I was praying yesterday and the spirit of the Lord filled me then thoughts such as "What if it's the kundalini spirit" but I fought the thoughts so hard that I was able to feel the joy after that and I can't stop smiling after receiving the spirit of God but then I felt dirty so I searched and found this on the web. I felt confusion as when I received the spirit of God I felt peace and I cried because of the joy that I felt but below said "False peace" so I'm quite confused.
Actually I also have moderate depression and anxiety. Overthinking kills me and I constantly want assurance from the Lord but whenever I seek Him there are voices of doubts and questions and it has been a battle for me for 2 months. I am currently on CBT for my depression but I still want to know if I received the spirit of God. It was a joyful feeling yesterday but sudden doubts attacked my heart and mind and now I'm stuck of the thoughts.
I related the symptoms of anxiety to this kundalini spirit.
I have electric shock feeling all over my body whenever I get anxious
I also have a lot of headache and I'm depressed like what was stated below.
There were also tingling effects in my legs
Why do I always get thoughts like this whenever I seek God? Am I doing it the wrong way?
I'm confused of what I felt yesterday. Ws that joy and peace from God.
The spirit of God convicts and I am convicted of doing something wrong. I can't even see myself going to the same old sinful lifestyle again.
The spirit of God gives peace but how come it stayed in me for a short period of time.
And is it blasphemy of the Holy Ghost thought of it as something bad when I received it? Tho it was all in my mind I'm scared of committing it.
Where are your attachments from? They talk about chakras by practitioners. Are you meditating according to the New Age, Hindu, or Buddhist way of clearing your mind of everything? If so, where did you learn this kind of meditation?
Some Christians have fallen into such teachings to supplement their Christian faith, without realizing that they come from other false systems of belief.
Also, when I was a Christian preacher, I experienced 7 years of major depression. I sought psychological help and discovered that anger and anxiety in my unconscious mind were causing my depression and two severe anxiety attacks. I sympathize with your situation.
You must be going to a mental health doctor if you're on meds for your depression. Has the doctor helped you get to the root cause of your depression? Some depression is chemical and needs to have medicine the rest of a person's life, but most depression is caused by trauma in childhood. Mine was caused by a dysfunctional family during my childhood, unloving things people had done to me, and the death of our second child.
Well, God used the professionals at a mental hospital to get me in touch with my anger and anxiety and their causes. Then, God taught me a biblical pattern that is not part of our western culture, lamenting. If you don't know that kind of prayer, read Job 3, 10, & 17; Psalm 6, 13, 22, 37, 88; and Lamentations 3 by Jeremiah. Also, read Luke 19:41-44 (Jesus' lament on Palm Sunday over Jerusalem).
I lamented in prayer 3 or 4 times a week expressing my anger and anxiety to God over the first 43 years of my life. After 7 1/2 months, my depression left me (33 years now). After another month, God gave me his peace that transcends understanding of Philippians 4:6, 7.
My advice is that you stop meditating, if that's what you're doing, and start pouring out your heart to God while praying to him for his peace. He'll give it to you and perhaps take away your depression and anxiety. You're on my prayer list.