lovelife34
Active Member
- Jul 12, 2018
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Everything I said doesn't come down to pop psychology. LOL. If YOU want to emotionally withdraw from your marriage by interacting less with your wife, cancelling dates, and not doing nice things for her, you have God-given free will to do that. No one is stopping you. You have a God-given right to do that stuff. I don't operate in that manner. I communicate verbally, with my words.And
"And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever." (1 John 2:17)
Of course the Bible doesn't include the words 'narcissist' and 'controlling.' It doesn't mean they don't exist. There are controlling people in the world. There are narcissists in the world. Narcissists have very specific traits: delusions of grandeur, being faultless/blameless, a distorted view of self, and display narcissistic control.
"The narcissistic personality manifests itself in the narcissist's behavior. He (or she) will seek to dominate every individual and every group with which he interacts. The narcissistic personality and its obsessive desire for control is not about control just for control's sake, but an essential defense against the risk of receiving a narcissistic injury; a blow to the ego or self-esteem.
The narcissist lives in fear of losing control. He sees other people in his environment - at home, at work, friends, relatives and neighbors - as extensions to himself. He sees himself at the center of the world, the controller, an idol to be adored and admired; in his mind this makes it acceptable for him to abuse others - he continually trys to rearrange the 'significant others' in his life to look towards him, and admire him."
You can call them whatever you want, but these people exist, whether you want to acknowledge it or not. Psychology is not insignificant. For example, there are many Christian people who were physically or sexually abused as children/adults. These people suffer psychological damage...
It's not insignificant. Your premise is that secular things are insignificant. So why do you obey the law? Why do you obey traffic rules? These things are secular, yet very significant. You claim that secular things are insignificant and talk about pop psychology. So explain why there are murderers in the world, people who shoot down schools and public buildings? They are sociopaths/psychopaths. They have specific traits that have been studied for years.
Again, it's clear to me that you're being led by your flesh. You made this personal when it was never personal. You can quote Bible verses til Kingdom come, it doesn't change anything. I said I don't operate in the whole manipulation/coercion stratosphere. You have a GOD-GIVEN RIGHT to manipulate your wife as you see fit. If spending less time with your wife makes her do what you want to do, then do it. Did I once tell you to stop? Did I once tell you not to do that? I said I don't do that. If I want to talk to my future husband about issues, then I will. God gave me a mouth. I can communicate verbally with someone instead of playing these immature games with them. Marriage isn't about playing games to me. If you want to play games with your wife, then play!
Honestly, it's a waste of time to engage with someone like you. You just spew out Bible verses. You just created a bunch of strawmans. Nothing of what I said is relevant to those verses. Think logically for a second. Get out of your overemotionalism and hypersensitivity.
First I asked a very valid question, what is the point of a man to get married, if he still will ultimately make the final decisions? It's better for men to stay single and have complete autonomy, and not even waste time listening to opinions they don't care about. (You completely ignored this.)
Secondly, I asked why a husband wouldn't verbally communicate with his wife, instead of resorting to manipulative tactics. (You completely ignored this.)
Third, I talked about why it would make sense to give stewardship of finances to a man if he was financially impulsive. (You completely ignored this.) So basically, you would condone a financially impulsive man driving his family into bankruptcy and homelessness, because he's the 'head of the house." And somehow, God would provide, right?
I'm a very reasonable person, but it's impossible to reason with an irrational person. Spewing out random, irrelevant Bible verses doesn't do anything. The Bible talks about sacrificial love, so you're trying to assert that, even though you're supposed to sacrificially love your wife, that when she doesn't behave the way you want her to, you will emotionally withdraw and isolate her? That is self-serving love, not sacrificial love. It's very simple.
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