PLease pray for me.

The best test to run is if you still love Jesus for His sacrifice. Love for Jesus teaches us all things we need to know for salvation.

Do you still love Jesus? If you can answer yes to this than things will work themselves out.

Peace.


An invitation to The Chosen.

God's Love will not take or will
you to conform to rules or demand
which imprison, enslave, burn or kill you.

God's Love will not pervert what's Good
The Lord loves truthfully Wise and Good.
True Love was, is and always will be Good!

In God's Love you are free to be right!
In His love everything is good proper and kind.
He loves all who love good and true to rule!

His Love is caring, providing, and sharing.
His Love always enjoys and protects good life.
His love rules even when bad life has being in us!

Hear Jesus call - 'Come join up with us all!
Leave whatever ties you down and be free
loving good life with all God's own to be.'

To the rest in your heart God's asks
how long will you tarry in the darkness?
Please leave such bad existence within.

For life must not, no never should, or would, or could,
be forceful, rude, prideful, arrogant, selfish, lustful
or otherwise be untrue to God's loving truth.

Neither should life be hurting or ill,
hungry, oppressed, despised, hated
or otherwise have existence in wrong.

Please hand your Bad Life over to Jesus
Humbly ask for His Good Life back in return
and go love God, self and neighbour with Joy.

The Church knows that Jesus is coming soon
All bad life will be our shameful past then,
so please leave your bad life while you can!

Love

Lord may your love resonate with our brother and may that light be received into his heart

May the Lord see you through these difficult days of confusing thoughts, and bring you to clarity. In Chist's name, Amen.


Psalm 73
16 When I tried to understand all this,
it troubled me deeply
17 till I entered the sanctuary of God;

You know that it might help if you open up about your situation and talk to your brethren. Some of us have no judgment.

Heavenly Father, You know what this one is needing, may You grant them wisdom and discernment and clarity to know which way to go and what to do, In Jesus Name, Amen

Dissociation or sealing off inner turmoil - sounds like you may have suffered a trauma or severe dysfunction at some point in your life. If so, it can block you from having a full abundant relationship with the Lord. If that's the case, just ask Jesus into your heart and to heal you of whatever is blocking you. He will do it. I have read of many people who suffered like this and Jesus showed them the lies they were believing from the trauma/dysfunction they suffered. And, their faith and love of the Lord just skyrocketed after he healed them and showed them the truth of what was really blocking their mind and heart. Hope this helps.

I pray for you to experience the wonderful love and forgiveness of the Lord Jesus.
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son so that all who believe in him will not perish but have everlasting life.

Thanks for explaining a little more. I remember reading on another forum someone going through almost exactly what you are describing.

What happened was this person was searching and looked at different religions, philosophies, etc. One day, they read something, either in a book or on the internet. Shortly after, they began questioning everything they knew. They were tormented by the thought of their 'reality'. Was there a God? Or, maybe I am a God, etc..They questioned the very basics of Gods Word, reality, etc.. They clearly knew something was wrong. And, I think, they too, went for help by checking themselves into a psych ward because they were so tormented but doctors couldn't figure anything out. They finally came to the Christian forums looking for answers.

It could be as you say - that what you're going through could involve several factors (physical, emotional, mental). But, I would ask you if you were always this way? Or, did this happen suddenly?
Or, over time? Did it happen after you exposed yourself to something or someone? Did you read something that afterwards your thinking got skewed?

What you need to keep in mind is that demonic entities can be behind books, movements (ie; yoga, new age, etc.), people. A person may think it's harmless only to come to find out that it's taken a hold of them and changed their thinking, their perception. Now they're confused, questioning everything, tormented by their thoughts, feeling angry.

If this has happened to you, you definitely need Jesus to help deliver you from that. Remember, our battle is not in this physical world, but spiritual. Again, I would go to Jesus. PRAY about it to him. Ask him to show you what is happening to you. Did something happen when you were little, or did you get exposed to someone, or were taught a philosophy, or read a book somewhere, etc..

Jesus can deliver you from whatever is causing you confusion. Remember, God is not the author of confusion. Satan is the father of all lies. What was Satan's very first lie? In the Garden, with Eve.
Telling her that she will be like a GOD if she eats of the fruit that God forbad them to eat of...

Genesis; 3:1-5 (KJV):

1.Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:

3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

4. And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:

5. For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then our eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be
as gods, knowing good and evil.

This is an old ideology that Satan has been trying to trick people with since the beginning. It's just repackaged and called different things. It is rooted in almost every aspect in this world (living for yourself, creating your own reality, attaining your 'higher' self, etc.). It can be very subtle but it changes you and your thinking. On the surface it sounds good, but then it ensnares you. It distorts your thinking, pulls you away from God, causes confusion and torment. Changes the truth for a lie.

It sounds like you may have exposed yourself to reading something or engaging with someone where
a demonic aspect was involved - the idea that you can be like god - and it is causing you confusion and upset. It sounds like you could be experiencing something spiritual. You need to PRAY and take it to
Jesus. He can free you of this where you will think correctly - know the truth. Realty is truth. Truth is according to God's Word and not Satans lies.

God's Word also mentions...'guarding your heart'. So, you do not get deceived like Eve was in the garden. So, seek Jesus for deliverance. Then, keep it simple, guard your heart, pray, read the Bible (KJV),
stay close to Jesus, ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. He is the one that guides you to all truth - you don't need to look for it on your own as the devil waits like a roaring lion to trip you up in vain philosophies.
Don't go wandering around looking into different ideologies, etc.. That's what can get you into trouble.

God repeatedly warned the Israelites of this same problem. Warning them not to mingle with the other
nations because they served strange gods and they could be corrupted in their thinking. And, that is exactly what happened. They mingled, involved themselves in their traditions and what happened?...
they took on their thinking, they changed their traditions and it pulled them away from God.

Colossians 2:8 (KJV) - Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.

I'll give you an example. I know someone personally, who knew the truth years ago. They thought they could accompany a relative who was a member of the Jehovah's Witnesses to a meeting. They thought they could convince others of the truth. They thought they were strong and going to a meeting at one of their temples wouldn't affect them. WRONG. They got messed up! They attended a few meetings and now, they think Jesus was just a man. They think there is no hell. They think that the Bible was written by a bunch a men sitting around a campfire. Do you see? Do you see how exposing one's self to other teachings and the things of this world can change you? Can change your thinking? What you once were rock solid on and grounded on now all comes into question.

Just go to Jesus - PRAY - ask him to help you see the truth and to deliver you. He will if you ask him.
If you don't get an answer right away, that's ok. Be patient. Just keep asking him. Don't give up.

I hope this helps.

Thanks for replying and sharing a bit more.

Your situation is NOT hopeless! Thank you for explaining you tried T.M. - even if it was brief. That confirms what I thought. This is spiritual! Make no mistake about that. You stated that after trying it,
you felt different toward God and your connection to God. But, there is HOPE! You are going to have to want it very badly to persevere because whatever spirit you opened yourself up to is going to fight you. But, JESUS can deliver you! It's not something 'you' can do, only JESUS can deliver you. So, you are going to have to put all your faith and trust in HIM.

I attached a few YouTube videos below that you might want to watch. Hopefully, it will give you some
understanding of new age practices and how these people got delivered of it.

The videos help explain the dangers of new age meditations and new age in general (including yoga, reiki, meditation, etc.). It's all demonic. Anyone doing them opens themselves up to demonic influence. Sometimes people don't know what's happening to them, they just know they are feeling bad, having difficulty, can't think straight, have intrusive thoughts, think they are a god, want to commit suicide, etc.. Do your own research on the dangers of new age and you will see the truth of it.

There are some YouTube videos that you can watch and hear from others as to what they experienced and how they either found Jesus or returned to Jesus. Jesus is the ONLY way to be delivered of what you are struggling with because it is a spiritual battle you are in.

In short, you must REPENT to Jesus for your sins - especially any involvement you had in new age.
Ask Jesus to come into your heart and heal & deliver you. Mean it will all your heart. And, keep asking
and praying about it until he delivers you. And read the Bible (King James Version - KJV). Ask Jesus to help you understand his Word as you read it and to speak into your heart.

Pursue Jesus with all your heart and mind and have faith that he will deliver you! You CAN be set
FREE and restored to Jesus.

I linked some YouTube videos where testimonies are given about what happened to people
that tried various new age practices and how they got out and returned to Jesus. Their situations
may not be like yours but hopefully you can get something out of it.

Just double click on the 3 links below and it will take you right to YouTube.
These 3 videos are of a mental health counselor who 'briefly' did meditation, yoga, the issues she had, and how Jesus delivered her.

(long version)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g0du93IUXUw (short version)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qC06bE_pZ5g
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_zynLjretXo

For more, copy the titles below, go to YouTube and paste in search box...

"A Journey from New Age to God / BRENDA NASH"
"New Age Occult Meditation to Jesus Christ"
"Reiki is evil. Jesus delivered me from reiki, part 1"
"Reiki is evil. Jesus delivered me from reiki, part 2"

And, here's some comments from people on YouTube videos showing the dangers of new age and meditation, etc......

Rob - 2 weeks ago
"The new age religions are almost entirely rooted in the idea that you can ascend to a god like status. It's foundation is narcissism, which is the easiest thing in the world to sell."

hannah - 1 month ago
"i didn’t even know i needed to hear this. i feel like i’ve been innocently practicing spiritualism as a Christian. it’s come from judgements I’ve made about the church. I’ve made myself a god and this has revealed so much to me. thank you incredibly for sharing"

I hope this helps give you some encouragement and hope, and to seek Jesus out for your deliverance
and healing from this. He is the only one that can deliver you.

Regarding the testimony that I told you about, I will have to look for it. If I find it, I will copy it and reply back to you.

Hope this helps.

Thanks for your reply. I definitely understand your struggle and confusion.

I was writing this before I saw your last comment on the buddhist prayer. I will comment on
that when I finish this reply...again, thank you for replying and sharing. You are doing really good!
Hang in there!

First, I want to congratulate you on what you DID do - which was a prayer of repentance and asking Jesus into your heart. Even though it seems like a simple little thing to you, it was still a great first step! So, I want to encourage you for that! That's great! Really, really great!

And, telling your mother is fine! It's not required to be saved but it does give glory to Jesus whenever we give a testimony or share about our faith or some action we took to ask Jesus to be our savior.

So, it appears you are a baby Christian. Remember, you are not going to know how to do everything right away. That's ok. I am so excited for you that you took the first step! Even if it was a long time ago. As you move toward Jesus, he will move toward you!

Now, you mentioned about how you heard a voice saying you're saved and then it faded and now you are feeling unsure. Don't let that worry you. God reveals himself when he wants, how he wants, and in his time. After all, you ended up praying a prayer of repentance and asking Jesus into your heart afterwards. And, that's a good thing!

You also mentioned that years ago as a child, you were exposed to other theologies.
I want to talk a moment about other theologies and the impact that could have had on you.

Now, if I understand you correctly, it sounds like you may have been swayed, at one point in time,
in different theological directions: modernistic, ignostic, etc. and that may have impacted your Christian walk. When we open ourselves up to different theologies other than God's Word - his Holy Bible, we can expose ourselves to confusion and doubt. Which way do I go?

Ok. First, you need a starting point to determine what to believe. What would your starting point be? Truth. Without Truth as your reference point, you would be 'all over the map' so to speak. Which means you can end up going down the 'wrong' road and believing a LIE. And, we know that a lie is not the truth.

Truth is found in God's Holy Bible, his Word.

John 14:6 - Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

So, if we are to believe that God's Word is truth, then that should be the starting point. That is the standard by which everything else is compared to or judged by. Everything else in this world that does not line up with the 'truth' is a lie.

Next...does truth change?

Malachi 3:6
“For I am the LORD, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.”

1 Peter 1:25
“But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.”

Luke 21:33
“Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away.”

You said it may have started 25 yrs ago....you may have been influenced by a 'modernistic' theology. What is modernistic theology? Here is one definition...

"Modernism, in religion, a general movement in the late 19th and 20th cent. that tried to reconcile historical Christianity with the findings of modern science and philosophy."

The problem with Modernism is that it changes with the times. It adjusts. But, there is a problem.
God's Word doesn't change. How confusing would it be to learn a theology that gets updated and changed as our world and the times change. That's like building your faith on shifting sand and not
a solid rock.

So, If modernist theology doesn't line up with God's Word, then, it's changing the truth for lies.
Isn't that what Satan did in the garden with Eve?

Let's look at Ignostic...

Ignosticism is the idea that the question of the existence of God is meaningless because the term god has no coherent and unambiguous definition.

But, God's Word tells us who God is and his son Jesus - Jesus is God manifested in the flesh.
The Bible gives many examples of his character - he is a God of mercy, love, patience, kindness,
righteousness, and judgement.

1 Corinthians 14:33
“For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.”

So, I guess you will have to decide whether you want to be swayed to modernism (changing Truth)
or ignosticism (does not recognize truth) or pursue Christianity (the truth).

Keep in mind, that anything that goes against God's Word is a lie. Who is the father of all lies? Satan.
And, he is an enemy to God and any Christian believers.

So, when being swayed by other religions or accepting their belief systems, you need to think about their origins. Most are satanic. Just like the new age videos I referred you to. Those people who tried new age practices all thought it was good at first. But, then soon found they were entangled with demons and their life became a nightmare until Jesus delivered them.

Now, the buddhist meditation prayer you mentioned - it sounded good, right? It mentioned Jesus, right? It sounded Christian, right? It's a deception. First, it focuses on meditation. No good. Buddhism / meditation is all eastern mysticism and new age. Just like yoga, reiki, transcendental meditation, etc.. They will mix a little truth - (ie; mentioning Jesus - asking him into your heart - that you're a sinner) with lies. It's an eastern meditation that opens your mind up to devils.

Next, Look at what you said at the end of your statement..."The some stuff in it about us bearing the suffering of the world". That is a big LIE. We do not bear suffering for the world as if we were Christ!
See, that is what a lot of religions do - they make it about us having to 'do' and suffer to be little Christs and earn our own righteousness which was ONLY purchased by Jesus, not us. Satan uses these false religions to mock Jesus and his sacrifice. Most people have no idea.

That is where they get you into doing 'works' or 'suffering' to save themselves and/or others. That's enslavement and bondage. This comes directly from the enemy.

What does an enemy do? They lie, they trick you, they deceive you. So, what appears on the surface to be innocent, make sense or even seem right or feel good to you, if it is not of the truth of God's Word, it is a lie and will harm you. Maybe that is why you struggle with feeling unsure, empty, confused, and even at times a hard heart toward God.

Just like the video links I sent you of those persons who tried new age practices. They said it appeared all innocent, helpful, maybe a good thing. But, then they began suffering tremendously and found out it was a trick and demonic.

The reason I am explaining all this to you, is for you to keep in mind that it may not be YOU that is the problem! You may very well be under an 'influence' of these religious views or ideologies from any books that you read, or from any new age practices you did. And, this influence could be affecting your attitude or relationship with God. Spirits (not the good kind) can be attached or operating and influencing a person through things (books), institutions (churches), places and people.

You said you prayed a prayer of repentance and asked Jesus into your heart and wondered if you have to 'do' anything more. Well, I would suggest repenting specifically to Jesus for any involvement in new age meditation, any false religious beliefs, and anything that exalts itself above Jesus. And, of course, ask him to deliver you from any evil spirits and it's affects on you.

The only 'do' part you have to do is to 'abide' in Jesus - get to know him - spend some time with him - talk to him - ask him questions - pray to him each day. Read God's Word and think on what you've read.
Ask him to help you with any personal issues or concerns you may have. Ask him for the gift of the Holy Spirit - and to give you wisdom, understanding, and knowledge.

I want you to have HOPE. I do not want you to feel like it's a lost cause or there is something wrong with you! I want you to be informed of the spiritual influences that may be affecting you and it's not all you!
Also, any spirits that might be oppressing you will try to keep you from the truth and your walk with God.
Don't let them. Just keep trying to talk to Jesus and ask him to help you - even if you do not feel like it!

I hope you will continue in your Christian faith and pursue Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

Please feel free to post any time with anything you might have a question on or if you just need some emotional support. I am here to help in any way I can.

Hope this helps.

Also, do you have a Bible? If not, get an authorized King James Bible (KJV) asap.

All other bibles - including the New King James Bible (NKJV) are counterfeits as they changed
God's Word from original King James version.

I forgot to answer your question about this...

am not even sure how to have faith anymore. I tend to work from an understanding that I try to acquire from Theology books, but doesn't Prvbs 3:5 say "lean not on thine own understanding", so I wondering if that is the right approach?

YES, definitely agree that is a good approach to take to not lean on your own understanding....but to read/hear God's Word and obey it. Reason? Because of all the false religions, false buddhist prayers, meditation, etc. that seem all nice and good but are demonic - like new age.

Again, ask Jesus for the Holy Spirit because the Holy Spirit will lead and guide you into all truth. Do not follow men and false religions as they can lead you astray.

You also keep talking about having faith....THIS IS HOW YOU HAVE FAITH:

Romans 10:17
So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Here is 2 links for you....

1) AUDIO bible on YouTube - this way you can HEAR the WORD OF GOD.

King James Bible on audio - YouTube

2) King James Bible online. - you can READ the WORD OF GOD

OFFICIAL KING JAMES BIBLE ONLINE

Hope this helps.