Would you recommend using a dating site?

  • Yes

    Votes: 5 20.8%
  • No

    Votes: 7 29.2%
  • Depends

    Votes: 12 50.0%

  • Total voters
    24

Willing-heart

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Well, we have more in Christ that unites us rather than what divides. That's why I asked about your view on 'charismatic' gifts from the start. A lot of people think prophecy is just correction from what you get from a Pastor or any preacher but I believe its more than that. I literally think it also has to do with seeing or hearing what's in the future (by the Holy Spirit) and bringing those things in the present for the edification of the believer. We can disagree on that and still be brothers in the Lord. Cause what it ultimately comes down to is our mutual faith in the gospel.

True, we can be. However I know people who have turned away from the faith completely because someone in a charismatic church said God said this about so and so. I even know people who call themselves little Gods and Apostles in the order of the Apostle Paul.... So things like this are worrying for me. I was very open to dating charismatic before, but I've had a bad experience and once beating, twice shy they say. Thanks anyway, perhaps I might change my mind. All in God's hand
 
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bèlla

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You're welcome... I am quite active in my community and church in general, but since moving to a new city for work 6 months ago, I'm trying to start all over again...

Congratulations on the job! Are the people friendly where you moved?

Haha! I'm told the Americans especially love the British accent.

I was raised in an environment where etiquette and elocution were prevalent. If I misspoke they corrected me. I wore hats and gloves on Sunday. I loved being a little lady. It was inevitable I’d feel an affinity with British culture because it mirrored my own.

Cool, I can recommend a few places to visit to really experience the British culture. Scotland is right up there, Yorkshire, Snowdonia, Wales, Yorkshire, Cornwall etc...

Thank you for offering. I’ll be staying for a year and popping over while I’m in France. I love the country! The pace and timelessness. I’ll definitely spend time on the coast.

I'm not British by birth but I've spent more than half of my life here.... I can recommend some of my favourite British sitcom too like "keeping up appearances," "The IT crowd," "Not going Out"

Hyacinth is a hoot! I’ve watched a lot of British comedy and documentaries. I’m going through Agatha’s collection. There’s a few gems I’ve enjoyed a lot. Poirot and Miss Marple are delightful.

~Bella
 
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Olmhinlu

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lol Maybe so but I'm not putting my phone number on a website :p

If I were a robot (pretending to be a marriageable woman) I would say something EXACTLY like that.
 
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Willing-heart

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Congratulations on the job! Are the people friendly where you moved?

Thanks, I thank God. I was out for 6 months prior to securing the job. My colleagues are friendly and we get on well. Church folks are friendly and loving too, but it seems I'm all alone in my age group as the church is quite small in number and older in age. I'm considering going to another church but not sure yet.

I was raised in an environment where etiquette and elocution were prevalent. If I misspoke they corrected me. I wore hats and gloves on Sunday. I loved being a little lady. It was inevitable I’d feel an affinity with British culture because it mirrored my own.

Oh wow! I've observed time that your written English was ever so eloquent. Haha! That explains it. I think the British culture today is more and more relaxed but there are still some really posh elegant people out there. Haha!

Thank you for offering. I’ll be staying for a year and popping over while I’m in France. I love the country! The pace and timelessness. I’ll definitely spend time on the coast.

Cool, don't be a stranger. I'm happy to meet with you and maybe show you around a few places. I'm sure you'd enjoy the time here. I'm guessing you speak French. I quite like France too but they've had alot of trouble in recent years.


Hyacinth is a hoot! I’ve watched a lot of British comedy and documentaries. I’m going through Agatha’s collection. There’s a few gems I’ve enjoyed a lot. Poirot and Miss Marple are delightful.

I must confess I haven't seen alot of the classic sitcom. They don't really make them like they used too anymore today. Times are changing
 
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bèlla

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Thanks, I thank God. I was out for 6 months prior to securing the job. My colleagues are friendly and we get on well. Church folks are friendly and loving too, but it seems I'm all alone in my age group as the church is quite small in number and older in age. I'm considering going to another church but not sure yet.

You were blessed to secure employment before this happened. I’m glad your co-workers are pleasant. That makes a difference in the atmosphere.

Maybe you should visit a few first. They may have similar issues. Older people usually know their share of singles. It doesn’t hurt to make your desires known. Ask them to pray for you.

Oh wow! I've observed time that your written English was ever so eloquent. Haha! That explains it. I think the British culture today is more and more relaxed but there are still some really posh elegant people out there. Haha!

I write the way I speak. But I don’t have a discernible accent. Nothing regional at all. Many try to place where I was born but they can’t.

Our culture has changed. Its too familiar and brash. Some tucking in and polish are needed.

Cool, don't be a stranger. I'm happy to meet with you and maybe show you around a few places. I'm sure you'd enjoy the time here. I'm guessing you speak French. I quite like France too but they've had alot of trouble in recent years.

I have periods of inactivity. I’ll be less active in the warmer months due to work. Between product development, ad campaigns, and developing an idea for a winter launch; my time is scarce.

I don’t speak French fluently yet. I’ll start language classes before I go. But the best way to learn is through practice. My time in school will reinforce the language. I’ll be fluent when I’m done.

I must confess I haven't seen alot of the classic sitcom. They don't really make them like they used too anymore today. Times are changing

I don’t watch telly. I subscribe to services with wholesome content I can stream through Roku. I’m really focusing on the arts to deepen my knowledge of costume design. The UK has an active community of costume balls I’m looking forward to.

As society progresses, I’m reaching back to early practices and entertainment that’s more uplifting.

~Bella
 
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Willing-heart

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You were blessed to secure employment before this happened. I’m glad your co-workers are pleasant. That makes a difference in the atmosphere.
True. I thank God for the job provision. It was a real answer to prayer, and I am ever grateful to those who supported and persevered in praying for me until I got the job...

Maybe you should visit a few first. They may have similar issues. Older people usually know their share of singles. It doesn’t hurt to make your desires known. Ask them to pray for you.
Haha! Some of the folks in the church already inquired about me being single and added that they will be praying for me about it. As I live far away from the church at the moment, a really nice elderly lady who plays the piano actually recommended a church closeby to me in the city and told me that there is a young lady there. But I don't feel comfortable going to the recommended church especially with that motive in mind. My understanding is that the church is a brethren church, and although most are usually very sound and loving, I've heard so many people talk about their bad experiences in brethren churches which generally tend to be somewhat legalistic... I did recently visit another church recommended by my church pastor, but since the coronavirus lockdown, I haven't been able to really continue there. I tried one of their online home group meeting for a couple of times but gave it up as I wasn't really comfortable video chatting with people I don't really know. Anyway, I'll keep praying about all these things. God knows :)

I write the way I speak. But I don’t have a discernible accent. Nothing regional at all. Many try to place where I was born but they can’t.

Our culture has changed. Its too familiar and brash. Some tucking in and polish are needed.
Cool, it would be interesting to hear your accent. I like it when people make up their own accent. I'm guessing yours is a mixture of everything that has influenced you over the years. We have so many different accents here in the UK. I quite like the scouse accent. I think mine is a mixture of Nigerian, Irish, French, English and Welsh.

I have periods of inactivity. I’ll be less active in the warmer months due to work. Between product development, ad campaigns, and developing an idea for a winter launch; my time is scarce.

I don’t speak French fluently yet. I’ll start language classes before I go. But the best way to learn is through practice. My time in school will reinforce the language. I’ll be fluent when I’m done.

I don’t watch telly. I subscribe to services with wholesome content I can stream through Roku. I’m really focusing on the arts to deepen my knowledge of costume design. The UK has an active community of costume balls I’m looking forward to.

As society progresses, I’m reaching back to early practices and entertainment that’s more uplifting.
~Bella
I've always wanted to be fluent in French but never really dedicated the time to it. If you have a smartphone, Duolingo app can be quite handy. Are you a custom designer? Sounds like you have quite an interesting career.
 
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LadyOfMystery

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Well it's official, every dating site I've tried in the last couple of days has some weird catch so I'm thinking it's my answer from God to stop it, lol.

I would definitely try online/long distance dating again but it won't be from a dating site.
 
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shineyourlight

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Has anyone ever used a dating site? If so, do you have any tips?

It seems like the big ones are Match.com, Plenty of Fish, and eHarmony.
As a Christian, maybe ChristianMingle and eHarmony are the best options.
Do you have any recommendations? I'd like to avoid options like Tinder if possible.

I'm thinking about trying it out next month, just to see how it goes. Maybe I'll give updates haha.
Unfortunately.
 
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bèlla

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Haha! Some of the folks in the church already inquired about me being single and added that they will be praying for me about it.

It was kind of them to inquire and lift you in prayer. :)

As I live far away from the church at the moment, a really nice elderly lady who plays the piano actually recommended a church closeby to me in the city and told me that there is a young lady there. But I don't feel comfortable going to the recommended church especially with that motive in mind.

You could pay a visit to check it out and see how you feel about the community and how it compares with the one you’re in.

I did recently visit another church recommended by my church pastor, but since the coronavirus lockdown, I haven't been able to really continue there.

When things settle you’ll have two viable places to explore and may meet others like yourself while doing so.

Cool, it would be interesting to hear your accent. I like it when people make up their own accent. I'm guessing yours is a mixture of everything that has influenced you over the years.

I participated in theatrical and musical performances growing up and had many opportunities for public speaking. That had a definite impact on the way I sound.

I've always wanted to be fluent in French but never really dedicated the time to it. If you have a smartphone, Duolingo app can be quite handy. Are you a custom designer? Sounds like you have quite an interesting career.

I’m familiar with it. I’ll probably start with Rosetta Stone and work with an instructor if classes aren’t an option.

My training will allow me to spend extended time in Europe and the Middle East. I considered a stint in Asia and nixed it for obvious reasons. The opportunity to expand my language proficiency is a plus.

~Bella
 
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ThisIsMe123

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As I live far away from the church at the moment, a really nice elderly lady who plays the piano actually recommended a church closeby to me in the city and told me that there is a young lady there. But I don't feel comfortable going to the recommended church especially with that motive in mind.

Just curious...I was wondering is it really a bad thing to go there with that motive in mind? Esp. when so many people (said person you spoke of) enables this? Usually I find it to be the married ones that recommend you to a church with a populace of singles or they "know someone" that's single there that's decent or whatever.
 
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Willing-heart

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Just curious...I was wondering is it really a bad thing to go there with that motive in mind? Esp. when so many people (said person you spoke of) enables this? Usually I find it to be the married ones that recommend you to a church with a populace of singles or they "know someone" that's single there that's decent or whatever.

To think about it, there is absolutely nothing wrong in going to a church with a motive of hoping to find a spouse there. In fact, I think a church is the best place to do so. Admitting that one is looking for a spouse shouldn't be embarrassing, but I sometimes think that way at times. God forgive me. Not sure why I think that way... I remember I used to go to a big charismatic church and a guy I got to know there told me he was there to try and find a spouse, and he eventually did and got married to her.

In Proverbs 31:10 Solomon says that a virtuous wife is the most precious treasure a man can find. Also, Solomon tells us (Proverb 2:4) that when one is seeking a hidden treasure, when you’re looking for a treasure especially one you will treasure for the rest of your life, what do you do? You don’t give up after the first five minutes, or after an hour or two, right? You keep on digging, searching and looking. You are persistent, dedicated, committed and disciplined in your search of that treasure. I believe this principle is especially very true with seeking a godly spouse. When I was younger I used to say to myself that the girl of my dreams is in the moon and that I'm halfway there. I guess I may still have a long way to go to as I make my way to her lol... A.B Simpsons said, “God has hidden every precious thing in such a way that it is a reward for the diligent, a price for the earnest, but a disappointment to the slothful soul. The nut is hidden in its thorny case, the pearl is buried beneath the ocean waves, the gold is imprisoned in the rocky bosom of the mountains, the gem is found only after you crush the rock which encloses it; the very soil gives its harvest as a reward to the labouring farmer.” Having said all that, I don't want my desire for a spouse to be all-consuming especially as it is written, "SEEK YE FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD AND ITS RIGHETOUNESS AND EVERYTHING ELSE SHALL BE ADDED..."
 
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Willing-heart

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It was kind of them to inquire and lift you in prayer. :)

You could pay a visit to check it out and see how you feel about the community and how it compares with the one you’re in.

When things settle you’ll have two viable places to explore and may meet others like yourself while doing so.

Yeah, I've been blessed by so many church family over my lifetime. I thank God for them all... I do intend to visit the church hopefully after the lockdown. Interestingly the church is literally next door to me. I could walk there in a minute. This makes me think that sometimes, we may be blind to see what's right in front of us... True, I'd keep my options open and trust God to lead the way.

I participated in theatrical and musical performances growing up and had many opportunities for public speaking. That had a definite impact on the way I sound.

Good on you. One of my weaknesses to this day is public speaking.... I think you'd love it in London as there is a lot of musical and theatrical event always ongoing there.

I’m familiar with it. I’ll probably start with Rosetta Stone and work with an instructor if classes aren’t an option.

My training will allow me to spend extended time in Europe and the Middle East. I considered a stint in Asia and nixed it for obvious reasons. The opportunity to expand my language proficiency is a plus.
~Bella

Nice! It's good to travel and experience different culture and see the beauty of the earth. I always love being able to connect with other Christians when I'm on the road in a foreign country.
 
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bèlla

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This makes me think that sometimes, we may be blind to see what's right in front of us... True, I'd keep my options open and trust God to lead the way.

Maybe you needed a nudge in the right direction. Sometimes the obvious choice is the answer. On other occasions it isn’t. Your spirit knows. Trust it.

Funny you mentioned that. I was mulling over a similar sentiment yesterday. I finally said it aloud. God’s done an amazing work in my connections. The last two years included a lot of pruning. He prepared me for the relationships I’m developing today. In familiar places I was already aware of. But it wasn’t time to move.

Yeah, I've been blessed by so many church family over my lifetime. I thank God for them all...

He’s provided wonderful Christian men and women whose hearts and generosity are second to none. My Christian business network is amazingly supportive. We share our wins and challenges along with strategies to improve our businesses with one another. No one hordes information and we’ve grown a lot because of it.

He knew I craved the company of Christian women who valued their companions, home, and personal development. I wanted the transparency and support I had in a different guise before I returned to Him. It took some time but I got it twice over and then some.

Now I’m surrounded by like-minded people who cheer me on. It isn’t one-sided. We hold each other accountable and celebrate our improvements every week. The atmosphere is positive and we’re prospering a great deal. That’s what I needed.

Good on you. One of my weaknesses to this day is public speaking.... I think you'd love it in London as there is a lot of musical and theatrical event always ongoing there.

Have you considered Toastmasters? The groups are really fun. There’s a lot to do in London and I’m a huge culture buff. I’ll join a ladies group I was involved with in the past. They have lots of events which will be great for networking and meeting people.

Nice! It's good to travel and experience different culture and see the beauty of the earth. I always love being able to connect with other Christians when I'm on the road in a foreign country.

I don’t look for Christians. I enjoying planting seeds of joy and hope in those who don't know the Lord. Or helping them recognize His presence through every day encounters. That fulfills me most. :)

~Bella
 
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com7fy8

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Maybe I'll give updates haha.
well ? ?

I think a church is the best place to do so.
Of course, I would say . . . we mean a church with people who live God's way.

And if I am not God's way, a real lady of Jesus can see this and not be fooled into marrying me. And my ways can get me connected with someone who is not right for marriage.

Yes, my own character with its ways can be the dictator of who I am capable of connecting with.

A dysfunctional woman can make a project of finding a guy . . . then get married and wonder how he could have such issues. The gentle and humble ones could see through her. Softening your voice and talking Jesus is not the same as becoming gentle and humble and doing what Jesus has us doing with "rest for your souls." (in Matthew 1:28-30)

I think I have seen how a person can become a serial divorcer > using the same methods, not getting real character correction, therefore getting the same result, over and over . . . while blaming someone else and maybe blaming mistakes in judgement, but never making sure with God.

Dictating what interests someone has to have is not submitting to what our Father desires > love does not have us marrying someone so we can use a person for what we want and what we even can dictate. We can claim we don't want to have a dictator over us; but this can be so we are the dictator . . . right?

This does not work - - no matter what our methods are, or how we use praying as a gesture. Our character has more to do with it :)

But here is what can happen > you can use the Net or a church or prayer or a pick-up bar while you are about yourself, and get connected with someone else who is about himself or herself. And then both of you can be shocked at how you managed to marry such a foolish person. But if you gave your word to Jesus . . . keep your word; now you are in a perfect situation to discover how to love another impossible person. It is possible with God.

"Good understanding gains favor,
.But the way of the unfaithful is hard."
. . . . . . . . . . . . (Proverbs 13:15)

Or . . . you can share and pray with mature couples and widows and widowers who have lived for Christ and learned how to submit to God and obey how He has us loving. And feed on their example, and grow in Jesus, then discover who He has you connected with. And then help one another to keep discovering how to love, and this in order to feed how God has you loving any and all people, not just certain favorites you want to use for what you want!!

"if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" (in Matthew 5:46)

Marriage, then, in Jesus, is a research laboratory where we can make breakthrough discoveries in how to love another person in a close relationship. And then we can use this for relating with all our other Jesus family people, while offering this to even enemies, in case God has them join us.

Because God's love in marriage is all-loving love . . . not to fall in, but to grow in :)

Pray about it,
My personal understanding, now, is prayer needs to include actively seeking God for real correction so we can have real connection with Him and others who are for real in Jesus. And pray to make sure with God about how we see each other person. And make sure with God about who we belong with, for marriage and other sharing.

Oh, and by the way > first get into trusting God, like this, and I would not even start to consider a person unless I deeply trust the person. I am now rather flabbergasted at how people marry people they don't even trust. And in their relating there are issues people have even with ones they think are their soulmates; yet, they don't trust the person to talk about an intimate concern.

So, first I would say, get into truly and deeply trusting Jesus for His input and His personal guiding. You can't be fooled while you keep with how Jesus guides you > He guides us according to all He knows about people, and according to if and how He knows each person is right to be trusted.

So, prayer includes being "swift to hear" God (in James 1:19-20)
 
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