- Jul 31, 2019
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He talks about needing to surrender yourself and let Christ do all the saving because it's him who does all the saving, not us. I get all those things.
He also talks about needing to accept the Christ that will change everything and free you from your sins and idols.
And he says that of you still have idols or sins that you dont want Christ to take away, that you can't be saved.
I still have idols that I would prefer to keep (I think they are idols), idols that would feel like cutting of my literal hand if Jesus would ask me to let go of them.
I pray to Jesus and I tell him he can take my life and that I surrender but does the fact that I in my heart don't want to lose everything mean that I am not sincere?
That's how I feel about it but does feeling that way mean I'm not surrendering to Christ? Then how can I surrender. I feel in my heart that I am fighting the idea of letting go and that I want Christ to let me keep living my life the way I was. I regonise that's not good and that I need to let go and be open for Jesus to change and take everything. But how do I get to that place that I will truly want to let everything go?
Is it only God who can get me to surrender/want to surrender? I pray for God to let me surrender but I don't feel change and I feel like my flesh I still refusing to let go.
The idea of letting everything go feels so depressing and hopeless even though I wish it would feel freeing. I so badly just want to feel happy again, I want to run back to my normal life and feel happy again but I regonize that that may just be false happiness.