested in winning souls and transforming lives.

When you move beyond the accolades, there’s a soul at stake. If you saw him the way He does you’d know what to do. You’re blinded by admiration and neglecting your duty. Pray for him. Put the fantasy away.

~Bella
 
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Radagast

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Put the fantasy away.

Personally, I think that, in this kind of situation, "cold turkey" is the only way to go.

That is, throwing away everything to do with the fantasy object, and endeavouring to think of them no more.
 
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bèlla

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Personally, I think that, in this kind of situation, "cold turkey" is the only way to go.

That is, throwing away everything to do with the fantasy object, and endeavouring to think of them no more.

That would depend if the initial interest was due to spiritual reasons that were perverted. I pray for many high profile individuals and have a burden to see them come to faith. I appreciate their talents as divinely bestowed. But I’m not smitten or fixated on them.

Oftentimes I feel saddened when I see them with celebrity pastors. I wonder if their needs are being served.

~Bella
 
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GospelS

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This is a trap and an obstruction. I don't see the Spirit of Christ in your attraction towards him. The only way out from sexual temptation is to flee from it and flee immediately before it lures you even further and defiles your mind, body, and soul which is the temple of the Holy Spirit. You cannot talk your way out of it or hang near it in your own strength. We don't try to manage temptation but flee from it. You pray and then leave it to God's will. He hears that. You don't need to pray the same thing repeatedly, every single day and all the time; that would blind you into self-seeking, eventually.

Get busy and make attempts to not remember him over and over. Cut everything/ everyone that is helping the idolatry and slip away to God. If you fear your obsession with him is distracting you from God's calling on your life, then you should want to forget about him entirely and choose God's best interest for both of you. Consider it as an experience and an opportunity to crucify your flesh and grow another level in spirit. Guard you heart. Cast down imaginations by the word and spirit of God. This is a warfare within on those who are battling for eternity to trick and steal away the sheep of God. Fight hard. Be a good soldier of our Lord. Saturate your mind with the word of God. Do you not know our God is a jealous God?

Avoid it completely and have nothing to do with it. Give no chance to the devil. Don't even let the devil try to reason about it. Remember how the devil deceived Eve as she tried to reason with it. Remember what Joseph did when king's wife tried to distract him (Genesis 39). Remember how Samson was tempted and deceived by Delilah (Judges 16).

- Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. Psalms 32:9
- Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness. 2 Timothy 2:22
- Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him. 1 Peter 5:8
- Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. James 1:14-15
- Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God...Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4
 
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disciple Clint

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Hi all! I'm new to this forum ;)

So basically my dilemma started out when a classmate introduced me to a boy band 5 years ago and I really liked them, but I didn't tell my parents about them for a whole year, just because they had a handful of songs sprinkled throughout their discography containing foul language. Also, the leader of the group is an atheist and he supports sins that God doesn't condone and he even broke the company computer by downloading inappropriate content (lol). In fact I speculate the reason he's opted for atheism could be because he got into inappropriate content when he was only 8 and lied to his mother in order to pursue his passion so he doesn't want to be held accountable to God but I don't know him personally so I may be way off.

Now I just thought I could just enjoy the group performances and steer clear of this guy (knowing my tendencies to become like people I like), but it's kind of difficult as he writes most of the lyrics and has a prominent spokesperson role in the group. It also doesn't help that I'm attracted to intelligence, height, confidence and a deep, raspy voice; all which he conveniently happens to posses.

Even so, I was actually fine a couple of years ago, until a friend of mine pointed out our similarities such as clumsiness and an affinity for languages. Day after day she would incessantly send photos of him to me and now I can positively say that I'm besotted with him. Now, every time I try to write a song or draw a picture or study, my mind drifts to thoughts of him, painting him through rose-colored glasses as a hero, even though in actual fact, he's never directly impacted my life .

Don't get me wrong, he seems like a polite, likable, charming guy and I wish him no harm。 I just want him to get saved desperately and thus pray for him everyday, so I don't want to forget about him entirely, however I do fear my obsession with him is distracting me from God's calling on my life.

Any help appreciated, thanks ;)
There is one thing as a male that I would ask you to consider, would you want a boyfriend who did not respect you as a person, who wanted you only for his own gratification? The inappropriate content addition is nothing to LOL about as you did, it says something about how he values women. You are better than that, remember who you are in God's eyes, how much He loves you, you deserve far better from a man and you will find a man some day who love you and value you as a child of God.
 
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Carl Emerson

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Are you in fellowship?

Find a pastor and repent of the idolatry, then get him to break the soul tie to this individual.

Your freedom in Jesus is being robbed.

Sounds like you are breaking the first commandment.

This fantasy will potentially rob you of God's best purpose in life if not dealt with forthwith.
 
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Dave G.

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This is a trap and an obstruction. I don't see the Spirit of Christ in your attraction towards him. The only way out from sexual temptation is to flee from it and flee immediately before it lures you even further and defiles your mind, body, and soul which is the temple of the Holy Spirit. You cannot talk your way out of it or hang near it in your own strength. We don't try to manage temptation but flee from it. You pray and then leave it to God's will. He hears that. You don't need to pray the same thing repeatedly, every single day and all the time; that might blind you into self-seeking, eventually.

Get busy and make attempts to not remember him over and over. Cut everything/ everyone that is helping the idolatry and slip away to God. If you fear your obsession with him is distracting you from God's calling on your life, then you should want to forget about him entirely and choose God's best interest for both of you. Consider it as an experience and an opportunity to crucify your flesh and grow another level in spirit. Guard you heart. Cast down imaginations by the word and spirit of God. This is a warfare within on those who are battling for eternity to trick and steal away the sheep of God. Fight hard. Be a good soldier of our Lord. Saturate your mind with the word of God. Do you not know our God is a jealous God?

Avoid it completely and have nothing to do with it. Give no chance to the devil. Don't even let the devil try to reason about it. Remember how the devil deceived Eve as she tried to reason with it. Remember what Joseph did when king's wife tried to distract him (Genesis 39). Remember how Samson was tempted and deceived by Delilah (Judges 16).

- Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. Psalms 32:9
- Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness. 2 Timothy 2:22
- Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him. 1 Peter 5:8
- Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. James 1:14-15
- Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God...Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4
Sound advise here given from the heart !
 
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ForHimbyHim

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There is one thing as a male that I would ask you to consider, would you want a boyfriend who did not respect you as a person, who wanted you only for his own gratification? The inappropriate content addition is nothing to LOL about as you did, it says something about how he values women. You are better than that, remember who you are in God's eyes, how much He loves you, you deserve far better from a man and you will find a man some day who love you and value you as a child of God.
Agreed the inappropriate content industry fuels child trafficking and loads of sexual crimes. Many people on the other end of the screen are forced into having unprotected sex and thus contract many std's, definitely nothing to lol about.
 
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DebbieJ

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Nothing wrong with being a fan and having a crush. It's just a phase and no boy band lasts forever. It's a lot of fun being in concerts and being one of the screaming fans. It's a joy of being a youth.

I don't think its idolatry. Some people go overboard saying that your hobbies can become an idol because you so spend so much time on it. You car can be an idol because you're an enthusiasts and love cars so much. It can be really annoying and legalistic.

Idolatry is simply worshiping a god -- another god. It's a religion. You put your faith and sacred devotion to this god by praying to it and asking for blessings or guidance. You bow down to it to worship it in fear and reverence.

People do not usually do that to musicians or a boy band. It's weird just thinking about it.

So, yes, go out there and have fun because youth can't last forever. Just don't do drugs or do anything illegal. But don't forget that you're still a Christian.
 
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eleos1954

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Hi all! I'm new to this forum ;)

So basically my dilemma started out when a classmate introduced me to a boy band 5 years ago and I really liked them, but I didn't tell my parents about them for a whole year, just because they had a handful of songs sprinkled throughout their discography containing foul language. Also, the leader of the group is an atheist and he supports sins that God doesn't condone and he even broke the company computer by downloading inappropriate content (lol). In fact I speculate the reason he's opted for atheism could be because he got into inappropriate content when he was only 8 and lied to his mother in order to pursue his passion so he doesn't want to be held accountable to God but I don't know him personally so I may be way off.

Now I just thought I could just enjoy the group performances and steer clear of this guy (knowing my tendencies to become like people I like), but it's kind of difficult as he writes most of the lyrics and has a prominent spokesperson role in the group. It also doesn't help that I'm attracted to intelligence, height, confidence and a deep, raspy voice; all which he conveniently happens to posses.

Even so, I was actually fine a couple of years ago, until a friend of mine pointed out our similarities such as clumsiness and an affinity for languages. Day after day she would incessantly send photos of him to me and now I can positively say that I'm besotted with him. Now, every time I try to write a song or draw a picture or study, my mind drifts to thoughts of him, painting him through rose-colored glasses as a hero, even though in actual fact, he's never directly impacted my life .

Don't get me wrong, he seems like a polite, likable, charming guy and I wish him no harm。 I just want him to get saved desperately and thus pray for him everyday, so I don't want to forget about him entirely, however I do fear my obsession with him is distracting me from God's calling on my life.

Any help appreciated, thanks ;)

Obsession
The domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire

Ask the Lord to help you overcome these desires/ideas/thoughts

painting him through rose-colored glasses as a hero,

“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” James 1:22

“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” 1 John 1:8

Continue to pray for him to come to know the Lord ... and for yourself to be protected from self-deception and rid you (dispel) false ideas about him.

You know you are having false ideas about him ... so when you have them ... admit to yourself .... these thoughts are not true. Away from me satan!

May the Lord help you dispel untrue thoughts. Amen
 
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Dave G.

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I see an easy lesson in this to relate to but so important . I mean we were all young once and did things against our parents will, at least I know I did. This breaks a commandment but we are young and learn hopefully before that becomes a habit we regret one day, we repent and move on. The man you refer to is a man at enmity with God, his lyrics contain words that in themselves are at enmity with God and you knowing this causes you to hide from your parents such work, which too is at enmity with God. There is absolutely nothing profitable in this for anyone but Satan. Unsaved, the man lives in sin, his work is sinful and it has caused you to sin. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, don't get me wrong but can you see the error ? Satan, the enemy, is already at work in this . And before we even get into the charges of idolatry. Speaking of which, God outright states to put nothing before Him... By condoning the man and his work are you not putting that above the wishes of God ?

Whenever we give a little credit to evil ( try to see good in it for instance) we have opened the door for it to waltz in and rob kill and destroy. Destroy What ? Our pure hearts for God, our walk with Him and our sense of security in Him. If we compromise, the enemy wins. So we see nothing profitable in this guy or his music. The hard part of the lesson for you is to turn away. If to pray for the mans salvation can you do that and still cut away/block out what you desire in him ? This is the ultimate part of the lesson for all of us who are in Christ. We see the potential in someone but we must have our minds focused on Christ. This is something we acquire along the way.

You may need an accountability partner who could pray with you about this guy so as to stay focused on the salvation call. Lest you fall into lustful thoughts. Just sayin.

That's my short take. This actually is foundational truth, it's a core part of our walk as real Christians. That we seize our minds and turn our eyes to Christ in every situation. I could go on and on but I'll stop here and just say that you need to win this battle because it's so core and foundational. This lesson can be used to set the stage as to how you move forward in your Christian walk. The enemy is at work, cast him down. Seek Christ, walk in the spirit. We all slip, get up and keep walking and above all never quit.
 
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RaymondG

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Hi all! I'm new to this forum ;)

So basically my dilemma started out when a classmate introduced me to a boy band 5 years ago and I really liked them, but I didn't tell my parents about them for a whole year, just because they had a handful of songs sprinkled throughout their discography containing foul language. Also, the leader of the group is an atheist and he supports sins that God doesn't condone and he even broke the company computer by downloading inappropriate content (lol). In fact I speculate the reason he's opted for atheism could be because he got into inappropriate content when he was only 8 and lied to his mother in order to pursue his passion so he doesn't want to be held accountable to God but I don't know him personally so I may be way off.

Now I just thought I could just enjoy the group performances and steer clear of this guy (knowing my tendencies to become like people I like), but it's kind of difficult as he writes most of the lyrics and has a prominent spokesperson role in the group. It also doesn't help that I'm attracted to intelligence, height, confidence and a deep, raspy voice; all which he conveniently happens to posses.

Even so, I was actually fine a couple of years ago, until a friend of mine pointed out our similarities such as clumsiness and an affinity for languages. Day after day she would incessantly send photos of him to me and now I can positively say that I'm besotted with him. Now, every time I try to write a song or draw a picture or study, my mind drifts to thoughts of him, painting him through rose-colored glasses as a hero, even though in actual fact, he's never directly impacted my life .

Don't get me wrong, he seems like a polite, likable, charming guy and I wish him no harm。 I just want him to get saved desperately and thus pray for him everyday, so I don't want to forget about him entirely, however I do fear my obsession with him is distracting me from God's calling on my life.

Any help appreciated, thanks ;)
I would say, continue as you are, with one exception.... Instead of trying to get him saved desperately......Try to desperately get yourself saved, or moreso in line with God, if you believe yourself to be saved already. I suspect that when you get desperate for your own soul salvation, all the problem you mentions, will just fade away...
 
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ChristianGirl_96

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Hello!

This is a chance for you to grow spiritually. Use this as a opportunity to ask the Holy Spirit to forgive you for your sins. I am praying for you too. Do not fret, this is totally normal teenage behaviour. But please remember that you need to make a wise choice before it is too late. Ask yourself this question “What do I want from life”? If you know that you really love God, let his presence wash over you completely. Good luck to you. Perhaps what you also desperately need is a Christian therapist or counsellor. Try to remain upbeat and positive.
You are not alone here. We all make mistakes. What truly matters is whether or not you feel sorry for your actions and are fully prepared to commit to God once more. Instead of despairing that all is lost (this is not true) you should ideally use this time as a lesson to teach, preach and influence other young misled Christians to trust Him again. I hope that this helps you. You can even conquer the devil head on. Say no to temptation. Defy the enemy. He means nothing to you. This is a test from Satan. Do not give up however.
 
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SeekingGloryOnThisJourney

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Hi all! I'm new to this forum ;)

So basically my dilemma started out when a classmate introduced me to a boy band 5 years ago and I really liked them, but I didn't tell my parents about them for a whole year, just because they had a handful of songs sprinkled throughout their discography containing foul language. Also, the leader of the group is an atheist and he supports sins that God doesn't condone and he even broke the company computer by downloading inappropriate content (lol). In fact I speculate the reason he's opted for atheism could be because he got into inappropriate content when he was only 8 and lied to his mother in order to pursue his passion so he doesn't want to be held accountable to God but I don't know him personally so I may be way off.

Now I just thought I could just enjoy the group performances and steer clear of this guy (knowing my tendencies to become like people I like), but it's kind of difficult as he writes most of the lyrics and has a prominent spokesperson role in the group. It also doesn't help that I'm attracted to intelligence, height, confidence and a deep, raspy voice; all which he conveniently happens to posses.

Even so, I was actually fine a couple of years ago, until a friend of mine pointed out our similarities such as clumsiness and an affinity for languages. Day after day she would incessantly send photos of him to me and now I can positively say that I'm besotted with him. Now, every time I try to write a song or draw a picture or study, my mind drifts to thoughts of him, painting him through rose-colored glasses as a hero, even though in actual fact, he's never directly impacted my life .

Don't get me wrong, he seems like a polite, likable, charming guy and I wish him no harm。 I just want him to get saved desperately and thus pray for him everyday, so I don't want to forget about him entirely, however I do fear my obsession with him is distracting me from God's calling on my life.

Any help appreciated, thanks ;)
Almost get into this sin- although I actually new the person.
Same steps to take however.
I’ve made many good memories with this person and I Praised God for it, but then I found myself thinking about him to much. I was afraid I should never see him again.
But since you don’t know this person, my advice alters a tad.
Go on a fast from him. How long can you go without him?
I know this is hard because when we like something, we will just think about it.
Fill your mind with something else. This was hard, but it works.
Pray more. Keep Praying for his salvation but remember: it isn’t your fault if he doesn’t. Guard your heart, for from it, all life flows.
 
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