[MOVED] Women Submitting To Their Husbands: What Christians Get Wrong

Sparagmos said:

Now why don’t you give us a list of where you fall short and what you struggle with? This list makes you look holier than any man I’ve ever met...

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Depending on whom you've met, I am. But I have been disciples by heroes and even my students have surpassed me. We've all fallen short of the glory of God.

Added: I would share my weaknesses and struggles but I am not anonymous and my wife has asked me not to share things that would reflect poorly on her or our family. One time my wife publically shared her struggles (which did not put me in a good light) and I finally understood her request.

So, I am too good a husband to share my problems publically. Ha! In general, they fall under pride, lust, fear, etc.

OldWiseGuy said:

I actually meant the sense of propriety and respect exercised by most.

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Spoilsport!

For some reason, the concept of a wife submitting to a 'stupid' or otherwise morally incorrect husband does not jive with the biblical saying about light being unable to walk alongside darkness.

Imagine a world where suddenly a new law is passed; for some supposedly good, you are now required to divorce after 15 years of marriage. Do you get the divorce because you believe that you're showing obedience to God by obeying the law, or do you stay married despite the law because God hates divorce?

This is what it boils down to.

Of course, I'm not a fan of divorce and that's not what I am pushing for; however, Oldwiseguy and Peter do have a point. It's a very big responsibility to lead--especially a wife, who requires the same love and respect given to himself(it is not mutual respect if one party's significance is being minimized). If a man shows himself to be incapable of such, I think it is within reason that the wife submit to God above even her husband and separated for a time until he has reconciled with God and been made clear the errors of his ways by the supporting church community and God.

Sometimes the hardest part of being a follower is knowing who to follow, and who's leading you astray.

OldWiseGuy said:

Found it fer ya.

Titus 2:1-5 King James Version (KJV)

"But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:

That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

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It's Isaiah 3 all over again my friend. Men are not leading, they don't want to lead, and the women are becoming arrogant and turn aside to hear from many teachers what their itching ears want to hear. 9 out of 10 of them will probably never repent of their futile and ungodly striving for equality (Philippians 2:5-8) and will suffer a burning away of their wood, hay and stubble that they tried to build upon Christ. Their traditions and philosophies are after the course of this world and they speak as those of this world, as despisers of authority (2 Timothy 3:3, Colossians 2:8).

The fact that the Scripture is overtly against their position, and the world asserts and celebrates it, should tell you what kind of quality it is of. It's a labour of fuel for the fire.

Peter J Barban said:

I think your point shows that most Christians don't understand biblical marriage and are in need of repentance and revival.

I married for many reasons, but I stay married in the hard times because that is what pleases God.

Likewise, I encourage husbands to sacrifice for their wives and wives submit to their husbands because that is what pleases God.

We may fall short of this holy goal, but we should not teach/counsel/encourage relationships that are contrary to the word of God.

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This is a diamond of wisdom, Peter, that I wish I could shake your hand for. The simplicity and beauty of desiring to please God, fully surrendered, at any cost. That we fail to do this doesn't surprise me. What does surprise me is how many Christians desire to fail this way and regard it not failure, but a great success. They glory in their shame.

LaBèlla said:

Given the divorce rate for Christians, I think most feel differently. Few marry with no concern or desire for happiness. We’re not altruists.

~Bella

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I completely gave up any ambition of being happy in marriage with my wife, and in a strange paradox of God's wisdom, found endless delight followed. Ironically, I started to enjoy the fight and happily endure the daily strivings and no longer found misery in any pain. Each day simply became another exercise in giving unrelenting selfless love as Christ so loved His church. It's a great privilege to suffer this way to please God, as God so teaches us to think if we listen (Acts 5:41, Philippians 2:5-8, Hebrews 12:1-4, 1 Peter 2:19-24).

LaBèlla said:

As a woman, I know the tendency I have deep in my heart to just “take control” of any and every situation. But part of learning to be a wife was learning to let my will align with the will of my husband’s, as the two of us became one. And in order for me to unite with him, whether it be in lifestyle choices, decision making, intimacy, or parenting-issues, I had to learn to trust him in a way that, up until marriage, I had only done with God.

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Bang on, sister! I had to learn the same in my marriage. It’s really sad to see how “submission” so perverted I to something that is spiritually unhealthy. Just like the world’s view of “love” is perverted.

This is why I advocate Christ so much because He must be #1 in all we do.
Awesome post!

LaBèlla said:

I think that gets swept under the rug far too often. I’m uncertain if knowledge is lacking or if they’ve thrown up their hands instead.

~Bella

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It is grotesque and shameful, and I would have death before having any part of it. I couldn't agree more with Ecclesiastes 7:26:

"And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her."

According to God's command, I will to rule my house and be exceedingly competent to do so in every manner, to love as Christ loved and to have my wife in surrender if she enjoys or until she learns to do so. I am thankful God put me through this when I was stubborn against Him and taught me much by experience how right He is.

LaBèlla said:

How does a man develop the competency you mentioned?

~Bella

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It's not complicated. Humans have the simple task. God manages all affairs, and all we have to do is receive His will and obey it.

Step 1: Read the Bible.
Step 2: Obey it (and so not deceive yourself, James 1:22)

So if a man is to be competent to lead as Christ leads and love as Christ loves, then he is to read Christ's way and make it His own, growing in Christ's grace as he learns to do so.

~Cassia~ said:

Since the 50’s was dragged into the conversation as being the idealized time for a return to reason, it should be obvious for a soldier that it was a time of return from war, given their own lawn to care for, and the women would greet every outside endevearor with a martini and perfection. Have you watched that series about a family from today transported to each decade? Probably not because it had a chic flair to it that men don’t find attractive to watch. But the 50’s was deemed the most difficult decade because the more they got the more they were expected to produce with it. And with a smile. That’s just all play acting. No that has nothing to do with submission to God.

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I don't know what your post has to do with mine. I didn't say anything about the 50s. I do remember them, though.

I don't know the series you're talking about...I'll check it out if you can remember the title.

Nor do I actually even get the point you're making.

41 When the ten heard this, they began to be angry with James and John. 42 So Jesus called them and said to them, “You know that among the Gentiles those whom they recognize as their rulers lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. 43 But it is not so among you; but whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all. 45 For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:41-45 emphasis mine)

Christ submitted. So must men if they are to walk in his footsteps.

RDKirk said:

I don't know what your post has to do with mine. I didn't say anything about the 50s. I do remember them, though.

I don't know the series you're talking about...I'll check it out if you can remember the title.

Nor do I actually even get the point you're making.

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Not relevant, I agree.

LaBèlla said:

I think that gets swept under the rug far too often. I’m uncertain if knowledge is lacking or if they’ve thrown up their hands instead.

~Bella

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I think it's more a sign of the times than anything we can put our finger on.

bekkilyn said:

41 When the ten heard this, they began to be angry with James and John. 42 So Jesus called them and said to them, “You know that among the Gentiles those whom they recognize as their rulers lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. 43 But it is not so among you; but whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all. 45 For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:41-45 emphasis mine)

Christ submitted. So must men if they are to walk in his footsteps.

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The slave who becomes a trusted servant will find himself in charge of the master's business.