- Jan 31, 2006
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Do you think perhaps your sister should get up and give you a hand?Having said the above, I do believe that i do serve God in my own way- to me i seem to serve God in ways that are quite practical eg i see a need and God helps me meet it if i can. whereas my sister spends a lot of time at feet of Jesus. now i do believe, in my case, that i need to so more of that- i tend to be more a Martha than a Mary. maybe the key is that my sister spenda a LOT of time with Jesus.
also i sometimes struggle with intimacy with Jesus because i battle a lot of fear and shame yes, my sister and i both went through the same hellish childhood experiences, more or less, and yes, she has her issues too, but for me, trust has been particularly hard, as i tend to be more anxious. and as an adult i put myself ina lot of self destructive situations, so i have had more isn to deal with.
my sister gave her heart to Jesus as a small child. me, i was a small child sitting in sunday school feelijg confused and bitter and believing Jesus hated me because i knew deep down i had a lot of darkness in my soul, a lot f bitterness. my sister was no less wounded but she seemed a more innocent, sunny natured person than me. just a question of personality- i was a stormy intense child form the word go, my sister sensitive too but not as up anjd down as i was. later on as we became teenagers, my sister suffered depression and i believe some post trauma symptoms as well, whereas i ended up with borderline personality disorder, extreme trauma reactions, a lot of acting out behaviour (some of it rooted in sin but at same time more thna that, i feel). she was the good girl who was meek and knew how to toe the line, me i was often timid and fearful but also rigid, moody and restless and bored easily. so yeah, temperamnet may playa part. i do thnk that though we all sin, some of us are easily led more, and i woudl describe mysefl as the one who would easily fall into worng behaviour. i think y sister's faith had a lot to do with the fact that even as a child, she had the fruit of goodness and self control . me, i took longer to get that.
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