Leave behind non-believing friends?

Why getting rid of your old friends? Just keep doing what you do, and if they don't like it then they will just go away in their own.

We are called to witness but it is the Lord who takes the journey. I believe it should be the Lord's leading. I would put my trust in the Lord and freely, boldly proclaim and testify to them, and submit it to God. He takes it forward from there on.

JayRoly said:

I'm looking for some direction. I was born in the church, ran from God for 20 years, and during that time developed a whole lot of secular, non-believing friends. Some are even anti-God. I've returned to God and have actually moved cities since then, but I still have old friends that want into my life. I now attend a great church and have new church friends. But with the old friends, I'd frankly like to just drop them all together and really feel like I'm starting over, but I'm not even sure how to go about this. I haven't directly told them "I'm saved again" but I've let them know in somewhat indirect ways that I'm not going down their path anymore. How do I handle these people? I'm not sure if it's rude to just cut them off and move forward in my life or to try and witness to them or to just not go out of my way to contact them, and if they want to contact me, I can answer as to why I haven't responded. Any suggestions?

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well ... if they are inviting you to participate in something or doing something that is offensive to your belief ... that is not the Lords way ... then you need to bow out and let them know ... I have recommitted my life to the Lord and have decided to walk a better path. Invite them to church ... invite them to study the word with you.

They may or may not understand ... but they need to know ... yes ... I have chosen a different path ... a narrow path.

If they are open to change ... they will continue friendship with you .... if not .... they themselves will likely not want to hang around with you or perhaps very little ... so in that sense ... they are making the decision.

JayRoly said:

I'm looking for some direction. I was born in the church, ran from God for 20 years, and during that time developed a whole lot of secular, non-believing friends. Some are even anti-God. I've returned to God and have actually moved cities since then, but I still have old friends that want into my life. I now attend a great church and have new church friends. But with the old friends, I'd frankly like to just drop them all together and really feel like I'm starting over, but I'm not even sure how to go about this. I haven't directly told them "I'm saved again" but I've let them know in somewhat indirect ways that I'm not going down their path anymore. How do I handle these people? I'm not sure if it's rude to just cut them off and move forward in my life or to try and witness to them or to just not go out of my way to contact them, and if they want to contact me, I can answer as to why I haven't responded. Any suggestions?

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Pray for them and tell them that your life has taken a new direction and if they ask you, tell them why.
I wouldn't cut them off totally unless they are harmful regarding your walk with the Lord.
Ask the Lord, He'll direct your steps.
Best Wishes
Ronit

gospels said:

We are called to witness but it is the Lord who takes the journey. I believe it should be the Lord's leading. I would put my trust in the Lord and freely, boldly proclaim and testify to them, and submit it to God. He takes it forward from there on.

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Amen Sister!
Best Wishes
Ronit

Ronit said:

Amen Sister!
Best Wishes
Ronit

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Thank you. Praise the Lord.

Some of those friendships might be redeemable. But you will never know if you write them all off carte-blanch. You don't have to preach to them, but when there is a spiritual conflict you shouldn't back down, and in that way the witness will be made. Probably some will fall away, the ones that would hinder you.

JayRoly said:

I'm looking for some direction. I was born in the church, ran from God for 20 years, and during that time developed a whole lot of secular, non-believing friends. Some are even anti-God. I've returned to God and have actually moved cities since then, but I still have old friends that want into my life. I now attend a great church and have new church friends. But with the old friends, I'd frankly like to just drop them all together and really feel like I'm starting over, but I'm not even sure how to go about this. I haven't directly told them "I'm saved again" but I've let them know in somewhat indirect ways that I'm not going down their path anymore. How do I handle these people? I'm not sure if it's rude to just cut them off and move forward in my life or to try and witness to them or to just not go out of my way to contact them, and if they want to contact me, I can answer as to why I haven't responded. Any suggestions?

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Our close freinds at one point become like family. However, we do change and grow and sometimes even drift apart as life pulls us in different directions, but I do think that it's important as a Christian to be a positive influence in the lives of others, especially those others who are lost.

My son isn't saved, but that doesn't mean I love him less, it means I want to be able to share the gospel with him anytime the opportunity arises. Often conversations drift into the religious, and it's good to bring up Christ and what salvation really means when it's appropriate to the conversation. (I'm not a pushy type, although I do regularly pray for him privately).

So while some of your freinds may take offense to your newfound faith (PS, you can't be saved twice.. you can become like the prodigal son and later find your way home, however) and if they do, then so be it so long as your not trying to cause offense and sharing the gospel in appropriate manner.

But those who are happy staying in contact, however distant, keep that contact so you can be the right influence they need.

Angels are messengers of God, and when we share the gospel of Christ with the lost, calling them to salvation, then we are acting agents, messengers of God. It is as if we are one of the angels in the Book of Revelation calling people out of Babylon before her destruction, and this is our one job, our sole purpose if you will, to give our account and the word of our testimony in sharing the gospel of salvation in Christ.

This defeats death itself, this defeats Satan, against this Satan has no power. Our Lord Reigns.

So if you find it in your heart, then keep contact with those few in some small way, and thereby keep the door open to sharing this message of hope with them. But don't let it affect you also moving forward in your own life, and your own calling. But it's better to keep doors and avenues of communication open, than to shut them altogether.

I think this is a matter of spiritual conviction and the Lord’s leading. I placed my connections in His hands and let them go. I asked Him to redeem the friendships according to His will or provide godly companions in their place.

He redeemed one and others arrived over time. We are more aligned than the one He returned. That’s increasingly obvious as the years past. I’m on a different path and have no interest in returning to yesterday.

I prayed for their salvation and welfare for a long time. But I have no regrets. I value God-ordained alliances most. I want iron in my connections. Not nostalgia. That perspective has served me well.

~Bella

Jesus came to set us free, not put us in a religious cage.

Say I'm not into that.. or better yet ask do you like it when they do that to you ot say that about you. Excellent segue into loving neighbour as self which is what Christianity is all about without getting into all the theological nonsense.

JayRoly said:

I'm looking for some direction. I was born in the church, ran from God for 20 years, and during that time developed a whole lot of secular, non-believing friends. Some are even anti-God. I've returned to God and have actually moved cities since then, but I still have old friends that want into my life. I now attend a great church and have new church friends. But with the old friends, I'd frankly like to just drop them all together and really feel like I'm starting over, but I'm not even sure how to go about this. I haven't directly told them "I'm saved again" but I've let them know in somewhat indirect ways that I'm not going down their path anymore. How do I handle these people? I'm not sure if it's rude to just cut them off and move forward in my life or to try and witness to them or to just not go out of my way to contact them, and if they want to contact me, I can answer as to why I haven't responded. Any suggestions?

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Unless they're enemies of the faith or something then I see no reason to abandon them. After all, we are not Scientologists. We don't have a Disconnection policy.

Besides, I read somewhere that something like 25% of conversions occur through social connections. Your example could be the only Christian influence they have in their lives.

JayRoly said:

Some are very critical of people of faith, actually many.

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If they are not bullying you, then the problem is theirs.

JayRoly said:

Some are very critical of people of faith, actually many.

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Then I guess you need to decide for yourself what you're willing to put up with. I don't mind having non-Christian friends for reasons I have already outlined. But that's just me. Other people should make their own decisions.

I only want to emphasize that there's a difference between "non-Christian" and "anti-Christian". If your friends fall into that second category and won't let you be who you are then maybe it is time to call it a day.

JayRoly said:

Thanks everyone, great advice. I don't necessarily feel like I need to preach to them, but if they are wanting me to partake in dirty talk or gossip, I do need to take a stand. Now how to do that is also a question. Do I not respond (let's say it's a group text) or just tell the initiator "I'd appreciate it if you don't send that to me anymore."?

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I honestly find more occasions to have to take a stand against gossip from some Christians around here, so what I do is to simply say you know, this is gossip and I feel it's very inappropriate and I'd appreciate it if we could not do that behind someone's back, it's against my convictions.

I never mind standing up for my own convictions in my relations with others, and stuff I wouldn't appreciate being done to me I absolutely refuse to do to others.

So if the conversation is offensive to you, just say hey I dont like this direction and take your leave of it. Sometimes it makes people think twice, sometimes they think your weird, in the end, who cares. If you take offense then just say you don't appreciate it and won't take any part in such things.

For real it's not that big of a deal. People learn reasonably quickly what you will or will not tolerate around you and will change their own behavior in your presence reasonably quickly.

I don't see this as a hard decision at all. Not only did Jesus dedicate his entire life to evangelizing to those around him, but he left the apostles to dedicate their lives into the preaching of salvation. After Peter in Acts 2 had been touched by the Holy spirit, Peter realized that the defining factor of a true Christian is their willingness to share that which saved them (we can see this in his immediately following conversations and sermon). Christians who have come to understand their own sin and Christ's sacrifice feel an internal (welcomed) obligation to share this news with others. Do you ever hear of the apostles complaining about their known obligation to share the knowledge of Christ's sacrifice? If you no longer feel joy in professing your faith to the world around you, I would wonder if you have fallen into that which the Church in Ephesus also fell in. "But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lamp-stand from its place, unless you repent." (ESV) Revelation 2:4-5

So we are all sinners apart from God right? And won't God justly condemn this sinful world with its sinful inhabitants with the punishment that it deserves? This world is like a house that is on fire but is soon to be burned down. Shouldn't you call out, "Fire! Fire!" in hope that the other inhabitants of the house might notice this as well and escape with their lives? While we shouldn't be held accountable to who we do or don't save from the fire (as the person in the house chooses to either stay or leave), we are held as responsible to cry out. If you were on a jury judging someone who lived in that house and said nothing, would that man be held responsible? The Christian is God's tool in which the word is spread to people of every tribe, tongue, and nation. We shouldn't think of evangelizing as an annoying side affect of going to heaven. We should remember Christ, striving to be imitators of God.

As for how to evangelize, if you aren't confident there are many books on the subject worth reading. I am sure there are many suggestions out there if you are looking. Please don't forget that the house is on fire, no matter your approach to verbalizing it. But be truthful in all your endeavors and may you impart to others the peace which God himself has gifted you.

No, I won't leave and cut ties with them merely due to having a different worldview. In fact, I'm kind of sick of reading people urging others burning all bridges or even cutting from non Christian family members (the latter is quite rare and too extreme). Most secular people aren't necessary anti-God or Christian except a very vocal minority, they're just... meh about religion in general. Being a Christian is NEVER a license of being a jerk like abandoning friends suddenly because of their religious views, or in worse cases disregarding every bit of them and talking bad behind.

Instead of getting panic over about this matter, why not live out with Christian virtues and be a good witness to others? This is a far more constructive and effective, also convincing about how good Christianity is.