Parishioners Eagerly Anticipate Return To Distant, Unwelcoming Community

Michie

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Thought some of you would get a kick out of the satire piece from Eye of the Tiber since we have discussed this topic so many times. ;)


With Masses resuming in the next couple of weeks, many Catholics are now eagerly anticipating their first non-virtual interaction with the distant, unwelcoming community that they haven’t seen in months.

As bishops and priests from across the country prepare for the monumental task of reopening churches with strict guidelines, many are looking forward to their first Mass with their cold and detached parishioners.

“It’s really been tough,” said Fr. Alvin McKinney, pastor of St. Agatha Catholic Church in Sacramento, California. “I’m so used to saying Mass and then going outside to say goodbye to everyone, before watching my unapproachable flock somewhat smile at one another, passively sending off signals not to come close or to speak to them, as if they’ll become protestants the moment they become friendly and emotionally accessible. Though it’s pretty much been the same these past few months in that everyone has still been watching the Mass and not having any sort of communication with each other before or afterward, it’s more natural, more Catholic to do so in person.”

Fr. McKinney also mentioned that for him personally, the strict guidelines recently placed on churches by Governor Gavin Newsom were not at all inconvenient.

“Having parishioners spaced six-feet apart inside the church will be a welcomed change for my parishioners. The majority of Catholics I know have been emotionally six-feet apart from one another for decades, so adding the physical element seems just right.”

Parishioners Eagerly Anticipate Return To Distant, Unwelcoming Community | EOTT LLC
 

Silmarien

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I’m so used to saying Mass and then going outside to say goodbye to everyone, before watching my unapproachable flock somewhat smile at one another, passively sending off signals not to come close or to speak to them, as if they’ll become protestants the moment they become friendly and emotionally accessible.

Wait, is this actually a thing? I was starting to visit Catholic Mass a little bit more right before the pandemic hit, and it did feel a little bit cold at the very end, but I always figured I was just insecure and projecting.
 
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dzheremi

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Wait, is this actually a thing? I was starting to visit Catholic Mass a little bit more right before the pandemic hit, and it did feel a little bit cold at the very end, but I always figured I was just insecure and projecting.

Eye of the Tiber is a satire website. Its tagline is "Breaking Catholic News So That You Don't Have To". Today's 'Profound Reflection' in the side area of the main page is "Spiritual life hack: to get more quiet time during the Sign of Peace, it's best to walk into a cry room full of screaming kids."

It's pretty silly stuff. :)
 
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Silmarien

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Eye of the Tiber is a satire website. Its tagline is "Breaking Catholic News So That You Don't Have To". Today's 'Profound Reflection' in the side area of the main page is "Spiritual life hack: to get more quiet time during the Sign of Peace, it's best to walk into a cry room full of screaming kids."

It's pretty silly stuff. :)

Yeah, but that's why I'm wondering: usually satire works because what's being poked fun at is a real problem. ^_^
 
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dzheremi

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Yeah, but that's why I'm wondering: usually satire works because what's being poked fun at is a real problem. ^_^

Well...uh...I know where I'm posting, so I'll just say that the people who wrote it and receive it can both see the humor in it and maybe reflect a little bit on how their own communities might be, and that's a good use of satire. I think we could all stand to be more welcoming sometimes.
 
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Michie

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We’ve discussed the topic here several times. It is a problem in a lot of parishes. There seems to be a punching the clock attitude on fulfilling your obligation and getting out. It bothers some people and does not seem to bother others. There is definitely a different type of culture in Catholicism that’s very noticeable to converts especially.
 
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Tigger45

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Some parishes are friendlier then others but that’s true with all denominations. What I have found particularly with the Catholic and Orthodox is once you break the ice with them, which is usually outside of service, they are as friendly as any other group of people.
 
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Bob Crowley

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Actually the old punch card workplace clock would be handy. The priest could then check the cards and see who has been to church and who hasn't, and how long they stayed. If somebody accused us of not being present, we could tell them to look at the cards, and we'd be covered.

Also automatic locks on the doors, which don't release until the priest has finished the mass and walked outside.

I can think of a whole bunch of parish ideas, all aimed at efficiency - lockable car park gate, seat belts in the pews, gags for crying kids, security wandering up and down the aisles, who give you a prod if you look like falling asleep, some big men at the door for a shakedown after mass if the giving is light, holes in the bottom of the baskets so coins fall through ... I'm sure there's lots of other ideas out there.

If a generation can bring itself to watch "Big Brother" on the television, imposing these things would be a cinch.
 
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It's actually a fairly accurate picture of most Catholic parishes I have been too. Most fellowship is in small "cliques", and new faces that may rarely pop up are not openly welcomed - I know personally.

I have done a little Church shopping in my life, and Catholic parishes rank pretty low on the welcome and fellowship generally. The nicest one I have been to was a Traditional Latin Mass parish - people were very welcoming there!
 
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chevyontheriver

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Wait, is this actually a thing? I was starting to visit Catholic Mass a little bit more right before the pandemic hit, and it did feel a little bit cold at the very end, but I always figured I was just insecure and projecting.
It's a satire from EOTT, a satire site. But satire only works if there is some bit of truth to work on. Catholic churches, on average, are a bit less gushy, and they can appear cold some times. But dig deeper and you will find community.
 
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chevyontheriver

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Actually the old punch card workplace clock would be handy. The priest could then check the cards and see who has been to church and who hasn't, and how long they stayed. If somebody accused us of not being present, we could tell them to look at the cards, and we'd be covered.

Also automatic locks on the doors, which don't release until the priest has finished the mass and walked outside.

I can think of a whole bunch of parish ideas, all aimed at efficiency - lockable car park gate, seat belts in the pews, gags for crying kids, security wandering up and down the aisles, who give you a prod if you look like falling asleep, some big men at the door for a shakedown after mass if the giving is light, holes in the bottom of the baskets so coins fall through ... I'm sure there's lots of other ideas out there.

If a generation can bring itself to watch "Big Brother" on the television, imposing these things would be a cinch.
The only place I ever visited that 'took attendance' was Methodist. I found it queer.
 
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chevyontheriver

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Wait, is this actually a thing? I was starting to visit Catholic Mass a little bit more right before the pandemic hit, and it did feel a little bit cold at the very end, but I always figured I was just insecure and projecting.
So I've moved. I went to the parish on a weekday and the doors were open but nobody was there. I spend some time in the adoration chapel praying. On Sunday I watched their on-line mass. Am I a member? I have never physically seen anyone there or talked with them. The Wuhan virus makes things strange.
 
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Gnarwhal

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Thought some of you would get a kick out of the satire piece from Eye of the Tiber since we have discussed this topic so many times. ;)


With Masses resuming in the next couple of weeks, many Catholics are now eagerly anticipating their first non-virtual interaction with the distant, unwelcoming community that they haven’t seen in months.

As bishops and priests from across the country prepare for the monumental task of reopening churches with strict guidelines, many are looking forward to their first Mass with their cold and detached parishioners.

“It’s really been tough,” said Fr. Alvin McKinney, pastor of St. Agatha Catholic Church in Sacramento, California. “I’m so used to saying Mass and then going outside to say goodbye to everyone, before watching my unapproachable flock somewhat smile at one another, passively sending off signals not to come close or to speak to them, as if they’ll become protestants the moment they become friendly and emotionally accessible. Though it’s pretty much been the same these past few months in that everyone has still been watching the Mass and not having any sort of communication with each other before or afterward, it’s more natural, more Catholic to do so in person.”

Fr. McKinney also mentioned that for him personally, the strict guidelines recently placed on churches by Governor Gavin Newsom were not at all inconvenient.

“Having parishioners spaced six-feet apart inside the church will be a welcomed change for my parishioners. The majority of Catholics I know have been emotionally six-feet apart from one another for decades, so adding the physical element seems just right.”

Parishioners Eagerly Anticipate Return To Distant, Unwelcoming Community | EOTT LLC

Ha! l I find myself feeling bad for priests after Mass sometimes either because they look like they want to socialize but nobody indulges them, or they dread socializing and everyone wants to chat them up.

Wait, is this actually a thing? I was starting to visit Catholic Mass a little bit more right before the pandemic hit, and it did feel a little bit cold at the very end, but I always figured I was just insecure and projecting.

Yeah, but that's why I'm wondering: usually satire works because what's being poked fun at is a real problem. ^_^

I mean, it's a bug, not a feature.

Some parishes might be cold and others might be too chatty. Some of the little old ladies at my parish seem to chat too much at inappropriate times at the Mass I go to. Sure, after Mass if people want to socialize by all means knock yourselves out (outside). A few of these folks disrupt people during prayers and whatnot before or after Mass, which is kind of irritating.

Personally I'm not a very social person, and I don't typically know anyone at the Mass I go to...and I more or less try to keep it that way. I'll smile, shake my priest or deacons hand and say thank you on my way out but otherwise I tend to make a bee line for my car. If I see someone I know maybe I'll stop and say hello but generally I'll try to catch up with them later. I've just never been one for idle chat with anybody. Especially in sacred spaces that aren't meant to be social clubs, that's always felt wrong to me.
 
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Mountainmike

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My view is based on experience of both inside and outside catholicism

I think there is less migrating between catholic parishes.
They tend to be established social groups and open up with time.

It is also true that much catholic worship is more silent and solitary. For some that is a turn off, for others it is a blessing.

Where it seemed to me protestants tend to float between congregations , not taking too much notice of doctrinal differences so there is always a flux of newcomers and leavers. They seem to go where they feel comfortable, and leave if they find someone or some argument on doctrine not to their liking.

I also found the vociferous welcoming in some evangelical and protestant parishes very synthetic, and short lived, much like the welcome from a typical salesman! Particularly enthusiastic in those that hoped you would contribute some income!

My conclusion is they are as varied as people! But probably in less of a flux in catholic parishes. Like everything else in catholicism, change comes but slowly!


It's actually a fairly accurate picture of most Catholic parishes I have been too. Most fellowship is in small "cliques", and new faces that may rarely pop up are not openly welcomed - I know personally.

I have done a little Church shopping in my life, and Catholic parishes rank pretty low on the welcome and fellowship generally. The nicest one I have been to was a Traditional Latin Mass parish - people were very welcoming there!
 
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Bob Crowley

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Ha! l I find myself feeling bad for priests after Mass sometimes either because they look like they want to socialize but nobody indulges them, or they dread socializing and everyone wants to chat them up.

Dragging up the old pastor again, but he said in one of his sermons that he tried to avoid accepting parishioner's invitations to Sunday lunch after the morning service.

He said he nearly always found the main course on the menu was "Roast Parson".
 
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chevyontheriver

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Personally I'm not a very social person, and I don't typically know anyone at the Mass I go to...and I more or less try to keep it that way. I'll smile, shake my priest or deacons hand and say thank you on my way out but otherwise I tend to make a bee line for my car. If I see someone I know maybe I'll stop and say hello but generally I'll try to catch up with them later. I've just never been one for idle chat with anybody. Especially in sacred spaces that aren't meant to be social clubs, that's always felt wrong to me.
Socializing isn't really proper in the church itself before, during, or after mass. It should be a place of quiet prayer before and after mass. Socializing should be encouraged, but out of earshot from the sanctuary. So we have competing interests if there is not a separate place for conversations. Either those who want a bit more time to pray are stepped on, or those who want a conversation have three seconds at the door. Solution is to have a separate space for better conversations. But not all parishes have that.
 
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Mountainmike

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Wait, is this actually a thing? I was starting to visit Catholic Mass a little bit more right before the pandemic hit, and it did feel a little bit cold at the very end, but I always figured I was just insecure and projecting.

Join the RCIA group. There is no obligation, but it is an "open sesame" to meeting people and discovering the truth behind a lot of misinformation.
 
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Gnarwhal

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Socializing isn't really proper in the church itself before, during, or after mass. It should be a place of quiet prayer before and after mass. Socializing should be encouraged, but out of earshot from the sanctuary. So we have competing interests if there is not a separate place for conversations. Either those who want a bit more time to pray are stepped on, or those who want a conversation have three seconds at the door. Solution is to have a separate space for better conversations. But not all parishes have that.

Agree 100%, it doesn't rain much where I live so parishioners could just congregate outside after Mass and those who want to pray can enjoy the silence inside. For places where weather is more prohibitive to that sort of thing, maybe there's some kind of parish library, gym, classroom, or other sort of multipurpose space where people could socialize...

I'll be curious to see the dynamics if/when we're finally allowed to return to my parish, they started our renovation project a couple weeks ago so the actual sanctuary is going to be closed for the foreseeable future and we'll be having Masses either in the school gym, the Newman Center down the street, or in our mission parish outside of town in this little farming community.
 
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Mountainmike

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In the UK , many parishes have attached catholic social clubs.
How they will be treated in the unlocking I have no idea.

But the UK is way behind, my parish saying even access to church building will be early july earliest. And mass considerably later than that.

In my other country portugal, i believe mass has restarted. When the "state of emergency" was reduced to "state of calamity", it transpires the government no long has the constitutional power to prevent free movement . Exactly what form that takes I will find out in mid june when I return there. Sadly the shrine at fatima was closed for the 13th May celebration for the first time. I intend to be there on Oct 13 this year!


Agree 100%, it doesn't rain much where I live so parishioners could just congregate outside after Mass and those who want to pray can enjoy the silence inside. For places where weather is more prohibitive to that sort of thing, maybe there's some kind of parish library, gym, classroom, or other sort of multipurpose space where people could socialize...

I'll be curious to see the dynamics if/when we're finally allowed to return to my parish, they started our renovation project a couple weeks ago so the actual sanctuary is going to be closed for the foreseeable future and we'll be having Masses either in the school gym, the Newman Center down the street, or in our mission parish outside of town in this little farming community.
 
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