The Excuse Game

Quid est Veritas?

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I really can't anymore. Alas, my descent from several royal lineages and status precludes me from setting foot in such a place. I abhor those who would dare to sully themselves with such fictions.

Help me write up my family tree, so that I can show how I am both the true Hannoverian claimant via Hannah Lightfoot, as well as the Jacobyte one.
 
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Feb 2, 2016
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I would. But I don't know how to draw pictures of nuts and fruits that would inevitably need to be included to portray the most accurate history. Plus I don't want to offend you (unless I just did.)

Kick me where it hurts.
 
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Olmhinlu

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No can do - I was previously employed by a rich old lady to power walk around her neighbourhood wearing workout clothing, sweatbands etc. so as to highlight my fitness and discourage her tea-and-cake gal pals from beginning their own exercise regimens, obviating any need for her to do so herself (and preventing an arms race of keeping in shape amongst the rich old broads and allowing them to eat tea and cake to their hearts' content or collapse - whichever comes first). After 44 years of this I developed a strong conviction (about demoralising her neighbours with my unattainable fitness and inimitable power walking technique) and left, but my contract included a non-compete clause, so I cannot walk for any sponsored event.

Make me a happy camper
 
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Quid est Veritas?

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Would you rather go back to calling, breathing heavily into the phone, and hanging up; or tapping and staring through the windows?

Could you forward me your schedule? I need to scout out which dark alleys to lurk in.
 
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Chesterton

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Wow, that's nice. You're the first person to ask me to do it as an "act". Usually I'm just asked to disappear.

Give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar.
 
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Quid est Veritas?

In Memoriam to CS Lewis
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I can't just make you a patty cake man, it takes years of strenuous apprenticeship, studying the various forms of hand-clapping and hamboning. To truly master the art, you must dedicate yourself.

Go apply yourself.
 
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Sam91

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A life what? A life sentence? A lifetime membership? A life jacket? A life preserver? A social life? Was that a typo... did you mean wife? I can't get a wife... I'm female.

Please finish your sentences.
 
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