Battling with Depression and I feel like giving up

Trust in the mercy of God and take life one day at a time.

Hello @faith campbell, I'm sorry to hear how much you are struggling with your thought-life right now. I know from personal experience how horrible, tiring and painful it often is, especially when it just won't stop

Like you, I was involved in all the right spiritual disciplines .. except one, and it was the one that I was missing/wasn't practicing that made all the difference in the end (along with, not apart from the others, of course).

A pastor named Chuck Swindoll told me that I needed to empty my mind of all of the garbage that was left up in there from my very sinful life as an unbeliever, and that I needed to fill it with something far better to get the garbage out, and to keep it from ever coming back.

The spiritual discipline that I'm talking about is treasuring God's word in your heart by memorizing it. As David said in the Psalms,

I'm not talking about memorizing the entire Bible BTW, just a number of verses and passages. In fact, you start out by memorizing one verse per week, and then two verses per week shortly there after, and from then on.

Pastor Swindoll told me that if I did this, if I filled my mind with God's word, that all of the stale/stinky mental garbage that was a big part of the source of my horrible thought-life would begin to be pushed to the back of my mind, and then eventually out of my mind altogether. And you know what, it worked, and far better than I had hoped or even imagined that it would or could Suddenly, it was God's word that was on the tip of my tongue and in the forefront of my mind, when I woke up in the morning, throughout the day, and when I went to bed at night (and after 30+ years, that horrible thought-life that I suffered through for my first few years as a Christian has never returned, PTL ).

I won't kid you, Scripture memory work is just that, work, especially at first, but no spiritual discipline that I know of will end up being a bigger blessing to you (and to others) and it does get easier to do as you work on it.

Pray about it, and if you believe that the Lord would like you to memorize some verses and passages, I recommend the Topical Memory System by the Navigators. They have been training their overseas missionaries with it for 90 years now, and the verses/passages they've chosen are vital for every Christian to know.

Also, if you'd like some help getting started, just PM me as I'd be happy to help you in any way that I can.

One thing that's hard to do in the midst of what you are going through right now is to find things to thank the Lord for (because I believe that thankfulness and gratitude to Him for EVERYTHING, even the tough stuff, is one of the keys to finding our center and our happiness in Him). Memorizing Scripture verses and passages will begin to make that easier and easier for you .. cf Philippians 4:6-8; 1 Thessalonians 5:16-19.

If you have the time, you may find these verses interesting to consider, and I believe that you'll find a theme emerging as you read them .. Joshua 1:8; Psalm 1:1-3, 119:105; John 17:17; Romans 12:2; 2 Timothy 2:15, 3:16-17 .. oh, and one of my very favorites, Deuteronomy 11:18-21.

Praying for you!

God bless you! (Numbers 6:24-26)

--David
p.s. - when I first memorized Scripture with the Navigators, we used flash cards. The Topical Memory System is now available as an Apple or an Android app, and I highly recommend it (even though my old, beat-up flash cards worked, and are still one of my most prized possessions, I use the app now because it makes memory work so much easier/more efficient ).

It is good that at least you are aware that there is a possibility of a Kundahlini spirit. I have been to a number of churches where things can get pretty strange. I do not knowingly try to engage in such things but I do not fear them either. I do try to discern and certainly judge teaching and other actions in the light of scripture, but sometimes I still am uncertain.The way I approach uncertainty is from the framework of Matthew 7.
Since you are unsure of many things in Christ, I would try and stick with the basics of Christianity. You need more confidence in God and his love. I would pray Paul's prayers on love and greatness as found in Ephesians Ch 1 and 3. Ephesians 1:17 (KJV)
17 That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him..
I would not rule out help in deliverance, healing or counseling but often it is the case that as we learn more about God, the anxiety will diminish. Whatever your situation is, you can have assurance that God is not going to let you go through this alone.
Psalm 46:1 (KJV)
1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Matthew 7:7-10 (KJV)
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. 9 Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? 10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

We ask Lord that you protect Faith from the attacks of the enemy. For physical healing and strength. Thank you that you are there for even when we doubt. That she would trust you through the process of building faith, even when she gets stuck along the way. In Jesus name, Amen.


Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Matthew 8:24 Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. 25 The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”

26 He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

27 The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”

hey campbell, I see you're doing well with regular, purposed quiet time. How is your church participation? Do you have a group of fellow Christians you can confide in? Better still, is there an elder/pastor you can trust. God can speak to us from so many different angles. I encourage you to keep to the studying and increase your serving and fellowship. I don't mean to imply that you're somehow deficient in those areas. I'm suggesting that if you can fill your life more in those areas there will be less room from these troublesome ruminations.
Prayers bro.